Hello. My mother and father, the people who need to support me the most, don't. All my life they underestimate me, they kill my every wish no matter what it is. They give me BGN 10. weekly for food and expenses, I live with my cousin (they agreed with thousands of exhortations), and they chose to live in the countryside and move only for work. I tell them "I want to start a job, to raise money for prom, for food, for university" and they - "Life was not so simple, it was not so easy to find a job, especially for a girl and did not last a lifetime in those precious years" , my mother is in a kind of paranoia that something will happen to me and for that I have to be with them all my life, we have fought many times, but she doesn't understand, my father is her pawn - she repeats her words and we constantly fight . Without their knowledge, I worked for a maintenance master, I was making money, but they understood and raised such a scandal that I even called the police, otherwise it would have been bad, they wanted to attack their 19-year-old daughter. Well, now how can I look at life positively as they undermine my every desire for work and education, I know that life is not easy, but we still have to start somewhere, whether they take me for a fool or for a slow one because I am not like that. I am 12th grade, I have a grade of 5.00, but somehow my positivity disappears, so does my desire, and with them my hope for a better life melts away. I am a positive person by nature, I have been told many times, but they kill everything, you don't live like that. Please give me advice, because I have already run out of attempts ... Well, now how can I look at life positively as they undermine my every desire for work and education, I know that life is not easy, but we still have to start somewhere, whether they take me for a fool or for a slow one because I am not like that. I am 12th grade, I have a grade of 5.00, but somehow my positivity disappears, so does my desire, and with them my hope for a better life melts away. I am a positive person by nature, I have been told many times, but they kill everything, you don't live like that. Please give me advice, because I have already run out of attempts ... Well, now how can I look at life positively as they undermine my every desire for work and education, I know that life is not easy, but we still have to start somewhere, whether they take me for a fool or for a slow one because I am not like that. I am 12th grade, I have a grade of 5.00, but somehow my positivity disappears, so does my desire, and with them my hope for a better life melts away. I am a positive person by nature, I have been told many times, but they kill everything, you don't live like that. Please give me advice, because I have already run out of attempts ... and with them my hope for a better life melts away. I am a positive person by nature, I have been told many times, but they kill everything, you don't live like that. Please give me advice, because I have already run out of attempts ... and with them my hope for a better life melts away. I am a positive person by nature, I have been told many times, but they kill everything, you don't live like that. Please give me advice, because I have already run out of attempts ...
Answers 5
You write that you are 19 years old and I don't understand what kind of police, what kind of movies - you CAN work and live properly. Definitely with BGN 10 a week you can't exist, so find a job. There is a job for women as a waitress, bartender. Your parents can't do anything to you and after the age of 18 you can if you want to take part in a porn movie and the police still have nothing to do with you. Otherwise, stop so much contact with them. At the age of 19, I started to support myself, but I stopped contacting my parents for a while, and then only on my own initiative once or twice a month. If they call the police, they will pay the fines for such actions. At the age of 19, you can do anything, as long as you don't break the law and you have no problem with me, except for the limits and restrictions that you set yourself, as well as your insane desire to comply and please your parents at all costs. As for the lousy BGN 40 per month - you can only earn them a day from tips as a waitress and you didn't need them at all. I give more money for sanitary cosmetics, I don't know how you survive ...
Tighten tight! Drop them yours! Achieve something! They are not You!
So, I will speak first as a parent, then as a child. I am both :) Your parents do not underestimate you, on the contrary. They obviously love you very much and try to protect you. Before I reached my career, I was now a waitress, but not more than a year. I will never cause it to myself and I will not allow my child to do this. It may seem silly, but they are right. "You have no idea how complicated and nasty life can be." You say BGN 10 a week. Do they have the opportunity to spend more and what should you secure with these funds? If they're kind of a school day, I don't think they're insanely small. You are now at a very important stage in your life. You will graduate and apply to a university. It is at this point that learning is a priority. If you start serving, there is a risk of doing so for the rest of your life. If at 18 making money is a priority over education, at 30 you will bitterly regret this choice. Now as a child: They held me tight, so to speak. Evening hour, etc. My father used to say: As long as you are under my roof, you will follow my rules. This sounds nasty to every teenager and high school student, etc. Yes, but I studied in a good specialty and I have a good job and not a decent, but a high salary. It is true that I missed the discos while I was in high school, but then I caught up. I started working when my father died. My mother could not study two students / I have a younger brother /. I was a waitress. Fuck the tips. Great job BGN 20-30. per day. If someone is happy to turn trays or wash glasses, it's their job. But one's goals should be above that. Better with a limited budget and a good education in the beginning than with BGN 40. in pocket and sweatshirts education. The point is that I am now grateful for everything they have given me and I understand their every story. But I understand it now that I have a 10-year-old son. In this line of thinking at 18, everything seems easy. Then comes the hard part, and it's good to have something behind you, not a tip.
