Hello, I am 26 years old of Roma origin and with homosexual tendencies. I am different from other Roma because I am literate and have a good education. For many years I tried to change in order to adapt to this society, but I could not become hetero. I have already accepted that this is me, after reading a lot of information about homosexuality. I am now happy as I am. I don't flaunt my sexuality, but I think people like us when we're not ourselves and we play roles. Several people know about me. Being gay and rum is hard, friends. My parents don't know, they are good people. I know, understand and realize that they think the best of me. Love them! They are great! They did a lot for me! They take exceptional care of me and have always helped me. But there is one big BUT! They have different understandings, I tried several times to hint to them that I am different, and some dramas begin, what will people say, are there any doctors, great shame, we will surely marry you. And I deny just to shut up, you just can't explain anything to some people. Since December, my problems have gotten bigger and bigger. They are determined to marry me this year. They harass me emotionally. Soon a woman contacted us, she found me a girl from the village, the girl is in 7th grade, and she wrote to me on Facebook, she writes to me every day. Theirs contacted ours, there was no problem that I was big, she would listen to me. I liked myself, I was smart, intelligent, I saw my posts on Facebook. And they are waiting for an answer, they would not press me for them, it was normal for them to get married at 15. I'm wondering what to do. I plan to run away from my parents.
They will not accept me, they will not understand me. They think, that I will only be happy if I live the way they want. And I don't want that. Sometimes I even think of getting married, I will have a child, I will throw it in their hands and I will leave this girl. But I'm not like that, even though I want a child, this girl is decent, and she has dreams, plans, she wants a good future family. If I got married, I would immediately enroll her to continue her education. I don't have a gypsy mentality and gypsy thinking. That's why I don't get along with gypsies. In general, the situation of gay people in Bulgaria is bad. I love ours, I don't want to disappoint them. But I can't live their lives and fulfill their dreams. What would you do in my place? If I don't get married again, I think I'll be sorry. I expect decent comments. Please no offense I will make a child, I will throw it in their hands and I will leave this girl. But I'm not like that, even though I want a child, this girl is decent, and she has dreams, plans, she wants a good future family. If I got married, I would immediately enroll her to continue her education. I don't have a gypsy mentality and gypsy thinking. That's why I don't get along with gypsies. In general, the situation of gay people in Bulgaria is bad. I love ours, I don't want to disappoint them. But I can't live their lives and fulfill their dreams. What would you do in my place? If I don't get married again, I think I'll be sorry. I expect decent comments. Please no offense I will make a child, I will throw it in their hands and I will leave this girl. But I'm not like that, even though I want a child, this girl is decent, and she has dreams, plans, she wants a good future family. If I got married, I would immediately enroll her to continue her education. I don't have a gypsy mentality and gypsy thinking. That's why I don't get along with gypsies. In general, the situation of gay people in Bulgaria is bad. I love ours, I don't want to disappoint them. But I can't live their lives and fulfill their dreams. What would you do in my place? If I don't get married again, I think I'll be sorry. I expect decent comments. Please no offense If I got married, I would immediately enroll her to continue her education. I don't have a gypsy mentality and gypsy thinking. That's why I don't get along with gypsies. In general, the situation of gay people in Bulgaria is bad. I love ours, I don't want to disappoint them. But I can't live their lives and fulfill their dreams. What would you do in my place? If I don't get married again, I think I'll be sorry. I expect decent comments. Please no offense If I got married, I would immediately enroll her to continue her education. I don't have a gypsy mentality and gypsy thinking. That's why I don't get along with gypsies. In general, the situation of gay people in Bulgaria is bad. I love ours, I don't want to disappoint them. But I can't live their lives and fulfill their dreams. What would you do in my place? If I don't get married again, I think I'll be sorry. I expect decent comments. Please no offense
Answers 14
I am a racist to most Roma for a number of reasons and I avoid giving advice, but I make an exception because you wrote it well and competently, more than 40% of the visitors, and you have a good conscience. My personal opinion is that you should not listen to them. Do not listen to people or those of your origin, because almost everyone has the same thinking - stereotypical. It is very difficult for them to understand others and to accept them at all (some shy away from me because I like both sexes). As you said - the people in Bulgaria are conservative, they are not like in the west. I'm not sure what your traditions are, but as far as I know as a rum it's much harder to get a divorce once you get married - I think it's mentality. And you shouldn't abandon her, if you get married when you have a child - it's moral, and you set a bad example for your child in the future, as well as an occasion for your parents to blame you for something else and almost for doctors to look for you. I think they should accept it, not hit you with a girl (I think it's just pushing the girl in your arms). We are not generations back, so it is unacceptable not to have a person next to you, or to have other inclinations. Don't marry her if you don't want to, follow your heart and brain in this case - then no matter how different and unhappy you are from others, you will be cruelly sorry, you may even be rejected by those around you. I wish you the best of luck :) or to have other inclinations. Don't marry her if you don't want to, follow your heart and brain in this case - then no matter how different and unhappy you are, you will be cruelly sorry, you may even be rejected by those around you. I wish you the best of luck :) or to have other inclinations. Don't marry her if you don't want to, follow your heart and brain in this case - then no matter how different and unhappy you are, you will be cruelly sorry, you may even be rejected by those around you. I wish you the best of luck :)
