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Love and affairs

My Eyes Are Always Looking Elsewhere

By kaypeahd August 28, 2020 7 answers Last updated August 28, 2020

Hello, I am M. and I have been with a woman for 3 years, I like her, I love her, but when I see a beautiful woman I start thinking about sexual topics :). I haven't cheated, I have no intention, but I don't know how long it will last like that, I want variety in sex and in my partner, but on the other hand I love her, I respect her ... What should I do?

Answers 7

1
ellaeyre answered · August 28, 2020

   We are human - this is nature. We are constantly considering new alternatives when they arise. This is good because when we break up with someone, we can find another and fall in love with another, but it is bad because when we have something, it tempts us. The truth is that temptations are everywhere - this is VERY normal. Some are strong, unstoppable, but the important thing is to consider the alternative and weigh the possibilities. In your case - you just need flirtation, emotion - something nice. There is nothing wrong with this. We are social beings and we are constantly among people. This also means having other people who, if we were alone, would like us and want to be with them. Having someone next to us doesn't change things. You're just with someone, you love them, you see something else that grabs you, and you start thinking about whether the deal is worth it or not. You have chosen to do nothing and be with the woman next to you. Every bound person has such "torments". Some do not resist and cheat, others find a way to stop and move forward with the person they are with. Accept it as a good emotion, as something positive, as something that is good precisely because it is just a germ. You compose an imaginary image for them - idealized. But if you meet them and spend 1 day in their company, it may turn out that they are not 20% of what you thought. You just used their images to develop your imagination. This may mean that you need some kind of emotion breaking down. I would recommend that you try to come up with something that is different emotionally for you and your girlfriend - you both do something you have never done. Surprise her - candles, surprise - something to "tear the web" in your relationship. It will not be your first temptation to appear. You just have to learn to accept it as something normal and try to set boundaries for yourself and most of all to look real - because these fantasies with these women, even if you are with them - you will be disappointed because you are you represent an idealized thing, but there is no ideal person. Therefore, when you feel that you have such a fantasy - do not connect it with a specific person, but with the need for such an experience - in this case you do not need these girls, but the emotion of novelty. You just have to learn to accept it as something normal and try to set boundaries for yourself and most of all to look real - because these fantasies with these women, even if you are with them - you will be disappointed because you are you represent an idealized thing, but there is no ideal person. Therefore, when you feel that you have such a fantasy - do not connect it with a specific person, but with the need for such an experience - in this case you do not need these girls, but the emotion of novelty. You just have to learn to accept it as something normal and try to set boundaries for yourself and most of all to look real - because these fantasies with these women, even if you are with them - you will be disappointed because you are you represent an idealized thing, but there is no ideal person. Therefore, when you feel that you have such a fantasy - do not connect it with a specific person, but with the need for such an experience - in this case you do not need these girls, but the emotion of novelty.

2
cutiecry answered · August 28, 2020

   Don't think it's just you! To me, the above means that you are a completely normal man. These nonsense with monogamy and monoandria were invented to impose guilt complexes on us. The more people realize this, the less drama there will be.

3
danolla answered · August 28, 2020

   You haven't met the right person for you. I do not support the view that monogamy is a myth. Not all people should be put under a common denominator - there are different people. There are many men who find a mate and are not interested in other women. You just didn't find yours. Success!

4
all_vs_one answered · August 28, 2020

   One more thing - you've been with your girlfriend for three years, but you watch the others. Either you're not old enough to have a relationship or it doesn't give you something you need. It will be very interesting to imagine your girlfriend in the same situation - how she is with you, but looks at other men. I think the problem comes from the fact that there are too many stupid people who don't know what they want.

5
its_julie answered · August 29, 2020

   Listen, this is perfectly normal, and I am like that, I have acquaintances who are like that, who tells you that he did not want to see another lie! Dig in the net for these massage studios, as well as for various ladies offering company. I guarantee you that this is like a stimulating injection for your relationship, and sex will revive you. Think about it, I'm not talking to you - I'm talking from experience.

6
officialrcti answered · August 29, 2020

   I have been in a relationship for a long time, but before and now I look at women in a different way, the first thing for me is to fall in love with kissing, etc. If it's in slings, my sexual fantasies come and I don't want to cheat, because I get my variety from my girlfriend and it feels like I'm with different people, I'm not one of the complexes where I can throw myself at everyone, I have taste and dignity. If you love her, watch, but don't throw yourself ... Who knows what you won't get if you have sex with someone casual, and such under the road and over the road. If you have a decent girlfriend, don't hurt her, because the next one can give it back to you

7
aylin_gold answered · August 30, 2020

   Some like 5 talk complete nonsense. What does monogamy mean is not a myth? Monogamy means having sex with only one person. The author is monogamous because he does not cheat. Here we are talking about simple sexual attraction. There is hardly an emotionally and mentally healthy person (as long as he is not asexual), even if he has been engaged for 100 years and has found the right person to see a person beautiful by his standards and orientation and at least not to tremble a little. inside. If we were completely deprived of this feeling, we would not be in a hurry at all. I have been married with a child for years, I can definitely say that I am one of the few people who have found true love. We have been through hell, but we have kept our faith and love. I have never cheated in any form, nor do I intend to ever do so. I am convinced that my wife never did it and would not do it. However, when I see a beautiful and sexy woman, I can't help but admire her. My wife is sometimes also impressed by handsome men. But this has never been a problem for us, because we have full confidence. We even share exactly who we like, what exactly we like about them and why. There is not a gram of jealousy, I even like that it is sincere, because it is clear to me that this is nature and you cannot be indifferent. However, we are not talking about infidelity, but only staring. This makes us better understand what the other likes and thus adapt even more to each other, which reflects well while we are under the covers. because we have full confidence. We even share exactly who we like, what exactly we like about them and why. There is not a gram of jealousy, I even like that it is sincere, because it is clear to me that this is nature and you cannot be indifferent. However, we are not talking about infidelity, but only staring. This makes us better understand what the other likes and so we adapt even more to each other, which reflects well while we are under the covers. because we have full confidence. We even share exactly who we like, what exactly we like about them and why. There is not a gram of jealousy, I even like that it is sincere, because it is clear to me that this is nature and you cannot be indifferent. However, we are not talking about infidelity, but only staring. This makes us better understand what the other likes and thus adapt even more to each other, which reflects well while we are under the covers.