Hello, I am aware that for some moralists this will be another, base story of infidelity, but I feel a great need to share. At 31 married for eleven years with two children. I married for love in my eyes, my husband was the only one, sinless and perfect, but in time he pushed me away from himself. He left me alone with the children, went out with friends almost every night, came home at seven in the morning. I don't know if he cheated on me, but my wife was the last to find out. Stumbling on gambling, we were mired in debt with my support managed to get out of the mud, I was always behind him. From 2-3 years He began to ignore me, not to appreciate me, to take me for granted. I did not miss sex, I lacked attitude and respect outside of bed. So after a bunch of compromises and disappointments, one day I realized that I don't love him anymore or at least it's not like in the beginning. He has been working abroad for a year and a half. This is where the important things begin. I started writing on social networks with one of my exes, who is my age, and he lives and works abroad with his family, he is married with two children. From one place we are word for word I realized that he systematically cheats on a woman, knows how to protect himself and how to get out of any situation, as they say "big player". I asked him why he was cheating, he didn't give me an exact answer, but over time I understood the reason, or so I guess. They sleep separately with his wife at her request, with the excuse that the children are not used to sleeping alone. They seldom have sex, when they do it by appointment and preparation, in the morning he wakes up alone again, drinks his coffee alone. Maybe for someone this is normal for me is not. What makes a man careless, he finds what he needs outside. Naturally, he hinted that he wanted me for sex, at first I was worried about how I would feel after that. I was afraid. In time, I got used to this thought and decided on the stipulation "only sex", but for almost a year I tormented him with questions and reflections. He had the opportunity to come to BG, I met him, he was very kind and tactful, he did not stop asking if I was sure of what I was doing. We did it, it wasn't the best sex I've ever had. The next day he bombarded me with questions, how am I, how do I feel and do I regret it? We saw each other a few more times, the last two at his insistence. It's time for him to go abroad again, I told myself whatever it was, we found what we were looking for, we'll stop looking for each other, but alas, if one day I don't write to him, he does it, he's angry that I forgot him, he is angry that I don't send him pictures and that I don't call him. He asks me if I had a better time with him or with my husband, I don't ask about his wife. I only ask about his infidelities. He told me that I was the first married man with whom he cheated and for the first time slept with the same more than 2-3 times, and we slept 5 times. I don't know if he has lost his mind, I dare not think that he is in love with me, what he wants to achieve with all his behavior. He claims that I used him as an object to satisfy my physical needs, because before I slept with him for seven months I had not had sex, it felt like a reserve, because he does everything while he is with his wife and when my husband comes home I interrupt any contact with him. I used it to give it back to my husband for neglecting me, usually men did that to women. In this case, it was used and it makes him feel bad. I respect him as a person and I want him to be well. Supposedly a "big player" and did I make a mistake somewhere? Please share your experience and opinions, have you ever been in such a situation? Please advice, men what do you think, what went wrong?
Answers 17
This one is crazy, the real man after sex with a married woman lifts his pants and disappears, at least until the next meeting, and does not question such nonsense. Big lover ... nothing.
Well, after you can't get along with your husband, why don't you break up with him? Get a divorce and live your life the way you want. Why lies and deceptions? Hiding in the shadows, snooping, hanging around ... Why? How will the person feel when he understands? Sooner or later he will understand. I have never understood those who lie and cheat. Never. You were wrong. If you don't want to mess up, get a divorce and do what you want. That way, there will be no deceived or injured third person. That's what the right people do. They do not threaten innocent partners with their weaknesses. And the "big player" can be played so well that both of you have a spinning world ... When you do things, do them right. Don't ruin innocent people ... Stop the nonsense and sit on your ass and pray that the player doesn't do something stupid and your husband understands. When a man wants sex and thrills, he divorces and already, when he is independent, to do whatever he wants. The other option is dangerous and can end badly. What can a man tell you. I feel sorry for you and you disgust me. You have to choose how to live your life. Live it right. Don't hurt the innocent. You don't care how your husband would feel. You're worried about how the lpbovnik feels ... he's been used. Bitter. When your wife ignores you, you get up and leave. It's simple ... As a single woman, you will not hide and be afraid. You're in a dumb position now. Very dumb. I hope you get out of the situation without drama and have a lesson. You don't care how your husband would feel. You're worried about how the lpbovnik feels ... he's been used. Bitter. When your wife ignores you, you get up and leave. It's simple ... As a single woman, you will not hide and be afraid. You're in a dumb position now. Very dumb. I hope you get out of the situation without drama and have a lesson. You don't care how your husband would feel. You're worried about how the lpbovnik feels ... he's been used. Bitter. When your wife ignores you, you get up and leave. It's simple ... As a single woman, you will not hide and be afraid. You're in a dumb position now. Very dumb. I hope you get out of the situation without drama and have a lesson.
