My mother left me when I was 4 years old and went abroad to work, my father and I didn't get along at all and that's why they separated, and I stayed with my grandparents. My father doesn't take any care of me, he doesn't care about me and the worst thing is that in a few years he just shows up in my life, turns him upside down and leaves. As for my mother, she was left alone abroad so she could feed me. Over the years she has had several unsuccessful relationships with men and she is generally alone, no one helps her and she always manages everything on her own, for which I admire her terribly much. I love her, I respect her, I appreciate her and I enjoy everything she has given me, and most of all I appreciate the fact that she sacrificed herself for me with the woman and everything. As far as her attitude towards me is, it's not rosy, I don't want to make her a monster, yes, it happens to everyone to lose their temper and say something wrong, especially when you were away from your child, you left him only at a very fragile age and he is already standing in front of you grown up and almost taking his life in his hands. But there is the problem that I can no longer tolerate this loss of nerves towards me.
She doesn't want me to go out, either with friends or alone (in this case I have a friend) late at night, and during the day I'm at school, she wants me to pay full attention to her when she tells me something, to keep her words as a life-threatening law. me, and still be always available 24 hours a day. When she argued with me, she talked to me about all sorts of things, insulted me in an inhuman way, beat me, threatened me (against money, personal life and that she would send me to my father), and we get there , more precisely from that day until today, with this, that she started telling me (shouting) what she had been thinking for a long time, that I was an unnecessary expense, that I wasn't worth it, that I was rubbish and nothing was happening to me, that I was the same as my father and what other insults.
This bothers me a lot already and in another such case, I just don't know what else to do or say. I am killed by the fact that these things are told to me by my own mother and not by someone else. I am killed by the fact that everyone who knows me praises me and knows how good a child and girl I am, that I have so many awards that everyone I know respects me and has a good opinion of me, and the teachers just love me ...
Please give some advice to me, I can't stand this harassment and I'm just thinking of getting out of her life because I have the feeling that I'm just bothering her. that I am the same as my father and what other insults. This bothers me a lot already and in another such case I just don't know what else to do or say. I am killed by the fact that these things are told to me by my own mother and not by someone else. I am killed by the fact that everyone who knows me praises me and knows how good a child and girl I am, that I have so many awards that everyone I know respects me and has a good opinion of me, and the teachers just love me ... Please give I have some advice, I can't stand this harassment and I'm just thinking of getting out of her life, because I have the feeling that I'm just bothering her. that I am the same as my father and what other insults. This bothers me a lot already and in another such case I just don't know what else to do or say. I am killed by the fact that these things are told to me by my own mother and not by someone else. I am killed by the fact that everyone who knows me praises me and knows how good a child and girl I am, that I have so many awards that everyone I know respects me and has a good opinion of me, and the teachers just love me ...
Please give I have some advice, I can't stand this harassment and I'm just thinking of getting out of her life, because I have the feeling that I'm just bothering her.
Answers 17
No, get the animal out of your life. Think of what a filthy scumbag he is ruthlessly abusing his own family. When you realize that mommy is such a dog, you come to the conclusion that such creatures have no place next to you. If he gives enough money, he suffers (only for now); if she gives 10 euros a month, tell her to fuck you. Sounds like a joke, it's not. In the long run, this kind of people are harmful, and quite a lot (you already feel it). Let him "work" on the highway abroad, but let him not torture his family. The scumbag is a scumbag - use it as much as you can, then with a stone in your spine.
Your mother has a mental disorder. Isn't there a way to live only with your grandparents or with some other relatives? If you are graduating from school now, it's easy - you find a job, you study, it's just MANDATORY in your case to go out and see how everything will work out for you. But if you still have to live together, there is a phone for children at risk where they can help you. Being offended is reason enough to do so. YOU have to be safe and YOU have to think about yourself, no matter how close she is to you, she is dangerous to you due to her deviations - you don't know what she can do tomorrow. There are many families with similar problems, the important thing is for YOU to be able to save yourself, I know that it is difficult and at times hopeless, but there is always a way, don't forget it !!! Once you separate and are safe - try to keep the good moments together and monitor the mental state of your mother, but from a distance. When meeting her, ALWAYS take someone with you! As for the insults - no matter what words you hear or will hear in the future, it does not mean that she does not love you, it all comes from her mental problem, it is quite possible that she does not even realize what she is saying. Be strong and try not to put her words to heart at all, they are due to her condition. It would be good for her to visit a specialist, but maybe your grandparents can convince her. To be safe, try to avoid conflicts when meeting her, no matter how difficult - so as not to unlock these deviations from her. Be prepared for any reactions, so you should ALWAYS have someone with you and remember that you are losing touch with reality, ie. don't take her every word for granted. But BEFORE EVERYTHING, think about your security and a way to live separately !!! If you can do it by common consent even better, and if not - find help from child protection phones.
If you're rubbish, why do all men run away from it? Turn 18 and run away from her with a break in contact, as everyone else does
Maybe she wasn't ready for children when she gave birth. In principle, a parent has the best child and would do anything for him. These words do not fit into my understanding of a loving parent. That children are an expense, that's right.
