I am a woman of 44. I have been divorced for 8 years. and I have a second "husband / husband" with whom we have not been officially married, but we have a 5-year-old child. For him, this is the first child. I have two older children from my first marriage, who are 18 and 16 years old - a boy and a girl. I divorced my first husband because of a dissimilarity in character, on my own initiative. There was no infidelity. It was very difficult for me to divorce, he refused to give me a divorce to the last and claimed that he cared for me and that he loved me. However, I divorced. My children's parental rights were assigned to me. Regarding the family home, my husband offered to sell it and to deposit the money in euros in the name of each of the children until they reach the age of majority. He went to the apartment, and we moved into the apartment of my parents, who moved to live in the villa. The husband has always paid alimony on a regular basis. He kept in touch with the children and I never limited them. My ex-husband is an electrical engineer by profession and has been working abroad in Germany for three and a half years. He insisted that my children travel to him every month, even for two or three days. All expenses were at his expense. I didn't stop them. At the moment, both of my children live with him. After the divorce, I didn't let a man near me for a long time, but in the end I got scared. My so-called second husband is three years younger than me, a bachelor until he met me. I loved him because he was calm and balanced, or so it seemed to me. He was very delicate with my children. He showed a certain tightness, but I didn't pay much attention to that. He moved in with me and my children. I gave birth to a child 5 years ago, a boy. I can't hide that my children from my first marriage showed some distance to him and to me, especially when I was pregnant with my third child. They stayed with their father for a long time and I made constant scandals to get them home. I gave birth to a child, but he had health problems. I went to doctors all the time, quit my job, worked in a private company and there was no one to tolerate my absences. We were left with only my second husband's salary and that made him nervous, scandals started, and it affected the maintenance of my children from my first marriage. Bad job at all. The children were not happy at all and told me in plain text that they did not want to live with me anymore, but with their father. They asked me not to stop them, so it was better. I did not stop them and they went to Germany with their father to study and live. They have been there for almost three years. At the age of 4, however, my child was diagnosed with a tumor, which urgently (within a month) had to be removed. They couldn't help me in Bulgaria and I had to have surgery abroad, they recommended a clinic in Germany. The craniocerebral surgery, together with the stay and other additional costs, cost 70,000 euros. I didn't have any time. I know as a mother what I have experienced. I spoke with my second husband and his relatives, who told me categorically that they had no money to help me and no property to sell. They lied, but that's another topic. I didn't have time to open a fundraiser, it was just the most extreme option possible. However, my parents were ready to sell everything and the apartment and the villa, but they had nowhere to live. My father then offered me to settle in a nursing home. I also started thinking about a mortgage, but they only gave me half the money. Then my second husband began to persuade me to encroach on the money of my other two children, as I had mentioned to him the sale of our family home. I explained to him that we are great people, this child is ours and we have to deal with the problem ourselves. My other children don't owe us anything. Then he started accusing me of not loving the child of him, of watching more for my other children. My nerves were unbearable and I made such a scandal of him and kicked him out of the house. He went to his parents. Dad came from the villa and started to get documents to sell the apartment in Sofia and he called me all 50,000 we will take from him, the other 20,000 there is no way not to come. And the doctors there may be waiting for you. My mother cries and shouts, call Milen, this is the name of the ex, break this pride. Your children are with him, it's about saving lives. I picked up the phone and called him, explained everything to him about the child's illness and the problems with my second husband, etc. He shouted at him without thinking, grab the child and did not think about money. We are waiting for you! I called my second husband and told him I had to leave. He wanted him to come too, he was going to take a vacation. I told him to secure 5,000 euros from the godfather's shame and come with me. He became furious and slammed my phone, saying that he very much doubted whether the child was his and various other nonsense. I was no longer angry. It's good that I had a power of attorney certified before and I left for Germany. My ex and my children were waiting for me and I and my third child welcomed me very warmly. My first husband had already secured the money. I will not heal the date 05. 03. 2015 was then the operation of my child and they removed the tumor. Thank God there were no distractions. Everything went well. For three months, the child was recovering in the clinic and under medical supervision. My daughter was always by my side and canceled me, and my son and my first husband were always available. After I was discharged from their clinic, my children and my husband invited me to visit them at home for another two months. It was beautiful. The child adapts wonderfully. I had the opportunity to be alone with my ex several times. I offered his father at least to transfer the ownership of the apartment in Sofia to him. I knew that this money was for our children, but with it he saved the life of a child unknown to him. She didn't want anything. He told me that both my little child and I should have a home. He hugged me and cried so much on his shoulder. The children brought me back to the memories when we were a family and when I watched them my heart overflowed with joy. All this time, my second husband once did not pick up the phone and once refused to hear me. I wrote him an e-mail and there is no answer. I returned to Bulgaria. A letter in the mail was waiting for me. In it he explained to me that he was parting with me forever, that I had used it over the years and did not deserve it, that the child did not feel it as his own. Apparently, the last difficult years along with the health of our child had taken his mind ... At the moment, a lawsuit is being filed by me against my second husband for depriving him of parental rights. Let my little son know who saved his life, instead of who created it ... Am I right? that the child did not feel it as his own. Apparently the last difficult years along with the health of our child had taken his mind ... At the moment a lawsuit is being filed by me against my second husband for depriving him of parental rights. Let my little son know who saved his life, instead of who created it ... Am I right? that the child did not feel it as his own. Apparently, the last difficult years along with the health of our child had taken his mind ... At the moment, a lawsuit is being filed by me against my second husband for depriving him of parental rights. Let my little son know who saved his life, instead of who created it ... Am I right?
