Hello! I have a relationship with a woman who I think is an alcoholic! At first I knew he was drinking but I had no idea how disastrous that would be for our relationship. We have been together for 3 years, in the beginning it was moderate, over time it started to relax and get drunk sometimes to the point of unconsciousness, it becomes irritable, why did I avoid it and isn't it attractive to me? Why? It ruined all the vacations we went to, scandals in public places, falling rolling in the streets. I tried to talk about the problem but I didn't understand anything they all drank one after work! He started drinking secretly in small quantities but regularly, I find bottles hidden all over the house, I tried to talk again but it didn't work! These cracks pushed me away and alienated me over time! I don't think I have the strength to keep suffering?
Answers 9
Bass, it's like I wrote it. At least mine admits she's an alcoholic. But it pours again. There are no fixes.
How old is? Since when does he drink? Why drink? If you do not know the answers to the last two questions - ask her, let her tell you, you just listen without judging her. If she realizes that her drinking is problematic (interferes with her life), then - she must stop, if she does not realize - let her realize, only a person who wants help is helped. If you write me the answers to my questions, I will tell you more. It is very important not to focus on you, but on her, she has a problem, it will be a problem for her in the future, whether you are together, focusing on her, you show that you care about her above all, your relationship is secondary. in this case, how you feel is also not important at the moment. Neither you nor your relationship should be used for motivation or argument.
And why are you causing it? Are you sucking on her so you can't send her to fuck her? Or do you just love being in the role of the prince-savior? Hopeless work, friend! Alcohol and drugs do not forgive. I know that you love her and I'm sorry to tell you ... But I would not have children from such a woman ... One that there is a great chance that they will become like her, and the second that with almost 100% certainty I will are damaged in some way by their mother's drinking and cracking, even if she stops drinking permanently right now.
Alcoholism is a terrible disease that has shattered many human destinies and families. You have been together for a long time so we advise you to dump her. But if he has no desire to give up drinking and take his life in his hands, do not let him destroy yours. At least it will deteriorate healthily. Give her an example that cirrhosis is fatal. Tell her that alcohol destroys beauty and sucks youth out of a person. Is she working? How do you handle the cup at hand? Focus on how to help her but it will not be an easy task. So don't feel guilty if you let her handle her mess on her own. Not that it's very important, but can you mention your age?
It won't happen, brother. The woman next to you is addicted to alcohol and needs treatment. The best thing you can do for her is to leave her. He may be startled and do something about alcohol, even accepting a hospitalization option. Otherwise, all your life you are doomed to drunken outbursts and zero family happiness. Alcoholics do not change unless they go through many years of treatment, and even then it is difficult. I have lived with such a person and this is the only thing I can recommend to you. Leave her and tell her the reason. Then she went on with her life, ignoring her drunken outbursts and calls at 4 in the morning (and there will definitely be some). If she has a little wit, she will be fine and will be grateful to you in time. If not, then her life is hers and she would be the only person responsible for her fate.
He is 34 years old. I don't know when he drank, maybe in the beginning he was better at hiding! Yesterday there was another performance, he came home from his birthday, staggering and smearing everything (if you understand what I mean) I had plans for the weekend, but alas. I took my fishing rods and went fishing or to stay alone, the next day I went home and said that if this happened again he would not see me again! Her excuse was that she ate something spoiled :) according to her there is no problem with alcohol!
If she was just drinking, you wouldn't be writing here. Does he spend your money on casinos? Most drunken women do. The casinos stock up on supposedly free alcohol (the lowest quality). Does he come home early in the morning, do he sleep until noon?
There is almost no alcoholic who thinks and realizes that he has a problem with alcohol. Everyone thinks he can only decide and is immediately able to stop it. Hence the more difficult to deal with this scourge.
Once she thinks she has no problem with alcohol - ask yourself if you love her and are you able to try to show her that there is a problem. I don't know what the emotional intelligence of the two of you is, but your relationship depends on it, because of your approach and understanding of yourself.