When one thinks that a woman can come up with a million reasons to cheat. And somehow you are always to blame. And all this to nurture his fragile dignity. Sometimes it seems to me that the whole idea of relationships and marriage is a constant game. Who will be able to deceive the other and when one will be caught. Are we so primitive? Moralist.
What does "big player" mean, he is still a man. He was nice to you and he fell in love, that's clear. It is not good to cheat, so you lose your dignity, not to mention what will happen to your husband.
The big player is actually a big complex, nothing else. And you will forgive me, but you are a big fool with your great faith :)
This story only proves the fact how soft we men are, and how women are actually the queens of sex without feelings ... Most men have to read books to pretend to be "players" while women are born that way ... And for that what your husband was to you, there is always the country and what you were to him. Since when do I read on this site, to find a woman who said - I did not treat my husband well, I ignored him, dialed his number and moved him away from me. It takes two to tango, you know ... probably not ... I don't read you morals, because it's pointless for those who don't have their own. As a man who can't pretend to be a "player", I stand alone because I can't form a relationship with a woman because she's not like me, my definition of love is not sex. I know that the only thing he can appreciate me for is sex and emotions, so I don't feel "used". But many men still have feelings, and from there they feel disappointed. In fact, it is not the lack of morality, the lack of heart at all, that is most frustrating for a woman. At least you were spinning two men you really loved ... But you're spinning two men you don't love - one for people, the other for sex, I don't know if you realize that ... And no, it doesn't even matter what exactly these men are, for to love them. Love is not like sex - to set conditions, to need "chemistry", to need "emotions". Either YOU can love or you can't. It is extremely simple. But you spin two men you don't love - one for people, the other for sex, I don't know if you realize that ... And no, it doesn't even matter what exactly these men are to love them. Love is not like sex - to set conditions, to need "chemistry", to need "emotions". Either YOU can love or you can't. It is extremely simple. But you spin two men you don't love - one for people, the other for sex, I don't know if you realize that ... And no, it doesn't even matter what exactly these men are to love them. Love is not like sex - to set conditions, to need "chemistry", to need "emotions". Either YOU can love or you can't. It is extremely simple.
Well, you used him for sex, as he claims, but his problem is that he gets angry like a little boy.
I am the author: 3 that I was wrong I realized that I will sit on my ass I will listen to you. That's why I wrote the topic, I hoped to get adequate advice on how best to deal with and get rid of the "used lover", I'm worried he might decide to take revenge and tell what happened. And I hope you don't have to understand that they are cheating and lying. 8 because of people like my husband, women lose faith and love in love and everything.
I am the author again: around 8 I know that I have no heart left and I have said it to my lover several times. Yes, you are right that I may be to blame for my husband's attitude towards me, believe me, I thought for a long time that it was my fault, namely that even if he was wrong in some way, I was always on his side. . The more you give to someone, the more he benefits from it. I lost my dignity long before the infidelity, I say it because number 3 raised a question about it. Dignity is lost in many other ways. Infidelity is not a mistake, I will not apologize, I do not want to be pitied, you have no idea how much they pitied me for having such a husband. Believe me I am ashamed and sorry for what I did. At least I'm clear that I won't continue this affair for years, as others do. I will do my best to get out of this mess. As for my lover, it is clear that he will burn someday, but he will not be with me.
