Hello, I want to share my story with you. I'm 24, almost 25, I have a supposedly serious relationship with a 30-year-old woman. we have been together for 4 years now. We met in our previous work, say we have known each other for 5 years. Before we left we had a serious relationship, but it was just sex and fun. For these 5 years. things have changed a lot, but generally in a good direction. We have stable and secure jobs, education all 6 in this direction. At the beginning of the relationship we got pregnant unplanned and had to have an abortion, things went well, we both dealt with it, whoever experienced it knows what it's about ... she and I live with our parents, but things are not going in that direction. She is a very difficult character loves to be her absolutely always even if it is wrong, very strong, she is able to inflict pain on herself to lose a loved one, but to become hers. In her previous relationships, the key moment for the separation was the fact of creating a family and children, she always ran away from it. When it comes to these things again, he avoids talking. I don't know what to do, maybe some people weren't created to have children and families of the opposite sex Our relationship is not what I expected and I want it to be, she knows it, she also knows that it bothers me and I want things to develop in a certain direction, but ... obviously she has no intentions. Some ideas, thoughts, thoughts what is wrong and how it can be corrected, if it can, if not health, in the end women in Bulgaria are more than men, I will always find someone to tolerate me. Greetings and Thanks for your time. but to become hers. In her previous relationships, the key moment for the separation was the fact of creating a family and children, she always ran away from it. When it comes to these things again, he avoids talking. I don't know what to do, maybe some people weren't created to have children and families of the opposite sex? Our relationship is not what I expected and I want it to be, she knows it, she also knows that it bothers me and I want things to develop in a certain direction, but ... obviously she has no intentions. Some ideas, thoughts, thoughts what is wrong and how it can be corrected, if it can, if not health, in the end women in Bulgaria are more than men, I will always find someone to tolerate me. Greetings and Thanks for your time. but to become hers. In her previous relationships, the key moment for the separation was the fact of creating a family and children, she always ran away from it. When it comes to these things again, he avoids talking. I don't know what to do, maybe some people weren't created to have children and families of the opposite sex? Our relationship is not what I expected and I want it to be, she knows it, she also knows that it bothers me and I want things to develop in a certain direction, but ... obviously she has no intentions. Some ideas, thoughts, thoughts what is wrong and how it can be corrected, if it can, if not health, in the end women in Bulgaria are more than men, I will always find someone to tolerate me. Greetings and Thanks for your time. When it comes to these things again, he avoids talking. I don't know what to do, maybe some people weren't created to have children and families of the opposite sex? Our relationship is not what I expected and I want it to be, she knows it, she also knows that it bothers me and I want things to develop in a certain direction, but ... obviously she has no intentions. Some ideas, thoughts, thoughts what is wrong and how it can be corrected, if it can, if not health, in the end women in Bulgaria are more than men, I will always find someone to tolerate me. Greetings and Thanks for your time. When it comes to these things again, he avoids talking. I don't know what to do, maybe some people weren't created to have children and families of the opposite sex? Our relationship is not what I expected and I want it to be, she knows it, she also knows that it bothers me and I want things to develop in a certain direction, but ... obviously she has no intentions. Some ideas, thoughts, thoughts what is wrong and how it can be corrected, if it can, if not health, in the end women in Bulgaria are more than men, I will always find someone to tolerate me. Greetings and Thanks for your time. that this bothers me and I want things to develop in a certain direction in general, but ... obviously she has no intentions. Some ideas, thoughts, thoughts what is wrong and how it can be corrected, if it can, if not health, in the end women in Bulgaria are more than men, I will always find someone to tolerate me. Greetings and Thanks for your time. that this bothers me and I want things to develop in a certain direction in general, but ... obviously she has no intentions. Some ideas, thoughts, thoughts what is wrong and how it can be corrected, if it can, if not health, in the end women in Bulgaria are more than men, I will always find someone to tolerate me. Greetings and Thanks for your time.
Answers 42
I think she experienced something related to a child ... I don't know. Why don't you ask her sometimes why she changes the subject and she doesn't want to. There must be a reason.
