All my life I have lived in some illusory world. We are a large family and in general it has always been mom messi, dad carries. My parents have a good job, we have always been together everywhere ... "idyll" - illusory. While I was with my parents, at home or anywhere, life and the people around me were foreign to me. I wondered how my friends still didn't get along with theirs, I wondered how people didn't have money, I wondered why everyone wanted to move out of their home, why people were so mean ... Now I understand them. I am now 18 - last year in school. This year everyone started working, and I wondered why they don't sit at home and study. So I did it and what? My life is good, I have a nice home and "family" - not me. I will enter the university where I want and what .. My parents have already found where I will work - they have drawn everything in my life. I live under a total dictatorship. My father is the colonel of the family, you have to walk on your toes with him, otherwise you will be beaten and mentally crushed, and my mother is silent. At home, of the 4 children, I am required to do the most. My father explains in front of everyone that I am his excellent student, Daddy's child, or in other words, "the characterless child who controls with ease." Let me tell you how our week goes. The colonel makes breakfast if you don't get up at a certain time - you feel bad. From there who to school or work. Then we all go home for lunch, you can't miss it. Mom must have cooked something tasty, otherwise bad .. If mom did not cook the boss becomes irritable and it is likely that one of us children will eat a slap or a scream. In the afternoon we see each other only at dinner and during the day our boss has written tasks for the day and checks if we have done them. If not ... I don't know what will happen, but I don't want to know. After dinner, everyone except my brother, he went out, I understand why, we play chess and tell each other how our day went .. Then everyone in bed, or who does what he wants. And so for a whole week. We work at the villa on the weekends and if someone does not go, you must state in writing what the reason is, otherwise you have no money for a whole week. That's how it is with us .. What does this lead to ... The other children seem to have survived somehow, but I haven't. I don't think I have an opinion or I know what I think. I don't have my own thinking, I have that of my father. I recently found myself in the company of different people, I started playing and these things changed me radically. I started thinking like myself, thinking about what I want, who I am. And my conclusions are that I don't want to study at all, I don't want to get married and cook for my husband like my mother. I don't want to live under a regime anymore. I know that everyone lives in a framework, but I want to build my own, not the one my parents want for me. In my family, there are rules and if I tell my father that I don't want to go to university ... He will probably send me to a boarding school somewhere. I have recently become a little more vain. I'm dating a boy who showed me how nice it is to be yourself. Along with him, I became interested in music, books, and not just school and success. The idea of pleasing my father already seems ABSURD to me. I dream of freedom ... I dream of standing in the park on Sunday and walking, but for my father it's a waste of time. If he finds out I don't go to school to be in the park with some squirrels, that's what he calls almost all my peers .. he will be disappointed and as I said .. he will impose an even heavier dictatorship. This is my frame. I just wanted to share with someone.
Answers 11
Being independent goes hand in hand with making a living on your own and not relying on your parents in any way ... If you want to do whatever you want, find a way not to be financially dependent on them and move out.
You can always move out if you can make ends meet. And to know that not all men are like that. If you find the right one, don't let it be that having your family is the best thing in the world.
I did not understand what exactly is your dictatorship? Dad makes breakfast expects the mother to make lunch, they have made a regime of evening family gatherings, your parents find time to pay attention to you every night and leave you free time after that, require the weekends to help the villa - probably the warm weekends months from April to September, want their children to be educated as much as possible, live without deprivation of clothes, pockets or food. So I don't understand what you want, if you want parents who don't pay attention to you, to live in deprivation, you probably want not to help the family with work, you dream of an alcoholic father and a mother who pays more attention to her manicure than to your children, do you want that, I do not understand. describe how you think a father of 4 should behave, how should the family week be arranged and who should go to the villa on the weekend? And I remembered you have a friend and April came you have to help the villa and you have no excuse to be away on the weekends. You want the family to work at the villa without you, but to enjoy the benefits of their work on an equal footing, not to be deprived of pocket money or the salad they have grown, as the saying goes "At work, the light of the pie is soft". It is obvious that your hands are not itching for work and you are itching, but there is no way to get out and accuse caring parents of dictatorship. not to be deprived of pockets or the salad they have grown, as was the saying "At work the light of the pie is soft". It is obvious that your hands are not itching for work and you are itching, but there is no way to get out and accuse caring parents of dictatorship. not to be deprived of pockets or the salad they have grown, as was the saying "At work the light of the pie is soft". It is obvious that your hands are not itching for work and you are itching, but there is no way to get out and accuse caring parents of dictatorship.
Make 18 and go out with your boyfriend. I highly recommend higher education - higher education means better paid work, which means financial freedom from your parents, even from your husband, don't you want that? Don't give up having a family because of your crazy father, not everywhere mom is a maid and dad works - my friend and I both work for almost equal salaries (mine is a little higher right now, but the wheel is spinning) and we clean and we cook together because we love home comfort. My colleagues pay a cleaner to clean and eat in restaurants. To afford this way of life, you need a high salary, and for that - higher and mandatory English :). Don't let your parents ruin your life, run away.
Find me a job and move out. Once you are an adult, your father has no legal right to impose anything on you. You just have to start making your own money.
Thanks to everyone for the comments. What worries me the most is that they impose their opinion on everything. I just wanted to share with someone, because the acquaintances around us and our friends see only the beautiful packaging of my family, but not our problems and I have no one to share with. I understand that I have nothing to complain about - number 3, but you are not with my problems, so do not judge me or anyone. Thanks again!
Are you running away from school to have lunch at home! ??
Number 7, no but all meals are timed to all of us.
There is something to complain about, author. Don't trust haters and envious people (envious because you said you were wealthy) who just set out to convince people that they don't deserve to seek happiness.
Number 3 is very limited, don't pay attention to the nonsense you scratch. Children are not owned by their parents and are not their servants. It is very clear that it is better for you to communicate with people your age, not with mom and dad, and you do not have to be a slave to their villa, as they were 200 years ago in the villages. And your time will come to have a family and responsibilities. You have to provide a good life for your children, not your parents. The wheel is spinning. This discipline is easier for them, but it prevents you from developing as an independent and autonomous person. I do not understand parents who want their children to be obedient, not to have their own opinion and just to listen and perform. Then what will happen when they move out? They will be trampled at work, they will be trampled at home and they will never be happy and successful. Not to mention that such dictators interfere later and in the families want to command and many divorces happen because of them. Enroll in a university, find a job and move out :).
Number 9 and 10 ... Thank you sincerely for being adequate and really understanding the problem. You all helped me a lot, thank you!