Hi, I'm a 15 year old girl. My mother and father have always insulted me since I was a child. "Cattle, sheep, the worst child, bastard, no one wants you, we fight only for you" and much more. I was also constantly compared to other children. And my mother keeps blaming me. She has always done it and still does. I can not take it anymore. I'm going crazy! Every time we quarrel over something, the worst person makes me cry, starts roaring, sulking, says that sometimes he will throw himself off the balcony, that one day I will lose her and whether I will be better off without my mother. I literally did nothing to her and she starts with these stories and insults and then with her greatest impudence she gets angry and roars as if I am to blame. Every look of hers confuses my soul and I have the feeling that I have done something again. Now, even with friends, I measure my stories, because I have the feeling that if I say something wrong and they will make me bad and I will feel hellishly guilty. And he does not accept any criticism. I always tell the truth, I never lie, and she constantly lies to me about some things. I ask her why she is lying to me and come again "How dare you make me a liar, I do everything for you, you insult me". And it starts with "bastard, sheep", etc. They are some hypocrites.
At home they are nasty, outside in front of others they are the nicest .... And they always tell me that I should not say what I really think I should treat well with those I do not like, but in mind, if I want to curse them. Emmy, that's not right for me. Why do I have to pretend to be something I am not? They just totally confuse me. And I also understand that I'm a bad kid who doesn't go home, but I study, I only have 6 children, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I hardly go out anymore because I am depressed because of them. They ruin my self-esteem. I also started having panic attacks a year ago. I almost ran out of friends ... And please don't attack me and I feel terrible anyway. What to do???
Answers 16
There is nothing you can do. There are a lot of such topics here, I'm 30 and my parents were and still are. Things go well when you move out. Mine made fun of me on the condition that everything was ok with me and now I realize that they are just unhappy and kill complexes in this way. I can only tell you to grit your teeth, what matters is what you think of yourself, they can't hurt you if you know that what they say is not true! My goal is to study and quickly find your way to a lucrative profession or university degree. You don't have to explain or tell them anything, because then they will make fun of you even more.
In 3 years you are moving out! Alpha, w. 30 years
Hi, Just keep going, don't take everything said for granted. You grow and build as a person. Mothers think of you as a child, they show a protective reaction towards you. Insults to you kill her complexes. Raise your head, keep studying and follow your ambitions. You are not bad, you are growing. Have a conversation with your mother, explain how you accept the attacks on you. A parent is not a monster.
Let me guess-scorpio zodiac sign?
I was the same way, even worse than you. It was like that from a very young age, my parents did not have the opportunity to give me money for school and I stopped studying, I was not an excellent student and they compared me to others. Naturally I wanted to change something and I started working at home, I stayed for a while and most of the time I was at work, so I avoided quarrels and so on. Then I started making my own money and I even gave it to them and everything changed, both you and they have to rely on you.
Horror. It's worse for you than it is for me. The difference is that I'm 30 and I don't live with them. I've been going to a psychologist for a long time. Today, the heretical thought began to pass through me that my psyche was beaten because of my closest person - my mother. It inspires guilt non-stop and distorts my view of the world. He says he must go to a psychologist. If it's for your health. But when I said I told the psychologist that you were cutting me off and you were still busy, when I wanted to talk, I shouted. Tiii and your psychological nonsense. You're just reading nonsense ... he told me today that I was an idiot and he didn't stop screaming. does not want to make a gram of effort to change. She shouts about everything she doesn't like. I could have no claims, only she could to me. I told her we were going to end our relationship, but she didn't care. She thinks she's right and you either have to lick her legs or you're on the right track. Everything should be as she wants. She ends the conversation when she decides. She constantly closes me demonstratively, as I do on her. In general, we tease each other. I have low self-esteem. The problem with me is that I am like a masochist. I only fall in love with people who harass me. I am constantly dealing at the level of acquaintances, even with people who reject me. Not only that, I apologize to them and look for mistakes only in myself. My mistake is to cover them at all. But how can I be normal when I'm not ... any rejection traumatizes me even more. I alternate between depression and euphoria. I'm either in a good mood or depressed, never in a normal state. A normal person and a telecom to tie him up in five minutes will pass. I haven't had it in days. I was upset last night and he's still holding me. By three in the afternoon, I was just staring at bodies, reading and complaining. I complain endlessly. I enter psychological states. From which I find it difficult to get out. It's as if I have no will and I give up ... I'm dragging. I'm getting tired of resisting. Bad thoughts revolve non-stop ... My life seems black, isn't depression exactly that? I have no desire for many things. Then something happens and I cycle ... To the next hole. And yes, I'm in a hole. I don't know what brought me here. Maybe she helped me get here with the brutal way of imposing.
