Hello! My friend was raped when she was 14 (she is now 16 and I am 17). I'm the only person she told and trusted. She tells me that everything is fine now and she has experienced it. I love her very much and I've been sick for 3 months (as far as I know). I have a hard time falling asleep every night because I'm starting to think about it. I don't know what to do. When I ask her, she tells me that she doesn't know who she is and wants us to end the topic. She only told me that he was 22 and she was 14 (now he is 24) I also know his first name. I have a lot of connections with the police in the city where I live and if she tells me her last name, I can immediately find out who she is. I thought I would tell her parents, because if they know, she will tell them his names and we will find him and we will got what he deserved very quickly. I know that if I tell my parents and she will be very angry with me and she will not look at me again, but it will be for her good. I have a feeling she's afraid of theirs and anyone will find out, though she's not guilty. What to do, please help me with this.
Answers 37
You want to catch him to play almost a hero
You will not tell anyone !!! She trusted only you. How are you going to talk left and right now? !! Are you crazy? And to tell the police - there is no evidence. And tell her parents - there's nothing they can do. The only thing you can do is find the rapist yourself and beat him up. The girl has already experienced it, so as long as you raise the topic and bring it back to her unpleasant memories. Love her. Give her love and tenderness, let her forget this moment and sex become something beautiful and pleasant for her.
I don't think tell her parents, because she won't take it well and she may not talk to you anymore. Don't press me. Wait, be patient. The time will come, she will relax and you will delicately get more information about that plow. And that he should get what he deserves, he should. And as soon as you know who he is, do your best to get it. If you have to, beat him, but healthy, so that he doesn't get out of the hospital for 2 months. For such only fight where you see them. I hope he doesn't touch another girl.
If she says she overcame it (which is very unlikely), you better leave things at that or find a way to find him without interfering with other people, because she will really get angry and lose her.
I think you need to unravel the topic with her a bit and wind her up to tell theirs. If she says that he will get what he deserves, it will not be your fault, because if the guy in question has missed it once, he can afford it again. Make her speak properly and ask her to talk to theirs.
My advice is not to dig into this monola. She trusted you, she told you. You will hurt her more by telling her secret, which is quite painful, and I doubt you can even separate. Don't dig into names and dates, she may not be telling you the truth. It weighed on her, she said, now that if she decided to come up with names to get rid of your questions, would you go to justice? Live your life, you are still children. If you decide, you may not be together, especially if that fact worries you about her past. But this friend of yours deserves respect like any other woman you have decided is worth being with. Have a little mercy on the girl. If you inflate the issue, as you say, you have connections, you will discredit her in the small town and there will hardly ever be a normal connection after you.
You're a great little boy as you are already my advice is always be by her side
If YOU talk to her parents, you will give her trust and ... and I will give for her. Nothing can be done by the police anymore, they had to go immediately to be examined by a forensic doctor and to take samples for examination. Many girls / women, unfortunately, just "hide" and suffer alone. some even feel not only shame, but also guilt for what happened. If you betray her trust, it will be like another "emotional" rape for her. She needs a friend, be like that! And men, understand once and for all that a woman shares a problem with you does not mean that she expects you to solve it. We women talk because we need to share, if we want help, we will tell each other. That's how you force us not to share.
In general, rape and all other abuses and perversions appear in the minds of girls as sexual fantasies. So that...
I'm sorry and I really sympathize with you. You are on the right path, this person cannot get away with it, just beware - everything can be expected from such people, he can be armed, he thinks for himself! Above all, your girlfriend will want you to be well. If she doesn't want your parents to understand, don't cross that line, rather talk to her and explain why it's so important to tell theirs. Another option is to somehow find out who she is without interfering with her parents. As a child, there was a pedo * il who touched me and bothered me constantly. I was small and I didn't understand and I didn't tell anyone because I was ashamed. Now I understand that he did the same to another girl and they caught him. I wanted to say, yes, I was in her place, but I fell silent, embarrassed again. Well, it's hard to say it's on your back, so don't go through her word. Moreover, she is sensitive to this topic. I admire that you want to help her and take care of her. And he, he will get it, I hope from you ..
By no means tell theirs. Ask her to tell you his last name, but by no means tell them.
