It's not exactly a problem, rather I share, I have a friend for almost 2 years, our problems are about whether we will live together "not yet, but soon" the question is that it weighs more or less on me that we are not alone. He is 25 and lives with his parents and soon with his sister's family. He lives in a not small house on two floors, one for us with his parents and one for his sister, her husband and their child. But somehow it weighs on me sometimes, I don't have big problems with his parents, but I'm still not calm. There's almost nothing I can do in the kitchen, because his mother always thought of something to do before we got home, and she doesn't care who knows what I want, and my boyfriend doesn't interfere. I want to help his mother (she is almost retired, but not yet), but the woman is still in the element and does not give me much, and I am annoyed by this. And we both don't want accommodation, and without that we don't have enough money. He doesn't take a small salary, but we will buy a car and often he always wants to take me somewhere and for that there are unnecessary expenses for accommodation. And he himself worked and stayed in this house to live there from the money of his grandparents' apartment after they died. And I also live with working in an apartment - not so big two rooms, kitchen and bathroom and so on ... The topic is to share how you live with someone's parents (your wife, your husband).
Answers 11
In your case, you have to endure a few years until you raise money to buy an apartment ... don't you think that you can both live with his parents forever ?? It works - nice. You work too! Assemble an apartment for your own home - this is the only way you will feel free and happy :) About his mother - hah what do you care that she doesn't let you cook, isn't it better: D If she doesn't like her dishes, tell her about one night you cook .. talk to her :) With diplomacy everything is achieved, and with a few compromises on both sides of course.
It is difficult to live with parents, either his or yours. Think of other options. His mother will always feel like the mistress of the house, not that she is not, but she has clearly shown you that she does not want you to interfere in her kitchen and hardly in anything else. Will. quarrels over finances and such everyday things begin. I tell you from personal experience.
That's why we live from the very beginning in an apartment, away from relatives :) May my head be calm. This is how I look at my household as I know it and no one interferes with me. If it is so important for you to have a car, get one, but while you are with his parents, save money and move to an apartment as soon as possible. You are still a separate family :)
Hello, I have written about cohabitation with parents another time and now I am even more extreme - there is no place under one roof for two hosts. And my husband has invested money and effort in his parents' apartment, where he should one day live. Yes, but with them and your family - ie. me and our child one day. There is no way this can happen. We are now temporarily here because we bought an apartment that is not yet ready for living. The old people stay in the village, but they come when they want - this is their home and I can't say a button. But I also have a character and whenever my mother-in-law touches and moves things, I tell her that she annoys me and doesn't do it. The old vampire - to read the father-in-law - did not flush the toilet, and last time he had vomited the sink and the whole toilet bowl. I can't imagine how exactly he did it, but I would faint as I followed him. I made my husband clean - I'm not a maid or a cleaner. About cooking - the last thing I remember is buying 2 fish and making a salad when they came. I had talked to my mother-in-law, she said they would not come, otherwise I would buy for everyone. He started cooking some kebabs, and I made my own fish - so everyone eats whatever they cook. It is quite difficult, but I am strengthened by the thought that I will soon move out of here and will not set foot again. As advice I can give you the following - share with the woman what you plan to cook, buy products and go for a walk. He won't stop you, he just doesn't want to engage you and wait for you. If she cooked dinner, you make some dessert, join the table setting, help. People are not your (our) enemies, it's just very difficult to comply and constantly explain what you plan to do, but why do you do it, but why do you do it exactly this way. After all, home is where you feel at ease. If you think you can't do it, you better not make the mistake of moving into their home. Your friend will never take his side - you are his boyfriend, she is his mother. Talk and consider what you will do next. I hope I have been understood correctly.
THE AUTHOR: What if we fail to reach a compromise? I know that he will not want accommodation, we have talked many times and he is adamant that there are unnecessary expenses. I work, but for our home we will hardly collect with his expenses, not to mention. And I'm not sure I'll be able to live with him in peace. And I doubt we will take such a step soon ... Number 4, thank you very much that we cannot exchange coordinates.
Author, I will give you advice, as often as possible, stay alone right now / supposedly for coffee /, don't share it with her, listen to her stories, I know it's difficult, but judge what kind of person she is. If you have to live with her better know in advance. What are her way of life, her understandings. Get to know her to make an assessment of how to approach her. If you have bad thoughts about her do not share with your husband, no one wants to hear bad about her mother and hates the one who speaks badly about her. "If we fail" is not the right approach to a good life. As she says №4 They are not your enemies №4 She is not very right in her relationship with her mother-in-law but she feels good because her husband is on her side. To live in someone's house and call the owners "old vampires". To come to you suddenly late at night one night, even if he is your father-in-law, and to eat separately, it does not speak of a good upbringing at all. It is also wrong to realize how much the boy has not invested in his home.
tell his mother that you want to cook too .. nme I see what the problem is obviously the woman is not used yet and continues to do everything herself .. I'm sure she will even be happy if you explain to her that you will enjoy to prepare her son's food! Eh, if most had a "problem" like yours..usually the opposite :) Good luck!
