Motherhood, is it for all women? Is it for me, am I so tired now, am I depressed. Is it bad to let your grandmother's child look at him one night, won't the woman get very tired? What do you think, is there a break in parenthood, is it necessary from the great exhaustion, is it difficult for us (at least for me), I always hear before what happened, with several children, and for us why it is difficult for us with one, there are laundries, dishwasher, the grandmother looked at him for an hour. And my husband goes to work and when I tell him I want some rest he tells me how the others even watched them without help. So when did it get bad for Grandma to watch him get some rest? Do men understand us or is the damage with us? Am I the only one?
Answers 7
Who are the others watching without help? Which ones? Specifically and by name. Because if you dig, it will turn out not to be so. I look after a seventh year child almost without help, hey hell. Three evenings a year babysitter three grandmothers. One weekend for those six years we went somewhere alone - two nights. Honestly, I need to leave in a week. Because you really don't have a vacation. On vacation - you're a mother again. Everywhere and always. I can't give it to his grandmother for a week, he hardly knows her. The others around me - the child is with his grandmother on the weekends, he goes to the sea with his grandmother, during the holidays he is with his grandmother. In the evening, if they go out - with his grandmother. I envy them, honestly. It's an incredible relief, and if I had a grandmother on hand, I wouldn't think about using it. Don't be a hero, but harness it, it won't get tired. In addition, he will then be able to rest. And you don't.
Let him go to kindergarten. I watch mine with pleasure, he is 4 years old, he also goes to the garden. Well, at the moment I stopped it because of the flu and I have a lot of fun with it. When he was 2 he was quite difficult, tiring, he was crying, shivering, not just eating, I picked him up many times a day, I wore him, my body ached from fatigue. He was ill and did not go to the nursery much. No grandmother helped me. They both didn't want him because he was small and required a lot of care. Well, now he's big, smart, polite and I'm glad he was with me to raise him. They want him now to keep them company, but he's bored with his grandmothers.
Depression is yes, it still holds me and deepens. Day by day I am more and more unhappy, but I can't live without my child even for an hour. My advice is Just sleep when the baby sleeps too. I know that cleaning, washing and cooking are waiting for you, but take advantage while you are a baby. After 8 months of age it will become more difficult. Besides, you will avoid the unpleasant emotions from the tossing of your stupid man. Calm down, share what exactly tires you there are many tricks to facilitate you will always be given advice on how to cope
There is nothing wrong with leaving the child with his grandmother for one night, but there is one fact that you have to take into account, it is not important whether she will get tired, but whether she wants to take care of the child. The truth is, she doesn't have to look after children, and you can only leave it to her if she wants to. "and why is it difficult for us with one" There are several explanations for this question and no one can say what exactly applies to you if he does not know you personally. Some women just get bored of them, others are used to someone taking care of them, and when the time comes when they have to not only take care of themselves, but also take care of a baby, a problem arises. Others invent all sorts of obligations, ostensibly for the benefit of the child, which complicate their lives. Others are used to hanging around and not being able to make a plan for the day, all day left to right and nothing done at the end and they are super tired. Fourth are accustomed, that is, they have a kind of dependence on FB or TV and spend most of the day on the Internet or with TV. There are many other types of reasons, and it is possible that the situation is a combination of several or all reasons. For the time "before" these problems did not exist, because all women long before they became mothers were taught a lot of hard physical work from an early age and looking after children at home of such women is seen as a song. Plus, when looking after several children and housekeeping without laundry, dishwashing, etc., they did not have time to invent unnecessary obligations. Did they get tired, oh yes, but they were so used to fatigue that they were unfamiliar with the feeling of rest, and not as a small shock to the body now. They didn't know the rest, they did not imagine that it was possible for any of them to leave the child with the grandmother and go to a spa in Velingrad with her husband for a weekend, they never dreamed of such things. If you wish, I can describe a day to the mother of a small baby from 50 years ago or from 100 years ago to understand that today's woman could not cope with a quarter of the work that women did then. Because in fact you list that today there were laundries and dishwashers, but you forget that today there are diapers, today there are seamstresses and shops with ready-made clothes, sheets and tablecloths, today there are vegetables, fruits and meat in the shops, there are semi-finished foods, etc. She thought of washing diapers and weaving them herself, and sewing her husband's shirts and clothes and spinning and weaving all the home textiles, sowing potatoes, digging them and taking them out of the garden before you cook and the chicken should not be plucked and cleaned on the shelf in the store, but running around the garden before you cook it in soup, add to the obligations to get up every day at 5 o'clock in the morning to milk the cow and goats, to knead the bread for the day, make and breakfast and make milk on cheese. And in order to take a bath, you must first bring water from the village fountain with a rocker, then heat it on the stove and bathe over the basin in the middle of the room with soap, which you made yourself earlier. At the same time to have babies and children. And if you dig into the history, the grandmothers started to look after grandchildren only after the middle of the society, until then they had enough obligations, they were exhausted early in the 40s and the average life expectancy was about 50 years, and they gave birth to 40 years. age. Daughters-in-law often raised brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law because when the mother-in-law gave birth at the age of 37-40, she was unable to raise her own child on her own, not that she stopped working, but did not have the strength to do all household chores. The mothers went with the baby to the fields and tied the swings to a tree near the fields they were digging, their rest was to feed the baby. Do you have any idea how many people in the early 20th century were born at the levels in BG? And even if she gives birth before noon or at noon, no one leaves the fields to pick up the mother and the child, they leave her lying under the tree or under the cart in the shade, and the relatives continue to dig and return until the evening. The attention with which today's mothers are surrounded could not be dreamed of. From the first day after birth, they looked after their own children,
I'm number 3 again. My son is 20 months old. He walks alone, undresses alone, opens his doors alone, shows stubbornness. We live abroad, he attends a full day nursery, I watch him alone since he was born. He doesn't want to talk, I think he's confused. His habit of waking up twice a night as a baby is still in effect, but over time I've become accustomed to insomnia and it doesn't bother me. The most difficult period is the drilling of the teeth - from 4 months of age to 2 years old, but there is a trick for that. You do not write anything specific about how old the child is or what it is. Give more information to help you. From me to know about your husband and others you will always be to blame for everything - that the child is sick, that his child grows a tooth and cries, that the child has been drooling for exactly 3 minutes since you changed his clothes, oh my God, how much he deprived his mother . Do not expect understanding, sympathy in the first place Baby comfort, secondly, his father's pleasure, thirdly the criticism of everyone around you towards you and many other things, your pains, torments, tears are left behind. Swallow it, you no longer exist as a person, but to know that your reward is the love of your child. You will realize in time and in situations what I am telling you.
No one is obliged to look after your children, except the paid babysitters. Most of the grandmothers work and are also tired and want to rest. When you can't handle a child, why did you get married and have one? How did you imagine it was like playing with a plush toy?
It is not clear how old the child is, and this is important. But what's wrong with Grandma looking at him? Nothing, of course, is even good for the child to get used to other people. If it is over a year, you can give it to the nursery, if it is over 3 years - in the garden, and you can start work. This way you will both be distracted, you will not be at home all day, you will earn some money. It stays dull from standing at home, I agree. And I didn't like my life to end with diapers, milk and porridge. The good thing is that it passes, the bad thing is that it is slow.