Hello, I am a 20-year-old girl, I have a friend of 5 years but 4 months ago I went to work abroad, I still live with my parents and they interfere too much in my life and do not let me do what I want. Now I want to go to my friend for 10 days, because he can't come, but they think they should let me go. How to normally explain to them that I am 20 years old and I can decide for myself, as I do not want money from them or anything to go. I'm sure they won't agree, but I want to go, we've been together for 5 years, I don't see anything wrong with going for 10 days, I'm not going permanently. Please give me advice on how to approach them.
Answers 10
They will not accept you as an adult if you do not behave as such. I moved out, started working and paying bills, and instantly my parents' attitude changed. They looked at me under the hood for almost 20 years, then it seemed wrong to hang on to them, to ask for permission, to ask for pocket money, not to pay bills, not to take my life in my hands. They had requirements for me like what time to go home, I understood them, I still lived under their roof. At one point I stopped asking them if I could do something, I tried to ask them for their opinion, I always listened to their words, but I made my own decisions because I had fought for some financial and emotional independence. In the evening I sat with them and we talked about all sorts of topics, I thought they needed to understand that I have an opinion about things. Then they started asking me how I thought about a situation. I had put a barrier, I realize that I am to blame, but for a long time I did not accept them as friends, but as bosses. There is no way to get by with such views. I was always embarrassed to tell them something, they were always thinking the opposite, we were arguing and we came to a dead end. The same cycle hundreds of times. Change your attitude towards them, let them see that you have grown up. You will always be accepted as a child if you shake at least and do not argue well. we fought and came to a dead end. The same cycle hundreds of times. Change your attitude towards them, let them see that you have grown up. You will always be accepted as a child if you shake at least and do not argue well. we fought and came to a dead end. The same cycle hundreds of times. Change your attitude towards them, let them see that you have grown up. You will always be accepted as a child if you shake hands at least and do not argue well.
People are just worried. Whatever things they have heard and watched about what is happening to young girls abroad, it is understandable to worry
Dear author, you can only do one thing - go. You don't ask their permission, you just let them know (not to wonder where you are, and still have someone to look for you if something goes wrong) and you leave. Because I know people in their 40s who still want permission from mom and dad to go home in the dark ... This is definitely not the case. I stopped asking for permission and went into "notification" mode at 15, not that I had been denied permission before (or at least I don't remember). Success!
Indeed, if you have been walking for 5 years, you should know him quite well and trust him. Therefore to let you go. It's not like you've been dating for a few months - then I would agree with your parents' worries. Tell them something like that ... If you have to agree to call them every day on the phone or on the Internet to make a video call. However, keep that promise so that they can trust you in the future.
What if at 20 you still ask your parents' can I go to my friend for 10 days? 'No wonder they don't let you go. Get a ticket, pack your bags, and say a few hours before they leave: I'm going to my friend's, I'll be back sometime. Besides, if I were you, I would stay with him permanently. Why you live apart. In any country other than Albania it is certainly better than BG.
Number 5, because I'm studying medicine here, I don't think I should drop my education
Well, stop asking them for their opinion on everything! You go, buy a ticket and leave! Don't be small to ask their permission! And it is best to find a job and get out of you, otherwise they will continue to treat you like a child, because they will think that once they provide you with a roof over your head, you must comply with their rules. By law, you become an adult at 18, but in order to grow up you really have to become independent and accordingly take life in your hands, which of course goes with a lot of responsibilities.
I work, but what I have chosen does not allow me to find a good lucrative job to move out of the house, I have thought about it a million times because I want to be alone, but accommodation is not cheap, I have to give up studying to I can work and support myself completely.
Look, a person who is your age is writing to you and has no personal space out of kindness to his parents. I can say that after so many attempts to fix things, to behave well, to explain, to ask permission from them, etc., only quarrels were reached and the situation is still the same. I advise you, as a person who has experienced it, to tell them firmly what you want, no matter their opinion, and if it is - to go, then do it without feeling sick or sorry for them! If you have been with this boy for so long, don't let them stop you, because you obviously love each other and one day you will deeply regret that you listened to your parents, strange as it may sound, because it is true - parents are parents, but one day they there will be none and your future will be ruined!
Yes, number 9, I'm sorry too, I haven't done many things for them many times, because they don't like it. Thank you and everyone for the advice, things have improved. Thank you again.