Hello, please publish my story, because I really need adequate advice. I am a girl of almost 18. I'm a smart child, I've never caused problems for my parents, my grades in school are pretty good, but maybe the time has come for me to break away from my parents, start going out more and have fun ... but they just suffocate me, I'm too small for everything. I don't have friends because they go out in the evening, and I'm not allowed to. I understand that they want to protect me, I'm grateful for that, but I need at least a little free, at least a little life experience in life, sometimes I think it's better to let me make a mistake to make conclusion and not to repeat it. I can safely say that they ruined my first "relationship", cut me off from society, made me shrunken and antisocial, which can only be a minus in my future development as a person. More than once I have tried to explain to them that they can trust me, that I have a real and accurate assessment and when I see that something will hurt me I avoid it, but they do not understand me - they continue with the threats that I will not receive money. Here comes the other part of the problem, namely money - we have it and that is the problem, but for me they are not a factor because I have never felt the benefits of them. From the age of 12 I collect from my own pockets to buy clothes, I have bought medicines more than once, and when I think about it in less than half a year I will have to work, they just have to accept that I have grown up, that I have need of independence, I would even say that I am eventually ready to support myself.
Answers 9
And I have no friends for your reasons, but my people let me go out, but they constantly tell me bad things about people and quarrel with them, one was ugly, the other was hypocritical, the third looked like a dog, I shouldn't go out with this one, the one not to go out and I was left alone and antisocial like you. It is difficult for such parents to prove that you are independent, my classmates from the age of 12 sleep with each other, travel together to other cities, and last year when I was 16 and they did not let me go to a city that is 1 hour time we wanted to go for a walk by train with a girl and come back in the evening, but they didn't let me go because I was small and I was going to get lost, and I had gone there once and I know people from there and I wouldn't get lost , but they treat me like I'm in 1st grade. Our parents can't imagine that we will be big, we will have families and we will be responsible, we are their little girls. In my opinion, you have to go to a friend or alone and start work and study and do it yourself, whether you can do it or you will be exhausted, you have to do it to face life and show them that you can . Don't be afraid, come on, there's nothing wrong with that.
It's called "obsessed" parents, not "obsessed."
Ask them to leave late at night (normal hours not at three), explain to them who you are going out with, where you are going, etc. Everything is normal, as far as I understand they will not let you go after talking to them (it is important to be able to you say I told you) and go out without telling them anything more, without money you survive, you will go out in the neighborhoods, yours are obliged to feed you at home and explain to them lato you realize that this will not happen and realize a little because one day when you go out into the big world and they will fuck you a lot, manipulate you, etc. Just because you haven't learned what it took to godoniya on which you go out carelessly with developers and success danp I helped :)
Well ... You already know that life is not rosy. Now it's time to try to do it. You are 18 years old. It's really time to break away from your parents. There are so many things to do. You can find a job. You can meet new people. Trying new things. To find a suitable boy for you. To make mistakes and to correct yourself. To fall and stand up. To be just yourself. You will do it. Good luck.
Life experience is not accumulated by going out at night ... The only thing that is accumulated is ... an account for alcohol, number and some other venereal disease.
Don't worry - I was too. Literally until I graduated from university, / 22 years. / they almost made me ask them if I could go to a club. I always had to ask, please, ask permission. They kept muttering that I didn't hang out with the right people. They kept thinking I was a baby, I couldn't think, and I couldn't take care of myself, even though it was clear I wasn't. Then, when I started working and became independent, things changed radically. The bad thing about your age is that you are still financially dependent on them and they can blackmail you with it. Try to find your own income and then you will tell where the train should go.
Yes, the same with me, except that like Daddy I go out and step on my neck, at least Mom understands me. The difference is that I'm a boy, but I'm thinking of putting an end to this, try it and tell them that once you're an adult you can decide for yourself
I think there will be enough advice on the subject. For now 7 comments are waiting for approval. I will only add from personal experience as a child growing up with such parents. After a while in your relationships you will suffocate in the same way, you will want freedom and you will not A person carries these things into his relationships later and it happened to me. I hope you break away sooner.
I very much doubt the usefulness of my "answer". And how trusting young people are .. I'm starting to convince myself that "technology" doesn't work in this case either, I don't know if it's better than "face" here ... Why would you look for advice on the Internet - don't you have friends who have exactly the same "problem". But it is so now, and for a long time now, who has read or listened to the heart - we look "to the west" ... "This is not a technological breakdown, this is the road to hell" as the poet says. At one time - I'm only 32 - there was no internet - can you imagine ?? !! I don't know about the girls, but I went everywhere - there were no jiesemi - without calling and without anyone worrying. But now I'm not a parent like my classmates in the neighborhood to know why some are worried - maybe I guess - on the news what things are reported ... But - this - your child to rely on advice from someone once on the "net" ... Fuck. I will not fix it. I will only say that in normal countries - not on TV and radio (the capital) is as it was here a hundred years ago in a positive sense. Children and young people also have freedom, but it is real, because the concept of freedom has a much deeper meaning. I'm not worried that what I'm writing won't be useful to you ... I don't know you and I won't get to know you so that I can give you any advice - there are real people alive and alive for that. Fortunately, I lived at least a little in this life when I wasn't plastered in front of the computer. My situation is more terrible - in these years I am still with ours, I have no independent income, which in our and in which not reality turns out to be very important, but of course not everything. So now I'm trying to live independently despite this and despite the "worries that can really be pathological. Experience. If the reality is different - can experience help? When I was alive I tried to be free in the external sense ... and the result I tried to live separately without finding a job and without being really independent, I became estranged from the people from school and started to express myself on the Internet ... I also wanted to make money from the Internet, which I think other people want us not to be caught on fishing rods ... If the advice is - do not trust Internet advisors or, for example, give up Facebook - will anyone be able to accept it? Given that people seem to have less and less trust in real people? This niche with the Internet cannot be filled. And who will post such a comment?