If you've been together for four years, I guess you know her well. I think that's how smart she is. She probably prefers to live carefree, to go to malls, to restaurants, on vacations .... If she is 30 years old and does not want children, to have, this is not a woman ... Every girl is 21-22 years old he begins to feel a maternal instinct. Conscientious girls, after completing their education and if they have a relationship with a person with whom they get along, always have a desire to start a family and have children aged 22-27, for example. When I was 21 I had a relationship with a wonderful 19 year old girl from a very good family. She told me back then that she wanted to have children. For a boy, it is a little early at 21 to become a father that he has not yet set foot on, but at 24-25-26 why not, it is even very nice. I broke up with her 5 months ago. Now I'm 23 and for a while I was dating a girl of 28. Well, what can I tell you - a complex with pretensions, beautiful, but no one to look at her because of her character. So there are countless girls. Leave this one. Even if something happens, don't expect to be a happy family.
Admiration for your girlfriend - this is one of the few women who do not fall for easy prey and do not comply with men - is also a woman and I would do the same to you, but I just will not give the secret recipe. A joker - in the past she saw that you are not suitable for a family, so she can be with you for another 30 years and will never give you the opportunity to catch her in a tight noose :)
Idea (singular), ideI (plural). Do you keep in touch just to be "tolerated"? I ask because it is felt. And if so, I will not want children from such a man.
Hello Friend! Powerful people MUST BE IMPOSED ON RULES! Because they are so used to it! If she's a fucking egoist, she'll stay that way. My advice - FIGHT! IT IS NECESSARY! ANNOUNCE EVERYTHING YOU NEED! Fight it if you want to be complete. If you fail - let her swim in the piranha trough!
This obviously won't happen. And you really seem to be in a bit of a hurry - get up at 31-33 years old, catch someone 1-2-3 years younger than you, but still be around 30 and then act. Do you live with your parents ?! Oh my! From this position I can safely say that you have no idea what it means to live together with someone. Haven't you lived alone with someone for at least 2 years - you can't even say if you could "grind flour" together or not!
Honestly, I do not understand women who do not want stability and children. Not to mention that there is no longer much time to think. It seems to me that the difference in your age can be a problem. I just knew several such couples in which the man was younger (including my parents). Usually everything is wonderful for a long time and finally, when it comes to marriage and children, the man finds himself younger. It seems that only after the relationship deepens do men think and find that they have made a mistake and missed something in life. It may worry your girlfriend, she may not believe that something more stable will happen between you. My advice - go straight. You want marriage - he proposed and it was his turn - with a ring, flowers, a romantic atmosphere. After all, this is how it is done, if you really love the woman - you want to surprise and make her happy, without consulting too much in advance. If it doesn't melt away from your proposal, then at least there will be a precondition for a very serious and frank conversation (I guess). For example, I dreamed about this - to propose to me surprisingly, like the movies. I have always believed that a man should take the initiative and show a woman that she is special, despite all the modern trends and emancipatory ideas. It may be frustrating, but at least you'll clarify your relationship to a great extent. G30 despite all modern trends and emancipatory ideas. It may be frustrating, but at least you will clarify your relationship to a great extent. G30 despite all modern trends and emancipatory ideas. It may be frustrating, but at least you will clarify your relationship to a great extent. G30
They have already advised you correctly about one thing: Get over 30-35 and then think about family. Not for nothing, but before my eyes 90% of the marriages at whose weddings I played broke up, just because being too early has prevented a mature and conscious family life. Second, this is not for you. He's hiding something that's so personal he doesn't even want to tell you. She probably likes good sex with you, she probably likes your appearance, but she has no serious intentions towards you.
"She is a very difficult character, she loves to be hers absolutely always, even if it is wrong, she is very strong, she is able to inflict pain on herself to lose a loved one, but to become hers." - leave while it's time, when 25 is pregnant and does not want to give birth to him, this is not a woman. When will she give birth when she turns 50? Either she is a careerist, or she is a child hater, hardly because of her figure. Let her shake her head, find a hrisima woman so that your house is peaceful.
