Hello! I guess most of the comments will be insults, etc., but I still decided to share something. My boyfriend and I have been together for a long time, everything is great, he is behaving very well. I did not cheat on him, as he did on me (at least I did not understand about such a thing, and 90% of our free time we are together) The beautiful picture ends here (at least for me) As soon as we quarrel and I want him to leave starts to cry, the first time it was strange for a man to cry like that and I didn't tell him anything I started to be nice, I just felt sorry. And so every time we argue he cries, I cry too, but he cries more than me. I asked him why he was doing it (at first I thought he was doing it to take pity) he replied that he was very sensitive and could not imagine being without me. It's great to hear those words, but I don't know how to describe how I feel when he cries, I'm just embarrassed to look at him like that. You also know that sometimes when we argue with our partner, even if we are guilty, we do not admit it.
And in such cases he runs after my ass, begs me to forgive him, and there is nothing to do after I am guilty. I told him that this running sometimes suffocates me, but he is just like that on the subject of love. Sometimes I got angry with him and asked him why he was humiliated like that after he was not guilty, why he was praying to me for no reason and he replied that he loved me and that I was wrong. I want to say that all this is strange to me because I had a long-term relationship with a man who thought he was sinless, as well as terribly proud and always behaved much cooler. What do you think? Thanks for the people who have read my story and written a meaningful comment without insults. :)
Answers 15
Emi .. Isn't that your problem? One was - too proud and sinless, the other - hellishly roaring. You're absolutely right that it's annoying, but answer the question, "Do I really love him?" Because he'll hurt you a lot if you don't. I don't understand something from what you wrote - when we argue, I want to leave, and then you say you love him. Which also shows that you are indecisive. If you don't feel anything, just leave it. Are and success :) M, 36
You seem to have been to both opposites. A man who runs after a woman and trembles is no man at all. I think you will really feel like a woman with a man of hard and masculine character, respecting yourself and the woman next to you, not a slave. You would even feel better with someone crazy who doesn't respect you for anything than with such a roar. That if someone starts to take you down in front of him, he will roar for sure.
He is probably very much in love with you and you are the leader and ruler in your relationship, or he is very emotional, or he has some trauma from an old relationship and that is why he is so afraid of losing you.
Well, I'm the same as your friend, or at least I was before. He is really more sensitive and truly loves you. And this about crying is, to some extent, a model of upbringing. When a person has grown up in love and understanding, he values love and prefers to cry than to say words that would offend or harm you. Both are a kind of mental relief, but the difference is that when you insult by uttering attacks, you are defending your so-called dignity, and you are grieving the other. And when you cry, you still get the accumulated tension, but at your own expense. Because most people educate them on how to defend themselves and impose themselves while preserving this dignity, and they turn the relationship into a struggle for supremacy. In the end, a person makes his own choice in the relationship with the loved one - whether to nurture his dignity or to keep his love and understanding. But it is important to be able to correctly judge the person next to you, when to pretend to be an important and worthy person, when and for what to compromise and when to relax and be an ordinary person with strengths and weaknesses.
Horror :) and I had a friend like that years ago .... you won't last long.
I don't think you'll last long with him. No woman loves a man who is humiliated. One must have dignity. I would drop it, it's not male behavior. I've been with a similar one and I feel sick when I remember ....
You have no pleasure! If he was naughty - why is he nasty and cold. Now - why is he so attached .... It's not easy not to know what you want ...
After a long relationship with a cold man, you no longer see the beauty in the emotions and the magic of romance? This is very unfortunate. Emotions are a good thing, we have to enjoy them. I'm sure you'll be happier if he's happy and you don't make him show such emotions? I'm sure when he's happy you love him more? Then why don't you make him happy instead of unhappy?
She herself says she has ended it several times. Do you also give advice to strain more and more and more to make him happy? And whether she will be happy, whether she wants to be with him at all, whether the feelings are not gone .... Yes, it is true that for love a person fights and strains, but when it comes from within. And the girl is obviously already tired and cold, no feelings.
Well, girl, you don't know what you want there, it's your problem, it's not in him, it's in you. When we argue, I want to leave? If everyone left arguing that it would not have people tied up, there would be no families. You can't do that, you can't leave when it doesn't work out for you. You either love it or you don't have to finally understand what you want. Problems are solved by discussion, not by running away. If you don't love him, he just sleeps to play it, I think you only feel sorry for him, I can't believe you're together for a long time.
What are you like?! Aren't you different from him?!?! :)
Number 8, depends on the case of the boy - the information is very superficial for both of them. I, perhaps relying on my experience with a "roar", do not think it will take long, because she no longer (at first glance) does not tolerate his behavior. Let me tell you, my "roar" was a perfect gentleman: a man of ambition, smart and intelligent, hardworking, kind and kind to me, noticeably cool to most of those around him. Overall, a character that suited me perfectly. He did not cry in principle, he did not express his emotions in this way, but when it came to us, our feelings, our relationship, our future, past ... Roar and snot to heaven. Every small, insignificant quarrel ended in his tears. He came to the meeting crying because he was a few minutes late and I texted him like "Where are you?", Without angry people and things like that. There were tears in his eyes at the slightest remark on my part about something related to him or his action: for example, that he had taken not from his preferred coffee (a crazy but real example). And I'm not one of those nasty grumble people to say that my bad look and nasty tone make him cry. After each such scene, I corrected myself, not him. I finally realized that I could not be as soft as his character required, because he did not tolerate the slightest criticism from me. He really did everything to make me happy, but in order to make a difference, I had to assure him that he was not "nothing", but a wonderful person. This was my most difficult parting until that, even the present moment, because this man was at first glance strong, but in fact terribly unstable and so as not to hurt him "for life".
Hey, there's no adjusting to women. Being strong, cold, silent, he was not sensitive. Now he was very sensitive. I don't know exactly what the problem is here, but you have to find out for yourself what kind of man you like, and not complain about one or the other.
this person loves you, which is a rare phenomenon lately, think carefully not to regret it is unlikely to startle someone like him
Either he loves or he is a cunning manipulator who cannot afford to lose her. His fragile self-esteem will collapse, he will not tolerate his "failure" in front of friends and acquaintances ... He has found her weakness - she is sorry and if he presses this button in her. Everyone has to go through unrequited love. He must know the pain to know that he is alive.