Hello, I will try to write briefly something that excites me and that I have been thinking about for some time, and I would be happy for someone to share, express an opinion. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, 6 months ago we lived together. Here is the place to add that we are from different cities, I come from the so-called "big city", it is from a smaller city. It was high time we took this step and we are not the first youth. I had a good job, good and regular pay, but I decided to quit my job and move in with him. I knew it wouldn't be easy for me and that there was an adjustment that wouldn't end in a day or two, but I love him and I want to be with him, he's the person I chose to be with, he's caring, good, dedicated in everything he does. We live in an apartment with his parents. His mother didn't like me from the beginning, but this does not concern me much, because we cannot all like and love each other - people are different, sympathies for one thing or another too. There have been many situations in which she has shown that she does not approve of me, moments in which she has shown me 'who is the master' at home, etc. I have never responded with disrespect, a raised tone or anything like that. in other values, and yet she has another daughter-in-law, who in this case is the beloved, and another son, who is placed on a pedestal.Here comes the big one, BUT .... My boy is for everything, for minor repairs , to run up and down for what it takes, while my uncle is the great one in the family, how he struggled with life, how they, as parents, failed to give him anything, he managed on his own and a number of others like that. at breakfast, lunch and dinner, here is the second BUT ... As I wrote above, I have been here for several months, my search for a job started even before I moved, for now nothing. I know that the situation is very difficult in our country at the moment, but I believed that I would succeed. As of today, I'm not so sure, I've been sending cvs left and right for 9 months. I know someone will say for sure that there are many people who have been out of work for a year or two, but this is my case. This is another BUT .... Since I've been here I've received several job offers from my city with good pay, but I haven't told him, there are cases when my friends call me with job offers for him too, but and I didn't tell him that .... But for a while now, I've been thinking more and more about going back to live at home. When I say houses I have in a house on 3 floors, furnished, with space and space for everything, whatever you want. I attract "For" and "Against" and the pros for my home are more ... I don't know, maybe I'm biased. I honestly don't see any prospects here, he has his job, his salary is very low and he goes straight to the fridge, he has no friends, because all his friends are for or abroad, or they have moved out of the city. I know it's good to go out for coffee or pizza. The other thing that starts to tip the scales to get out of here is that for a while his father has been talking about how HE filled the fridge, how he paid bills and the like. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to them for that and I fully understand it. He and his mother are retired, but this does not mean that I have to be content to work for BGN 350, because here the salaries are like that. I feel
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I will say what most people would advise you. Talk to him, discuss it and if he pulls up, pack your bags and you'll be out of smoke. If he loves you very much and cares for you, he should not be so blind and will follow you. I know it sounds very easy, but believe me, everyday life will captivate you so much that you will then wonder how you got entangled in it. I say it from personal experience ... And when the child appears ... things become very, very complicated ...
hello, well - yes, that's best. First, find a job for both of you in your city. move and live INDEPENDENTLY this is absolutely mandatory, especially for a new family Where you are now you just can not live normally. of course you will continue to maintain a good relationship with his parents. You can go once or twice a month for the weekend. From what I have written, I understand that you are not a conflicted person - so when you move and have both jobs, this independence will give you self-confidence. And he will find friends if his city is small and there is no one with him ... You have nothing to think about. go out one night and talk - tell him what you think is uncomfortable sitting idle and that you want to be alone! if you tell him everything you've written here - I'm absolutely sure he'll understand!
You're crazy if you stay there. If your gentleman stomps his foot and stumbles that it is best for his mother, grab your luggage and you will not be there, you have no place there and no one has the right to force you to live with his parents, to stay unemployed in a more hopeless city, etc. This is living madness. I don't know how you curled up at all, from afar the whole situation screams PROBLEM.
Get out of this city and mommy as soon as possible.
Hi, analyzing the situation, I come to the conclusion that you are so hesitant because you definitely have strong feelings for your friend and this makes you tolerate his family, lack of work and generally the lifestyle you lead after you have moved. Realistically, if you do not see for yourself the way you want to act, no one else will be able to do it ... All the facts show that it is 100 times better to come back, with or without it. It sounds selfish, but I think your own happiness comes first! But this is another topic of conversation ... Well, my advice is to just talk to him, to list all the reasons you shared here, calmly, without arguing and solving the problem together. Best tell him about job offers, the more honest you are, the better. Thus, you will convince both him and YOURSELF that it is better to move. And something very important, don't blame him or his parents for the situation you find yourself in, so you won't achieve anything. To get a person to agree with your views, you just have to present things to him, in the way he will like, you need tact. This is my advice. Success! T.
Talk to him, I guess if you don't get rid of your problems in this city, there will be a rupture in your relationship. Do not be selfish, but also do not sacrifice your opportunities for work, development, friends, happiness and respect in your home.
Strange, what are you waiting for? If your friend has told you from the beginning that he will not move from his city, and in such circumstances has not changed his mind - then it's time to go back alone. If he loves you, he will follow you. And if he doesn't love you, you're redundant in his house anyway.
Well, talk to your friend. I hope he is not a mother's son and wants to live with mom and dad forever. Or with some conservative understanding that a woman should live with her husband. That then look at how the child will want to be called like his grandparents, etc.
