Hello, friends, I am writing here hoping to help me, because I really do not know what to do, I have tried absolutely everything. The problem, as implied in the title, is that my best friend is not the same person from 1 year ago. She has changed so much as a character that at times I can't recognize the person against me, and the worst thing is that I myself feel tired and exhausted. Everything was wonderful at the beginning of our relationship, we shared everything, we made small but important gestures with which we showed our strong friendship, what nonsense we did together, what we did not go through, we were together and for good and at worst, I felt and feel her as a sister, even as more than a sister, I would give my life for her without thinking. But the problem may have been when she first fell in love with a boy, which unfortunately did not respond to her feelings. Of course, I was always by her side, I supported her, I said that he is a fool not to appreciate such a good and beautiful girl like her and that life is ahead of her, she will still meet love, yet someone will appreciate her as a person. But she was no longer the same person. that I don't pay attention to her, I hear every day how black and nasty life is, that no one loves her, that she is ugly, that I have everything and she has nothing.
And gradually all this makes me tired, as if it drains my mood and energy, along with it I started to get more nervous and irritated, I know it's not right and I'm trying to control myself, but the situation is already intolerable. I support her, I encourage her constantly, I show the beautiful features of both life and herself, but she just doesn't hear me. I don't want to leave her, I want the good old, cheerful, and devoted man to return, but I don't have the strength to fight anymore. So I'm asking for advice because I really don't know what else to do. Thank you all for your time and advice and I apologize if I made mistakes in the speed!
Answers 5
Probably given your age, this does appear to be a problem, but I want to tell you that this problem is not as big as you imagine. It's about your relationship with a man - your girlfriend. Know that the most important thing is to have some criteria according to which to choose your friends and not to give in to these principles. And when one of these friends has a behavior that is no longer among these criteria - for example, he is jealous as in this case - then despite the pain of loss, you have to take this step. Compromises are made, yes, but this is not a friend for me. She has no right to envy you, no wonder she tries to steal your boyfriend or try to do some other stupid thing! Just because you've known someone for a long time doesn't mean anything, they may even be your relative and fuck you again. With age you will understand that it is important above all to be responsible to yourself and to value yourself the most, so you will gain a sense of better judging people and communicating with those who share your values. There are decent people, but until you come across them, it's a long way. Learn to erase from your life those that hinder you, no matter how much it hurts in the beginning.
Give me some time .... At the moment she is going through a period of unrequited love .... She does not want to accept it because she is hurt .. she sees you and your friend happy and radiant .. she has dreamed of the same .. go out with her talk hang up and what she was like before .... tell her that life is joy but also sadness and you want the old cheerful man to return to it again .. show that you care about her ... as far as your goal and you show but ... she's just angry and very upset right now .. so you better give her some time to think
My girlfriend was also like that in the summer, she liked a boy, she started with heels and a skirt, she started to get annoyed, she shouted, plucked her eyebrows. and we are always together and for your problem you can find her a friend
From the author: Thank you all for the advice and time! :) I'm really trying to give her time, I know it's not easy what she's going through, but there are really moments when I can't stand it purely mentally. I do not want to leave her at this moment, but the hope keeps me that that good-natured and cheerful man with whom we shared even the most intimate secrets will return, and we have laughed to tears. The bad thing in this case is that I tried to talk to her and the result is zero, again the old song in a new voice, which took me a long time. After a conversation with her, I feel depressed and there is no trace of the good mood I was in, I feel much more nervous, which in some way affects my work and studies. If I didn't feel like more than a sister, I'd be free of it by now, but the fact that she is the closest person I trust completely stops me, I'm just happy and I can't somehow leave her alone to deal with it, but I can't stand it mentally anymore. I will be very happy if I get more advice and how you would act in my place. :) Thank you all!
I had a similar problem with the difference that I introduced her to a boy with whom they later broke up. Then the nightmare began for me. I was guilty of meeting them. He called me several times a day. He was harassing me, holding on to my every word. It was very difficult for me to experience it, but I started to turn off my phone and not accept her calls. Gradually, she started calling less often and has not called me for almost a year. I found new girlfriends and now I choose my friends. Maybe she wasn't a real friend to me when she changed like that. Now I'm calmer. There is no one to blame me every day. Life goes on.