I think before you want a child and offer to live together .. see if you get up or not .. if she likes life with you in time she will ask for it but so everyone can not go home ... I am my husband I only met him when we got together to live together like he met me .. we learned to take care of each other and smoothed out the differences .. go through this stage first so that you don't regret then that you were in a hurry ...
It is normal not to want children. Think about how much money will go to raising children. You will lose many amenities.
Find one, she obviously won't really want children from you or anyone else. Find a woman who has your views on life, tell yours that you will be with her if she meets your feelings, if not, change her and find a good loving wife and mother for your children, look for someone with nice features and genes, to love and listen to you, and those who are always nervous and do not know what they want, well, you do not have to wait for a generation of her, your other things, as far as I understood from the above, are also not pink. Won't the dormitory help your problem, at least for now?
There are such women. I remember two who are 37 and 42, do not have children and it seems to me that soon they will not have. Educated, intelligent, more or less successful, they had different partners. Apparently they like a freer life. It is not said that everyone should have children. This is a great responsibility, commitment. If you are not completely sure, it will be a burden and you will not give them everything they need, from which they will only suffer.
Author, listen to number 9 and pursue your dreams. There is no need for you to suffer because of unambitious people. If you feel ripe for a healthy relationship and want children, what could be better than that. A child will give full meaning to your life, make you a more responsible person and fill your days with light. There are so many women who want the same thing - find her !!!
you are not for each other and she understands it
there may be no children for physiological reasons, due to abortion women's eggs grow to 35 years, by then at least one child must have given birth, otherwise there are problems - in vitro, critical, etc. at birth in nature, a maternal instinct is obtained, as soon as you live with your parents, you don't have money to raise children, you kind of look for security and stability
About the comment on рецеп3 The Secret Recipe? How to stay an old maid? I don't think it's a big secret. And this secret was revealed to you: you have been stubborn for 30 years with 1 man and at 60 you can be proud of your achievements. I just don't know what exactly the profit will be from the whole thing, this is already the real secret. Since when do men trap women through children? I thought it was usually the opposite. The author is one of the few men who think they want a family.
I'm sorry, but comments like "if she doesn't think about family and doesn't want children, she's not a woman" sound very narrow-minded. A man can feel good without having children, a traditional family, etc. Every woman has the right to decide whether to give birth or not. Your girlfriend, author, may just not want to have children, have other goals in life, and that, in my opinion, doesn't make her less of a woman or less of a man. If you want children and she doesn't, the solution is simple - separate and each in his own way. Success xperia
But you are all very dumb! So you are a woman, you must dream only to take care of children, right !? Someone said that it is normal at the age of 22 to have a maternal instinct ... but what are these outdated understandings people !? I'm 25 and I definitely don't dream of babies yet. The author's friend has probably not yet made a living and does not want to start a family and children because she knows very well that this will put her life in the background and she will have to deal primarily with children. Author, either wait for her for a few more years - until then she can go on another wave, or leave her and find a woman who is ready and WANTS to start a family. Because at this stage your boyfriend will not curl up and beauty does not happen by force ...
For those of you who said above that children are just a big commitment - you what you want, the freedom to go to discos until midnight, a selfish life and everything to be for you. There is no greater meaning than children, when you become parents you will realize it!
some people are just not born to be parents .. and if you don't carry this thing with you, is it better to emotionally cripple your child because of your complexes .. and on number 16 I can tell him to read a little more in uncle google and not be so limited .. I have a colleague who gave birth to a healthy and beautiful child at 43 .. where are 35 where are 43 .. let's not be so limited and not speak unprepared
Number 16 - how do you think children are born - I will not quote you, read for yourself what you wrote. It's a shame to talk like that.
For me, the author is in a hurry unjustifiably. If he really wants a child to be able to provide a happy and peaceful life, he must first make sure that it is the woman. The two did not even live together, which is not serious. One of the most positive changes in modern society compared to the past, in my opinion, is the perception of cohabitation before marriage. It is very different to go out with someone for a few hours and go home to your parents than to live together, take care of the budget, family responsibilities, etc. Inevitably, this is how all the negative qualities and habits of the other are seen, which can lead to a change in the relationship. There was a saying about love - that it withstands storms and hurricanes, but dies because of the forgotten open cap of toothpaste.