From 4 to 6: Yes, you are right in principle. I try to behave well, given the circumstances. I didn't make any calculations about who invested what in the apartment - the old vampires were just offended that we didn't want to live with them and that we were taking out a loan for our home. I do not find this normal. I don't find it normal to ask if they will come, so that I know what dinner to make and say NO and then come and eat her kebab, and my fish will come to naught and throw it away. It is also not normal to find a plate with butts poured inside in the sink in the morning. Number 6, what's wrong with leaving a bowl in the closet and then finding it there? What's wrong with not wanting to touch your clothes and sleep with her 30-year-old naphthalene-smelling sheets bought when my husband was in third grade? Anyway, I said it's temporary for me, I comply, I'm still in someone else's home. I do not want to justify myself, of course, everyone knows what his situation is and what he is forced to endure and swallow.
In my opinion, the woman wants to surprise you by coming home with a warm and tasty meal, or just to please you and not make you do cooking and housework after work.
№8 Don't be angry with me, I'm not your mother-in-law. It's perfectly normal for her to tell you that they won't go home, but for her husband to tell her afterwards, "Let's go." It is quite normal to share your fish with them and you would still find something else to complement the dinner and not the tired one from the village to run away to cook kebab. Didn't you wash the dishes in the evening and didn't offer the ashtrays to the smokers, are you telling me that? Leaving a bowl in someone else's closet and living with more people shouldn't bother you at all. Does anyone force you to sleep on her sheets? - I can't believe he comes in the evening to check if you're sleeping on them. I believe she didn't buy you shorts and check to see if you were wearing them. I also have a father-in-law and a mother-in-law. My father-in-law also came home (to our apartment) while I was at work and roasted mussels in my new pot, they forgot them and it burned, but what, I was not happy, but I accepted it as an occasion to buy another new and nice one. One should not indulge in so many trifles, there are great things in life for which we will not have the strength to deal with the little things. Where was the bowl, butts in the plate, I know it's not pleasant but it's not a pain to die. How would you feel if your daughter-in-law / son-in-law after 18-20 years, is not happy that you return to "your new apartment", they came uninvited to their own house A-a-a. About the fish, not to mention that in your mind it is better to spoil it than to share it, even with your enemy, and they are not your enemies !!! It's not nice so a girl gets rid of hatred she eats only you. One should not indulge in so many trifles, there are great things in life for which we will not have the strength to deal with the little things. Where was the bowl, butts in the plate, I know it's not pleasant but it's not a pain to die. How would you feel if your daughter-in-law / son-in-law after 18-20 years, is not happy that you return to "your new apartment", they came uninvited to their own house A-a-a. About the fish, not to mention that in your mind it is better to spoil it than to share it, even with your enemy, and they are not your enemies !!! It's not nice so a girl gets rid of hatred she eats only you. One should not indulge in so many trifles, there are great things in life for which we will not have the strength to deal with the little things. Where was the bowl, butts in the plate, I know it's not pleasant but it's not a pain to die. How would you feel if your daughter-in-law / son-in-law after 18-20 years, is not happy that you return to "your new apartment", they came uninvited to their own house A-a-a. About the fish, not to mention that in your mind it is better to spoil it than to share it, even with your enemy, and they are not your enemies !!! It's not nice so a girl gets rid of hatred she eats only you. not happy that you are returning to "your new apartment", they came uninvited to their own house A-a-a. About the fish, not to mention that in your mind it is better to spoil it than to share it, even with your enemy, and they are not your enemies !!! It's not nice so a girl gets rid of hatred she eats only you. not happy that you are returning to "your new apartment", they came uninvited to their own house A-a-a. About the fish, not to mention that in your mind it is better to spoil it than to share it, even with your enemy, and they are not your enemies !!! It's not nice so a girl gets rid of hatred she eats only you.
10, because he'll ask me- I'll tell you- the old vampire eats in his room in the middle of the night (that's why I call him a "vampire") and smokes there and in the morning he leaves his plate in the sink and throws his butts inside. How can I complete the dinner when she came and told me - nothing, pick up the fish, I will cook. These are just examples I gave the author based on my half-life with my father-in-law and mother-in-law. Yes, they are not a pain to die. This is about respecting my family, respecting my decisions as a wife, housewife and wife. So I find your comment inappropriate.