Number 3 - you speak well, but what motivates us when actions speak for themselves? You can't crush your child like that (At 19!) And say it's out of love. It kills a person out of love, but that doesn't make people more alive after that. If we love someone, especially our children, we need to show it to them in words and deeds, including leaving the people we love free and supporting them in their endeavors. You write that you would never let your child work as a waiter, but didn't you learn anything about people during that time? Why do you want to limit your own children to where you yourself had the freedom to decide for yourself? There is no greater bear service than forbidding our children to work, to develop, to travel, to live normally at all. I have never listened to my parents about such things, thank God. At 18 I worked one summer as a waitress and saved money for a book and a cell phone, although my father forbade me to drive a car because it was a man's job, and he didn't understand phones at the time. He did not allow me to drive even in his presence and with a book taken his old crumb - today I drive a jeep for BGN 250,000, and he has a similar crumb. My mother beat me on the head because I studied and read too much, I would get sick and spoil my eyes. I waited for them to fall asleep to study and read, I graduated with a gold medal and a full Graduation Award. My father had banned the Internet and computers because he didn't understand them. My sister is a computer illiterate and that's why she can't find any job, despite her university degree and qualities. She has always listened to our parents! My parents told me not to go to college because they already had a student, and to wait for her to graduate ... 3 years I graduated abroad before my sister, because she dragged on her studies for almost 10 years and if I had listened to ours I would never have studied anything despite my talents. For my parents, the ball was something super important and they had saved a few hundred levs for this "important" case - I took them and paid for documents and other things to work abroad, visas, and I did not go to the ball, only at the end of the ball dinner with a modest suit for BGN 70 from my grandmother At the age of 19 I packed a suitcase of luggage, took my documents, passport, visa and ... abroad. Our people wouldn't let me go! I worked and passed the necessary university exams. I enrolled and completed my desired specialty, which our people did not approve of. Our people didn't approve of my friend because he was much older than me. Ours did not approve, when we decided to return to Bulgaria and start our own business. Our people did not approve of what wedding dress I would wear and how I planned my wedding in general. Our people did not approve that we decided to build a house first, develop a business and then have children. ... I HAVE NEVER LISTENED TO MY PARENTS, who may have done everything out of love, but they are Bulgarians from ancient times and neither know nor know how to live today. My parents have achieved nothing in life, suffer from alcoholism and other diseases and live in my grandfather's house. My sister listens to them about everything and is now 35 and unemployed. She is older and has also beaten, banned and mocked me for my plans and choices, so not at all? I'm helping today - everyone to get better. I didn't listen to ours for anything, thank God. Conclusion - after 18 years everyone is free to make their own choices in life and it is their own fault if they allow their parents or anyone else to stop them from following their path, especially if these people can neither provide you with a normal lifestyle, nor educate you, nor are educated people, have no connections and can not help with anything - what claims then to define our lives? BGN 40 per month? Well, the author can earn this money a day, and even more. How much our parents love us is another matter. Of course, they love us, but it has nothing to do with us and we should not allow ourselves to be forced when it contradicts our goals in life, especially if they have not achieved anything. There are parents with status, education and opportunities in life, but they do not limit their children. As for unskilled work - I would never save it for my children, because you learn a lot about people and how to work. At the age of 18, my children know that they will be free to determine their own lives and make their own choices, to experience their own failures and successes, because this is life!
OK №4. I understand. They also gave the author the freedom to live wherever she wanted. At this point, it is better for her to study than to wait. That's what I think. And that's why I say that I will do everything for my child to study, not to wait. What to learn about coffee. That various uncles give more tips when you wink at them? That they work for a month, two - there is no salary and they are chasing ... That now I look with pity at my former colleagues in the cafes or shop assistants? The author needs to tighten up and learn. He may not have money now, but at least he has to do something for his future. Because of 5 years of study, now I can afford to look after my child alone / have to /, drive a 5 year old jeep and buy whatever I want. I will not lie, I feel good. But I wouldn't have any of that if it weren't for my parents. I owe it to their perseverance.