Hello, I am writing in order to get some really adequate advice and to calm down. I am 19 years old, my friend with whom we live together at the age of 25. He has a twin brother (they are identical), and here comes the problem, but I am jealous of his brother, there is a very strong connection between them, they constantly communicate. My boyfriend does not talk to me, does not share with me, does not get excited about our conversations, does not tell me anything when he has a problem, shares it with him, not with me, does not feel interest when he has already shared it with someone and received advice .. I am very annoyed because she tells him absolutely everything, and I do not like these things, whatever it is in the relationship to stay there .. His brother also has a girlfriend, both couples have been together for 4 years and we live on one floor, with her I don't like it at all "we look at blood". In fact, nothing secret can remain between us, his brother always knows where we are, who we are with, what we eat and drink ... I have no friends, only he is mine and I expect that when something happens he will share me and support each other ... I am annoyed that they are talking about women maybe the like .. Every time I call him his phone is busy and I get angry that instead of calling me to hear me, he constantly talks to the other ... I'm jealous because they have their own language to speak when something happens looking for him first, I feel in the background. :( I don't want to quarrel or separate, don't get me wrong, but cars, motorcycles, clothes, shoes are all the same .. When I buy something from my friend then his brother buys it ... There is always competition between us 4 So ... What should I do Am I right to be angry or do I not think soberly? I can't judge things only he is me and I expect when something happens to share me and support each other ... I'm annoyed that they talk about women maybe the like .. Every time I call him his phone is busy and I get angry that instead of he calls me to hear me, he is constantly talking to the other ... I am jealous because they have their own language to speak, when something happens they look for him first, I feel in the background. :( I don't want to quarrel or separate, don't get me wrong, but cars, motorcycles, clothes, shoes are all the same .. When I buy something for my friend then his brother buys it ... There is always competition between us 4 So ... What should I do? Am I right to be angry or do I not think soberly? I can't judge things only he is me and I expect when something happens to share me and support each other ... I am annoyed that they talk about women maybe the like .. Every time I call him his phone is busy and I get angry that instead of he calls me to hear me, he is constantly talking to the other ... I am jealous because they have their own language to speak, when something happens they look for him first, I feel in the background. :( I don't want to quarrel or separate, don't get me wrong, but cars, motorcycles, clothes, shoes are all the same .. When I buy something from my friend then his brother buys it ... There is always competition between us 4 So ... What should I do? Am I right to be angry or do I not think soberly? I can't judge things Every time I call him his phone is busy and I get angry that instead of calling me to hear me, he is constantly talking to the other ... I am jealous because they have their own language to speak, when something happens he looks for him first, I feel in the background. :( I don't want to quarrel or separate, don't get me wrong, but cars, motorcycles, clothes, shoes are all the same .. When I buy something from my friend then his brother buys it ... There is always competition between us 4 So ... What should I do? Am I right to be angry or do I not think soberly? I can't judge things Every time I call him his phone is busy and I get angry that instead of calling me to hear me, he is constantly talking to the other ... I am jealous because they have their own language to speak, when something happens they look for him first, I feel in the background. :( I don't want to quarrel or separate, don't get me wrong, but cars, motorcycles, clothes, shoes are all the same .. When I buy something for my friend then his brother buys it ... There is always competition between us 4 So ... What should I do? Am I right to be angry or do I not think soberly? I can't judge things
Answers 9
Honey, they were together in the mother's womb. It's normal to have a strong relationship. I say that because I have the same observations. My friend has twins, they are identical, but somehow I got used to both. I came to terms with the fact that their connection is stronger than that with me. I do not get annoyed, on the contrary, I talk every day with both, we share, and when I quarrel with one, the other makes us better. At times they come in more, yes, but in general we are fine.
Well, let him live with his brother and that's it! Since the conditions in a relationship do not suit you - you leave it, whether they are caused by a twin brother or Mother Teresa ... I will tell you one thing - it is NOT NORMAL for a person to share everything with his brother or sister. It is normal to do it with your partner.
Emmy, you're right. Ask them if they are serious. Men have such gay performances with each other. Literally wondering. I just called them that. But I don't think you're going to separate them by force. Somehow you have to show your boy that childhood is a thing of the past.
They are my dear brothers. They were together before you and will be after you, understand that. You're right to be angry that he doesn't share much with you. Apparently he still doesn't trust you too much, he's used to his brother, it's normal for him to talk to him easier. But talk to everyone together and have his brother there. And turn the conversation NOT in the direction that you do not like that they are talking, but in the direction to include you in at least part of their conversations.
Well, yes, you have the right to be angry with yourself, because that's not what you want. But it could hardly be changed. You can talk to him and tell him that you only want to be in a relationship with him, not his brother, and that you feel neglected. If he cares about you, he will try to change something. If I were you and I didn't feel well, I would leave. However, these annoyances affect health and everything. It can really seem small, and that's why you doubt your own judgment. Do not doubt, do not invent. This does not mean that you are ungrateful, etc., as many people may tell you. It does not mean that he is guilty .. Besides, it is the seemingly small things that affect us the most, because we solve the serious ones and tolerate the inappropriate ones ... until one day the glass overflows. Don't wait for it to overflow.
And why don't you like his brother's boyfriend? What is the reason? I have a twin brother and from now on I tell you that a relationship between twins does not break down. They are together before they are born, they grew up together and it is normal for them to share many things. Even if they quarrel, they still can't do without each other, they are wanted. Because both my mother and my aunt are twins and I have seen that it is the same with them. Tell your friend about the problem that you feel neglected. And who buys what and that it's the same for me is nonsense, what do you care? As it is not comfortable for you to be 4th or do not get together with them and be only with your boyfriend and find other friends, or try to fit in somehow. The lion
He will not isolate his brother because of you and it is too much to want him! Either swallow it or dump it! Blood is thicker than water! I understand that you are uncomfortable, you have explained why, but these are your options. Yes, you can be together for a long time, be attached and love each other, but you are just a woman in his life. Although you live together, you are his girlfriend, not his wife. He is his family, his own brother! If your friend decides to change something himself after you have explained to him how you feel, fine then, but you have no right to insist and demand that he keep his brother aside so that you are comfortable.
I understand you perfectly. I'm like that with my friend, only he doesn't have a brother but a best friend. Just today, another nonsense happened, I got angry and told him that I was tired of being in the background. He started caressing me and saying that I was not in the background and the like. And what they are talking about - it is very clear that they are also talking about women. That fool made the mistake in front of me of missing out on how cool she was ... Well, I got it back haha. Bullshit...
You cannot break such a strong bond between brothers. Glad that if you miss it, there will be someone to help you. Do not be jealous of him, because he will want the best for his brother. He will not separate you in peace, because if he wanted to, he would have separated you from the very beginning. He is not looking for an enemy in him, but for a friend. L. K. 17g.