Hello! I got married years ago and I haven't lived with my parents since. From that moment on, it was as if I was really getting to know my mother and father. I began to see what they really were. Their lives are so boring that they are constantly discussing me behind my back, discussing my husband and even his mother. They talk in spite and get angry like little children. My mother is no longer particularly interested in me, but mainly in herself. I have a sister, she lives with her boyfriend, she is older than me. She is also commented on behind her back. They do it in front of me. They must be spitting at me in front of me. And these are parents. Eternally angry, eternally dissatisfied. They just think about how to brag, lie to people or swell and praise. They don't want us to have a baby because it's right and because I love my husband, but because she'll be able to rub her neighbor's nose that I'll have a baby and not a daughter. And various others like it! I've been sick lately that I see that they are so limited and I can't stop being angry. I somehow overcome this, but I can't swallow the fact that there is talk against my husband all the time. They are so bored that they spit on someone all day and I start to hate them. When they are given a birthday present, they always say that they do not want anything - it was important to be together, but then they are never happy with the gifts or if they said that they do not want them and do not give them presents, they sulk like little children. . They will be involved in every conversation. For example, we talk to the neighbor about how tight she is and I interrupt her mother: "I never do that, I'm very generous, I like to give everything to everyone." they are, but when they see me they speak only of sad things, how little they have left to live, how they were ruins and would soon die. The regular phrase is "I am a psychologist, I communicate with a lot of people.", Which makes me laugh when I hear it! Does the same thing happen to you - to talk behind your back, and to your husband behind your back? How are you doing?
Answers 8
Well, simplicity goes to people. I have come to the conclusion that we can choose our friends, but not our relatives. I have exactly the same problem, but with my sister - I realized that she was discussing me and masquerading in front of all our acquaintances out of pure envy. I just gathered my acquaintances at a fun party and the people drew their own conclusions about my family. That was enough to shut the mouths of the well-wishers. As for my sister - I talked to her and? I said exactly what I was thinking, and then I distanced myself from her, and neither did I discuss her anymore, nor did she. We hear each other on the phone during the holidays and so far. If something happens - we know, we can count on each other, but otherwise we are at a great and healthy distance. I advise you to do the same - first tell your parents the pain and then take a course to distance. Find even occasions not to celebrate most holidays with them. Remember, however, that they are still your parents and the blood is not water. Respect them and help them when needed, but neither share nor discuss people in front of them, nor discuss your plans with them, nor your dreams, nor your values and ideas. The less they know about you, the better. As for the gifts - well, give them vouchers to choose their own gifts. The more distant you become, the less time you spend on these people, the calmer you will become, and in the end you will not sleep even if the peasants spoke again. Yes, this behavior is rural - and we are from a small and rural town and one cannot change one's origin, unfortunately - my husband's family is from generations of Sofia residents and there are no such villages there. that they are still your parents and the blood is not water. Respect them and help them when needed, but neither share nor discuss people in front of them, nor discuss your plans with them, nor your dreams, nor your values and ideas. The less they know about you, the better. As for the gifts - well, give them vouchers to choose their own gifts. The more distant you become, the less time you spend on these people, the calmer you will become, and in the end you will not sleep even if the peasants spoke again. Yes, this behavior is rural - and we are from a small and rural town and one cannot change one's origin, unfortunately - my husband's family is from generations of Sofia residents and there are no such villages there. that they are still your parents and the blood is not water. Respect them and help them when needed, but neither share nor discuss people in front of them, nor discuss your plans with them, nor your dreams, nor your values and ideas. The less they know about you, the better. As for the gifts - well, give them vouchers to choose their own gifts. The more distant you become, the less time you spend on these people, the calmer you will become, and in the end you will not sleep even if the peasants spoke again. Yes, this behavior is rural - and we are from a small and rural town and one cannot change one's origin, unfortunately - my husband's family is from generations of Sofia residents and there are no such villages there. neither discuss your plans with them, nor your dreams, nor your values and ideas. The less they know about you, the better. As for the gifts - well, give them vouchers to choose their own gifts. The more distant you become, the less time you spend on these people, the calmer you will become, and in the end you will not sleep even if the peasants spoke again. Yes, this behavior is rural - and we are from a small and rural town and one cannot change one's origin, unfortunately - my husband's family is from generations of Sofia residents and there are no such villages there. neither discuss your plans with them, nor your dreams, nor your values and ideas. The less they know about you, the better. As for the gifts - well, give them vouchers to choose their own gifts. The more distant you become, the less time you spend on these people, the calmer you will become, and in the end you will not sleep even if the peasants spoke again. Yes, this behavior is rural - and we are from a small and rural town and one cannot change one's origin, unfortunately - my husband's family is from generations of Sofia residents and there are no such villages there. the calmer you will become, and in the end you will not sleep even if the peasants have spoken again. Yes, this behavior is rural - and we are from a small and rural town and one cannot change one's origin, unfortunately - my husband's family is from generations of Sofia residents and there are no such villages there. the calmer you will become, and in the end you will not sleep even if the peasants have spoken again. Yes, this behavior is rural - and we are from a small and rural town and one cannot change one's origin, unfortunately - my husband's family is from generations of Sofia residents and there are no such villages there.
