I am 38, and so is my wife. Our children aged 9 and 7 boys. My wife's lover, 43, his wife, 40. Two teenage girls, ages 11 and 15. We are familiar families, not exactly close, but we know each other. The action takes place three months ago. My wife's wife's lover finds out about their extramarital affair, and that's why I understand. We are intelligent people, no matter how much it hurts, we gather to solve the problem. No scandals, no beatings, no raising of tone. You endure everything deep inside yourself and your soul. They didn't know how it happened, but they fell in love. It all started with a chance meeting on the street, as they knew each other drinking coffee, sympathy, common interests, a second, third meeting and finally in bed. And so a year and a half. People are in love, and can love be hindered - no, of course! One bracket, during this time my wife had no change in behavior and anxiety, attention to me, me to her, sex, vacations, of course, child care, just a normal family. Only sometimes he cried for no reason, that's it. We collect them and tell them what we do from now on.
My wife has no home and nowhere to go, everything is mine before marriage. She is from a small town and their brother and family, with whom they are not on good terms, are spreading in their house. He offers me to live together in an apartment or elsewhere - no. They could not live without their children. My wife said her children came first, and so did he. We explain to them that no one will stop them from seeing or caring for their children. I call mine, you understand that our boys would find it difficult to adapt to another man, and he does not offer you anything in return. I also say - give you some reasonable suggestion. The answer is a roar. She has been on lexutanes and some antidepressants for three months, she became terribly distracted, so I forbade her to drive, she will have an accident. Her lover is silent like a shushumiga, repeating only that he does not give up on his children and that he loves them very much. I ask him directly in front of mine - do you take responsibility for my children. He tells me - I'm not ready, we do not have such an arrangement. My roar like a donkey during this time. His wife finally erupted and shouted: abe, are you children, you are wasting our time, you are wasting your time, determine what you want, how to move forward, you love each other. Then her husband started hugging her and shouting that he loved her very much, she pushed him and told him "let's leave him a fool". Mine mumbles through my tears and I love you very much. Well, good job - I shout - you love me, and you take off your pants in front of another.
Again roar. We can't find out if they are in love, if they love each other, or a complete mess. Time passes, and all this work does not reflect well on me, my heart beats, I am afraid that some trouble will happen to me, that mine cannot cope with the children. My wife's lover's wife is also not feeling well, systemic abdominal pain, irregular menstruation, etc. Abe, no matter how persistent we are, we are experiencing their infidelity. Ah, these two landlords can't make a decision. In the last conversation, three days ago, my wife's lover humiliated her terribly. Out of all this unseenness, I burst out and shouted at him, "What kind of man were you, can't you take responsibility?" He replied, "I didn't force your wife to sleep with me." he shouts, "Get out of my sight, within 24 hours you have left the apartment ". He replies no -" he is mine ". We go home, mine calls me to shoot her because she could not withstand the tension.
No, no - I shout - you want to get rid of it very easily. to tell you that she is a good mother and wife. I have not seen anything bad from her. I think I have treated her well too. I asked her - am I bad, am I rude, cold and insensitive to her, what I have done evil - I received an answer - "you have done me no harm. I don't know what happened to me to go this wrong way. "If I go rudely, it will kill her completely, she is not well now anyway, there is no home if I go to take her children even worse. She is without me I'm lost. I'm inclined to forgive, but I don't know if I'm scoring an own goal like that. I'll be grateful for any advice. I hope more women get involved, I rely more on their opinion, because they know the woman's soul better. We men are more extreme. Abe, in a word, I'm confused.
Answers 13
Now you forgive and very recently write here again about another infidelity on her part. For such women who lack nothing at home, but still "get stuck" with the first one who made them an offer, they do it just for fun and do not care at all about loved ones, children or husband. Until the moment they are revealed, everything is fine according to them, but if they are revealed, it starts with the acting performance of the kind I love you very much, but I don't know how it turned out. The other man is right that he didn't force her to take off her pants. This acting performance of a wife in love will continue until the next time the next fucker appears. Then she will decide that once you have forgiven, you will do it again, that if you see without her you cannot. The difference will be that it will be more careful than now and harder to understand, not that you understand now, where. My advice is, send her with the clothes to her chosen one, explain to the children why you do it and do not limit them in their views, because as I said, you will be fucked again, such women are just innate infidelity and do not care about anyone else except for their personal gain. Now it's tight and he immediately takes out the "children" card, but why not think about them during the infidelity
You're not a man, you're a duck. Get her out and look after your children. What are these humiliations you are subjected to ?!
