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My Friend Is Lying To Me

By aVicky October 05, 2020 11 answers Last updated October 05, 2020

Hello, The story is as follows - my friend and I will soon do 3 years. together. We are from different cities and we have not been together all the time, but for 1 year. we live together. A few months ago I discovered that he was lying to me, and not as you might think - he just hides that he smokes! In fact, he hides it from everyone and said that he only smokes from time to time - to calm down! The first time I caught him, of course, he said that and also that he was gone! Not that it confuses me - it's his decision, but he continues! I caught him a second time and asked him again, "Why are you hiding something so pointless from me" Again, the same answer that he did not exactly hide, but simply did not announce it! But unlike when we are with them in the other city, he does not hide it, but says that he only smoked there! I recently discovered again that he had hidden a box! I didn't tell him anything! The next day I looked again and this time the box was new! He had bought it the same day! I didn't tell him anything again! Now I will wait to see how regularly he buys and one day I will talk to him! It is not a question of cigarettes as you understand, but of the fact that in a normal relationship like ours to hide something so meaningless is stupid! What's worse is that after he promises not to hide, he continues! I don't trust him as you can see! Does it make sense to talk to him, what to tell him? I have many things that I know I will tell him, but the question is what will happen next? I feel disappointed, offended, bitter, and now we dream of our own home !? How do I know that in the future he will not start lying to me about something more serious!?!? that in a normal relationship like ours, hiding something so pointless is stupid! What's worse is that after he promises not to hide, he continues! I don't trust him as you can see! Does it make sense to talk to him, what to tell him? I have many things I know I will tell him, but the question is then what will happen? I feel disappointed, offended, bitter, and now we dream of our own home !? How do I know that in the future he will not start lying to me about something more serious!?!? that in a normal relationship like ours, hiding something so pointless is stupid! What's worse is that after he promises not to hide, he continues! I don't trust him as you can see! Does it make sense to talk to him, what to tell him? I have many things that I know I will tell him, but the question is what will happen next? I feel disappointed, offended, bitter, and now we dream of our own home !? How do I know that in the future he will not start lying to me about something more serious!?!?

Answers 11

1
AllisonDollOne answered · October 05, 2020

   After smoking only when he is nervous, he just doesn't want to show weakness in front of you, men should be strong and not show that they are afraid!

2
adventurine_69 answered · October 05, 2020

   This is how you try to forgive and accept his lies. Today are the cigarettes, tomorrow will be for the salary - his boss allegedly cut it off just like that, etc. In my opinion, this is a childish act, he is not yet old enough to be responsible for his actions.

3
SexQueen answered · October 05, 2020

   Honey, it's better to smoke than to sleep other women, don't you think?

4
alvina1997 answered · October 05, 2020

   I know it's not something mega important and problematic, but isn't the loss of trust the main thing where we should try not to have a problem between the two ??

5
vinylz answered · October 05, 2020

   There is some reason to do it otherwise it makes no sense to hide! You just have to understand or he doesn't know why he does it !?

