Please post the story. I am a 21 and a half year old boy who has not kissed a girl, had sex or been in a serious relationship. I guess the reasons for this are in part that I have had divorced parents since I was a baby and there has not been much talk in my family about sex and relationships with girls. And separately, compared to some of my peers, I was enlightened much later on these topics. I recently watched some fun videos about relationships and first dates, and that gave me a little confidence, because I found that I've actually been to a lot more dates with girls than I thought, since I was a kid, but I've always heard of a date. I imagined something sublime and profound. In fact, I was blown away when I realized it ... About girlfriends - I've had girlfriends since I was a child, there were almost always girlfriends, with whom I was emotionally connected. I even think that as I get older, the way I talk to them improves. I don't feel ashamed or insecure when talking or having physical contact with a girl, but when it comes to mouth kissing, sexual intercourse and more serious relationships - there is none. There were several times I went out with a girl and I had already decided that I would be afraid to take a more serious step, but it so happened that there was no suitable atmosphere. I know that many of you will say that it will come from only myself, but I think I need to change my behavior a little more. And although, as I said, it's not that I lack female attention / for the last 2 years it has happened that it's mostly on the Internet, because my job and specialty are dominated by men,
Answers 13
brother, don't give it a very deep meaning, it's useless. When you see the right girl, things will happen by themselves. I'm 22 and I'm about to get married, you're bothering to kiss :).
What do you call a "more serious step", sex? I assure you that he is not the most serious thing in a relationship and it is not the most important thing to roll in bed with someone. "Sex" and "love" are not the same, they are different things.
Up to 2 - Sex and love are really different things. But what is most important and serious in a relationship is different for different couples. People get together for different purposes - often the goal is to roll in bed, in which there is nothing wrong. The more serious step is everything that makes the relationship last longer, it can be for sex, it can be for love, it can be for any other common interests / literature, cinema, business /. And in general, no matter how unpleasant it is for you, understand (and then accept) that the more serious step is not necessarily love. Also, it is not forbidden or abnormally more serious step to have sex.
You hardly need to change who knows what - you're on the right track. From what you share, it is clear that you are a well-mannered boy and you are on the right track. It is no longer possible without a lev. As well as more courage, culture and composure when you suggest and specify the more serious step. And if you come across one like number 2 - forget it! She wants love. Platonic love. With such you need a splash of sea waves, sunrise, sunset, love lyrics / read knees in front of her /, flowers and many others. And so for months, during which you polish the cane / which will make her very happy, because this is proof that you have serious intentions /. And to often hint at marriage or children.
;))) romantic sun ... there is no "recipe" for this. As n1 says, when the right girl is in front of you, it will happen. When you feel it, just bow your head and kiss it gently, it will tell you with actions as much as it can.
Nothing will happen by itself. That's life. Take an interest in landfill theory and psychology. With this benevolent attitude and placing it in the center, you create the impression of pure friendship in most women. Pure psychology. Read the ladder theory. Most women decide pretty quickly who stays in the friends column. Success! :)
At some point when you meet the girl you want to kiss and fall in love with her, but she doesn't want you, what will you do? Why don't you go to a prostitute to see how things are, and then have more confidence.
You are the person who has to take the first step. There are few girls who will be afraid to take the initiative in their hands .. even if they like you, they will be waiting for you;)
Author: thanks for the comments so far. I have been educating myself on the subject for some time, because I was curious why it still didn't work out and gradually I understand more and more things, I also know that some boys prefer to act fast, while others - to get to know the girl. But just as they don't want to make a name for a light woman by playing fast, so I don't want to make a name for a player. I think I would startle a girl I have known for a short time if I kissed her - after all, we are all afraid when someone of the opposite sex is in a hurry to declare serious intentions towards us. I may be wrong, but in this way I express a kind of serious intentions. In general, I do not feel so bad because of my lack of experience, I live without thinking about what society expects of me and I am against following the social model and doing so, which others tell you, but I want to gain more practical experience now, so I turned for advice. It is true that there was a time when I was younger and when most contact with girls was more a coincidence and I was ashamed to do things that I now consider normal.
