Hello. I start with the problem because I really don't know what to do. My mother not only does not create conditions for my personal space, but also takes away the little that is left of me! He constantly asks me who I've been out with, where, what I've done, what I've eaten, asks for photos for proof, makes me call or call my friends to confirm. He regularly calls my class to ask if I go to school. I contribute absolutely nothing to her behavior. Compared to all my sets, I'm terribly meek. I am 17, I have three girlfriends with whom I am a regular, and I maintain high success in school. I don't smoke, I don't go to clubs or I'm late - nothing! When I talk on the phone, I always, but always eavesdrop. No exceptions. He pulls me and yells at me, accusing me of taking drugs or drinking. My backpack and things are searched regularly, I don't know why. I tried to talk to her about it, to have a little more confidence in me, I try to show that there is nothing to worry about, but to no avail. Only the two of us live and it's just tragic, I'm in a terrible impasse. Advise me what to do ..
Answers 6
What do you think is the reason for this? Is she crazy, are there any bad things or what?
Don't take it personally. Looks like your mother has a problem with herself. It could be some kind of fear neurosis - something might happen to you. After all, you are the closest person. At your age, I was in a similar situation. He wouldn't let me go anywhere, or if he did let me go, I had an hour to go home, of course. If I was late, the end of the world would come. Then I told myself that if I had children, I would never treat them like that. But here I am now, the mother of a very small child and my heart is constricted for her. I don't know how I'm going to let her go to garden, school ... I can't even imagine it, even if it's not in front of my eyes. But I will have to deal with that as well.
Your mother raised you alone, she trembled over you and she loves you. Believe it or not - she does everything for your good. She may have heard / read some stories and is afraid, has no support from your father and feels even more responsible for you. So many terrible things are happening already, but maybe it's a little too much with the checks, try to talk to her or just accept it that by the time you're 18 at least she'll be worried about you
(1) accept that she has some mental problems (2) treat her like a person with such problems - do not try to argue with her and convince her more than once, agree with her and as far as you have the strength - ignore its bad manifestations, just do not react in any way, at least visibly; (3) if you have the time and energy - look for ways for an outsider (relative, specialist, family friend, etc.) to try to help her; do not try to enter into such a role, because first you are part of the internal system and you are biased at least, the second you will enter a role that is in conflict with your role as a child; (3) purposefully does everything possible to be financially independent; don't get too involved in unnecessary subjects at school, think about what profession you would like to have and from now on invest time to develop in the respective field,
Your mother goes a long way, but there's some reason to worry, especially when she sees what's going on in the news. Last summer, an 11-year-old girl lost her life precisely because of a lack of parental control. If her parents had at least some control over access to social networks, this tragedy could have been prevented.
It remains for me to lurk at the door and at night not to do someone work!