So, I'm 17 years old this year, I'll be in 11th grade. I'll start a little further away so that there are no obscure things. My parents separated 2 years ago because my mother found out that my father had a mistress. After their divorce, my mother and I stayed to live with us, and he moved in with her. Not long after my mom and I were the only ones left, she started going out quite often in the evenings, which she hadn't done before, didn't look like a person who was suffering and just divorced. I don't know how either, but another man appeared in her life, they often went out together and he came home. I didn't like it very much because I hate when someone touches mine in my case my mother. Since July last year (2017) he has been living with us, in general the person does nothing to me, but he just annoys me that he lives in us. So far, I've been able to experience everything in some way, but last night my mother told me that she was pregnant and that it was planned and desired because they wanted her to have a baby. I'm very sick, I'm furious, I can't imagine that apart from him and someone else I have to share the space in us. I don't want this baby to be born, I don't want a brother or a sister, not to mention that it will be from another man ... I may sound selfish, but I have a ball next year and generally only good things and this baby will only bother me. My mother will not think about me, but about the baby ... Are I already considering going to my father? But will mom be hurt by me leaving her? What to do? I don't want this baby to be born, I don't want a brother or a sister, not to mention that it will be from another man ... I may sound selfish, but I have a ball next year and in general only good things and this baby will only bother me. My mother will not think about me, but about the baby ... Are I already considering going to my father? But will mom be hurt by me leaving her? What to do? I don't want this baby to be born, I don't want a brother or a sister, not to mention that it will be from another man ... I may sound selfish, but I have a ball next year and in general only good things and this baby will only bother me. My mother will not think about me, but about the baby ... Are I already considering going to my father? But will mom be hurt by me leaving her? What to do?
Answers 19
Don't worry, you're 17 years old. If he was 12-13 it would be different. But at 17 you have a few years to start your life, so whether your mother has another child or not does not bother you. Besides, it's better for her to have something to do than to be alone and think only of you. It will both interfere with you and make you feel guilty. So set yourself up to take things in stride. If you tell both of them that you like the prospect and you don't mind, you will make it easier for them, and even if you do, it will be more profitable for them to be happy with their second father's attitude. If you resent and quarrel, you will only have problems and nothing - out of reckless jealousy.
I'm really sorry, but expect solid insults from other commentators. I'm not insulting you - I keep the wisdom to myself because you need sympathy. But you shouldn't think so, when I read the title, I think she shouldn't cheat - no, that's perfectly right, she's divorced from your father, he also had a mistress and they weren't for each other. I think you're aggressive because you miss your father, and you think this man is almost your mother's thief. I will give you some tips: 1. Rest, all the tension has ruined you. Get some sleep, meditate, go out with friends, etc. Get rid of fatigue and get ready for the school year. 2. When you calm down, it will be good to go for a walk, a restaurant or just sit at home, get together and say that you are not ready for a sister / brother and a new father. Do not insult or edify, no matter how difficult it is for you. Just say, that everything has come to you more - they will hardly run to beat you if you tell them kindly, right? They will hug you ... Get used to this person, he can be kind and caring despite your expectations. But even if it's a beast, your mother is happy with it - accept that. 3. Having a little sister / little brother is a horror for you, but that's all I dream about! But my parents, no matter how much they earn (which is a lot), got married 10 years later than in principle and were now old for another child ... My story. I recommend you read articles about how cool it is to have a brother or sister, love the child - it will be hellishly sweet and you have no idea how much he will love you! I shivered when a kid from the block called me HOW LILY, HOW ARE YOU? But there is really no one to call me poop. I don't have a brother or sister. But you will have, wow! 4. And last but not least, do not pay attention to the hatred in this or that story, in this or that site. You have a new family, for God's sake, they will envy you! You will be envied that you have a new father who adores you to compensate for your grief for your biological father. You have your mother, if you want to go to your biological father! And in 9 months they will have a cute baby who will love you from the first hug! You are lucky, write when you are born, will you be happy now? Only time will tell ... Lily will you be happy now Only time will tell ... Lily will you be happy now Only time will tell ... Lily
Don't be so indifferent, don't be selfish but don't get confused. if you were 13-14 I would attack you, but I have no right to do so I would advise you to be independent - you are almost an adult at 17 and I believe that sooner or later you will accept things
Support your mother, rejoice for her, the world does not revolve only around you
Hi, what exactly is bothering you? By the time the baby is born, you will be 18. You will be "hindered" for 1-2 years until you finish 12th grade, and then it's your turn to move out of the house and start living independently, away from mom :) You know. what do I mean - university, with it a dormitory / accommodation, later a job ... you don't intend to live with your mother until you turn 30? It's not good to be a mother's son (sorry for the health, if it sounds too sharp). I think you should be happy for your mother - imagine her now suffering, not for herself from your father's betrayal, hysterical, screaming at you - who are you dating; why are you going out; look at your grades; what is this girl, get her out of my house and similar nonsense and outbursts of jealousy about your friends and your personal time. You could be the only person in her life now and treat you like a lifeline in a stream - do you want that? Do you have NO time for yourself? Instead, the woman has overcome all this, she wants to start a new family - don't hinder her just because "I hate when someone touches mine in my mother's case." Your