I'm a woman and I can't imagine what attracted your wife to this bastard without balls, honestly. Maybe it's just easy and accessible for adventure / adrenaline (if you've gone too far in the gray area at home) and a stipulation not to spoil your families, but they have been revealed. That is, just another man, but the certainty that he will not cause problems. She may love you, but definitely not with love .... At the moment she is panicking that she is losing everything, and everything is you, because she has nothing of her own. It can be seen on the edge of a precipice. But !!! It is possible that he will fall in love with you again right now. If you are ready to try, I do not recommend you to "forgive" her lightly and softly. Set living conditions as roommates, continue to take care of the children together as before and you will see in time how you will feel. And observe the behavior from there on. Tell her, that you don't mind the children staying until they reach the age of majority and in the first 3-4 months you will find out if you are just a need or much more. But the important thing right now is to take care of yourself. Take a few days and go somewhere, relax, do not think if possible or at least not violently, the answers will come by themselves anyway. If you have to, have fun "aside" if you're going to feel better about it, but you have to relax those nerves and worries. Hmm ... some cases like yours end with a family among the deceived ... the answers will come on their own anyway. If you have to, have fun "aside" if you're going to feel better about it, but you have to relax those nerves and worries. Hmm ... some cases like yours end with a family among the deceived ... the answers will come on their own anyway. If you have to, have fun "aside" if you're going to feel better about it, but you have to relax those nerves and worries. Hmm ... some cases like yours end with a family among the deceived ...
First congratulations for the soberly ironic male approach to the situation and the process :). Serious work, there is no easy solution and it will be on your shoulders. My advice is not to hurry, in the sense of take her home and give her time. Now it's hard for her and I am already convinced that a woman is not like a man! He's obviously moldy. Give her time and talk as she calms down. Everyone makes mistakes, even those. Separation will kill her, hurt you and traumatize the children. Give yourself time and try to forgive. A man's life is a crossroads, but a real man never chooses his own path! M 43.
They made their decision in the beginning, now they are playing theater. Why do they do it? Because they did not intend to get together to live together, etc., nor do they love each other, but if they admit that they know each other from time to time to raise their self-confidence, you will kick them out and you will not be understood at all. tolerant. As a woman, I feel very good and I rise like that when other men compliment me and offer me, and mine, apart from criticizing me and dissatisfying me and disregarding my opinion and wishes, cannot do anything else. Didn't you do the same? I would not betray - it is against my nature, ie an example in my family, upbringing, value system. What were these clichés in common? -to fuck without commitments? Just think - you take care of your wife, the lover does not need to strain. He, on the other hand, is a fool and a man under a slipper. I'm sure his wife is the "man" in the family. He barely cares, supports his wife has found it easy in life. He thinks he's a bully, but he's not, a fool. His wife realized long ago that it was useless, so she took control. And your dear fool thought he was a god and caught him for that job. You say they loved their children, I'm sorry, but it's not. A parent should be an example to his child to teach him what is bad and what is good, to teach him that the most important thing is the family. And she takes off her pants for another man and most hypocritically without a gram of conscience plays with her family. Are you talking about forgiveness? I would not forgive the infidelity of such a person - who has no respect and valor to admit the truth and talk nonsense to buy time and confuse you. Talk to her and tell her that you will forgive her if you love her, but if she is honest about everything, why she started this relationship, what she thought, what made her. What she has told you so far is nonsense and insincere clichés. I was very angry, I was very sad for you and I want to pluck your wife honestly
Oh, Uncle! You seem very keen to believe that you are already so close to your lover's wife that she shares with you that she has had systemic abdominal pain, irregular menstruation, etc. You sit and talk, you shout! And you write very noble, you offer them to live in a dormitory. You write well, but you have no idea about women, and how they react when they have been cheated on. The eyes will shout at the mistress, not to sit and listen to the "future creative plans" of the adulterers! Once again, I tell you, if you have an irresistible desire to write, write in the fictional section.