I think your lady author is right. You want a family / children, and what did you provide for them, what did you start providing? You still live with your parents, you have not achieved anything of your own, although you have stable and secure jobs. Where will the new family you want to create live? Will you be able to withstand the strain while she is a mother, both to pay for accommodation and to support her and the child / children? And then buy a home. It is true that the lady next to you does not want children because of her beliefs, but the children do not become as planned as you think. After all, you once refused to be the father of her child, I hope you accompanied her at least during the abortion. Chances are many, now I have an idea that maybe because of the abortion, she can no longer have children and has not shared with you, and she is afraid to share with you so as not to lose you. What did you do to know exactly what's on her mind? Marriage-surprise in a romantic place-did you propose? Yes, plans for a family are made by two people, but it is customary for a man to take the first step in these moments. In your place, I would organize something romantic, where I would propose marriage to her, as soon as you get married, to think of children. So I want a child, now I want it, it didn't work out anywhere.
number 26 where most people like you were .. you wrote a lot of real things .. in cohabitation is the truth .. then in fact you can see who is what and what he holds .. then many lessons are learned and done so many more compromises then it is clear whether it will be or not ..
Your girlfriend is afraid of commitment. She will remember in 5 years, but it will be too late! I myself am 30 years old and so far we have postponed the children - there were more and more important things - first studying, then work, and now we are building our own home ... but finally this year there will be a wedding and it will start with making children, because the clock is ticking for a woman. Otherwise, you have nothing to worry about - as a man you can have children at the age of 50, but not with her! You waste your time if you want, but if you want a normal relationship to live in and together (shame on 30 people to live in their children's rooms!) In which to create a normal family - well, run away from this woman. She made her choice, but so did you!
I know her, her name is Iliana Vukova.
Author, most likely for some reason he thinks that you are not suitable for children. I live with a wonderful man who throws something for children from the rain to the wind - yes, but this wonderful man does not help me at home with anything, he himself, no matter how many other qualities he possesses, requires care as a child (eating is on the table, his clothes are ready, he doesn't even make a coffee himself). I took a puppy to test it - they weren't cores, that the dog whimpered, that it peed somewhere, and if it wasn't fun and there were scandals, it even wanted us to throw the puppy away. She already loves him a lot, but that doesn't change the fact that she doesn't take care of his needs, she just enjoys it. So what kind of children with such an attitude? !! Well, my thought was, think about where you went wrong. As for the other - it is very unhealthy to start a family with someone you have not lived with.
Author, I think I can understand your girlfriend. Apparently she is just an intelligent young lady who thinks about the consequences before taking an irreversible step. There are too many women who give birth without thinking and then roar, and the children take it away. In order to want to give birth, a woman must feel safe. You still live with your parents - why haven't you taken steps to try to separate? This is a real test of the relationship, if you live together alone, it may turn out that you are completely incompatible. It is one thing to go out with someone and stay under one roof for a maximum of two days, it is quite another to be in your house and face difficulties and everyday life together. I guess she realizes that. A child cannot be born without a stable home. Having a child is a big responsibility - it's one thing to do something stupid and ruin your own life, it's another to ruin that of an innocent child - one has to be sure that he really wants it before taking such a step, and that his partner will not abandon him at the first difficulty and will provide the necessary support. And no, we haven't been in the Middle Ages for a long time, and if a 19-year-old girl's only dream is to get married and give birth (as there were comments), it's obviously a very limited girl. Many marriages break up precisely because of such hasty decisions. A child should not be born just because people expect it of you - a child is born when you are internally sure that this is really what you want and that you can provide him with the love and environment he needs to grow up. F33 it is different when you ruin that of an innocent child - one must be sure that he really wants this before taking such a step, and that his partner will not abandon him at the first difficulty and will