My parents have been together for more than 17 years, they have never cheated on each other and they have loved each other. Unfortunately, as we lived well over the years, my father started drinking brandy and eating salad every night, ostensibly for tone. In time, he started drinking half a bottle, then a whole, blowing music and arguing with my mother. His father died of alcoholism, and I don't know how he didn't startle him. Recently, the money began to decline dramatically and he went abroad. In the beginning he sent more money and my mother and I pampered ourselves and were happy. However, when he returned to Bulgaria, he raised scandals that we did not save anything and quarreled over money every day. He promised that he would send only for bills and that my mother would get the rest from her salary, which is not much. Ever since he returned abroad, he has constantly said that his employer is lying to him and not paying him, and my mother and I are wondering how to survive. The other day we were looking at each other on Facebook and he was in a pub, as always drunk, playing on the typewriters and saying that he slept for 4 hours, he looked awful, all swollen, tired and told mom that he wanted us to live together. , as before. Mom got angry and left the room, seeing him and refusing to go to him, even though it is a neighboring country of ours. She saw where his money was going, how he was drawing people, and we were exhausted and she seemed to be lying that they were not paying him. I have 1 year left to finish, and he wants me to take a break here, which will ruin my future. My mother can no longer tolerate drunken stories, a lot has changed, getting married was not like that.
She wants to change him, to take him to gatherings for alcohol addicts, but he refuses, saying that she is not a drunkard, and her mother is afraid that she may have a stroke because she has a weak heart. I'm afraid for my life, if something happens, there's no one to pay for my education, textbooks are expensive, and she's been talking about divorce lately, even though she loves him but doesn't want someone ruining herself next to her. She thought of telling him to startle her, but he would tell her to look after her work, and since she had a higher income, he would condemn her and take me to him to be a servant to the guests she draws and to soak in the pubs. . Please help me, how do I make him change, I scared him with something, I roared on my knees, he doesn't want to hear. He promises that there are no more and then I see bottles hidden in us, I am angry that he is working, he is not lazy, but he wastes his life. Should we move in with him and fail his school to start learning you first in a new language there, in order to control it or to abandon it and somehow get better? I love it, but it's not what I expected, I'm disappointed. What to do? I ask the editors to publish it, because we will burst with nerves and anxiety with my mother.
Answers 9
You better dump him, people like him have no fix. Most of all, you have to finish your education, you only have one year left. :) Then go abroad and find a lucrative job. :)
hello, shoot (if you don't know) when he's drunk - so several times and make a video of 10 minutes. Sometimes when he's free and NOT drunk - play the video. It must be felt. Of course, when you tell him that he has a problem with alcohol, he can't believe you ... he probably doesn't want to, it's not that easy, believe me, the only and easiest way is to show him what he looks like from the side - he is likely to realize Success!
If he dies of a stroke, there will be no one to pay for your education, because textbooks are expensive ... Your father has a wonderful daughter!
"In the beginning he sent more money and my mother and I pampered ourselves and we were happy. "So far, the work has become clear to me, I have not read the rest.
You seem to be only interested in his money ... ". In the beginning he sent more money and my mother and I pampered ourselves and we were happy", "I am afraid for my life, if something happens, there is no one to pay for my education, textbooks are expensive "," She saw where his money was going, how he was drawing people. I can't understand how you are "exhausted" when he hasn't stopped sending money, your mother works, you don't mention that you are many brothers and sisters ...? I think you are spoiled and ungrateful. But it's still a site for advice, and my e-tell your mother to find a better-paying job when she doesn't have enough money for pampering, and not to set you against your father while he's working. for.
Child over 10 years. he can only choose which of his 2 parents to stay with. And if you graduate soon, it means that you will soon turn 18. If it is something that is related to the heart, it is a heart attack, not a stroke. Better to divorce, but that's my opinion.
The fact that he earns more than your mother does not mean that in case of divorce you will be "sentenced" to him. You will stay with your mother, and he will pay alimony. Besides, if you are 14 years old, then you have the right to choose the guardian. In order for him to take you with him, even as a guest for a few days, your mother will have to sign a power of attorney for consent, if you are a minor. When you come of age, it depends on you, no one can force or forbid you. You don't change schools when you have a little left. Also, if you go to your father, ... he is obviously an alcoholic, when we add the other passion - gambling, then his life is already thrown in the trash, don't let him send yours there too. When you finish your secondary education, you will find a job and continue to study ... if you want. They do it a lot and do it, why don't you? !! He is not guided by his father's drunken nonsense, Well, look at the school and the future. It is better for both your mother and you to get divorced. Why should she ruin her life next to him. He made his choice without worrying that it was to your detriment. Your mother has the same right to happiness as you! Success!
"When they got married it wasn't like that." And where were you when they got married! ?? I don't think she was born yet! And even if you barely remember what it was like before, so don't be ridiculous! People don't change just like that. Your mother has chosen this man - she will be fine.
my opinion largely coincides with that of number 5 :-) with your mother you are interested mainly and mostly in the money that your father sent you and since the faucet is reduced, it is the blackest in the world. look at things from his point of view: he trembles and works abroad to send you money, and you and your mother spend on pampering. is the man is fed up and in this respect I understand him. I do not justify his drunkenness, but apparently this is his way of escaping the situation. now you ask how you will pay for your textbooks. and why didn't you and your mother save instead of spending nonsense? from what is written it is clear how your mother sets you against him: he will take you in, he will not finish school and you will be a servant to his guests. this is complete nonsense - they have already written to you how things are. it's just that if your mother divorces, she'll have to do without the money he sends, which doesn't suit her, because she obviously wants you to pamper yourself again with the money your father earns. you sound mercantile and far from a loving daughter who worries about her father. I think it's best to separate. F42