Hello, My story for someone is trivial and banal for another is stupid. I am such a dissatisfied person, I carry my cross, and as I see it, I think I will wear it forever. I'm guilty of it, of course, but it's like I want to share it with someone. I'm approaching the age of Christ, and somehow I saw the so-called love only "in a shop window". I don't look like Brad Pitt, but I'm not ugly. I have had a lot of connections and experiences since my school years. But this thrill, the feeling of love, the feeling of feeling that you are flying, that nothing else matters but touching the hand of the beloved, is a kind of chimera. Over time, I began to see that this did not have to happen to everyone. And maybe it really happens very rarely and people do not admit it. For so many years, I've only fallen in love with a girl, which responded to my feelings. But even then everything lasted very short. It turned out that she was not alone and we could not be together. The happy flight ended in the second or third week. Then a few more months of desperate attempts that turned into excruciating suffering. Thank God I got it.
Now I even wonder why I experienced it. A friend told me then, to be grateful for these moments, that he could not have them. Well, yes, but it's hard to come to terms with that. Many years have passed since then. I began to build a philosophy that love is not the most important thing in this world. I'm just with someone because it's better than being alone. And in his society better accepted. I learned to hug and kiss without feeling. I emphasized the material world. I have a good education, a profession that I work with pleasure. I bought a nice car, which got me out of that hole for a while. Honestly, I think this is one of my happiest emotions in this life. But I wonder if that's what should make me happy. Five years ago I met a girl I am still with today. She is cute, loving, obviously holds on to me, but I could never fall in love with her. I love her and hold on to her, but that dream of unrequited love remains. I even fell in love with other girls twice during that time. Of course, there was no result. This inevitably affects my attitude towards her. I can't give her what she deserves. I feel guilty in front of her and myself. I have become a ball of nerves and sometimes I feel like after 20-30 years of marriage with a completely extinguished desire for life. Only with the difference that I skipped the first few years, of happiness and carefreeness and I have jumped directly into the gray of everyday life. I don't know if this is normal? I have thought many times that, strictly speaking, the probability of meeting a liked person and that he also experiences reciprocal feelings in terms of probabilities is very small. Or, if this eventually happens, then different circumstances will not allow the connection to be realized. Maybe I'm more likely to win a six in the lottery. That is why often in a relationship only one loves and the other is left to be loved. Or am I lying, I don't know? I still can't find a meaningful answer to this question. And my age is advancing and the moment is already ripe for more serious changes, such as family, children. And I'm already mentally exhausted. Maybe I will formally get married and start a family, but I have the feeling that I will never stop looking for her.
Answers 6
I think you're looking for something that only exists in books. You will hardly find such love in life, but I wonder why you actually need it? Most people have never felt this way, but they live wonderfully - they find something else to give meaning to their lives and make them happy. I think you are exhausted emotionally, looking for illusory emotions. Respect, friendship, trust and physical attraction are enough for a relationship. After all, you're not 20 years old, get down on the ground. I'm sorry if I sounded harsh and rude, I didn't mean to offend you, but I think the search for such an emotion is extremely unrealistic.
There is this thing, but as you say, extremely rare, and not for everyone. Years ago, I thought it was for everyone, but later, like you, I saw that it is not so at all and it happens to very few people. Your friend rightly told you to enjoy these moments, that they may not be there. These moments that you talk about when they happen to us, we can't catch and hold them. It is impossible, as in fairy tales, for the prince and the princess to finally get married and live happily. At least my experience shows that, and as I see it, yours. So don't look. Give up searching, expecting love, let it find you. If it appears - fine. If not ... as 1 tells you, love and respect what you have. Don't think: it's getting late, I'll be old, and when will I have a family, a child ... think positively, not from the position of lack and need.
DON'T DARE TO MARRY HER !!! Only a perfect scumbag would do it. It was time for children - blah - blah! Children are made with love, not because they "should". You are a man, you can have children at any age. Break up with this girl, right? wasting time. Love will find you too. Just make sure he doesn't find you already married and with children, because then you will write here again. And "wife" you and she will write ... Is that what you want? Wait for your love, but don't ruin another person's life, it's not fair ... Boronia
I think you long so badly for some burning emotion because you haven't experienced it, but it's unlikely to make you happier. True love is always associated with suffering and very rarely ends in a happy ending. No matter how strong a love is, everyday life inevitably takes away from its strength and brilliance. I have experienced such a shaking love as described in the books, of course with the wrong person. We shared many things, and this true love never materialized in everyday life. Probably why she was so strong as a feeling. However, I think that the girl you live with does not deserve to be used to fill the void in yourself and to be better accepted by others. In our society, when you are alone, something is wrong with you. I'm alone because I don't want to be with someone to hug and kiss without feelings. At least wait until you fall in love, the emotion may not be so strong, but at least there is in the beginning. So now you feel like you didn't have a "honeymoon" with this woman, but you just jumped into the routine and everyday life. Give yourself and her a chance.
To know that what you long for really exists. Another question is whether you are destined to meet her and how old. After all, you are a man and you have more time. Not only is emotion important, but you have no idea what understanding and harmony there is in such a relationship. And your soul rejoices. And I'm not talking about falling in love. This is a great thing. Not everyone is destined to experience it, or rather to recognize it. Don't give up, but release the girl. It's not fair, given that you long for something else to waste her time. She probably doesn't have strong feelings for you either, since she failed to touch you. Unfortunately, people put up with such connections.
I support №3! Why are you fooling her too? And maybe others ....? What goes around comes around!