provide the necessary support. And no, we haven't been in the Middle Ages for a long time, and if a 19-year-old girl's only dream is to get married and give birth (as there were comments), that's obviously a very limited girl. Many marriages break up precisely because of such hasty decisions. A child should not be born just because people expect it to be - a child is born when you are internally sure that this is really what you want and that you can provide him with the love and environment he needs to grow up. F33 it's different when you ruin that of an innocent child - one must be sure that he really wants this before taking such a step, and that his partner will not abandon him at the first difficulty and will provide the necessary support. And no, we haven't been in the Middle Ages for a long time, and if a 19-year-old girl's only dream is to get married and give birth (as there were comments), it's obviously a very limited girl. Many marriages break up precisely because of such hasty decisions. A child should not be born just because people expect it of you - a child is born when you are internally sure that this is really what you want and that you can provide him with the love and environment he needs to grow up. F33 And no, we haven't been in the Middle Ages for a long time, and if a 19-year-old girl's only dream is to get married and give birth (as there were comments), it's obviously a very limited girl. Many marriages break up precisely because of such hasty decisions. A child should not be born just because people expect it of you - a child is born when you are internally sure that this is really what you want and that you can provide him with the love and environment he needs to grow up. F33 And no, we haven't been in the Middle Ages for a long time, and if a 19-year-old girl's only dream is to get married and give birth (as there were comments), it's obviously a very limited girl. Many marriages break up precisely because of such hasty decisions. A child should not be born just because people expect it of you - a child is born when you are internally sure that this is really what you want and that you can provide him with the love and environment he needs to grow up. F33 that this is really what you want and that you can provide him with the love and environment he needs to grow up. F33 that this is really what you want and that you can provide him with the love and environment he needs to grow up. F33
My opinion: -first, she does not accept you as sufficient, for one reason or another, you never said how you feel about her, as a material or more spiritual person; Even more so if she is a dominant at heart or at least an oppositional type of character; / I had one, mani-run, but anyway / - things will become clear if you move to an apartment; and if you think that she may be one of those housewives who love at home the most, it is difficult to change the environment; - where will you personally take her, how will you provide her? Cheap accommodation or Good mother-in-law? - don't tell us if you talked about the future together or it just suits you to keep company in bed or for a coffee, a movie, a restaurant, a walk ... - keep in mind that this lady who is already leaning towards the "old girl" may there would be some personal dramas that you do not have the privilege and confidence to know; - do not forget, that no matter how sensible and mature you feel, you will always be a good boy to her, to whom she will never give the reins of her life, unless you grow old together and it becomes impossible for her to take care of herself, and you are still good at it. more; - And last but not least ... abe dude, did you think of breaking her at least a little to shake off this zombie poop, and also to check yourself and your chances? Who knows where your luck will come from! I wish you good luck and boldly forward, BUT first do something for your development. Raise funds and move out to live alone. A chick will land in such a nest as for you, do not turn her into a family martyr. and you are still good; - And last but not least ... abe dude, did you think of breaking her at least a little to shake off this zombie poop, and also to check yourself and your chances? Who knows where your luck will come from! I wish you good luck and boldly forward, BUT first do something for your development. Raise funds and move out to live alone. A chick will land in such a nest as for you, do not turn her into a family martyr. and you are still good; - And last but not least ... abe dude, did you think of breaking her at least a little to shake off this zombie poop, and also to check yourself and your chances? Who knows where your luck will come from! I wish you good luck and boldly forward, BUT first do something for your development. Raise funds and move out to live alone. A chick will land in such a nest as for you, do not turn her into a family martyr.
Author, from the very beginning, when you started your relationship and she only agreed to have sex, then your light should have been on. With women who go to bed on a first date and sleep like that for only one sex, a family is not made.
