Hello! I will tell my story briefly. I am writing here because I am not sure what is going on and I do not want to discredit my wife by asking for advice from a relative or friend. We love each other very much, we have a little girl of 6 months, we are financially stable, we are healthy. Lately, I guess because of the reduction of sex around the baby we have become, how to say - non-intimate, but in general everything is fine between us, at least that's what I thought until now. A few days ago, for the first time, I happened to look at her phone accidentally, and more specifically and not accidentally, a conversation with her ex-boyfriend, in which she wrote to him that she had been dreaming of him quite often lately. I'm not a stupid person, I know we can't control what we dream because it's on a subconscious level. I myself often dream things that I would be ashamed to share even here. The point is, that she had consciously chosen to tell him that she was dreaming of him. I don't expect her to share it with me, I would even prefer her to save me this information, but when I found out that she shared it with him, I became very sick and jealous. In general, I know that the only solution is to talk to her about it, even though it hurts me that I entered her personal space without her knowledge, and once I tell her, the trust between us will be on some lower level, at least that's how I feel.
I soon heard somewhere that a person is not jealous when he loves, but when he wants to be loved. Thank you, nice choristers, in advance for the neutral opinion. Greetings! that the only solution is to talk to her about it, even though it hurts me that I entered her personal space without her knowledge, and after I tell her, the trust between us will be at some lower level, at least I am. I feel it. I soon heard somewhere that a person is not jealous when he loves, but when he wants to be loved.
Thank you, nice choristers, in advance for the neutral opinion. Greetings! that the only solution is to talk to her about it, even though it hurts me that I entered her personal space without her knowledge, and after I tell her, the trust between us will be at some lower level, at least I am. I feel it. I soon heard somewhere that a person is not jealous when he loves, but when he wants to be loved. Thank you, nice choristers, in advance for the neutral opinion. Greetings!
Answers 18
We really can't control what we dream about, but I don't think your wife did well. The exes are therefore exes - to stay in the past. with an ex-boyfriend is walking on thin ice-you never know what might happen.Okay, he dreams it-but why should you let him know about it? And for his part how will he understand this? There are people who have little of them You should have given him a finger, he has bitten your hand. I have no way of knowing what's in your wife's head, but you keep things under control. Think of an occasion and a way to talk to her.
She took you for a big mess, you can love yourself and believe that on the other side they love you as much as you do. But her actions show how much she cares about you. It's normal to be hurt, ask her directly what's going on, don't worry about anything. There is no place for a third between two people who love each other, apparently your wife wants to score the third and keep you on the bench. How can she share intimate affairs with a foreign man, even worse with exes. The work is not going well, you know. It's all up to you, don't be like a fool once everything is clear to you. Show her that you are a man on the spot !!!
No sense in telling her now.
Maybe she's having nightmares with him. I'm like that - I often have nightmares with people I don't like very much. People I'm afraid of.
Yes, the young man from "Married at First Sight" said it very well. I don't know where he read it from, because he only mumbles memorized phrases, but he's very right about jealousy. And for your worries - it's because of the lack of sex. And your wife's actions may be due to your behavior towards her. You've probably heard of postpartum depression - every woman catches it. I will give you an example with myself - I was disappointed, fat, I had the feeling that I was doing everything wrong, my husband was just criticizing me. We weren't intimate I felt even more repulsive to him. I was not tired because of the child, nor because of the housework, just to wish me and I was ready, but this did not happen anyway. This was breaking me down every day, and criticism and remarks were going on and on. I felt disgusted, redundant, incompetent, lonely and much more. A "how are you" written by an ex-friend and the exchange of two or three lines made me very happy, somehow they pulled me out of the swamp. I don't feel anything for this man, but I was happy. His gesture of attention made me feel like nothing. So think about whether you're wrong
That's not good ... Subconsciously or not, she wants to plan other stakes.
Many Bulgarian families find themselves in such a situation. I watched Ani Vladimirova such a story, you can find it on YouTube. Very interesting. Obviously, this is embedded in our mentality. The woman sleeps in the other room with the baby, ostensibly to sleep the other and such nonsense. The child sleeps between the parents. This is the biggest mistake. Once upon a time they had 10 children whether they slept in one room, but how the man, the woman, the youngest child, and so on to the eldest. Why?
Non-intimate 6 months after birth is a clear sign that not everything is fine. On the 4th day I was subjected to fellatio, after a month and a half I resumed normal intimate relations. Don't tell her that you dug into the phone, it can't end well, whatever the problem, instilling mistrust will deepen it. Suspecting her after she has given birth to a child will affect her greatly. Talk to her about the lack of intimacy.
Don't deal with emotionally and mentally immature women. Beat and joke!