8, this story only proves that the site already writes all kinds of dreamers, virgin sexologists, never smelled female masters of the legs, lonely bored midwives, and all sorts of other similar creatures ...
Very cool that he praised you not once, but 5 times! obviously he cares about you, he will most likely want you to be a family when he breaks up with his wife, who makes him moussaka while he writes to you in the kitchen about his sexual exploits and your emotional misery. You tortured him with questions ... tighten up.
<11> My advice is: When writing a story, don't go into so much detail about the lover's character. It seems quite transparent in the sense that you know too much, which I immediately think is that you invented it. Otherwise it is provocative;)
My hands itched a little, but I will neither judge you nor criticize your decisions. I only advise you to end this parody of marriage and the reason I am writing it is far from based only on your infidelity. So, the other option is for parody to stop being a parody, but if feelings are replaced by lies and loneliness, I don't see the point in fighting. The big player does not feel wanted, but must be used to being like that in the eyes of his lovers. People allegedly wanted the forbidden fruit and were attracted to the game of cat and mouse. This is the whole situation, the man wants you to look for him, but he will hardly leave his wife and children to be with you forever. Maybe there are feelings, it's your ex, sometimes the spark ignites again, but I personally doubt it. You can talk to him and delicately explain to him that you had an appointment to be just sex and you follow it. Then you have to pray to all the gods that he does not open his mouth, because it is probably very important that the affair remains a secret. The bad thing about the situation is that you don't love your husband, you don't love your lover. I personally, as a reader of the story, have a lot of questions. I really think you really used your lover for sex in order to get revenge, it makes sense to at least admit it. The bad thing is that the lover cannot accept this truth and is tormented. You have made a mess ... Try to tell everyone the truth, there will be consequences, but at some point you will be able to live more peacefully with yourself. that you really used your lover for sex in order to get revenge, it makes sense to at least admit it. The bad thing is that the lover cannot accept this truth and is tormented. You have made a mess ... Try to tell everyone the truth, there will be consequences, but at some point you will be able to live more peacefully with yourself. that you really used your lover for sex in order to get revenge, it makes sense to at least admit it. The bad thing is that the lover cannot accept this truth and is tormented. You have made a mess ... Try to tell everyone the truth, there will be consequences, but at some point you will be able to live more peacefully with yourself.
The author It's been a long time since I shared my story. I thought a lot and thought about all the opinions and comments. Next to number 3-I wrote the topic to seek advice on what to do with my lover, my husband and I have been in the process of divorce for two weeks. And before you advise someone "well, get divorced and you're done", does it not occur to you that the person may have already thought of this, but there is some reason why he did not take the step. Number 6-, my lover may be complex, but I'm not a fool if I were now I would be in love and feel bad. I didn't mention anywhere that I had faith in him for anything. Number 14 - I could not understand from all the sound definitions what exactly applies to me. Maybe "grandma" I will be happy one day to reach old age so I can call myself that. Number 15 - it never occurred to me that he would divorce his wife, who was cooking moussaka for him in the kitchen. I'm not the first, I won't be the last to write about sexual exploits, he'll just replace me with another one entangled in his sweet talk. Number 16 - I didn't write anything, I know everything from my lover and I learned it after we slept. He did not share it with me to feel sorry for him and to bind him. I went into detail to clarify the picture. Number 17-thanks for the adequate comment, definitely made me think seriously. I realized that once I got to the bottom of this infidelity, I had nowhere to go, I gathered my strength and told my husband that we would have to finish this parody. And without that we have been separated for more than a year. I explained to my lover that we no longer had anything to give, we had the opportunity to have fun until then. I also told him not to think that I was divorcing because of him and not to hope that I would start begging him to do the same. I advised him to fix things with his wife and take care of his children. Now he writes to me again, but rarely. I want to tell everyone that in my case, infidelity helped me to some extent. It helped me understand what I want and what I need, namely to be alone for a while, I am tired of compromises and disappointments. I also realized that I had no heart left for anyone but my children. I don't