If you are a rum ... by no means tell yours that you have turned the thread, they will make you tremble ...
Hello! The story is written wonderfully, for which congratulations. It proves again that education is paramount to our communication with the world and the first impression. As a gay man who has thought about these things, I will tell you only one thing - your personal happiness is in your hands and it must come first. You are responsible for your own destiny and direct your life. In the second place is the responsibility for the happiness of others and how my happiness does not interfere with theirs. But in no case interfere with your happiness. You're as gay as I am - no one can say whether we'll ever get together with our spouses or live with fleeting encounters. But in both cases there is no place for women. I know it's hard for you to make such a decision, believe me, but don't deceive the girl, let her seek her happiness, don't deceive yourself either. If you need to talk about this with an experienced person, there are several organizations that will be happy to help you. For example single step. People there are trained in counseling LGBT members. They even have family consultations. I believe they can be useful to you. Chase your happiness, friend. Success! :) Male at 22
What if you don't get married? Sometimes people in your situation marry a lesbian in front of people. They take her to a party with the old people, they are supposed to be a family, then everyone goes home. But if you can without this theater, better. I can't imagine being forced to marry you, big man
I'm not a gypsy and I can hardly put myself in your shoes, but if you don't want to get married, it's best to move to live elsewhere. Unfortunately, it will be difficult for yours to accept you as you are (I remember how it was especially important for my grandmother what people would say, and she was an educated and intelligent woman). The other way is to play the role of someone else for the rest of your life, which will be a complete loss :-( I don't know what you do, but if you go to a big city or abroad, it will be easier for you to organize your life cleanly. intelligent and not like most gypsies, you obviously don't belong there, because these people obviously won't understand you
In general, the attitude towards homosexuals in Bulgaria is not very good, especially among older people. There are still many people who look askance if you do not fit into the "norms". In the West, this is not the case, everyone lives their own lives and people are more understanding. I'm straight, but I have a lot of gay friends who live happily ever after. They do not flaunt their sexuality, but they do not hide. Don't listen to your parents. It is clear that they think well of you and want to marry you so that you do not stand alone. They think this is the best from their point of view, they can't put themselves in your place. They don't understand how you don't like women like that. Look now, your husband is 26 years old. Don't live for others, love yourself. After all, your parents want you to be happy. So be happy the way you know. You know best what makes you happy. Just think how dumb and sad it would be to marry a girl on account. Neither you nor she will be happy. She will expect you to like her and want her, but it will not be so. And you will dream of being with someone else and you will not be able to. Or you will have to hide. Stupid job. Don't argue with your parents, invent something that you found a job in another city and disappear. Then you will just call them on the phone from time to time and go to see each other on holidays. But you will be free to organize your life as you wish. You are young, life is in front of you. Do not waste your happiness and live to please others. Love yourself as you are. After all, the most important thing is whether a person is good and decent. Everything else doesn't matter, sexual orientations and the like are personal matters and no one has the right to ask you for an account. Why be sorry if you don't get married? The most important thing in a marriage is to have love. Well, there's no point in marrying someone you don't love. It's one thing to respect a woman, to be nice to her because she's good ... But it's quite another to be in love. There is no point in marrying without love. Here in the west, homosexuals get married. Also, don't worry, you can always change your mind and in a few years be determined to get married and have children. It is not a problem for men to get married late. It is more problematic in women due to biological reasons. Also, don't worry, you can always change your mind and in a few years be determined to get married and have children. It is not a problem for men to get married late. It is more problematic in women due to biological reasons. Also, don't worry, you can always change your mind and in a few years be determined to get married and have children. It is not a problem for men to get married late. It is more problematic in women due to biological reasons.