Mixed work. On the one hand, she did not control her dreams, on the other hand, she was able to share with a friend and not with her ex. Come on now, she's guilty, but let's not jump to conclusions. This story is a little suspicious, but I'll tell you my candid opinion. In any other situation, I would accuse her of plotting a great drama, but your wife soon gave birth. It is very likely that she fell into postpartum depression. This is an insidious condition that many women go through, and men can only wonder and step on their toes. It weighs on her that she is overweight, that she is not coping perfectly with the child, that housework is on her back, that you are no longer intimate. Not that he doesn't want sex, he feels ugly - I say it so directly, albeit rudely, that you can understand it in plain text without detours. A closed loop is obtained. You want sex, she feels tired. You don't want sex, he decides he's not attracted to you. A man like that wants you to want and love her. It sounds disgusting, but I repeat, it is better not to make detours. At such times, women tend to make movies, so to speak. Before you reveal that you know about chats, try something else. Buy her a flower and chocolate, tell her she's beautiful. Kiss her more often on the forehead, on the cheeks, on the palm of your hand, as you stand gently on the couch in the evening. Hug her more. He seeks physical contact that is not sexual, but is intimate from an emotional point of view. Try inserting a "Thank you" for dinner, for ironed clothes, for a sleeping baby. After work, tell her that you missed the little one and you wanted to be home with them all day. She will calm down. You can tell her about your dreams, so you will show that you trust her too. With this information, she will also be more likely to tell you about hers when she knows that you are aware of the lack of control over dreams. I don't believe she will tell you about her ex, but she will probably stop thinking about him, because she will be overwhelmed by the family euphoria - a little baby and a loving husband. Believe me, your wife can't cheat with a 6-month-old baby in her arms. Even if he wants to, the chances of success are slim. She enjoys dreams because they remind her of the quiet days of an unmarried woman. It wouldn't be like that if her family days were more colorful and satisfying. It's normal for her to go through this stage, but you have to hold her in your arms, not throw stones at her or push her towards other men. She will pass. She's guilty, I understand you're sick. You can discuss this topic in a year, when it will be calmer. At this point, entering her personal space will infuriate her and your relationship goes to the movies. Sometimes you take care of the child, like that. Tell him to take a bath in peace, get ready to go out and catch the three of them with the cart to the park. Believe me, I understand that from your point of view I advise you to behave like a mollusk, but from a woman's point of view the same means to choose your wife and your love in front of scandals. It is clear to me that you want to be tough and have accumulated a little anger, but you are a family, and nothing good is achieved in the family with attacks. but from a woman's point of view, the same means choosing your wife and your love over scandals. It is clear to me that you want to be tough and have accumulated a little anger, but you are a family, and nothing good is achieved in the family with attacks. but from a woman's point of view, the same means choosing your wife and your love over scandals. It is clear to me that you want to be tough and have accumulated a little anger, but you are a family, and nothing good is achieved in the family with attacks.
I write to my exes like I want to fuck them. Hey, I dreamed of you yesterday ... nonsense on wheels ... I never dreamed of anything, but they are full of fun that someone thinks about them. Now a "well, what is he dreaming about, well, tell me" begins ... and after 5 days he is with someone else's duck in his mouth. I can bet everything that the scenario is the same here.
In this line of thought, I would ask myself, is the child mine? I don't like this kind of behavior .... I blocked my exes .. I accidentally saw one a few days ago and we had sex ... she's married, so am I .. and in the evening I did it with mine ... without I had taken a bath ... thank god he gave me an erection ... I feel wrong ... but ... that's why I don't feel anymore ... women don't know how to love ... who is @@ l .. once .. then at any time .. once you get used to it .. they open their legs
Author, you get into movies. First, dreams have absolutely no meaning. T. is have, but on a very deep subconscious level, one can look for the cause of them, but they can be interpreted. I hope you understood me with that sentence. As for your jealousy of her ex. You have rightly noticed that this is from your own weakness. I know all the boyfriends of my "big" love. We were great friends and we went out without her, even. We also did business together with someone. They even came to my house to get drunk and complain about her. We men are like that. There is male solidarity (Look, this can't happen with women) That's why I suggest you tell her about what you saw. Then make her introduce you to him. Get the three of you out for coffee. When you face your fear face to face, it will be easier for you. Then the trust in both of you will inevitably increase and you will have nothing to worry about. If she refuses to go out all three, then you meet him. See what kind of person he is. Talk to each other as friends, you will be relieved again. Prejudice is among man's greatest enemies. Good luck and keep us posted here on what happened! I will follow your topic. M.V.
I don't know how you are so calm and accepting things and quietly thinking about how the process will develop. Personally, if I see such a thing, I will break her phone and curse her, and maybe I will go even further! In general, I do not distinguish myself that I behave like this, it is somewhat good that a person does not raise his blood and nerves, but if you are a man you can not ask us on an anonymous site, and she writes to her ex. Take her phone, curse her, kick her and that's it. How do you take things so calmly, people?
Dude, that's how it is with a lot of women. That's why they weren't allowed to have exes in the past ... Otherwise you just become the next one. I hope for your own good it's just nonsense, but women don't share these things just like that. To say it is like saying - I think of you. If she was ashamed, she wouldn't share it. They tell you from personal experience, like a man who was told that they dreamed of him ... Basically, many women in that period remember what a pleasure it was without responsibilities, and besides what kind of men they were with when they were younger, and how much better they felt. She just prays for the child to pass. Because no, it's really not masculine to be jealous, you have to beat her up ... But she will be another child without a father, because of a female whore ...
Lie, how much nonsense is written in the comments. So what is written in them shows that she is a woman who has no mind, only instincts, so if she writes to someone, she will definitely have sex with him. What if her husband, because of the lack of sex, continued to behave like a pinched maiden, instilled in himself that his wife did not love him and began to cheat on her, would that be very clever? Author, if you do not want to discredit your wife, do not post topics about her. What do you expect strangers to tell you after you are familiar with the situation? As soon as he writes to his ex, they probably broke up as friends. Because of the recurring dreams, she may have just worried about him, as she would for any acquaintance, and want to make sure he's okay. Don't look for a calf under the ox, because that will ruin both yourself and your relationship.
You have no idea n. 11 how right he is. Unfortunately, this is the woman, raise your self-esteem a bit, create a sense of uniqueness and immediately thank you sexually. Yes, yes ...
Number 10 is absolutely right!