My story is very long, but I will try to explain it briefly. Also, if you want to advise me and have questions, I will explain below. My parents are a problem. I am already 28, and they are constantly interfering in my life and especially in my personal life, they are constantly watching me and calling me, especially my mother. Everything was pretty normal, or at least until now I didn't feel what was happening and how I was being manipulated. I was 4 years old. a relationship with a boy they didn't approve of. They did the impossible to separate us and they succeeded. Let's just say they are right and I know that I had no future with him. But the fact that they were constantly teasing me and setting me against him made me very angry. From here, they gained the strength to control me and tell me what to do. I tried countless ways to show them that I was not small. Over time, I've proven that I can handle any situation, I lived abroad alone, again I escaped from their miracle to show them that I could and proved it.
They always interfere in my affairs and pressure me to make decisions with which I do not 100% agree. And vital decisions, where to live, who to live with, what to study, where to work, who to see, who to go out with, what kind of man to look for, how to tidy up my home, what clothes to wear I dress, whatever my hairstyle is, whatever my shoes are ...... oh everything! Do you understand everything! I lost my own self, I don't know who I am anymore, I live the life they wanted to have and failed, the life they like. I have been deeply depressed for two months now. I totally cut them for anything, I answer all their questions with "Yes", "No", "I don't know", "you're my job", "you don't care", " which they think is the most correct and often turns out to be wrong.
I hurt them in silence, it weighs terribly on me. I accept advice, I accept criticism, but to be constantly teased and to fulfill their wishes and if I don't do scandals and quarrels, I can't stand it anymore! At the same time, my friends are crying and harassing that their parents have a serious diagnosis, cancer, etc. I'm so afraid of getting them sick, because they also put a lot of effort and suffering into behaving like that, only they still don't understand that I suffer twice as much! Please advise me how to proceed! I destroy myself, I don't talk or share with anyone, it weighs on me that I have distanced them, but I don't see others. a way to show them to stop interfering in my life and choosing the future! I talked to them so many times. times and nothing! I want to stop this silence, I feel like I'm going crazy!
Answers 11
Run there is no other way out! Buy a home far from your city. If it is an apartment, make sure that the front door of the block is locked so that they cannot enter without a key or without someone letting them in. If you do that, then do whatever you want. If you want, catch a man, if you want children, if you want, go abroad. When your parents come to visit, I guess they will call and want you to let them go. But don't be hard, tell them that you don't want them in your home, if they don't leave, start shooting them with tomatoes from the terrace;) But they have no right to harass you like that - you are already an adult. Some would say for sure "tell the police to make a restraining order" and I would say I'm not familiar with these things
Sit on the bed, run free, then tighten up and go to them to talk. You start with the typical: I want to talk, but without shouting, because I will leave and my feet will not step here again. You tell them everything in plain text, but don't worry, don't raise your voice and tell them briefly and clearly what you want to say. If they start shouting at you, you take your bag and go out calmly, without caring what they said or what they want to do. Just remember that this rotten life is yours personally, and you are already a mature woman, you can handle it.
Well, you yourself say that they are manipulating. If one of them gets sick, the other will tell you that you are to blame, no matter the diagnosis. Tighten up, don't think about them so much, they know they hurt you and you will give up, so live so dynamically that you forget them. Then they will become like lambs. ~ Ramona ~
Thanks for the support number 1. I have my own home, I am completely independent financially and materially. Sometimes I just need the advice of a loved one. And when I share what I want, they don't understand me, they try to impose themselves if I do something I haven't discussed ... "How can you, you're not grateful, you don't respect us for anything, we raised you, we did everything, you are what you are, thanks to us, to the fact that we studied and raised you from a piece of meat ..... "And I say to myself, yes, yes, OK, I'm starting to behave. I didn't want to be born, they asked me if they were my life, I have my life and I want to live it the way I want. Then they explain to me how invaluable their experience is to me. Yes, OK, but I want to ask my way, because times change and things are not what they think they are. Number 2. Lately, my daily routine is to roar and not go to bed without alcohol. I talked to my mother and nothing! Where are you, who are you with, and when I'm in them (at home, in my old home) and a calf rings. "Who's calling you," why? What does he want? "I go crazy and explode. Thank you for helping me 1.2. I want to hear other opinions! It hurts me a lot that I don't understand them. Thank you!
Hello, Unfortunately, your story is painfully familiar to me. I'm 25, I still don't have an apartment, but I live with my boyfriend in his brother's apartment. His brother is in Switzerland and gave us his apartment while we raise money for ours. In general, my story is identical to yours. I generally break away from my parents and we only hear each other on the phone from time to time, and if I have their obsessive advice, I do one of the two: either I listen to them while I do something else and just answer Yes, OK, Clear , I understood, etc., that I agree, and then I do what I find good; or I tell them directly that I will do what I have decided, followed by the insults on duty, how I would break my head, and so on. I think the first way is more appropriate to deal with the situation, because at least it does not raise the tone and does not break nerves. As for the advice from a close person, unfortunately here I do not know how useful the advice will be. I was convinced that I had suffered more from our advice than it had benefited me, so I just found other people to rely on for advice. For example, my uncle is invaluable in giving advice and she definitely understands me and I can ask her about anything. I also have a very pleasant story with another woman, whom I met by chance when I took a dog. So I can advise you if it doesn't work with close people, try not so close ones. I know that people tell strangers not to have faith, but in our case it seems that it is also not good to have faith with relatives. I hope I was helpful! Greetings! that I have suffered more from our advice than it has benefited me, so I have simply found other people to rely on for advice. For example, my uncle is invaluable in giving advice and she definitely understands me and I can ask her about anything. I also have a very pleasant story with another woman, whom I met by chance when I took a dog. So I can advise you if it doesn't work with close people, try not so close ones. I know that people tell strangers not to have faith, but in our case it seems that it is also not good to have faith with relatives. I hope I was helpful! Greetings! that I have suffered more from our advice than it has benefited me, so I have simply found other people to rely on for advice. For example, my uncle is invaluable in giving advice and she definitely understands me and I can ask her about anything. I also have a very pleasant story with another woman, whom I met by chance when I took a dog. So I can advise you if it doesn't work with close people, try not so close ones. I know that people tell strangers not to have faith, but in our case it seems that it is also not good to have faith with relatives. I hope I was helpful! Greetings! which I met by chance when I took a dog, I also have a very nice story. So I can advise you if it doesn't work with close people, try not so close ones. I know that people tell strangers not to have faith, but in our case it seems that it is also not good to have faith with relatives. I hope I was helpful! Greetings! which I met by chance when I took a dog, I also have a very nice story. So I can advise you if it doesn't work with close people, try not so close ones. I know that people tell strangers not to have faith, but in our case it seems that it is also not good to have faith with relatives. I hope I was helpful! Greetings!