Yes, a completely familiar story. Don't pay attention to them and look after your family. Apparently they are really more limited and now they are killing complexes. I really don't understand such parents who just show off in front of people and society instead of really looking at their family happiness, but there is always a competition with the neighbors and their acquaintances.
Just like they say above. Don't pay attention to them at all, they have fulfilled their parental commitments to you anyway. And really just look after your family!
Do you know what I thought very often? We are born into such families to learn some lessons, because if these people were not our relatives, we would never even look at them, let alone be close to them. That is why we are related so that we have nowhere to run. And I have many such incidents with relatives, who are my enemies, apart from learning your lessons, I don't know what else to advise you. The truth is that these are very unhappy people who could not live their lives happily and with dignity and therefore became angry even with their own children. You can only feel sorry for them. Rejoice that you have your own life, live it as you like and do not allow anyone else, even relatives, to spoil your happiness. And very important - do not do the same with your children.
We will certainly become just like them - the parents. They certainly don't hate us, they certainly haven't lived their lives happily - they have given us a future. Even though we don't appreciate it now ... These people are our parents and the moment will come when we will want to see them, but there really isn't. to have them - even though they are now 47 years old - as the author says. I want to see my father, whom I thought about just like the Author - but he is no more ... only my mother is left and she is terribly lonely - she had friends from childhood, they have them and now we are guilty. in the first place and now he does not want to go out with anyone - he goes to work, comes home, sits at home - he has no desire for anything. So look at it from this angle as well. Your life is yours, mine, to each of us, but the mother is one! I think we need to show them that they are important, not superfluous. I will try to go on vacation together in the summer and have fun together - so at least I will try. Yes, my life is mine, but it was given to me by her - my mother and father. I can and I have fun and I travel and I go out and I have a husband - we don't live together, but what I have achieved is thanks to them and I think I have to somehow make her a happy mother - I will even ask her forgiveness on Sunday and I plan to go to a restaurant together again or ... I'll make it up. She was my best friend - I plan to stay that way in the future. Thank you mom! Peace to your dust, Dad! Girls, change something in your attitude towards them - and we will become parents, and it is not known then what life will bring us and whether we will not be even worse than them. Someone and somewhere had said or read - when a boy meets a girl - he must see the mother, because this girl will become with the years like her. And whether it is true - we will see in years.
Dear lady, this is your view, whether you spoke openly with your mother or took up the topic while it was interesting to you, and blamed your mother for the sequel. The answer to number 5 is the most truthful and accurate, and regarding the statement, to number 3 - they have fulfilled their duty, but if you have fulfilled your daughter's duty, and to number 4 are unhappy people, I agree with such assessments if the other party has also expressed an opinion and not behind back assessments. Namely, these "unfortunate people" raised, educated and studied them in all probability. One thing I know - if you are in trouble and need help, your parents will be the first to come and be with you for whatever you ask them, not us who give you advice, because they are half-hearted, we have not heard the other side, and we will hardly hurt us for you as much as your parents ... And some of our relatives just don't appreciate them, because we think of them as a given, when we lose them only then do we appreciate what they were for us, how much they gave us, but then it is too late. Sometimes people make unintentional mistakes, at least I don't know one who is innocent in every way. Therefore, give respect and love to your loved ones and I assure you you will not go wrong and you will be happier.
Mila, unfortunately, everyone seems to be like that. Parents are you ... they still feel obligated to treat you like a child and tell you what is right and what is wrong. Unfortunately, they can't see the mistakes they make by interfering in the relationships of others and they comment on them, so the only way is to stop caring and limit your contact with them. It will not happen in a good way, so act with the bad.
Correct №7 and previous comments, correct - limit your parents, you don't need them now, but know and they won't be here with you for long - so, fuck - right? Fuck, it's only their duty to watch us - that's what our children will tell us. Time will pass we will want to see and hear them, but until then we will have put them down there and you will have to cry like me for my father. I was not a good child, I am not, but my mother and father were responsible to them - he is not there and since he is not there, I feel terrible guilt, lack and need to see him. Guilt ... because I loved him very much and now I love him - but I can't tell him - even though I was still hugging him and sitting on his knees - but I didn't tell him in words. Now I use every moment to tell it to my mother! This does not mean that there is no personal life - I have it, I am independent, but I go to her if not every other day, then at least once a week, and we hear from each other at least twice a day. Friends are friends, we have some relationships with them, our loved one is loved by others. These loves are different and we should not mix them, but give to everyone the due and make each of them feel significant. You know - fuck their parents - right? But we will also become parents!