I have been married for 25 years, but I have never dreamed of such a man. In the morning he starts insulting me and blaming me for everything. In the evening, when he returned from work, he was already in the pub. He is angry and sullen again because of his colleagues. Angry at everything and everyone. His money was low, his bills were high. He always whines and complains! She enjoys crying and seeing me upset. I worked 3 years in 2 places to have more money. Everything I pay - rent, bills and more. And he buys various things for food, but most of them he eats and drinks. Just complaining! We lived in a small town and there was still no work for him, or if there was, it was for a short time. I supported the family for 7 years. I paid the bills again. To the child - lessons, etc. Now we are in the big city - there is still no suitable job for him. He complains again! She blames me for the move. How to live more like that? What mistake did I make?
Answers 13
You don't say whether it's been like that for 25 years or recently. If this has been the case for 25 years, I want to ask you, do you only now remember that you cannot live like this? !! If so recently, then your husband is experiencing a midlife crisis. If it really is such a miracle as you describe it, then you should take matters into your own hands and not let it make you a monkey. Squeeze him, pack your bags. He may feel that he has gone too far. If he does not feel and continues to behave like an animal, then he will not be. Just take matters into your own hands! Success F27
And what is this for you? !! To endure this for 25 years is pure masochism! If you kick him and take a puppy in his place, you will be much happier. she the animal and you and the child will rejoice and love. Yes, I deliberately compare it to a dog! So many years unhappy! Aren't you tired? Don't you want to laugh? Someone to compliment you, to hug you with love? Well, for that you have to get rid of what not only makes you completely unhappy, but also does not allow you to look for at least one smile at your own expense! It is never too late for new opportunities! In any case, without old "injuries" you will be much better. Don't you think you deserve it? !! I think so! This parasite takes you, and only takes it, feeds you with poison, keeps you crushed, humiliated and unhappy in the corner on standby, every time you wish, to let go of your own evil of a failed complex. It will always be so! So far it has not changed and will not change in the future. That you can make this likeness of a man who can't make him even crazier. lowering you is the only way for a hero to feel up and down on the same level with you. He can't go up to yours. It's too ... low !!! Run !!! Run and look for your smile!
Read the trilogy "Fifty Shades";)
If he always tells you that his behavior is from the move, you will soon get tired of it, the insinuation is the worst, don't swallow the insults and other things, but don't forget to take care of yourself and your family, sometimes people get angry. " change "because I don't believe you put up with it for 25 years in that spirit.
Either don't pay attention to him or it's time for me to end my contacts with him :) Maybe you need variety ..
I have the feeling that you are describing some lazy and rude person. Will you tolerate this or not ...
And what is such a man for you - to wear him and stretch him for everything, and for him to eat and drink his money himself ... even if he blames you for everything and humiliates and makes you cry all the time . And it will get worse in the future. Better alone than badly accompanied - it is said in such cases. Don't you deserve a better man next to you?
Thanks a lot for the comments! You really need variety and new things.
Dear, as you describe it, you seem to have become a victim of domestic violence without realizing it. Because everyone thinks that only fighting is domestic violence, but it is not. Mental harassment too. That's my advice, take your child, file for divorce and leave. This is not life! And think about your child. Do you want to live in such an environment? I guess not.
It really is mental harassment. You are always guilty of something. He always grumbles and complains. He just whines and attacks with insults. Work, colleagues, money and so on. He insulted the child and did not let her be late, to wear short skirts. All dissatisfied. She found a husband and left us. Now I am left as a scapegoat. We had to move somewhere else, but he didn't know where either. No house, no money, no job, but let's go. I have the feeling that he hates everything and everyone. I attribute it to the fact that he lost his mother at the age of 13. He did not have a normal family, but will he keep his own - with shouts, quarrels and insults ?! It doesn't last.
Enough, he didn't have a normal family - I know a man who lived in orphanages and was thrown from family to family, but he is not angry with life, on the contrary - he appreciates the family he created, precisely because he himself did not have one ... no is this the right thinking? It's normal and you're afraid of change after you've been together for so long, but is that what you want - to be a mat and a badger pad? If you think you don't want to be alone in your old age, that's not right - you're alone all your life, and don't think that as you get older, he'll take care of you ... ha, he expects the exact opposite. Your daughter to support you, when there is someone behind you, it is easier to get out of this environment.
You can't stand this freak all your life - if you can get rid of him, don't justify him without bothering him. Otherwise you will become like him and / or get sick.
Things have changed a bit, but I dare not say that they are better. He lost his job and his salary for a whole year again because of his insults and rather big mouth. Feel what it's like to have no income. He couldn't find a job for a whole year. Finally, he decided to apply to a university and change his profession completely. He found a job 5 minutes from the block and his mind is still busy with preparation, lectures and exams. He turned out to be an excellent student and was very pleased with his results. He changed his attitude towards our daughter, always asking if she had called. I hope the change has affected everything.