Hello, I am a 26-year-old woman. and I have a very long and serious relationship that I feel weighs on me and I don't know how to fight for it and whether it's worth it ... The man next to me is from high school, I haven't had boyfriends before him and he is the only one in my life we. After all these years, I suddenly had a feeling that I had never thought I would feel before, and that was boredom. I finally admitted to myself that I was bored and needed variety. I need to communicate with other men without the conversation ending with "I'm sorry, but I can't have coffee with you because I have a boyfriend" and then I go home to him and the only things he wants to do are to watching TV or a quick sex .... And nothing else, he doesn't want us to go out, he doesn't want us to do anything new, nothing different. The only difference is that we go to sea with our company all year round and that's ... but it's the same every year. I don't know if anyone has been through such a moment, I don't know if I'm absolutely wrong. I may not be right to want my life to be more dynamic. I guess I look like another woman who doesn't value her relationship and just wants to change men one after the other ... I want to assure you that I'm not looking for that. I realized that I just wanted to be single, to hope that the man on the bench, for example, could be the love of my life, not to worry about talking to someone, to feel a thrill, butterflies in my stomach and such positive things . I can't and can't imagine my life being so monotonous, but on the other hand I'm so used to the man next to me, that I don't know if I leave him if I won't regret it afterwards and I know you can't decide for me. I expect people on the site to have someone who has gone through such a moment and share his lessons, and everyone else who has more experience than me to advise me and somehow find the right direction, because I have no idea where to go. It's easiest to leave things as they are, but is it the right choice? I do not know. I apologize for all the chaos that some of you have been able to read. It's easiest to leave things as they are, but is it the right choice? I do not know. I apologize for all the chaos that some of you have been able to read. It's easiest to leave things as they are, but is it the right choice? I do not know. I apologize for all the chaos that some of you have been able to read.
Answers 22
Boredom is the killer of everything else. If she appears, this is the beginning of the end. Many people come to terms with it and live like this all their lives, day after day, without thrill without joy and without emotion. Talk openly and if it stays that way, each in his own way. Good luck.
Abe people, didn't you realize that you can't have everything. The man on the bench can be lazy and lazy, and the one with whom you drink coffee, just pass you quickly and go to drink coffee with the next. Then will you post topics again and explain how difficult a period you are in?
A thrill? if the man next to you loves and appreciates you, if he treats you well, he respects you, and he loves you, then keep him now and forever, and forget about these butterflies ... Why? because those who now take down the stars where they bring the butterflies in your stomach tomorrow can put horns on you, the next one can drink it can beat you :) It has happened to all of us, but think if it's worth it, many women have suffered, a lot have met the man of your life, but everything is a risk, because you meet a man only after you live together before that everything is a circus to win you and then it is no longer known .. if your boyfriend does not behave well with you go, but if it's just because of the monotony, think, because nothing is known, the next one may be worse, it may be better, but we can't know and tell you :) G20
You don't love your boyfriend, it's clear! Break up with him and start a new beginning. If you stay with him only out of affection, sooner or later you will start cheating and this will bring you new problems and mental anguish. As painful as it is, now is the time to part.
Keep in mind that sooner or later the thrill will go away with the next one. If you are looking for a constant thrill and talking to men in the parks, you will have to change them often.
Free the boy from yourself. Give him the opportunity to meet a person who will truly love him. You do not deserve him. Walk with these on the benches and chase the butterflies. You need variety. You can also jump with a parachute. :)
If you are bored going out with friends, they should cheer you up. You obviously don't have a feeling for him with your boyfriend. Tell him in plain text he should understand you.
Such a long relationship, and have you thought about family? Grayness appears in a relationship sooner or later, it is a matter of judgment whether to stay in it or not. I'm not inciting you, but this thing you miss one day you'll regret. It is true that in those years to be with only 1 person on the one hand is commendable, but on the other hand you miss many wonderful moments with other people, the dynamics of life at the moment, easily bores people in your situation. I was in your place, I broke up with my partner, we diversified and after a while we got together, everyday life became the same again, because we know each other and for the short time of separation (6 months) none of us can present something new and in the end account all over. Keep in mind that you may encounter something better than the current one, but that doesn't mean. that the grayness will not come there either. Or it could be worse. But in the end, something you don't like breaks and the next you have a life that goes by hell. If you don't make it interesting yourself, there is no one else. Success!
number 1 and number 4 are absolutely right, who explains anything.
Before you break up with your boyfriend, as some will quickly advise you, answer the following questions: 1. Is he nice to you? Does he respect you? 2. Is your friend a caring person? 3. Is he jealous of you for no reason? 4. Does it give you freedom to choose a hobby, friends? 5. Do you have a good sex life? If the answer to all these questions is yes, then the problem is not in your relationship, but in you. It is not worth losing something valuable, built for years to chase the wild. Boredom is present in every long-term relationship, but some, instead of finding a way to overcome it, decide to end a healthy relationship, believing that this is the right thing to do, and over time appreciate what they have lost. Sign up for something - dancing, language, hobbies. Meet friends. Have romantic dinners with your boyfriend - restaurants, cinema, holidays. Don't wait for him to plan everything - be your active party. If you really have a harmonious relationship, I think it's time for a child. I guarantee your boredom will evaporate, but only if you have a stable and good relationship with your partner.