that you can be patient with me when I'm annoyed. It's all part of aging ... You'll find out when you're older ... Also, if you have free time, I hope we can talk for even a few minutes. I did my best for you ... I know you are busy ... Even if you are not interested in my stories, please have time for me ... Do you remember when you were little? I listened to you ... I was like your teddy bear ... When the time comes, I will get sick and go to bed in the hospital, I hope you will have patience to take care of me ... I'm sorry if by chance wet the bed or make a mess. I hope you have the patience to take care of me during the last moments of my life ... I won't go on any longer anyway. When the time came for my death, I hope you hold my hand when you meet DEATH. Don't worry ... When I go to God I will whisper in his ear to bless you. Because you loved your parents. Thank you very much for your care. We love you.
At the age of 15, your father expects a hug when you come home, but you thank him by locking yourself in your room ... At the age of 18, he cries at your graduation, but you thank him by partying all night. .. At the age of 26, he pays for your wedding, but you thank him by moving to another country ... At the age of 50, he gets sick and you are not THERE. He dies slowly, and it all falls apart
Escape to another city and end all contact with relatives so that they do not find.
Hello, to begin with (from the position of a child and a parent) I will say that parents never love their children as much as children love their parents (it sounds very hard, but this is the painful truth itself). And both sides love each other madly and indisputably. Their opinion (in your head) will always weigh more than the opinion of all your friends combined. A wrong word from your mother can crush your day. One remark can make you prove yourself for months. That's what nature did. Through this mechanism, nature guarantees that there will be a sequel. Nature, our emotions, don't particularly excite her. And so it is from the first breath. Children are submissive emotionally and rationally to their parents while they are alive (whatever they say). You feel guilty if you have to oppose them. You feel lonely, if they do not support you. Just reconcile with yourself. I think you have built a stable relationship or at least you have communication. I think you will keep it and develop it. Just a little more courage and strength inside you, without being angry that they don't understand you enough. They want the best for you, you for them, too. It's time to be wise, to know your rights and freedoms, to stand your ground without the help of vodka. To love them without blaming them. Listen to them as long as you think is right. Tell them they're wrong without getting mad at them. And finally a proverb (if it is a proverb, count how many tears and truth it has collected): "From parents - understanding and from a child - gratitude, don't wait" :) Success, it's a stage. Just a little more courage and strength inside you, without being angry that they don't understand you enough. They want the best for you, you for them, too. It's time to be wise, to know your rights and freedoms, to stand your ground without the help of vodka. To love them without blaming them. Listen to them as long as you think is right. Tell them they're wrong without getting mad at them. And finally a proverb (if it is a proverb, count how many tears and truth it has collected): "From parents - understanding and from a child - gratitude, don't wait" :) Success, it's a stage. Just a little more courage and strength inside you, without being angry that they don't understand you enough. They want the best for you, you for them, too. It's time to be wise, to know your rights and freedoms, to stand your ground without the help of vodka. To love them without blaming them. Listen to them as long as you think is right. Tell them they're wrong without getting mad at them. And finally a proverb (if it is a proverb, count how many tears and truth it has collected): "From parents - understanding and from a child - gratitude, don't wait" :) Success, it's a stage. without being angry with them. And finally a proverb (if it is a proverb, count how many tears and truth it has collected): "From parents - understanding and from a child - gratitude, don't wait" :) Success, it's a stage. without being angry with them. And finally a proverb (if it is a proverb, count how many tears and truth it has collected): "From parents - understanding and from a child - gratitude, don't wait" :) Success, it's a stage.
Dear mother! You are 28, not 8! Just get out of here and change your mobile number, otherwise your nerves will go straight. And if you manage to change your job, even better. Anyway, it hurts to tell you, but I guess you should totally break up with these people ... at least for a while. As long as they get used to the idea that you are not their property and have no right to treat you like that, and as long as you fix your nerves and gain enough self-confidence to tell them to stop behaving like that once and for all. I guess it will take time, but there is no other way. Otherwise you will never be able to start a family or be happy. Because she wondered which man would withstand such interference in his family? We are nobody! And if you have children, come and see what will happen and how they will give you a mind for everything. So girl stop that, so you don't regret it later! I know, they are your parents, but you just have to disappear! For yours and for their good. It is clear to you why, and to them, I hope they come to their senses and realize what they are doing. Success!
Listen, girl, if they don't approve of this boy, then you're engaged to someone else, because you're going to get married. That's one of the reasons you're so stressed. This is the case all over the world, all parents interfere in our lives while they are alive. my brother died of sorts. they are still looking at how to patch up my life