blame life, I blame myself for being too good and allowing people to turn me into a heartless and heartless woman. Last but not least, I want to say that behind infidelity sometimes lies much more than a simple, primary, animal urge. I also told him not to think that I was divorcing because of him and not to hope that I would start begging him to do the same. I advised him to fix things with his wife and take care of his children. Now he writes to me again, but rarely. I want to tell everyone that in my case, infidelity helped me to some extent. It helped me understand what I want and what I need, namely to be alone for a while, I am tired of compromises and disappointments. I also realized that I had no heart left for anyone but my children. I don't blame life, I blame myself for being too good and allowing people to turn me into a heartless and heartless woman. Last but not least, I want to say that behind infidelity sometimes lies much more than a simple, primary, animal urge. I also told him not to think that I was divorcing because of him and not to hope that I would start begging him to do the same. I advised him to fix things with his wife and take care of his children. Now he writes to me again, but rarely. I want to tell everyone that in my case, infidelity helped me to some extent. It helped me understand what I want and what I need, namely to be alone for a while, I am tired of compromises and disappointments. I also realized that I had no heart left for anyone but my children. I don't blame life, I blame myself for being too good and allowing people to turn me into a heartless and heartless woman. Last but not least, I want to say that behind infidelity sometimes lies much more than a simple, primary, animal urge. that I am divorcing him because of him and not hoping to start begging him and he will do the same. I advised him to fix things with his wife and take care of his children. Now he writes to me again, but rarely. I want to tell everyone that in my case, infidelity helped me to some extent. It helped me understand what I want and what I need, namely to be alone for a while, I am tired of compromises and disappointments. I also realized that I had no heart left for anyone but my children. I don't blame life, I blame myself for being too good and allowing people to turn me into a heartless and heartless woman. Last but not least, I want to say that behind infidelity sometimes lies much more than a simple, primary, animal urge. that I am divorcing him because of him and not hoping to start begging him and he will do the same. I advised him to fix things with his wife and take care of his children. Now he writes to me again, but rarely. I want to tell everyone that in my case, infidelity helped me to some extent. It helped me understand what I want and what I need, namely to be alone for a while, I am tired of compromises and disappointments. I also realized that I had no heart left for anyone but my children. I don't blame life, I blame myself for being too good and allowing people to turn me into a heartless and heartless woman. Last but not least, I want to say that behind infidelity sometimes lies much more than a simple, primary, animal urge. I want to tell everyone that in my case, infidelity helped me to some extent. It helped me understand what I want and what I need, namely to be alone for a while, I am tired of compromises and disappointments. I also realized that I had no heart left for anyone but my children. I don't blame life, I blame myself for being too good and allowing people to turn me into a heartless and heartless woman. Last but not least, I want to say that behind infidelity sometimes lies much more than a simple, primary, animal urge. I want to tell everyone that in my case, infidelity helped me to some extent. It helped me understand what I want and what I need, namely to be alone for a while, I am tired of compromises and disappointments. I also realized that I had no heart left for anyone but my children. I don't blame life, I blame myself for being too good and allowing people to turn me into a heartless and heartless woman. Last but not least, I want to say that behind infidelity sometimes lies much more than a simple, primary, animal urge. I blame myself for being too good and allowing people to turn me into a heartless and heartless woman. Last but not least, I want to say that behind infidelity sometimes lies much more than a simple, primary, animal urge. I blame myself for being too good and allowing people to turn me into a heartless and heartless woman. Last but not least, I want to say that behind infidelity sometimes lies much more than a simple, primary, animal urge.
Congratulations now, you will not cheat on your Husband. Now let's see, your lover. Now he saw that he only used you for sex. The other, you write to justify your own conscience.
Congratulations, you got what you wanted. This is your point of view. You sent your husband to work abroad. You cheated on him, and in the end he was guilty again. But everything comes back to this life, in time you will realize it.
"... some moralists will crave this ..." he did not know! This is another illiterate story for me!