Hello! I got married 8 years ago, I have a child. I thought I would be happy but UVI. My husband is not a good father, nor a good husband. I want a divorce but it threatens me. I tried once but he took my child and said I would never see him again. He approached the date of the trial and promised me that it would change and we met again / I couldn't do without my child - I was dying at the thought without him and I had no other chance and I came back / my life is even more unbearable. He says - It's better to be a widower than a divorcee. He has absolutely nothing to do with his family. After work he goes out to drink and is not even responsible for the health of his child. I have no support from anywhere with divorced parents and I can't find the right path. And I can't stand it anymore, I've become a ball of nerves. I know there is no option but still write to me.
Answers 13
There is an option! When he is drunk and scandalizes you - call the police! If it touches you - put up with it and go and get medical for inflicting bodily harm! Condemn him! And if he dares to touch you again, or something like that - prison awaits him! Try to mobilize as much as possible and be strong. How do you think, no matter how little, when his father drinks - the child sees what the situation is - in a possible case and the child will be questioned! Find a good lawyer! Condemn him! The child will be with you! I just know what it is! You have to be strong! Success!
Look, darling, I fully understand you, because I was in the same situation, but I stayed because of the children, you would say a great sacrifice, I had no support from living parents. Better a poor horse than no horse at all. I did not find understanding on the part of his parents, his father quarreled with half his mouth, and his mother "What do you want, my sons drink, but do not fight, you want a good fight to get well." I have an education, but with two children less than two years apart, at least here I had a home for my children and I secretly hoped that they would at least understand me. I lived with him for more than twenty years. The children grew up, they had a living example of how alcohol does not forgive anyone. He worked for a whole month to go home without a penny, even the pickpockets knew when he took his salary and took it from him ... that's short. The children grew up, came of age, old enough to protect me, and they both threw him out of the house, which is also his home. He went to live with his parents. He can't come back here anymore, there is no one to take him home ... I am happy and proud of my children and they are both university graduates, they have a job, they are happy to have friends, we are considering marriage ... Look what, darling, no I advise you to do as I have chosen. Everyone lives a unique life. So everyone has to decide for themselves how to experience it, so that they don't regret it later! May God help you !!! Girlfriends, we are considering marriage ... Look what, darling, I do not advise you to do as I have chosen. Everyone lives a unique life. So everyone has to decide for themselves how to experience it, so that they don't regret it later! May God help you !!! Girlfriends, we are considering marriage ... Look what, darling, I do not advise you to do as I have chosen. Everyone lives a unique life. So everyone has to decide for themselves how to experience it, so that they don't regret it later! May God help you !!!
Number 2 acted super stupid. And where is her life? There is no such thing! I survived the same thing, but I found a good lawyer, threw him out of the house, took my children and I've been great for 7 years now! I raised the children, I have a wonderful man by my side, I do not regret anything.
Aren't you to blame for drinking it? Try to support him. Change your behavior and not immediately, but he will not be the same. After all, he is the father of your child.
I came across your story quite by accident, but it intrigued me. This is mine, but in a worse version. We were almost divorced and we decided to give ourselves a second chance. This is how our second child was born. Now for me the trap is double - he will not give me the children, and I can not do without them. I also can't count on my parents - my mother has serious health problems and I don't want to bother her. If I didn't want to keep her calm and healthy, I would probably try to escape and build my life on my own despite the difficulties. Because I prefer to take care only of my children, and not of one, I don't even know how to call him a selfish egoist like my husband. But at least for now I'm patient and I can't muster the courage to do something. I hope you are braver than me and do not make my mistakes.
I can't wait to answer number 4 - "father of your child" - sir or madam, it's more important for a child to have a good father, not just a presence at home (let me remind you - sometimes intoxicating, beating, shouting, insulting, depressing). With such a "father" it is better without him.
I recommend to all families to support themselves
I sympathize with you most sincerely, because I am in the same situation. For 8 years. I suffer the same bullying because of the child. At one point he grows up, and his father is the same. I hoped it would change, but alas. Well, I've changed and started looking for a better option. I advise you to do it too, there are still decent men. I wish you success and do not put up with your misfortune. Life is too short to be unhappy. Find the person you will be truly happy with. Good luck darling. God help you!
Talk to us about your husband, take your child and leave the apartment, then file for divorce through your husband's fault. talk to a lawyer, and there's nothing you can do to get him out of the apartment, even if it's his. The worst thing is to sit and be patient. For fear that he will "take your child" - come on, please, you do not believe yourself. No one can take the child you gave birth to. Do not leave with men who do not treat you well, "for the sake of the child." There is no greater sorrow for children than living in a bad family atmosphere, with drunken fathers, and the like. If your husband is not a good father and husband, if there is no good relationship between you, leave him for the sake of your child. If you stay there "for the sake of the child", your child will not forgive you. Read the stories of teenage children, 12-13-14 years old. They dream of leaving their father, they themselves are not old enough to be able to do it ... Understand, by staying with a man who is, in a word, bad, you are not doing any good to your children. On the contrary - all this ruins the child's weakened psyche.
And you are obviously perfect?
Not so, because if the father has a very good income, housing and has not shown aggression in front of witnesses, and the mother is a housewife and parents? they don't want her like at number 2 - the children can really award him, unfortunately ... I'm in a similar situation and I'm clenching my teeth so that the child grows up a little and can say in court who he prefers, and I hope by then to have a good income and a roof over my head. Another option for the author is to study the Anonymous Accommodation Centers for women who have experienced violence, the bad thing is that there you can do a maximum of 6 months. to stand ..
Number 4 complete nonsense jingle. No one can help him. With understanding and support, it will get nowhere. He is an alcoholic as you may have read. They have no place except in a clinic! My mother and father were fighting in front of my eyes, do you have any idea what a trauma this is? My father drank non-stop and eventually died! There is no salvation for such people unless they try to give up alcohol on their own. I'm only 15 I didn't deserve to be without a father at 10. One day my father was drunk again, he and his mother got into a fight, my mother called the police, they came, he took out a knife, and so they resisted him for 72 hours. During this time, my mother filed for divorce, got a good lawyer and divorced, a little later he died.
If I were old enough, I would find you with your child and personally blow the skull of that offspring. I want to become a police officer to prevent such things, but it is unlikely to happen, I have asthma and most likely when I apply they will declare me unfit. I want to go to addresses with such bastards as your husband and beat them in the middle of the street to see what's wrong with you !!! True, it is dangerous if he then finds you and decides to take revenge, but this is exactly what draws me - the danger, the adrenaline of defeating your 'omnipotent' man. I would have killed him in your place, but unfortunately the child will be left without a father (who doesn't need him anyway), but without a mother, that's the bad thing.