I have to tell you with great regret to dump her, because sooner or later she will dump you. As I listen to you, your story is my story. I went with a girl for 6 years. And while we were just a couple there is no problem. We got engaged last year. Living with me lasts exactly 3 months. I come home one day - I only found the ring on the table. She had no feelings for me. And so on. Then we met for a while. Just for sex. Until one day he finds another. Then he stopped paying attention to me at all. That's how he ruined a few years of my life. He doesn't even regret it. And the same thing will happen to you - sooner or later
From personal experience - change it
Author, what family, what child? Forgive me the more direct / even at times rude tone /, but. YOU ... you want to have a child, to have a family with this woman, and you haven't even moved out of your parents' house ?? 2 And you are 25 years old / / TWENTY-FIVE / years .... What can you offer this woman in this situation ???? to live with your parents? Is she of a serious age with a well-formed character ?? Or do you live with their / HORROR / Are you socially, financially secure? Don't be angry, but you don't look like that to me ... You are kind of materially NOT prepared for this responsible, important and decisive step in your life. A child is a huge responsibility and a serious expense ... You have to provide him with normal living conditions ... In this sense, the woman is right that she does not want to get pregnant by you ... have you given any sure signs? ,, that he can count on you in every respect / to be a support / ??? On the other hand, you obviously came across a domineering and more selfish woman / I was with one, she broke my heart some time ago and the result was besides the pain and humiliation that caused me to lose my best years / ... So. .. you are obviously in power, a relentless and selfish woman ... My advice is ... RUN AWAY FROM HER! You are still relatively young and you have a chance with another woman who would share your values and desires ... I will say something that you may be angry about Author: Your relationship with this woman is doomed / judging by what you wrote /. ... First, as I said above, at the moment you can't offer her anything but maybe quality sex / it's not small in itself, but it's not enough /. You don't say roughly what your income is ... You don't say why didn't you move out to live away from your parents' eyes .... At least he said, what is this woman you sleep with? Pragmatic or romantic-floating in the clouds ??? For children: As above, they wrote that YOU ARE STILL YOUNG, VERY YOUNG AND I WILL SAY IT - UNPREADY / socially, financially / for a child ... You do not have a separate home in which to move out to live, you have not even lived together. You are not / you have taken action, even if you move out ... This is the first thing you have to do, not what you were written above / to offer a break in a romantic atmosphere / ... Where will you take her will you take this woman? With your parents ???? The only thing you will achieve is a strained relationship with your wife and a bad family atmosphere. On the other hand, the 30-year-old woman herself, if he doesn't talk to you about children at all or doesn't like children / have you checked that? for example, how does he react to your friends' children, does he play with them, is he happy, does he love children at all ?? /, talk to her so that you can eat together, what are your plans for the near / foreseeable future / ??? Would she want a child from you? Shared house? I have the feeling that you don't even fully know the soul of the woman you're having sex with and you're in a relationship with ... I don't want to sound skeptical-pessimistic, but I don't think you're for each other .... You have no future ... as a man to a man, however, I tell you, BEFORE YOU GO TO TALK AND WANT A FAMILY AND A CHILD / CHILDREN, CREATE THE MANDATORY NORMAL CONDITIONS FOR THE LIFE OF THIS FAMILY, WILL YOU FIRST ... .. The first concrete step, which you should take / ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY / is to move out of your parents' home ... to live daily and constantly with your girlfriend .... to see how it goes ... at least within a calendar year ... It is very important (especially if you are going to get married) to understand in some way, can you rely on it in difficult times? The opposite is also important! Have you thought about how you look in her eyes? how does it perceive you? Can she count on you ??? For example, blinded by my first true love, too late / despite the presence of many indications and signs / I found out that MY EX-FRIEND, who wanted to become my wife / fortunately did NOT happen / - I CAN'T RELY! !! Compromises have always been made by me .... This is a woman who shouted and did not share the most ordinary things with me .... She hid a lot ... And for the children - it's not scary ... You can always have a child. the question is to create normal family and living conditions for him. And also with the right person ... That's why I sincerely wish you SUCCESS! To write how things developed!
Abe, you judged the author very quickly, he lived with his parents, respectively he had nothing to offer! Emmy, if his girlfriend doesn't want to live together, what's the point of him living alone? And the man wrote that he has an education and a stable job. I don't see what the problem is with them tomorrow, if he decides. There are a lot of people who pretend to be independent, but their apartment was bought by mom and dad, that they also pay their bills and give them pocket money. This is no independence.
