I don't know how and where to start. At 16 I am, my family is wealthy, engaged in a successful private business. I've been shy and shy for as long as I can remember. Not that I'm quite like an outsider, but I'm not a talker - when I'm not asked, I don't talk. So far I have not seen any problem, but the other day I realized that silence is not always gold. Well, on the day in question we had guests - a friendly family of ours, which, as far as I understand, also had a business. In general, everything seemed perfectly normal. It turned out that their husbands had a son, whom I only found out about when I saw him at home. We met, it turned out that he was 20 years old. In general, I was very nice, we talked a little and in the end I found it very pleasant. Then, after dinner, the boy in question sat down next to me and, to my surprise, pulled me close and hugged me, as if we were a couple in love in front of our parents. But the most shocking thing was that none of them said anything! Everyone saw how he hugged me most brazenly, as if he had "ordered" me for the evening, but no one said anything, everyone behaved as if this was completely normal. I stood in bewilderment for a few moments, and only then did I somehow manage to pull back and get up. Then my father turned and asked me, "Where are you going?" I could tell from his tone that he was not at all pleased with my action, which surprised me even more. I had the feeling that I was in someone else's house, with strangers. My father looked angry and then said something like, “Sit back, you're not going anywhere!” I was so startled that I didn't dare say anything and started to go back to the couch, but I wanted to sit away from the man. Yes, but instead of letting me pass him, he took my hand and pulled me to him again, and a moment later I found myself on his lap. I was terribly uncomfortable, I wanted to jump and run away from the room without asking anyone, but I did not dare, because I knew that there would be big quarrels at home because I would expose my parents to the guests. Yes, but that was not the end. He began to touch me. He opened my neck and began to touch me, then fiddled with the neckline of my blouse, and none of the adults were impressed. (They watched TV and talked and only looked at us from time to time.) I felt like a slave with whom the "guest" could do whatever he wanted. Honestly, on the one hand, I liked that man touching me, but in the end I have dignity too, and I did not enjoy being treated like a puppet. During the half-hour I was literally in his arms, I was stiff with terror. I could neither move nor say anything. I just really got a lot. I felt even worse that my parents didn't do anything. I know that there are worse parents who abandon their children without blinking an eye. I appreciate that my parents still take care of me, but somehow I can't swallow it ... But perhaps the most striking thing came when the guests left. I didn't want to be fooled, so I admitted to myself that I really liked that man. I liked him when we met and maybe it hurt me so much precisely because then things developed in this abnormal way. Then I couldn't sleep all night and I wondered why things happened that way, if I had said or done something wrong? The next day I tried to ask my mother in a roundabout way why things happened like that yesterday, and she, as if nothing strange had happened, said something like: "Hey, you can't look at a boy ..." As far as I understood the family will come to visit us again or we will go to them. (I didn't understand exactly.) I'm afraid it'll happen again that night because I keep thinking about that boy, and I realize I liked him more than I thought, you know, brown hair, green eyes. I don't want to repeat myself that night, but I also don't want to embarrass my parents. Please give me advice on how to proceed next time. I can't think of anything as I told you, I am very shy and that is why I did not dare to say anything. I hope you can help me. Thanks in advance.
Answers 9
Sounds fictional to me. My parents will not allow some unknown fool, whose name I don't even know, to touch me as if I were his mistress.
No, your family treats you like this young man's future wife, you can be sure. They want to let him like you and you like him. Everything happened in front of them and they were calm because they decided it was right for you. If you like each other for your parents, it means that at this stage you can be friends, and after a few years why not spouses.
As you describe it, your parents do not seem to have "Bulgarian" traditions, but a little more ... "southern" ... my condolences.
If the story is true, you should insist on talking to yours and asking for an explanation for their behavior. It is possible that yours are financially dependent on the other family and have agreed to be with their son in order to strengthen the relationship. Similar to arranged marriages in some countries. Which, of course, is pretty disgusting ...
Isn't "successful business" "picking up a jigsaw puzzle" or patching up "decent Muslim women" before their marriage?
Don't you feel like they want to mate you? Apparently they chose him for your fiancé and he is testing you. If you are not a Muslim, they still have this custom of getting engaged in advance.
You are either free or real! You choose. People die for freedom, so it is more expensive than money, friends and even parents.
Girl, it's my fault. Just say, I don't like it, no, I don't want this or anything like that. It doesn't mean that when you like someone you have to let them do everything, especially when you see them for the first time. Don't blame your parents, they may have thought you liked it and didn't want to confuse you. You just had to pull your arm or his arm and sit next to him normally, if that didn't help you could pull him aside and tell him you didn't like the attitude or something.
Most likely, your parents have plans to bring you together. In the 21st century, forcing someone to marry for business interests is great nonsense, but at least that's what it looks like to me. Apparently your parents have common business plans and have decided that it will be great for their business if they become related ... crazy work! But I've heard of several such arranged "business" marriages and let me tell you the young are not happy at all. So research things and if I'm right, make it clear to yours that you are not a bargaining chip and you will not sacrifice for their business. It will probably be a big quarrel, but if you agree you will be sorry! I don't know if I'm right, but that's exactly what it looks like to me. “Let’s introduce the kids so we can marry them in a few years.” The good news is that you’re only 16 and you’re unlikely to be forced to get married right away, so,