Hello! I am a student, 21 years old and I live in France. I recently dealt with a 25-year-old Frenchman we met in an app (not Tinder). I downloaded it purely as a joke, we wrote to each other for a week and he invited me to a meeting (for the first time I downloaded such an application, I wrote only with it and then I deleted it, because somehow I thought it stupid if I liked to fish with other boys). We went out a total of 4 times, we went to a cafe, bar, cinema, restaurant, all sorts of places. He kissed me on the 3rd meeting towards the end, and the last time we kissed 3 times. We are doing very well. Especially the last time the meeting lasted 6 hours. But ... I feel confused. We write to each other in a day or two, but for a very short time, without saying anything significant. The first time he invited me to a meeting, then me, and the last two times it was a mutual arrangement. But it's been a month and a week and we've only been out 4 times. He invited me to a disco with his friends last week, but not until Friday. After a day or two I told him that we might not wait until Friday and if he was free we would see each other before then. We agreed to go to them and cook for him (he knows I love to cook) and just to note that I didn't want to have sex, it just ends late and we couldn't go out that day. But ... he canceled the meeting on the pretext that he had a dinner with his colleagues from work, which he could not cancel. The next day (Friday) he canceled the disco because he had to leave for Paris earlier. So ... he stopped inviting me on a date, the last time I wrote ... He certainly knows that I like him, but I don't behave obsessively, I just show that I have an interest without being intrusive. Question to women: Have you ever encountered similar behavior from the man you are dealing with and what do you do in such a case? Question to men: If you don't like a girl, why would you write to her at all, that you will even go out and kiss 4 times. Or is it possible that the sympathies have just evaporated so that you can just have a sluggish conversation in the last days of pure ego scratching? I will be happy to hear different opinions on the subject; Thank you:) that you just have a sluggish conversation in the last days by pure scratching your ego? I will be happy to hear different opinions on the subject; Thank you:) that you just have a sluggish conversation in the last days by pure scratching your ego? I will be happy to hear different opinions on the subject; Thank you:)
Answers 9
I don't know, each person is individual, but I personally, if I like a woman, I would seek contact with her, I would take the initiative for meetings and in general - I would be the more active party, trying not to intrude. You haven't shared the character of the man you're dating. I know, if he's more shy, this behavior may be normal for him. My advice is to wait a few days without writing anything to him, then invite him back to a meeting. If he refuses again or starts to dodge, you can ask him directly if there is something that worries him and how he imagines your relationship from now on.
All of these things are possible for you and if you show patience you will learn the answers to your questions. I know of a similar case of yours, with a woman much older than you and with much more experience with men. It is true that it is easy to notice from the sides the unambiguous signals that someone gives you, especially when time has passed and things have already happened. However, when you are fascinated by the curtain of the eyes, you begin to curl up, see only the good things and ignore those that are indicative of the future of a relationship. I don't know what you expect from the young man, but the lady in question imagined that she could have a relationship with her suitor, ignoring the fact that he is constantly somewhere with friends, and he thinks of her from rain to wind (probably when he is bored or just to keep the fire going). After a few meetings like yours, you get to bed, followed by 5 months of oblivion (episodic coffee meetings, short conversations on social networks and eternal engagements with friends). However, the lady is stubborn, ignores this obvious neglect and comes to the second time under the sheets, only then she realizes that no rabbit will jump out of this forest. She draws her own conclusions, but it is normal for me that if you like the young man, he wants to be with you more often, whether it will be a meeting, whether it will be a conversation on the phone or on social networks, whether the separation will just kiss you or will keep your hand in his for longer. If I like a woman, especially if we have already gone out on a date, I start looking for free time to be with her, I change my plans for the day and the week, but not so that we are not together, on the contrary, so that we are maximally time together. The options in your case are many, but most likely, that the gentleman has a boyfriend, but he listens to something fresher, he met you at the moments when his boyfriend was engaged or he just lied to her that he was on business. Meeting with you, he found that you are not the freshest he is looking for and now he is trying to ignore you without causing him any problems. Download the application again and you will see that he has not been deleted from there, on the contrary, his activities are exactly at the time when he could have been with you - the answer is clear.
He spins your numbers, it's simple, he doesn't take you seriously and so much. Tip - don't trust people from dating sites blindly, because in this case you did. You don't know him, you don't know his life, success G40
He probably enjoys your company and just wants you to see each other from time to time as friends and possibly sleep with you later. And you imperceptibly began to enter his personal space, and he decided that you would start wanting something more, so he withdrew. Otherwise, it seems to me that there are a lot of reasons to go out with someone and not necessarily fall in love with him / her - boredom, filling time, desire for diversity and new acquaintances.
I am a woman and I do the same. I'm playing. When they ask me why you go out with him and have emotions with him, I can't answer. Most likely out of boredom.
FROM THE AUTHOR: Thank you very much :)
I don't think he cares about you. He doesn't put any emotion into what isn't even right now. You just hope it's something. I hope he turns out to be serious and decent and eventually succeeds, but for now I'm even wondering if he likes you at all.
I'm a man and it happens to me often, in the sense that I do. I'll explain what's going on. The fact that he likes you or I like a girl doesn't matter how much it doesn't mean that I won't lose interest very quickly if I see that she doesn't make the same effort, procrastinate, play games or somehow make me uncomfortable. If it does not make things easy, light and pleasant, then there is no point in deepening them. Why deepen them when they have defects at this most romantic stage? In your case, I see it's because of procrastination. It's been five weeks and you've only seen each other four times and I'm going to lose all interest. Apparently he initiated a contact and offered the first, maybe the second time, which showed that he was interested and you were expected to do your part and show interest. Things happen when the two sides make a mutual effort, when the woman is playing victim and you are expected to do everything then it is not worth it. Such an attitude is offensive. Imagine things from a man's point of view. You open up, show interest and the other party does nothing and waits? If I show interest and she has to show interest, if I compliment and she has to compliment, etc. Things are mutual! Women who do not understand this and do not show at least the same effort in a relationship as the man and the man-orchestra expect to do everything for them while they sit in the stands as an audience and just applaud face many disappointments. you show interest and the other party does nothing and waits? If I show interest and she has to show interest, if I compliment and she has to compliment, etc. Things are mutual! Women who do not understand this and do not show at least the same effort in a relationship as the man and the man-orchestra expect to do everything for them while they sit in the stands as an audience and just applaud face many disappointments. you show interest and the other party does nothing and waits? If I show interest and she has to show interest, if I compliment and she has to compliment, etc. Things are mutual! Women who do not understand this and do not show at least the same effort in a relationship as the man and the man-orchestra expect to do everything for them while they sit in the stands as an audience and just applaud face many disappointments.
You ask if it's love? No, this is not love. Success!