Hello, dear readers. A 17-year-old girl writes to you. My story is as follows. I had a serious relationship (about 2 years), he was my first sexual partner, I hoped the only one. I always wanted the man I would spend the rest of my life with to be my first and only ... Naive, right? Anyway, you can assume that we broke up, respectively, and my childhood dream will remain unfulfilled. I "gave" him my virginity after the 5th month, I would not say that I give up easily, and to this day it is so. Now I'm with another guy that I adore, but ... I don't feel ready to have sex and I think I'll wait some more time. So my thought is ... Is it so bad (as in my imagination) to have more than 1 sexual partner? Does that make me less worthy? I assure you that I define myself (and not only myself) as smart and reasonable. But if by the time I find MY HUSBAND there are ... five? Please, opinions from competent people, giving an objective opinion .. Thank you !!
Answers 6
Honey, you have nothing to worry about. It is unrealistic to expect that at 15 you will meet the great love and stay together forever. Yes, it's good that there aren't too many men in your life, but 2-3 or 5 people are fine, until you end up with the right one to grow old with. And there is one more thing, it is not only the number that is important, the important thing is that every time you are with a man you are with him for love, and not for some other reason. Now you are still very young and you have very high expectations and you think that love is like in the movies, unfortunately it is very rare and sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you get to the Prince, but if you find him, do your best to keep him and make him the LAST and ONLY man in your life. And the fact that you were for example 3 does not matter so much, the important thing is to be the LAST!
The times are such that the probability of finding your husband at this age tends to zero. If you want to have a small number of sexual partners before the wedding, it is best to look for serious men - neither bad boys nor mother's sons. This is a whole art for a woman - to choose a man suitable for a long-term relationship and at the same time to be serious and know what she wants from life. Unfortunately, as I said at this age, it is practically impossible to find such a person. You can look for men over 24-25 - there are already more suitable, and by 30 most have realized. However, there the difference may be too big for you and you will have different priorities in life, because you will be in different stages. Another option is to just stand alone for longer periods.
What's worse is that you started having sex as early as you didn't marry the first one.
You gave me your virginity, what is he to me, man?
Well, you already have your understandings and I don't know why you want advice. It is more than clear that only in fairy tales does it happen the way you wanted it to. Sex is not a bad thing. It will never be. Even if you were 10 before you got married, there is no problem, in my opinion. The point is to select them, not be with two or more at a time, and do it safely.
Thank you for your understanding! Dare!