I don't think you should tell her parents, talk to her. It may take time, but I think she will tell you, because he still hurt her and I don't think he would mind being punished! :) If she told you, then she trusts you and you better not tell her parents.
She trusted you, so you better not tell her parents, but find another way. Or you can just discuss it with her. Also, don't take risks, an incident that happened 2 years ago will separate you, because it can perceive things differently and make you angry. You also don't know how the parents will react to her if they find out ...!
Dude, this really has to be done very delicately. She is afraid to tell another, because after that, she will be looked at with a different eye. But it is not right and nothing has been done. However, today she, tomorrow another girl may be in her place… If, you will say it should be very delicate and completely anonymous, to know as few people as possible and only people who need to know.
I hope I'm right - consider lying to you! She may have said it to get special attention from you. Sometimes girls at this age don't think much about the consequences. But it is really strange for a 14-year-old girl to experience it alone without help and to have a normal relationship. It is almost impossible! She would be insecure, distrustful, surely if you have a sex life, it will be difficult. She would fall into depressive states, etc. And it is even stranger how she does not know who he is, but knows his first name and age. As if she has experienced it, and suddenly out of nowhere she shares it with you and you are the first person to understand it. Talk to her first and if you are convinced you can talk to her parents, because if it is true she will need help, even if it is too late!
I think listen to the girl !! Don't make things worse if she doesn't want to!
Or maybe she just did it voluntarily with an older dad, and now she's trying to justify the fact that she's not a virgin by "rape"?
I will write to you on the female side, to a woman who was raped at the age of 15 and hid for years. Don't dig, your girlfriend has already accepted the fact, there is no sense in your "good", I mean "it will be for her good". And what good will you do her? You will tell your parents and a police officer that she was raped two years ago, without any evidence, your story will remain just a gossip of her secret. Rape is proven with body fluids, after two years there is no way to prove anything. Things will stay that way, only people will talk and more people will know. You pretend to be a great Samaritan, but if you are raped, it will be interesting how many people in your small town you want to know about it. Boy and ebony do not return, and the punishment for a rapist is from three to ten years, but they usually give three in case of proven rape.
We are very glamorous, men. Accept that she wants you to think that she wants to be only with you, respect her wish and so on. Even if he lies to you, you better not handle him. Don't you want him to say to you: 'I tried because I wanted to be big ...'?
Do not say!
Sooner or later he will say more about him. But definitely don't tell anyone, not her parents, not the police. Apart from bothering them unnecessarily and making her hate you, you will achieve nothing. Rather, find out who he is after she gives you more information one day and then makes it difficult to draw, but delicately and safely, without understanding who you are, if you have to pay a stranger for it to get the job done anonymously, because if she finds out, she can touch her again or you may get hurt. As for the police, they can't do anything because there is no evidence. This is impossible to prove after so long. Still, make sure it's true so that an innocent person doesn't get hurt, it's still a serious accusation, and you have to be sure. If you are accused of such a thing and beaten without doing it, you will not be happy.
I join №15
You will not tell anyone! Neither the police nor her parents. It's a terrible thing for her, and she wants to forget it, so don't dig into the past and pour salt into the wound, and it's best not to raise the issue at all, even in front of her. She trusted you, she shared her biggest secret with you, don't betray her trust and don't hurt her. She's just trying to erase that nightmare from her head, and you're doing the same. Because you remember what will happen if you talk to the police? They will call her for interrogation, to recognize suspects, etc. and for her things will become even more difficult! And if, God forbid, this freak escapes, she will live in a nightmare that he will find a way to avenge her for talking to the police. For this, for the good of both of you, forget about everything, love her and show that she is special to you. Let her feel safe and secure. This is the most important thing for any girl who has experienced such horror. To know that she is not alone and someone loves her.