I want to tell you that you are lucky to meet love, and now, as usual, you start complaining. You want a thrill, ok leave him, but don't cheat behind his back, it's low and complex. You will see for yourself that after the change of many men you will not meet the love you had before. Ok, you can fall in love, but the other side uses you and plays with you without suspecting time passes, you get over 30 and realize that you have wasted your age on an inappropriate man, then you will get bored and the so-called thrill , you will not want love and daydreaming, but you will want to either start a family or stay single, having sexual partners to satisfy your urge. You have no pleasure if you are courted, entertained and appreciated for 10 years and more, you will say to yourself, oh I'm bored, I want something new, I'm tired of this love. The problem is in you, you want to catch up with men, you want someone else to treat you ... well, you want to have fun with someone else, not that your friend no longer pays you the necessary attention. The problem of the "virgins", who had only 1 man in their "bed", is that they were always 26, 36 or 46, they want other men, they want to gain experience, but in their quest to chase the wild, they become the most common. .. and, but with the excuse that they are looking for love and thrill.
Why are you judging the girl? According to her description, her boyfriend has no interests. Is that how he should waste his life? What's her fault for being bored with a man whose only interest is watching TV? It is not said that if a person is in a long relationship, he is obliged to be with the person next to him forever. I don't think there should be a child with a man who can't make an effort to keep his young, and probably beautiful, girlfriend. To sit alone! As long as you judge the sharers. I'm your age and I'm a girl, I wouldn't deepen my relationship with a man who doesn't appreciate what he has.
At 26 with a long relationship ... You didn't know, starting with her, whether you fuck or pee :) Not to mention the essential part, about the relationship :)
Number 6, why with a parachute? :)
Thank you for being so conscientious that you feel guilty about something for which you have no guilt. Boredom and monotony are a natural consequence of long-term relationships, especially among young people. You're not the only one in that situation. I think this connection is exhausted or if it is not yet, it is approaching this point. Yes, it is clear that you will delay the end for a long time because of the habit and the already established habit of being with this person. There are couples who have been in a relationship for years, even though they are aware that there is no longer a thrill between them. But sooner or later there comes a time when things end, because there is simply nowhere to go. And I don't think you'll have any reason to regret ending this relationship. Is it worth a young girl to live in a way that does not make her happy and full in a situation
You just don't love him anymore. The habit remains. Judge for yourself if you want to spend your life in such a relationship. On the one hand you have the convenience of the familiar, some comfort and security, but also the realization that you will always have to compromise with yourself and your desires and you can not be completely happy. On the other hand, nothing is waiting for you for sure, you don't even have a specific other person in your field of vision - you take risks and you can lose what you have instead of finding your right partner and happiness ... But if you don't try it will always eat you, that you haven't tried and you will wonder what it would be like if ... The other thing is that you committed too young, without experience, without making a living - this, sooner or later kills and if it will kill, you better it's early. The choice is not easy and you will be the one to live with the consequences, not the people who advise you.
And I can tell you that you are very lucky if you have such a man next to you for so long. I have been looking for him all my life and I do not find him unfortunately. You should know that the thrill and butterflies in the stomach disappear very quickly and then it remains Respect for each other. Boredom sooner or later appears. Just do something crazy and new together, meet new people, diversify the relationship and sex.
Well, there's a good chance he's not the man for you and you really have to break up. But did you talk to him about these things? That you want variety, attention, not fast sex, but romance and adventure? Not all people understand hints and are not mediums. And communication is very important. You two don't communicate. I understand that she had talked to him, that he should not be widowed, and then that you want separation, that you are tired. Just sit at the same table with him and tell him about your feelings, about the things you want and want. If they diverge, then split up permanently. You can't do without communication! Otherwise there will always be some misunderstanding. Otherwise, do not compromise with your desires, do not listen to people who reconcile just to have someone by their side. At 38, I just met a soulmate, but at least I know it's all I want. But we always share our thoughts and feelings with each other. You do it too. Julian
Number 10, the answer to question 3 should be No!
People are different and have different needs. Neither he nor you are to blame. Neither are you right - nor is he. Simply because there is no right or wrong. There are different people. And in order for them to be satisfied in and out of their relationships, their views and values need to overlap to some extent. That's it. G29
From 10 to number 20 Yes, you're right. The answer to question 3 must be NO! I wasn't careful.
Hi, about 6 months ago I was in the same situation. I am 22 years old, I had a relationship with a wonderful person for 7 years! But I felt the same way, I wanted butterflies in my stomach and something different .. I tried to separate, but he didn't want to, and I obviously wasn't so sure ... Today we are already separated, but not at my request and now I would give everything to be in that moment and change something instead of trying to escape ... I advise you not to separate .. so that you do not regret like me now ..