Be yourself! We have always told my child the truth and we have taught him to do so! Your parents need to understand that you are an individual and have your own character and values. Reading your story is like you are the parent and they are the children. He will become a man of you, you know :)
Your parents have a mental disorder for which you are not to blame. Your mother is obviously more so than your father. Thank God you're "normal" and intelligent enough to realize how things are. You understand that there is no way to change this negativism that comes from them. So, you just have to put up with them. It is a waste of time and nerves to deal with them. It is unlikely that your mother will change without adequate treatment. What you can do is stop hearing them and isolate their stories. You can also try an ultimatum: tell them that once again if they insult you, you will stop talking to them until they apologize, and actually punish them with silence. Apparently they hate to show such an attitude towards their own child. Also talk to the school psychologist about how to approach it, to preserve your psyche. Seek love from friends and other relatives, and most importantly love yourself. Trust your own feelings of right and wrong, your own worth, keep to yourself. Be in touch with others, look for more friends, do not shut yourself in and at home. Do not regret, but look ahead, they are just sick and mentally impaired.
I am a man of 36, my father is 85, my mother is 70. For as long as I can remember, they have treated me in a similar way and still do. They make a victim and blame me for all their pain. They constantly tease me how incompetent, clumsy I am and how they should have done everything in their old age. By everything they understand - to dig up the garden in the village, to plant onions and tomatoes and similar nonsense. I have a high income and I am very busy dealing with them. I give them enough money to support themselves and not have to work at all. But they still accuse me of not helping them ... If I scold them, they start to bleed, I would tire them, etc. Let me just clarify that for many years I struggled with the low self-esteem that they had trampled on in my childhood. This is the worst consequence of such parents.
For a start, find an activity that will at least help you calm down and release the tension. Whether it's sports, painting, dancing, or something else, it doesn't matter. Just something that you enjoy and unloads. Then talk to the school psychologist, because it's starting to get on your nerves. Finally, prepare when you turn 18 or when you finish moving out of yourself! Whether you will find a job, whether you will go to study in another city, the important thing is to leave! This is not life!
And I was like that - a pig, clumsy, simple, rude. I even made a career, but for them I am the same cattle that I was not accepted by Architecture. Well, I finally moved out, there is no other way out. My mother kept telling me that I had ruined her life because my father was patient because of me. Well, I was left without children and without a family from such "upbringing".
Your parents are unhappy and complex. And that's why they are the only ones to blame. One day you will live alone, separately and independently and they will suffer for you and blame themselves, believe me!
I suggest you play the following theater, but in order for everything to fit the role, you will probably have to wait until the summer vacation. Write them the following letter: Dear parents, lately I have been wondering more and more whether you are really right for me. What if I'm really a sheep and an idiot! How much torment I have caused you, how much shame you have taken for me! I accept that it may be so, and my heart overflows with pain that I don't deserve you. Isn't it better to disappear from the face of the world with dignity than to continue to disgrace you and be a burden to you? I don't know if I have the strength to do this and I still hope that I can become a more meek sheep and a less idiot. So I decided to take a vow of silence and prepare to be a nun. I intend to spend the rest of my life in a convent after I finish school, to pray to God for the forgiveness of my sins to you. Please support me and pray for me. Then disappear somewhere for a day, and when you come back give it a little more apathetic and humble, do not say a word and do not leave you at all for 1-2 months. If your mother and father aren't scared that they've driven you crazy and don't start looking at you like a painted egg, then they're egati bastards and then you don't care what they tell you.
Thank you very much! Number 13, it really made me laugh, I might try: D
Play their game. Speak and answer them well, and what you think and do is your job. Bet on learning so you can be financially independent and out. Ignore all the bad things you are told, believe that you are a good and exemplary child who does not deserve this and do not allow yourself to be crushed, on the contrary. Make friends and get closer to people. Maybe a friend will take the place of family and you will feel understood. And you don't know, you can go out with a friend one day
Study, grit your teeth for another three years and go to study in another city. Then find a job and do it yourself. The less you see them, the better in the future.