Hello. I am 25 years old and since I can remember I have always had a complicated relationship with my mother. My father and I got divorced when I was 14. I've heard scandals all my life. Whenever he quarreled with my father, he would pack up and take me with him. She wanted me to be on her side. Or he took it out on me and he went out, didn't come home for days and I took him away. He wanted to separate for another woman. They divorced and it got scary. He played some dramas on me, argued with me that I hadn't told him anything. I was constantly forced to quarrel with him, to pick on the other woman, to beat her. Although I loved my father very much, I quarreled with him because my mother would not leave me alone. He understood that and ignored me. Forget about me not calling me. Not that he paid attention to me before the divorce, but we still lived together. He created a new life, he has 2 children, whom I still do not know. In addition to leaving me, he wanted to take everything in the divorce. I have literally nothing from him to this day. Over the years, my mother got used to it and stopped picking on me. But my father sometimes had outbursts of guilt and was looking for me. My mother was going crazy. To this day, he does not accept it well. I notice that he looks at me very viciously. Speak badly. I have come to terms with this situation. But my problem is that he is always compared to me. She does what I do. He works a lot, and my work has no working hours and I have a lot of free time. I travel with friends and that irritates her a lot. She didn't go anywhere, she just worked, well, I have to do the same. Or a shift wants to go somewhere, there was no one. A man doesn't want to and she's always staring at me. Although, that doesn't stop me from living my life normally, all this weighs heavily on me. Now my father has become interested in me over the years, but I prefer to leave it at that. When I try to maintain a normal relationship with him, it's as if I'm going back and it causes me a lot of pain. I love him terribly and I'm not angry with him, but maybe I'd better leave it at that. I strongly hope to create a healthy family, not like mine. I just wanted to share ....
Answers 7
Ignore them both to your own comfort zone. look at yourself. Your mother must get used to living without you. I would not look for a relationship with such a father.
Hello lovely girl! This story is as if I wrote it. I have lived in exactly the same way and I can give you some friendly advice. I will be unemotional because the pain is huge and if I can help you save it in the future, I will be one idea happier. The first thing you need to realize and ACCEPT is that there are parents who do not love their children, there are mothers who compete with their daughters, they even do it subconsciously. Mine harassed me mentally, at the same time feeding me, studying me, but all the time making me feel guilty about her unhappiness in life. This is hell! My father is focused on his new family. I will give you practical advice from the position of a mature woman with a family: 1 / Do not blame anyone for what happened and forgive your parents - this happens over time; 2 / Study and find your place in the profession; 3 / Do everyday things and set goals - sports, career; 4 / Communicate with friends and find love; 5 / You are complete and you will have a happy family; Everything else will take you out of action. The great pain is overcome with daily elementary activities, not with thinking, analysis, etc., otherwise you will get a panic disorder. Try to save yourself, even if it means reducing contact with your parents. I did this, it was very painful, but I had been in grief for many years. Read the book "Poisonous Parents" and the article "The Narcissistic Mother" - they are available on the net. For years I didn't know what was wrong with me, why I was so nervous, hot-tempered, and then I realized that I had gathered all the tension in the family. Things are very deep. Accept - you are not to blame for anything - the attitude of children towards parents is a reflection of the attitude of parents towards children. But society is cruel - "the mother is a saint", "the child is bad", and there is nothing scarier than a mother who does not love. You are not to blame for anything! Understand it! Don't be ashamed of anything, raise your head and find your man. Forgive them, love them, but find your life. Don't argue with them, don't accumulate bad karma, girl. Just gather strength in yourself that all this pain, they have made a sensible and thinking person who will create a healthy family. Your "sister" by fate! raise your head and find your man. Forgive them, love them, but find your life. Don't argue with them, don't accumulate bad karma, girl. Just gather strength in yourself that all this pain, they have made a sensible and thinking person who will create a healthy family. Your "sister" by fate! raise your head and find your man. Forgive them, love them, but find your life. Don't argue with them, don't accumulate bad karma, girl. Just gather strength in yourself that all this pain, they have made a sensible and thinking person who will create a healthy family. Your "sister" by fate!
A nightmare! I'm sorry ... :-(
How important it is for a child to be provided with a normal environment, otherwise naughty. There is no mother who envies her child, you talk nonsense. She's just a lonely woman and wants a relationship with you ...
by the author: To N2 I'm also sorry for you! .Thank you for the advice and I'm glad you managed to overcome it ... Although it's hard I have a strong character and it helped me keep myself .And because it's said that God gives us as much as we can bear, then in life we face only problems that we are able to solve. ..Be happy!:)
My mother is the same and I can say that she ruined my life and nervous system. My psyche is unstable, I have been stressed for as long as I can remember and I feel a great sense of guilt for my every action. My father left him alone and did not say a word about him out of stubbornness. She envies me that my life is easier than hers and she doesn't stop muttering - she didn't have diapers when she gave birth to me. She washed diapers all day - it makes me feel guilty. When she got married there were no dishwashers and dryers - she was left without hands to wash. Their excursions were only to the sea, and we travel often and this infuriates her to such an extent that even if the forecast was 30 degrees for the next 7 days - with our arrival the weather is spoiled and we get better by getting on the plane to return. And on vacation there are always accidents. This woman is a kind of witch. I am already married, I have 2 children and I think he will leave me alone. Nothing of the kind! He fights with neighbors, friends, relatives, taxi drivers, salesmen. No one can stand her, and she doesn't understand. She thinks she's right and that's it. A man doesn't stay with her for more than a month because she's a brawler and a nasty egoist who can't stand another opinion. My advice is to go to study elsewhere, or on a brigade, abroad, far away. Because now she's 25, but when she gets older she'll start whining that she's sick and you have to watch her. And how do you imagine your whole life to go into indulging a creature who still has no pleasure. And there is a halo of malice? Save yourself while you can My advice is to go to study elsewhere, or on a brigade, abroad, far away. Because now she's 25, but when she gets older she'll start whining that she's sick and you have to watch her. And how do you imagine your whole life to go into indulging a creature who still has no pleasure. And there is a halo of malice? Save yourself while you can My advice is to go to study elsewhere, or on a brigade, abroad, far away. Because now she's 25, but when she gets older she'll start whining that she's sick and you have to watch her. And how do you imagine your whole life to go into indulging a creature who still has no pleasure. And there is a halo of malice? Save yourself while you can
Get out and don't deal with her anymore.