If there is a place to go, what else do you wonder. Given that he is in a bigger city, you have job offers for him, etc. And you will not tolerate people who do not like you. My friends took a place of residence, if only they were not with their parents, and you are standing there, in a small town, without a job, they are harassing (mentally) him too. I do not understand...
Return to your home! You do not deserve such treatment, nor does your husband. :) Move to your old house as soon as possible, I recommend it from the bottom of my heart ... and from personal experience! :)
Darling, there is nothing to be surprised about, talk to your partner and explain to him what you think, there is nothing wrong with him coming to your home and living there. I don't understand for what purpose they are hinting that your friend's brother is as capable as he is, and he is not. They are both their sons, what do they want to achieve with these stories. Maybe you're thinking about why you're with him, and maybe they're trying to give him up. To keep the boy at home, to have someone to look after them. You need to discuss the situation with both of you so that it is good for you. Parents, of course, are loved, but first fix your problems - unemployment, etc., and they will always remain his parents, who sometimes unnecessarily fear that they will be abandoned when they are old and this makes them selfish sometimes, unfairly. You explained everything very carefully and tactfully, and so, sit down, talk. I believe that once you love each other you will decide the best.
What are you wondering - get out of there. I don't even know why you went to him in the first place - because he's a man or what? And you live with his parents while you have a house? !? !!
Get out of there now! I don't know how you can stand it at all ....
You said it yourself, live separately as you want, you have a house, they offer you a job, and for him, so it will be best for you and everything will be fine, you will see, success! Don't give up on the idea
Tell his parents that if they want grandchildren, it is better for them to say goodbye to you and let you move to your city and find a job that is well paid, because children are not looked after with 400 leva;) Like You tell them that, I doubt they'll come up with anything logical for self-defense ... and what are these boasts about their other son? That BILL went through such and such difficulties ... These are very funny parents and relatives (I also have such) They brag about something they WERE, but nowadays, in fact, they are the opposite of everything they say they were .. Every time I finish high school with 4. 20 but to brag about how I was an excellent student from the first to the 5th grade: D To stop bragging about your past perfect tense and take a look at what they are now and what they help you with, as only they look askance and discuss who filled the fridge and brag to their son what he was and what he was not ... Get out of this city. It's for good. Otherwise, the scandals will increase. One Boy-20y.
Do what you want, if you listen to someone else then you will blame him for your failure. No sense And by the way, why did the editors of the site not publish the topic I had written? For a girl who has lived alone all her life, what's wrong with the topic? Otherwise, every other topic, especially in love and infidelity, has similar problems, but this one should have received disapproval!
Run as fast as you can girl !!
Your words: "I had a good job ..." -I had. Sometime. "that she disapproves of me, moments in which she showed me 'who is the master' at home, etc." -In them. "I listen to this with a decent dose of patience at breakfast, lunch and dinner. "-His brother. Calculate all these - you had, once. Today you don't. And you once had a home. Today you don't. And you once had your own life. Today you don't. I don't laugh at you, I don't judge you. You don't live for me YOUR life, and his. You deal with his problems. In his family to test your patience, to stand without a good job and to be reminded who your master was. you have a perspective! Why do you doom yourself ?! You don't live your life, you just take care of your friend, suffer for him and accept his problems as your own. Do you feel how stupid a situation you put yourself in? !! .. I hope you wake up very soon .. You leave your life because of someone else.
Do what you feel is right! Do what will make you feel good - in this case, leave this place! But of course ... I don't mean to grab your bag and leave just like that ... of course, that it would be good to talk to your friend first, to tell him EVERYTHING ... that's why you're boyfriends ... if you can't share what's wrong with him, then who? !! Tell him everything, tell him everything - about the suggestions you received, about your opinion about this place, tell him how you feel ... Life is too short, darling ... it is too short to consider others ... if you want to spend your whole life this way - in a place where you neither feel comfortable, nor have friends, nor work ... then stay there ... but you hardly like this way of life. You're a young girl, I think ... you shouldn't waste your time in this place from now on ... I think it's a waste of time! Move with your friend / if he wants it too / in your city, live in peace, there will be no mothers-in-law to blame you, etc .... Good luck !!! Martina
I don't understand how you left a good job, a three-storey house and a big city to go to an apartment shared with parents - pensioners, unemployed and relying on the meager income of your "husband"? I just can't figure it out.
Author: I want to thank everyone who expressed their opinion and advice :). I talked to him, eventually, and he agreed to my arguments for moving into my home. Of course, I don't expect flowers and roses along the way, but "My home is my fortress", especially since my parents adore it and are very democratic people. He is a little hesitant, but with a little patience, a little tolerance and a lot of common sense I start making plans for something new and I hope well and of course not least the fight with "mom and dad" when they find out that I will get their boy out of here :) -believe me it will not be easy !!! Thanks again to everyone, it is good to have the opportunity to read an unbiased opinion on your life problem. :)
Ask the question. If you put up with a lot of time, the moment of the explosion will come. Then it will be too late, because you will say a lot of unnecessary and vulnerable things. As long as you still love and respect each other, the issue can be resolved in the most reasonable and painless way. Do not force yourself to tolerate hints.