Number 38 .. there is a very big difference between the independence in which you work, you live alone (even though your parents bought the house) you pay your bills, you have goals and self-confidence .. and the one who supposedly lives alone or with their parents they pay his bills, give him his pockets and fill his fridge .. I, as a 30-year-old woman, can't take the 2nd type seriously ..
Number 39, that's exactly what I wrote above. However, I do not see what confidence you can have with an apartment given by mom and dad. You will pay your bills with any work crookedly. And what is the difference between someone who lives with his parents, works and gets, say, a decent salary, but still can not afford to buy a home, and one who lives in a gift apartment, but takes a small salary and is spread the dust? Look at the other person, not the material, because money is made, but love is hard to find. A man who is really independent and has a good income does not care about the financial condition of his partner. He has already secured the material things, with her and without her. This applies to both men and women. The rest is pure interest. And because I was on the side of those who lived with my parents, with a not very high salary, I know very well what it is about. But now the same ones who pretended to be very important then break to call me. Not that they haven't moved an inch in their lives.
Number 39 .. and what 25-year-old from an average statistical family can afford to buy an apartment .. without going abroad, without getting involved with suspicious faces or selling drugs ... and without pulling mortgage that will return to retirement ... I do not know what are these young people who are fighting in the chest that they have an apartment and this is the basis for high self-esteem ..
There are many who have everything and do not want to have children, they are just used to it, they prefer to live their lives instead of raising children. Others I am referring to, it is better for their ladies to party and joke today with each other tomorrow and so at one point they knock thirty.
I am one of those people who also have a home on their own, a car and a relatively decent income ... BUT I don't want to have children ... At least at this stage of my life. Let's return to the essence of the topic: The fact that the couple in question does not live alone, and everyone with their parents, is an obstacle and a HUGE one ... These are hellish everyday life .... People, understand, it does not happen ... I think that there are a lot of factors that hinder this relationship / although I do not consider it doomed / ... The attitudes of the woman in this case are of real importance ... You know the saying, ".... A few months ago / January / I ended a short and seemingly strange relationship, which, however, brought me a lot of positive emotions .... I had a relationship with a woman from another city / she is from Plovdiv /, who has 3 / THREE / years older than me ... She is 1981. and I'm 84 ... We've known each other since 2011. Fluently. I liked her back then, but she made me feel reserved and cool. We hadn't seen each other for a long time, when I called her during a business trip to Plovdiv and offered to meet her. We went out several times ... I also told / at the second meeting / that I liked her very much and that I wanted to be with her ... The woman approached me in disbelief, but did not push me away ... When the business trip was over and I said that I would I come to see her if she wants to. That I want to be together more time ... And ... after two of my walks to Plovdiv it happened ... I was fully aware that despite the short distance it will be difficult ... I tried to be with her and I was with her on Saturday and Sunday and Wednesday .... The woman was then / when we started the relationship and we were intimate / 32 years old, and I was 29 years old /. I thought everything was doomed between us, because she approached me with great distrust. She came to me in Sofia, I went to her / she lives alone because she does not want to be with her parents at this age, which I admired / .... Seeing how serious I was in the second month of the relationship she started to trust me more and more. Despite the distance in age, although at first I may have seemed immature or inexperienced to her, we were both quite happy. Just to emphasize that we both have previous long and painfully ended relationships .... SHE came, saw my status, saw where and how I live ... It became clear that we have an excellent opportunity to get married ... To start a family. .. In her flash, I saw a woman who knows what she wants. She has attacked frivolous men next to her. She herself later explained to me the reasons for her cold attitude towards me. We both wanted a stable relationship ... I asked her to introduce me to her parents, which she did only in the 7th month since we started dating. So ... not to get carried away, in the end I wanted him to come and live with me ... There would be no problems with work, because we both found one. And quite comfortable. I really wanted him to come to me. I explained to her and proved my feelings with small