Man, your story grabs you with the first sentence :)
I admit that if you were Bulgarians, I would think differently. But knowing how gypsies sell their daughters early on, without choosing so well to whom, I think about the girl. You may be the best party to appear on his horizon. You will not make him steal, prostitute or give birth to a hundred children for help. Why do you feel pressured to decide without seeing each other live? Wouldn't your parents accept your refusal if you just didn't like it? If you like it and share what you are, the decision will be his. I know such a gypsy, with a wife and a child, and he is known to be gay. Well, in your situation, "both the wolf is full and the lamb is whole." Your threat to marry, have a child, and give it to your parents doesn't sound like a threat to me at all. Especially if they raise him to be like you. There is a need for more such people.
They soldered them. If they love you, they will love you. Come on :)
Be sure to escape! Come to Germany, I have lived here for a long time and there is no such tolerant country. I went to a German colleague at her husband's wedding, and the ass that married them was a lesbian and they had a girlfriend and a child. Can you just imagine it? Come here and you will never regret it, you will live happily ever after and you will be neither a gypsy nor a gay ... no one will ever touch you on this topic. I had a neighbor like you in Bulgaria, a great dude, and he was only harassed by the complexes in the neighborhood and his family, he went to study in England and did not return, and now I look at his photos on Facebook, he has a boy and they live happily.
Run to Western Europe.
Get out of here - preferably go abroad. There you will have a better chance of being accepted and being away from yours. If they truly loved you, they would accept you, not care what people said instead of whether you were happy. Since people are so important to them, to live with them. Your life is yours and it is one - live it as you want. This is absurd about the wedding. You're integrated, and they're trying to beat up a bride at 13. Even if you weren't gay, such a marriage would pull you back. I imagine how literate your wife will be and what a monster your mother-in-law will be. In any case, you have decided not to be a part of this Roma behavior, do not follow the Roma customs either. He who does not support you does not need to communicate with you. You slam their door and that's it.
I will now tell you the truth - RUN FROM RUN. When I went to Germany it was full of gypsies and Turks from Bulgaria and everyone shared that they were fleeing here because of racism and harassment. In the west you can be brown, orange, holding hands with your friend on the street (which is disgusting to me, but anyway ..). It was there that I stopped being racist towards the gypsies and the Turks (rather, the Turks, after realizing that they were civilized and in many respects many times ahead of the Bulgarians, while there are exceptions among the Roma). There will be no normal future for you here, in the west if you want you will clap with your friend in the middle of the street and you will go to a gay parade together and you will not have problems. SO GO WEST IF YOU WANT TO LIVE NORMALLY ACCORDING TO YOUR DESIRES AND ORIENTATIONS
Don't get married! You will ruin her future. This is a scam against her. Your parents are like fraudsters with an apology because they want to lie to the girl to take a girl! Have love, love them, but if they make you a criminal, a liar, don't listen to them. Say you're not attracted to it and you're going to another city. You will find sites for gays, as well as from your origin in Bulgaria or abroad and go both to live in a dormitory. Don't be fooled into cheating on the girl that you might make her sick. And it is not right to involve a child. If you want your child, are there any surrogates, as mothers say, who will give birth to you at a small price. Or you will adopt a newborn. It's not that complicated. Just don't involve a girl without knowing it's a crime.