for nothing in the world do not tell anyone about what happened! do you think it will JUST make you very angry? no! if you only get away with it, you should be happy! Many women feel guilt and shame. If others find out about the incident, it is very likely that it will affect her whole life and she will no longer trust anyone! she has already accepted it ... be by her side and that's it. If after a while she decides to share - then you can contact the police. Whenever he decides, it will not be too late. He will get what he deserves
If she thinks her parents need to know, she'll tell them herself. She has trusted only you, which means she expects you to understand her and be discreet. I know that in such a case, when they hurt the girl you love, it is very difficult to talk about discretion, but this problem is very delicate and you have to comply with the girl. Yes, on the one hand her parents are responsible for her and it would be good to know what happened to her, but on the other hand you will make a mistake if you tell them that this is something she has decided to share only and only with you. This is something she doesn't want to remember and wants to forget, if you tell her parents she's unlikely to forget soon. If she claims to have overcome him, don't open her wound again. Her family will probably find out someday, but you don't betray the trust, which she voted for you. I know that you are doing it for her good, in order to help her and what they have caused her not to go unpunished, which is right - this is really a serious crime for which there is a punishment, but for now it may be more to act properly alone and not to interfere with other people. Of course, the final decision is yours. If you really think that telling her parents will help her - do it. No one can deny that they also have the right to know what is happening to their child, but in this way you risk losing her. If you really think that telling her parents will help her - do it. No one can deny that they also have the right to know what is happening to their child, but in this way you risk losing her. If you really think that telling her parents will help her - do it. No one can deny that they also have the right to know what is happening to their child, but in this way you risk losing her.
And imagine that one day you say "I made it up", then you will be hurt that you have given so much time to this "secret" that you have been harassed and looking for the person in question, and she has been playing jokes. I wish she had invented everything and that there were no such girls with such problems.
He has no problem telling his parents, as long as he doesn't turn out to be hiding something else. By the way, girls at this age often revolve around older boys.
it is best to love your girlfriend and forget about the rape, but try not to repeat it! Otherwise, if you understand the last name of this one, he can say that what you call "raped" 3 years ago happened by mutual consent at least 100 times in a few months! They won't do anything to him, but they can do to you! Because you started with her before she turned 16!
Don't tell anyone about anything in the world !!!!
The worst thing in this case is that no one you tell has anything to do and he will not get what he deserves. There are procedures such as within 24 hours of the rape to be examined by a doctor and to take material and various other procedures, which are done in a very short time, but are mandatory. It's been a long time and no one will convict him because he can't prove himself in court. Only in your city can his name be scattered and everyone point to him as a rapist.
This is awful. You better not tell your parents! Don't raise this topic. It's hard to fall asleep thinking that this happened to your loved one. Don't talk about it
as Number 15 said - girls love intrigue. who was raped, who wanted to commit suicide, who was not understood / supported / interested in her parents. And just because you have sex doesn't mean you will have 10-12 babies and live until death do you part. You are at such an age that you will probably look for other halves when you get smarter. With health and no more mention the topic of rape, if she speaks again you tell her parents. Because if it is true and she wants to talk about it, then she seeks help.
If you have the links that you write that there are so many you will find it not by small name, but by height only: D. I was in the same situation with my ex. After he told me, I found it the next night, not by name but only by model and color of the car. But you have to cut your head to know how to sift. And connections mostly. Well, what happened, he regretted that he even touched her, I ran away with a knife stuck in the bone to the throat, fortunately did not survive. Everything is correct. She never understood, so as not to hurt her, because I had promised not to do anything, and I punished myself properly. Now, even if I'm not with her, I'm not sorry, because the bottom liner is worth it, and I wouldn't be able to be with her knowing that I didn't protect her. Nothing that happened to me was not with me yet. f. I can't give you advice, I solved the problem that way.
Don't tell anyone she trusted you. I have experienced it and from experience I tell you it is right. it will ruin her. rejoice if she has experienced it be careful and keep her secret
Who are you to tell anyone? You're going to betray this girl's trust, you're going to desecrate her secret and her to pretend to be great, aren't you? !! Once she told it only to you, she assumed she didn't want others to know, if she had wanted to, she would have turned him over to the police. Do you know how difficult it is to experience such a thing, what shame and self-blame the girl feels? You do not know and do not understand. It is not your job to decide who knows. If I am, I will spit on you and despise you for the rest of my days. I will deny and send you to hell. The secret between two people is sacred, she has trusted you, she has opened her heart to admit something so terrible, and you will betray her ... You are obviously selfish and you do not care about the feelings of others.
They don't catch the crimes from yesterday. You started digging from 2 years ago
at the age of 17 you have connections with the police, well done, but the rapists release them, two years have passed, a lost cause