I did not understand how old you are? But the important thing is, strange as it may sound - do not take it personally and inwardly, I know it is difficult, but believe me, in the end we are all smarter, some when they get sick, others before they die, others come to their senses in time, although rarer cases. Accept that her life has made her what she is and that she has personal reasons for her behavior. You see your behavior and try to be what you think is good, as your conscience tells you - what is good and what is not, and the behavior of your mother and people in general - you can not control or demand if it does not happen , does not happen by force. You can think about why she is like that, why her attitude is like that, and accept that she is a good soul, but also a person with the pain she is trying to deal with, obviously in the wrong way. Be good to yourself and to her, and do not be tormented,
Your mother has no right to take it on you. It's certainly not easy for her, but if she didn't want a child, she had an abortion on time, not talking to you now. Your mother will be sorry, because when you grow up you will not pay attention to her, and she will expect it almost presumably. When you turn 18, you move out with your boyfriend to a place to stay, or if you are no longer with him, with a girlfriend or boyfriend, and you start some work. The other option is that the next time she starts beating you or insulting you, you will punch her in the face. Also call her. Just because she gave birth to you doesn't mean she can use you as a mat. Beat it as hard as you can, to make it feel a little. I don't understand why some people make children and then blame them and blame them when you are least to blame for her miserable life and the careless choices in it.
Don't think you're the only one. This is literally what I and all my friends have. That even more seriously. It is obviously a bad tactic and reaction of the parents. I hope we don't become like that
To put it this way, her life must be very, very hardcore. Think about how difficult it is for her! She must expect a lot of love from you and it has many dimensions.
Parents sometimes, in their malice and stupidity, do not realize what nonsense they are talking about. After years, however, they become aware and want to be paid attention. When, of course, you grew up. And sorry for life.
"I don't know", "I can't", "I don't want", "I don't
For me, this is not my mother's behavior, no matter how white I was, my mother never beat or insulted me. Sit down and talk to her so it's best not to rush your decisions!
Such mothers better not have children, how will she tell you that you are an unnecessary expense - can she be heard talking about them. Your mother is wrong
I don't think your mother thinks those things she told you. This is her belated attempt at upbringing. She wasn't with you, she doesn't know you. Therefore, her upbringing is not in accordance with what you are, but with what she is afraid of not becoming or that you have become - to go after boys and ruin your life. Talk to her. Tell her how offended you are. Tell her that you appreciate everything she has done for you and that her efforts have not been in vain. That people who know you appreciate you, and you hope she gets to know you too.
Once again, I am convinced that not everyone should be given the right to be a parent.
Congratulations on keeping good and trying hard at school, keep up the good work! I am convinced that your mother does not really think these things, if she thought them - she would not help you. By no means, but really don't put them to heart, I'll explain why ... It could be a mental problem, it could be burnt out by stress and he doesn't know what he's talking about. It is also possible that she is afraid of going down a bad path, of not making her mistakes, so she says such things to scare you kind of ... She probably thinks that with this you will come to your senses and you will not go out, you will not you get married too early and recklessly, to go the wrong way without thinking about how these words sound ... Be careful not to get into conflicts and consider whether you can live only with your grandparents. By no means run away from home, because you can end up in the crime news, it's extremely dangerous, I guess you've heard of human trafficking, don't do nonsense !!! If the situation is really very difficult, you can call the specialized phones ... Write how old you are, if you are approaching 18 - you need to find a way to work and live separately! As long as these are in order - try not to quarrel, gain her trust, calmly explain to her that you are grateful to her, that you will not go the wrong way and you will try to realize yourself and be calm for you. Tell her that she hurts you with bad words and not to do it again, she was not right to attack you and show her that you are already big and can trust you. Tell her that you want to get along well and there is no point in insults - they only make things worse, show that you are trying to keep everything right. Embrace her and try good, expect any reactions, but at least try! Reassure her that you will not follow in your father's footsteps and that you have goals and dreams, you strive for something good and there is nothing to worry about! If you want to go out - reassure her that you will not drink, you will not do anything wrong, if you have to call her in half an hour that you are fine, go home to the hour when you agreed ... If you gain her trust and she she will start to behave better and be calm for you. Write - is there a development ??? If you gain her trust, she will start behaving better and be calm for you. Write - is there a development ??? If you gain her trust, she will start behaving better and be calm for you. Write - is there a development ???
Hello, I am 16 years old and first I want to thank for the advice, including the person who made a remark about my spelling, I say it because then I was angry, it was raining outside and the phone was ringing from the drops :) I comment because I want to share that so far my mother and I have a wonderful relationship and everything is going well. I also forgot to mention that after each quarrel, we apologized to each other, just each of us had a situation where he argued with his parents and just wanted to pour out his soul and someone to hear it. And one piece of advice from me, love your parents, respect them in spite of everything, they are not eternal and when we lose them, then we realize everything :)
I am in more or less the same situation but with my father.