Hello! After reading many uploaded stories on the subject, I was even more confused and decided to ask for advice. I will start the story from afar. One day about 5 years ago when I was 10-11 my mother had forgotten her phone. I didn't touch it, I just got a message from a man and I saw it, it said, "I love you." Of course I was small and curious and I read all the messages with this man and so I realized that he was her lover. I don't know if they met, because the man is from Sofia and we live relatively far from Sofia. I didn't know what to do because I was little and I didn't want to be separated from my father. There were calls, Skype writing, even when we were on a family vacation (I know because one day at the pool her battery had dropped and she came in from my phone, and then she forgot to come out and I was getting out of the way when we were three). I was sick, but I was also small and over time I decided that I didn't care, I got older and I decided that they had the right to privacy and gradually I started pretending I didn't know. By the way, about a year after I found out, my mother started deleting messages with this person, maybe she felt that I knew. At the same time, shortly after I found out, my father went to work abroad and I said to myself, she must be lonely without him, so she wrote to him. I don't know what happened, they wrote to each other for a long time, she received messages and talked, but now the problem is different. After what I know I would not pay attention, but now she is cheating on him with another man (again I found out quite by accident from a message) and the problem is that this man lives close, knows his father and is a close friend of the best and a friend of the father my problem is that I'm afraid my father won't understand. I really didn't want to interfere because I didn't know how things were with the first one and I can't sue my mother if your father may have cheated on her and I just didn't know, but now it's different this man also has a family and a wife . Men are unpredictable, but if they get drunk and tell someone in a small town like ours, everyone will understand. From the messages I understood that he was lying to me to meet him, I didn't read much, I just wanted to make sure that I didn't misunderstand. I want to prevent a possible problem. Since I know the daughter of the man in question, I'm thinking of talking to her. Should I do it? Sorry for the spelling I write from the phone. Men are unpredictable, but if they get drunk and tell someone in a small town like ours, everyone will understand. From the messages I understood that he was lying to me to meet him, I didn't read much, I just wanted to make sure that I didn't misunderstand. I want to prevent a possible problem. Since I know the daughter of the man in question, I'm thinking of talking to her. Should I do it? Sorry for the spelling I write from the phone. Men are unpredictable, but if they get drunk and tell someone in a small town like ours, everyone will understand. From the messages I understood that he was lying to me to meet him, I didn't read much, I just wanted to make sure that I didn't misunderstand. I want to prevent a possible problem. Since I know the daughter of the man in question, I'm thinking of talking to her. Should I do it? Sorry for the spelling I write from the phone.
Answers 5
If you don't, you become an accomplice.
No way! If you talk to his daughter, she can rattle and it will become exactly what you do not want. Apart from being rumored, you don't know how his wife will react and you can divorce them. Sit down and talk openly with your mother. Say everything you wrote here. That you also know about the previous one, that you don't want to judge her and make remarks, but explain how you see the risk of that one rattling and everything else. Your reasoning is in the right direction, but your mother is the person you need to talk to, she is your family, not the daughter of the man you slept with. She'll probably be annoyed that you looked at her messages, but it's much better to be honest with her than with a stranger. Although parents rarely admit it, sometimes we raise them as much as they raise us. Success!
And how do you think his daughter can help? It would be most logical to talk to your mother. But - to be honest - it will not stop. Your mother is obviously like that - something is missing with men and she is looking for it elsewhere. If he finds out you know, he'll start hiding better, but he won't stop. My advice is to do what is natural in nature - to learn a lesson and keep it in mind in your own life. And in that of your mother, your father and your mother's lovers - if you can, don't get me wrong.
All commenters without exception will advise you not to interfere, because it is not your job. It is even certain that they will tell you that your father is not a flower to smell, that he also has a mistress, etc. The assessment of the situation should be yours alone. My advice is: talk to your mother first and tell her everything you know, as well as your fears that your father will not understand. In fact, why do your people still live together? Just because of you? F 23
It is a pity that your mother is so irresponsible and burdens you with her nonsense. If I were you, I wouldn't be busy, but I would look after my own life - boys, school, vacation, hobbies. I will finish and leave, and ours will fix their marriage as they know. You know the bad news messenger takes him. I think your father also knows, but he pretends to be hit. It is no coincidence that he went abroad.