First I want to congratulate you on the intelligence that you and the other woman have! Very commendable. As for the lover, it is obvious that he is neither in love nor does he love your wife. He just had the opportunity to melt his pepper in a place other than his wife's. Your story is another great example of how good families break up, so there's nothing, just for sports. I think your wife is really sorry, but she just succumbed to some adventure / fantasy or whatever you want to call it. We women have a tendency to want our lives to be like a novel and to have adventures. It is obvious that you love her very much and I don't think you will score an own goal if you stay with her, BUT it will be a long time before she manages to win your trust again. You will both suffer, you will blame yourself, you will cry,
I am a woman and I think if she really loved her lover, she will not think much of him - she will leave you. As soon as she "roars" and explains herself, in a word, she doesn't leave you and your family, maybe she cares more about you and, as she said, she "went the wrong way". Talk only to both of them and ask her what her real intentions are for you, does she still love you, if so - everyone is wrong, give yourself a second chance :)
From the whole story, I sincerely feel sorry for you and the other man's wife, and I sympathize with you for the strength to deal with such a situation. As a woman, I can only tell you that emotions play a big role in us and we give in to them easily. Your wife has obviously taken this path and is fascinated. You don't have to do something, obviously the problem is not in you. But sometimes there is nothing we can do when the person next to us feels the desire to be close to another. Of course, this unpleasant situation can serve as a very good lesson for your wife and understand that, after all, you are the person who is next to her and helps her. Many couples go this way and the biggest abomination is that even if you forgive and everything happens as before, the scar of infidelity remains. And the question "Doesn't he do it again?" Will always be present. In other circumstances (if your wife had the opportunity to move out), I would advise you to leave her alone and move on with your life. Circumstances and her labial state, however, simply force you to stay with her. Don't expect the other man to understand or take responsibility. You will not receive them. You can only talk to her and explain to her how much you are hurt by her actions and how unfair it is for you, who have always been by her side and for your children.
It's best to go out and talk only to the other's wife. You are both in the same position and decide what to do with your relationship. Don't wait for your wife or the other. They have no courage to do anything.
I've always thought that those of you who resort to such things ... don't really love the person next to you. They tell you that they love you, they show it to you, they prove it to you, but in the end they do exactly what they said they would never do. Ah, tell me now is this normal? What's normal about sleeping with a neighbor - a jerk who is neither a man nor anything. Given that you have such a person next to you and two wonderful children. Fight with a shovel on the head, otherwise they will not learn. From me to know. With good, if it doesn't work, you have to with bad. Let it hurt her, let her know and learn. Unfortunately, this is the way. Naughty, not naughty - everyone does it themselves. It was very interesting for them in the beginning and that's why they continued this 'thrill', which seems childish to me. My mind does not touch it. And it happened to me ... thank God we didn't have a dad. And when the time always comes for a serious conversation ... they start roaring, but when they are like that ... they didn't cry at all. Skinny lower to one. They don't deserve love or anything. But there is someone to punish them, it's not scary. Everyone writes their own sentence. Author, fuck them. Keep the children with you, when they come from Child Protection and when the mother says that there is no home ... who do you think they will stay with? With you, of course. Take care of them and teach them never to make or make such mistakes. when they come from Child Protection and when the mother says that she has no home ... who do you think they will stay with? With you, of course. Take care of them and teach them never to make or make such mistakes. when they come from Child Protection and when the mother says that she has no home ... who do you think they will stay with? With you, of course. Take care of them and teach them never to make or make such mistakes.
I am one of the ultimate men. If that's all - forgive her. However, if you caught her serving (not for that, but in principle, for different things), it won't be.
I have been in long-term relationships in which I have not cheated and I have not thought about it, I have been in those where I have cheated, I have gradually drawn conclusions about my scheme of functioning, if I do not find enough attention in a relationship, I look elsewhere . The comment on number 12 made me react, in addition to cheating on men who could not pay attention, but only demanded it, my reactions included whole scenarios, not just services. I am very happy with a passage from a book by Henry Miller, where he describes his girlfriend and her lover, writes that it is impossible for him to understand when they live in a Russian novel and when they do not fantasize. I have been in a relationship with a director for three years now, I am currently in love with a Bulgarian living in Canada. I see my ex, we hug, sometimes we even get intimacy. My director finds this normal. "Just" told me not to share my intimate experiences with him. And for the Bulgarian from Canada ... he told me that he would monitor the development and that he was not worried at all. How can I not love this man? !! Take it in a masculine way, women want us to be chosen and to be the gentle half, and even to make mistakes.