Hi, I'm a girl of 14. I have a sister who is almost 13. For as long as I can remember, our people have always preferred her to me. She has always been a good, well-mannered child, an excellent student at school, a good athlete. While they always had a different attitude towards me. I feel like they take care of me by force. We are in separate rooms and hers is bigger and nicer. 2 years ago she asked for a dog and they immediately took it, and I have been wanting a bunny for a long time and they don't take it from me. When I tell them that it is obvious that they love her more, they call me selfish and that I think only of my own interests. True, she is smarter, better, more talented, but I am also their child and it is not my fault that I was born ... All my life I have been in the background. I am constantly compared to my sister. I am very sensitive and emotional and that affects me a lot. Only my aunt loves me and she sees too, that ours treat me differently. She has talked to them about it many times, but they don't pay attention to her either. I feel terrible, I don't know what to do ...
Answers 9
This is the eternal dilemma, especially of the older child, who has lived as an only child for some time. Your problem is that you are same-sex and twin. There are no such problems with three children, so it is recommended to have either 1 child, or three children, or five children, but never an even number, but anyway. You describe the problem from your point of view, but for your parents maybe is quite another. Besides, your parents are just people and they make mistakes. In my opinion, if it is true that they are ignoring you, they are trying to manipulate you to change in the direction of your sister. She's probably just playing their whistle more than you are. However, if you talk to her, you will understand that it is not easy for her to always meet their wishes. People like her sometimes break up and make a revolution :) You just don't play their whistle or you're not that, which they have imagined and imagine that by refusing attention, love and comparisons they will change you in the desired direction. Error! Yes, we all have the right to unconditional love from our parents, but not all parents are willing or able to give it, simply because they are damaged children of parents like them. The solution for you is to accept things as they are. You can't change your parents, but you can get rid of your jealousy and look for bridges to your sister, who most likely really loves you the way you are. Separately for the dog - it is family. Don't take it personally, but most likely your parents themselves wanted a dog as a child or your sister was just more convincing and had to do something to get that dog, but the dog is here - it's yours too. It's a pity you feel that way, but self-pity doesn't work. Learn to love yourself, to look for pleasure in things outside the home, you in turn to love people unconditionally, and your parents love you in their own way and want only the best for you and therefore try to manipulate you to be more -good student and so on. It is a pity, however, that they do it with rejection, denial of love and attention .... forgive them and you will feel better.
Darling, there is also the opposite option for the older child to be an example, and for the parents to compare him with the older one and make him be like him. In your case, the opposite is true, your sister is more diligent and better in some respects, they do not like that you are not so good in them and therefore they constantly compare you with her and want you to be like her. which is practically impossible because there are no exactly the same people in this world. Even if identical twins, even if they look alike, there is always something to be different about, be it the character, the success in school, the endeavors. Talk to them, explain to them again how you feel, if you have to make a scene, don't go home one night and leave them a letter describing your pain.
And I'm like that with my brother, I'm a girl of 15, he's 10. Always, but absolutely ALWAYS he's in the foreground, he's always smaller, he didn't understand, I was teasing him, I always had to give way etc. Even with such outdated understandings that they want to leave the house to him in years to come, and I was going to get married. His desires are always before mine, there is always money for his interests, but not for mine ... it's awful! As a child, I was beaten and punished with my hands raised in the corner of the room, and he was never touched with a finger, he had no idea what a fight and punishment was. I'm just waiting to finish high school and disappear, I won't bother anymore.
Many people are like me, but stop expecting recognition from your parents, the sooner the better, there is nothing to do, so, think about your future, study, think about what you will do when you graduate, meet with friends. When you turn 18, you will be able to have a dog and everything you want.
Love yourself, love your sister too. If you feel neglected, share it with your parents, but don't let it be in your sister's presence. Sometimes parents neglect a child and do not feel it. ... n1 - Even number of children? In what great psychological-pedagogical work did you read this?
Try something out of the ordinary. Why don't you run to a friend they won't think of. I don't know if you have the so-called "awe" that most children have, but when you get bored, there's nothing wrong with hiding with a friend, a relative, or people who will understand you. Try it with your aunt if she doesn't mind. My mother and aunt were like that. My mother is older, but at the same time "stupider". However, my aunt did not treat her badly and does not do so to this day. To this day, they help each other. The problem was with their parents. Gradually, my mother hated herself and kept telling me that she was stupid, that she was useless, even though that wasn't true. So, can you answer me: 1. Do you hate your sister? 2. Is she thinking of something more than you or is she trying to get into your situation? 3. Did you tell your sister how you were feeling? If the answers are: 1. No. 2. He understands me and tries to help me. 3. Of course, she is my sister! It does not need to pay attention to your parents and their attitude towards you, especially if you are sensitive and emotional. Learn something very important that most people don't have: don't care about anything that doesn't make sense. In this case, you can just imagine. But if the answers are the complete opposite of what I told you, rest assured that you can escape;). P.P. For №3, if you didn't tell her, do it and see the result. Not that anything, but can you reply to the comment in the messages if you don't have a problem ^. ^. girl / 14 years It does not need to pay attention to your parents and their attitude towards you, especially if you are sensitive and emotional. Learn something very important that most people don't have: don't care about anything that doesn't make sense. In this case, you can just imagine. But if the answers are the complete opposite of what I told you, rest assured that you can escape;). P.P. For №3, if you didn't tell her, do it and see the result. Not that anything, but can you reply to the comment in the messages if you don't have a problem ^. ^. girl / 14 years It does not need to pay attention to your parents and their attitude towards you, especially if you are sensitive and emotional. Learn something very important that most people don't have: don't care about anything that doesn't make sense. In this case, you can just imagine. But if the answers are the complete opposite of what I told you, rest assured that you can escape;). P.P. For №3, if you didn't tell her, do it and see the result. Not that anything, but can you reply to the comment in the messages if you don't have a problem ^. ^. girl / 14 years Q. For №3, if you didn't tell her, do it and see the result. Not that anything, but can you reply to the comment in the messages if you don't have a problem ^. ^. girl / 14 years Q. For №3, if you didn't tell her, do it and see the result. Not that anything, but can you reply to the comment in the messages if you don't have a problem ^. ^. girl / 14 years
I am the third child - think. As long as yka pleases me in the first two, there is nothing left for me, no attention, there is nothing for me. I feel the same way! It's disgusting and I feel unnecessary and repulsed. Why didn't she remove me when she found out she was pregnant? Why ??! Why is Srga subjecting me to this torture? I see regret in her eyes from time to time, but again the same attitude ... I have always been the dumbest, the most lost, the most ... There is no point in listing more ... I advise you not to pay attention! It's really better. Emotional non-emotional, whatever your behavior will gradually make you a cold and vicious person. I don't care - I've been patient for 16 years. I grit my teeth a little more and fly out two hundred! Don't care - people like your sister get spoiled, etc. And those like us are doing well in life! Endure a little more;) Girl 16
Thanks to everyone for the comments! To number 6 - Of course my sister and I don't hate each other, we're sisters after all. But I can't say that we understand each other. All her life she strives to be better than me in everything and to provoke envy in me. As long as I don't envy her in the least, I rejoice in her success. Whenever I achieve some success, she stands out with her and I go unnoticed. I asked her why she did that, and she said it was my fault because I was stupid ... The author
Hello! I am the youngest child and I am always compared to my brother