Author, I just read your comment under number 19. Now I understand where your problem is. First I will emphasize that I have nothing against you, and everything is just to realize where you are wrong. If I hurt you, I apologize in advance. Just read my opinion impartially, without taking it personally, but as advice for change. By the way, at your age I had also achieved a lot for my age and I expected the chicks to stick to me just because of that. Well, yes, but no. In practice, this is not the case. For the 4 languages in question, let me tell you what it looks like in a woman's eyes and you will understand why she has changed her opinion of you so drastically. When you demonstrate such things, she is left with the impression that you almost expect that when you speak 4 languages and you have achieved some things (which, by the way, may have no value for her, because for everyone different things are valuable), she must lie to you. It just makes her feel humiliated. It's almost like trying to buy a woman with money. In this case, you buy it with some of your things that you think should be valuable to everyone. This looks ridiculous and funny from the side. This belief that everyone should be at your feet because of some languages is frankly annoying. Besides, it's kind of rusk and nerd. Communication should be freer, more natural, more non-committal. And how much language you speak is something you have to say in a job interview, not a date with a girl. If he's on a first date, just forget about a second. Honestly, no woman cares how many languages you speak. There is an unwritten rule in meetings that you should talk primarily about her and not about yourself. Don't try to advertise yourself, to emphasize your qualities and to expect that when you are what you are, she will go out fucking the fool if she doesn't choose to be with you. Just talk to her as a person, about purely human things, joke, try to have fun and have a good time. He left in her the impression of a broad-minded, down-to-earth, funny man who is at peace with himself and has no ill ambitions to conquer the world with knowledge and skills at the age of twenty-two. This is repulsive. From time to time she talks about herself, but not about achievements, but about some partially personal things and sweet things that will touch her and make her feel closer to you. For example, something your childhood. Of course, don't go to this extreme to tell any super personal stories and bore her with heartbreaking events. The idea is to get some free and casual conversation to relax. In any case, with language conversations, you won't let her go. She will sit on thorns in tension and will no longer want to be subjected to such tension again. He will feel distance, not a desire to get closer. Accordingly, you can write off the second meeting. If the conversations are difficult at the beginning, you can take her to the movies. This way you will not have to talk, you will relax during the movie, and then there will be an occasion for a non-committal conversation - about the movie. Try to create a cozy atmosphere for her, you can prepare a light and pleasant surprise - a gift or something like that to show that she is valuable to you and at the same time not intrusive, so as not to think that you are some desperate type who definitely wants to have one. Another unwritten rule is that if you share her passions and fears, you become much nicer. Only the manifestation of understanding to her passions and fears makes them more likable in her eyes. You also have to make her laugh. This predisposes her and removes the resistance. At first, the woman is the weaker sex and is subconsciously afraid of being abused (not just literally). From there comes subconscious resistance and fear. If you do not work them out, she will be afraid of you and will connect you with tension on a subconscious level and will not want a second meeting. option is to invite her to a romantic restaurant. When one is in such an environment, one feels more special. In general, there are many things that are learned through experience. You miss him at the moment, and you don't seem to be very good at communication. You are an intelligent person, you can achieve it easily, as long as you ask how. Until you master it, you will only attract low-quality women. There is on the net and in the literature how to achieve good communication and how to become good at courtship,
The one who advises you above to read the theory of dumps and forget the benevolent attitude towards girls is deeply mistaken, because you do not have a "consumer" attitude towards women. Yes, it will help you break down a little, learn to flirt a little, but you don't have to worry so much about your inexperience. That he and more experienced men feel anxious when they have to kiss a woman for the first time. It is obvious that you are a nice, nice and smart boy, do not force things and listen to your intuition! When you feel a real attraction and emotions to a girl, you will feel when the time is right for something more :)))
the author: numbers 20 and 21, thank you for the comments. I may not be good at the subject, but I've known for a long time that bragging about how many languages I speak and what I've accomplished is far from the best way to get girls off, because some people feel uncomfortable at first. that someone else has achieved more than them, secondly: some would think that I am a jerk looking for attention and approval and thirdly: some people would use me as a person who will improve their language and programming skills, not as a friend and / or something more. I learned this while learning one of the languages, because it was my biggest difficulty on the way to success. Regarding the consumer attitude towards women: I have been watching various videos for a long time and I have read some advice given by some experienced downloaders. I also tried to make a connection between that, which they say and my previous experiences with girls, as well as my current meetings with girlfriends and I learned a lot of useful things. Some of them tell how they tried different things and finally found a way that helped them sleep with a large number of girls / some would doubt the accuracy of the information, but I am 75% sure that they are not exaggerating /. And although I am convinced that such an experience can be useful, I have no consumer attitude towards women because I grew up in a family of divorced parents and I do not want the same stories to be repeated with me, I prefer to have a more serious, stable and lasting relationship. because I think one day I will have children and I know how important it is for them to grow up in a good family, with two parents who have a good relationship. It's too early for me, but I feel great for one-day youth. Still, the different advice confuses me, because some people say it's good to act as fast as possible, and women still need time to trust each other, but there was a danger that they wouldn't take you for more than a friend. if we are only friends for half a year. Some even write that a woman would not feel beautiful if the man had not kissed her sooner. I'm not good at games, and yet a relationship is a relationship because you connect with the person, not play with him in pursuit or hiding. Well, these last things confuse me, because just as I don't want to consume, I also don't want to miss a chance for something really good just because I either live in my own world or I'm incompetent enough to read signals, and so on. but there was a danger that they would take you for more than a friend, if we were only friends for half a year. Some even write that a woman would not feel beautiful if the man had not kissed her sooner. I'm not good at games, and yet a relationship is a relationship because you connect with the person, not play with him in pursuit or hiding. Well, these last things confuse me, because just as I don't want to consume, I also don't want to miss a chance for something really good just because I either live in my own world or I'm incompetent enough to read signals, and so on. but there was a danger that they would take you for more than a friend if we were only friends for half a year. Some even write that a woman would not feel beautiful if the man had not kissed her sooner. I'm not good at games, and yet a relationship is a relationship because you connect with the person, not play with him in pursuit or hiding. Well, these last things confuse me, because just as I don't want to consume, I also don't want to miss a chance for something really good just because I either live in my own world or I'm incompetent enough to read signals, and so on.
again addition by the author: I wrote a long comment describing what I think and want, but I know very well that in order to want, you have to give ..