gifts / holidays, flowers, perfumes, clothes, I gave as much money as she could and she bought things / ... Everything was great. We also got along in sex. It was great. Because I wasn't close to her every day of the week. In the days when I was with her we caught up, necessarily with a romantic dinner in a restaurant, a walk and kissing several times a day. I had never had such an absorption of sexual energy before. She saw that I did not want to use her. But ... the problem came when I asked her to come and live with me ... SHE literally told me this: I can't leave my parents, I can't be away from them. IN THE BEGINNING I DID NOT EXPECT SUCH A REACTION. I ALSO GAVE TIME, THINKING that I would change my will .... But it is adamant ... I also explained things from a purely domestic-financial aspect ... Traveling during the day or every day Sofia-Plovdiv-Sofia are expenses that they are not neglected .. Besides, I have a house in Sofia where I live alone ... In Plovdiv it is rented ... I can't move to Plovdiv because I don't know when and how I will find a job. But there is another problem ... where will we live in Plovdiv? To the apartment ??? As a nomad, provided I have a well-arranged and furnished home. Or with her parents ??? I explained these things, as well as the fact that I do not have the financial ability to buy a home in Plovdiv at the moment ... She explained that she could not be separated from her parents and that she cared for her elderly and sick grandmother. He also said that in no way did she want and would not allow her to leave Plovdiv ... In this situation, I prayed, explained to her, and she knew what my financial situation was and that there was no logic in what she was doing. offers ... That it is best to live together in Sofia. Plovdiv is not far. She will go to her parents every Saturday and Sunday ... I also explained that I can't live so apart from her ... That I'm even jealous of her, what and with whom she does on the other days of the week when we're not together . She told me that it was time to take a break from each other .... so in December we parted briefly / less than ten days /, I looked for her again, with flowers, with a romantic dinner with an apology from me / although I had nothing to apologize for / and we left again. We spent the New Year together and that gave me hope. , I begged her to come and live with me, hoping that she, too, longs deep inside for a family ... In all my actions before her, I was serious and stable. He could trust me. I did not pose. However, she was categorical - she should not be far from her parents in Plovdiv ... When I asked her, doesn't she like my home? I also said that if she wants, let her make repairs and arrangement, whatever she wants according to her taste .... She answered that this is not the problem ... That she does not want to live in Sofia ... I asked her directly, is there a parallel connection? Why is he playing me? Is there another man? She always denied, and did not give me cause for doubt / which of course does not exclude the possibility of such a relationship /. In the end, I just realized that this woman doesn't want to compromise for the sake of the man next to her, but at the same time demands one. Besides, what she offered just didn't make sense. Even on the purely financial side of the issue. In this situation, this time I left. Upset and sad, but I left and I haven't called her in almost four months and she hasn't been looking for me. I am sorry for this relationship, because we are both mature enough, suffering and aware of ourselves .... Even in love there must be a small dose of realism. What SHE wanted from me was not only pointless, but also illogical. I told this story because above in the comments, someone mentioned that there are people who do not want to live apart from their parents ... I do not understand that .... That is why I mentioned my case .. So, in summary ,, If the girlfriend of the 30-year-old does not want to live alone with him / either in an apartment, because he bought a mortgage loan /, I advise the person not to place high hopes and to end the relationship in time. Because at the age of 30 the character is already formed, there is no way I can change a person .... I have personally experienced it ... So a woman a little older than me did not give a chance to an otherwise very good relationship in which understanding, sex, the variety of emotions were on a level ... She didn't want to give a chance, just because she didn't want to get rid of the habit.
Number 44, you say that she was not ready to compromise, but from what I have written it is clear that you were not ready. If she really cared for a sick grandmother or sick parents, what, to let them die? You could have lived together in a flat in Plovdiv for a while and if things worked out, you could sell your apartment and use the money to buy one in Plovdiv.
I can't agree with some of the comments here that a woman who doesn't want children at 30 is not a woman. Maybe she just DOESN'T WANT CHILDREN FROM YOU AND DON'T IMAGINE LIFE WITH YOU, and you're just company for her because she hasn't found the right man for her. Maybe you're not her type of man!