6
sheila_sim answered · October 05, 2020

   На номер3: Съгласна съм, че е по-добре да пуши отколкото да спи с други жени, то е ясно! На номер2: Също така съм съгласна, че е детинска постъпка и именно за това пиша тук! И наистина ме е страх че не може да отговаря за постъпките си, но нали за това съм до него, да помагам! На номер1: Вярно е че е много нервен и той казва това, че за да се успокоява, но сме се разбирали да не го крие, и казва че е малко, а той си пуши по кутия на ден почти! И го крие, просто усещам че не е нормално и че има нещо. Аз наистина съм силна личност и е възможно да е проблем за него, и това допускам - че му се натрупва. Страха го виждам в него и си говоря с него, знам че това е важно и постоянно говоря с него и мислих че има резултат, но след всичко, което правя и давам....да получа лъжа?!?! не мисля че е нормално! На номер5: Аз ли не разбирам и излишно се страхувам, незнам!?? И аз си мисля, че и той не знае, според мен може би просто му харесва или уж заради нервите! И аз мисля че трябва да има нещо иначе няма логика и това ме притеснява! Проблема е защо да ме лъже за "цигари" - всеки пуши и аз, но мога да се контролирам и не ми е цел в живота, просто от време на време, но наистина, а не както при него! То се вижда! Обичам го и той също вярвам, че ме обича. Имаме общи мечти, но когато се стигна до това - няколко пъти ми обещава нещо (в случая проблема е с цигарите) и не се държи адекватно на голям човек започвам да се притеснявам. Определено се плаша от факта, че допуска да не кажа лъже, но да крие?!! А и постоянно кашля, то е ясно дори и без да гледам кутията! В момента е напрегнат момент от живота му и през цялото време в себе си допускам, че е заради това, но в някои моменти просто страха надделява! Премести се при мен (даже с родителите ми) страшно! ;) разбираме се! Мечтаем за апартамент и имаме реални шансове, също кола и деца! Мечтата ми от дете, да намеря човека до себе си! Ами ако той намери някой ден в моите неща нещо, което знам, че не удобрява. Сподобна съм да измисля нещо, което да го извади извън нерви, но не ми е това целта! Искам с добро, не с лошо, с лошо няма да стане! Говоря с него за всичко и искам да каже, но наистина мъжкото его е много важно! Не искам да го тъпча, а просто нормално разбирателство, любов! истината! Моля Ви ако някой ме разбира какво търся или има вариант да даде идея нека каже, аз сериозно мисля на нещата, а не просто ей така! Ако някой иска нека остави мейлче, ще му пиша с радост! :))) Благодаря Ви!

7
reebokbrasilclassics answered · October 05, 2020

   Номер 3: след първата лъжа идва втората...така че ако не се сложи стопа навреме ще дойдат и другите жени. Това че цигарите вършат някаква работа да си по-спокоен/а, за нервите и т.н. е пълна глупост. Има друга причина. За цигарите само се дават пари, за да се дават после още повече за лекарства. Имаш един сериозен проблем - пушиш и ти. Спри и ще имаш коз в разговорите си с него. Ще му дадеш пример. Още повече докато можеш да се контролираш. Като мъж ще се постарая да ти помогна с каквото мога. Ако искаш ми пиши [email protected]

8
TemptingCoral answered · October 05, 2020

   You really need to talk seriously about this. You have the right to worry. It's not normal for him to twist like that for some cigarettes - you're not his parent after all. However, if you can check if there is no smoking complex from his parents. I have a girlfriend who still hides from her father as a student, and she is already 42 years old. and this is not normal. So first check to see if it's something like that.

9
vikimilff answered · October 05, 2020

   From the author: Yes, thank you, but unfortunately it is not a problem, he smokes when he is with his parents, they do not stress him, but accept him as a great independent person. I talked to him, but without forcing or embarrassing him, and "supposedly" by the way. I told him that I knew that he smoked constantly and that it was not a problem for me. I mentioned it like that while we were talking about something in this direction, without me provoking it, but casually. He denied it, but when I explained to him that I knew and didn't need to hide, because I was his wife, not his mother, sister, grandmother or something, he admitted that he had been smoking a lot lately and a lot of nerves. These weekends we went to theirs a little bit, he bought cigarettes without a problem, he smoked and I didn't sulk at him, I behaved like a big man and he seemed to be able to rest a little bit, or at least said he had recovered to 60%. I hope he doesn't continue to hide in the future, and I think he understands why and how I felt, if I don't try to show him how I feel, not just his. I hope. But I think the truth is that without conversations it doesn't work, no matter how much people say that sex is the most important thing ... the "X" question will remain. I hope things work out for the better! I wish it to everyone!

10
Kim-Jordan answered · October 05, 2020

   I think you should seriously sit down and talk. Explain to him that it is foolish to hide such a thing from you and tell him that I have to share everything with you because you are together in this already difficult life. Ask him out well if he is no longer absorbed in the connection. I wish you success!

11
lookin4swing answered · October 05, 2020

   Thanks, that's what I did and I hope it works out in the future.