mother is not a thing. If she is happy, you should be happy for her, at least because you are no longer a small child. I'm not saying you have to love her boyfriend, but look at things realistically and answer one of the most important questions - is there a real reason why you hate this person? Without him, would your mother be happier? I think the answer is no, what do you think? Focus on your life, think about what you want to do, what you want to learn, where you want to learn it, what will you be able to do after learning something, will it be profitable enough, what are you interested in, what do you dream about, what places do you want to visit around the world, etc., etc. Think of YOURSELF, but not selfishly, but perspectively - about what YOU can do, not what your mother could have given you if it weren't for the baby (and especially the money for it). If your mother hadn't "saved" herself with this new relationship, you would have had to think about her as well. It gives you a great chance to build your life calmly and freely. Don't waste it :) About the ball - night like night, only more formal. In one of the photos you will hug your brother / sister, big deal. One day you will look back and laugh at your current worries. Despite everything I've written, I think you're horrified that the moment in your life is coming, in which you stop being a child and start going your own way and that has nothing to do with your mother and baby. You are confused because you do not know where the wind will take you, you have too many questions about yourself and life in general. Every sane person at this age goes through this, even if he does not realize it. What worries you is that just when you least believe in yourself and take the first independent steps in your life, your mother will not be with you, but with the baby. This is not the case - she will not forget you, she will not stop loving you. You will always be her child, even if you are 40 years old. Look at the good side of things, think about your future, set goals, achieve them. One day your family will rely on you, so be a man from an early age, not just mom's eldest son, as most boys are today ... Your student years are coming - parties, adventures, entertainment and there will be no one to bother you, because your mother will look after a baby instead of calling you in half an hour to ask you if you had lunch and if you changed the sheets. Think positive and smart. - Girl, 20 years old.
And I thought that such a mania exists only from parents to children. Ask God to turn the universe around you again, and naaaai your most important evening-BALA! Delete a ticket of the National Lottery, you just win 1000 BGN for a dress and you will allow your mother to have a child :)
Ehh, let's just say I've been out of the house, you're going to be a student, aren't you, God forbid. It is good to separate from yours and be in a dormitory or accommodation. Now is the time to learn to be more independent. You go your own way and this is normal, so you will not be permanent, but only briefly with yours. Let your mother build her own life, as you will! Support each other and be a support for each other!
I have two brothers from another father and I love them unconditionally. Having a brother or sister is very nice, later in life you will be a support, friends. He or she will look to you as a role model and you will have someone to pass on the things you have learned. Plus, having a small child in the house is always fun. Look at it from the positive side. I never think of my brothers as foreign children, by a foreign father. We grew up in a womb. And you are big now, you have your own life - friends, hobbies, this or that. They will hardly expect you to take care of the baby. Don't worry about your mother's attention - a mother's heart is big and there is room for everyone, just because she will have another child does not mean that she will love you less.
Your mother will not be hurt at all that you leave her (as if you were a husband). Still not alone;)
Your attitude is jealous and selfish. At 18, get out of here and let your mother be happy. Find yourself a boyfriend and I focused on my own relationship. This malice is completely unnecessary.
Abe honestly, your mother is also very selfish and short-sighted as a woman - children with a difference of 17 years? !! I don't think it's ok. Too soon after the divorce, a new relationship and pregnancy ... most likely this second child will look after him alone. She wants to keep the new man with a child, because she can't do without a man, and her child, the first one, is in the background. A complete egoist is your mother and you are right. For her, sex is more important than anything else, and that is the bare truth.
Your problem comes from the fact that you think that your mother will no longer think about you, but about the baby ... This is not true at all. There is always another place in the mother's heart. She will always love you and you will be her first child. At the moment she is with a person with whom they want to have a child - what could be better than that. You will see that you worry in vain. It is very nice to have a brother or sister and to have a person with whom to share and help each other in life, despite your big difference, because blood is not water ... and parents are not eternal. My children are 10 years apart and yet now, after years, they are much sought after and supported. Calm down and rejoice in it. And you are at an age when you will be independent and you will have your own life ... So leave your mother and husband to have this joy. And without that, this country needs people ..
Number 7 I forgot to mention that the author is a boy and not a girl, so I was confused
And I'm about your age and I have a brother from another father. I love him more than my own brother, because very often we are just the two of us and we take care of each other - me for everything and he for my mood (he is very obedient and always does what I tell him.)
I am from the author - a girl
You wrote "sounds like selfish," so we assumed you were a boy. Girls seem to be more prone to jealousy than future children - even if they have a common mother and father.
Number 19 or the author I do not believe you are a girl but anyway I will not argue. My mother and uncle are 15 years apart and my mother used to be against having another child in my grandmother's family. This happened in 1984, when my great uncle got drunk and became jealous. However, what happened was the birth of my uncle and my mother was happy despite the initial reaction. Now she is proud to have a brother despite the 15-year age difference
Number 20 author is a girl but I can't believe something was written by a girl. sounds more like a boy written. I will not argue
I also have this problem at the moment.