Answers 25
I would write a lot, but I will only say this - the apartment you sold with your ex was 50% yours, ie in the end half is divided between all your children and half of your husband between his. And what do you teach your children - not to help a sick brother? And if your parents had sold it, wouldn't money be taken from the inheritance of your older children again? Finally, the two men in your life think more soberly than you, and your children are older. NB !!! Think about other people's behavior, but also think about your own! Health and luck! ж28
From number 1 - look, the abandonment of the child by your second husband, I definitely do not approve of it! ж28
Firstly, I'm glad that the child is already well and secondly, WHAT A DEVIL is your second husband, so that he doesn't care about his own child? !! I don't understand it. Otherwise, the right of your ex and your older children, that even though you are no longer an official family, they acted like people and did not leave you or the child in trouble. At least now you have learned the lesson and you know who the really important people in your life are, namely your ex, your older children and your parents. I don't know if there's a chance you can reunite with your ex, but even if it doesn't happen, I'm sure you'll always be able to count on him when needed. Well done once again man! So look after your child and be happy, and who knows, miracles happen and you can reunite with your ex. As for the "father" of this child, I'm sorry to be rude, but to me he's rubbish! You don't care if your child lives or dies to the point that at least you don't call on the phone to ask how the operation went ... I don't understand, honestly. So if you can win full parental rights and your child never remembers him best. Be happy and believe that happier days await you and your child.
Ma'am, how could you miss your ex-husband? !! I'm not married, but I can only thank you for sharing your story. God knows his job! Did you pay a high price for the divorce on your own initiative? Your ex-husband is unique. Isn't there a chance to get together?
For your child is right, it is not his fault that you gave birth to him after great life cataclysms. Your first husband really proved that he loves you. Only a truly loving man would act so noble. But you are ungrateful. You never had feelings for him, so why did you give birth to his children and then expel him? Your third child pays for your sins. It is good that your first husband is a real man, to compensate for your sins. History proves that money does not make happiness, it is just a means of subsistence. Enjoy life and at least treat your third child honestly!
Hi, I don't see anything normal in your second husband's behavior. I don't know his financial means, but the fact that he didn't even make an effort to raise some of the money for his own child's treatment, that he didn't give you moral support - there's nothing normal about that. I don't want to judge him, maybe he really went through too much and lost his mind. But a man must be strong, a support to his family. Your ex-husband did a wonderful and right thing. After all, it's about human life, though not his child. He's obviously a great person, it's a pity you didn't fit in as characters. I've always wondered why women lose interest in men like him and fall in love with people like your second husband. But one cannot command one's heart.
You are absolutely right !!! Hmm ... I want to say daughter - Thanks to the balls of your first husband! The second is obviously a human parasite, you have the right to take away parental rights, because one day he may take advantage of what YOU will achieve for this child. Take care of yourself and your child and your life. But you're right, of course. You put up with it a lot again. And it's good that he left on his own, because you would probably still be going. I wish you success, health and happy childhood of the child!
No, you're not! How at such an age with two children will you decide that you have a dissimilarity in character with your husband. I, if I were your husband and your children, would seriously consider whether you ever cared for me. On top of everything, you brought your "new" husband to live with your children ... I, if I had been then, would have gathered my luggage ... Well done to your husband for his generosity! It's good to know who saved his life, also explain to him why he will grow up without his biological father
May your child be alive and well, but you did not properly appreciate your first husband, who even then told you that he loves you, and later you understood it yourself, after he treated you humanely and helped you with everything!
Extremely difficult story. Without knowing your first husband, I already loved him. He may be a difficult character, but he is a man with a huge heart. God forbid there are more people like him. As for the father of the second child, of course you are right and I would do the same in your place. Since he has not taken any responsibility for his child in such a difficult time, obviously you will not be able to rely on him in the future. May your child be alive and well and your dedicated parents you can count on. I wish you success and more luck in the future!
A very touching, but rather instructive story for women who do not know what they want and why they want it. The "dissimilarity" in the characters, I guess, was a constant grumbling from you that you didn't live as well as your girlfriend or neighbor. No wonder your parents have given a shoulder to your whims. Then comes the lesson, hard and bad. And this "dissimilar" solves it in a human way. And your children, who have previously denied you for the second reason, support you. And now you are shedding bitter tears, but let me tell you you will not regret it. Live alone and try to help your children without looking for faults in others. And to know that you were lucky, very lucky with your first husband.
No no he is no father once he refuses to help have his own child! A friend of my father so razvyprah years ago took his son to the hospital - the child was about 5-6 to operate on him for appendicitis. He once did not remember to come to visit and ask how the child was. With them the case is even more serious. She abandoned her son from the first marriage to be looked after by his parents, and before that the parents of the second and the above-mentioned man looked after him. After the divorce, she takes the big boy, dumps him with them to look after him, leaves the little one with her father and goes to live with some lover. He took his son once every 2-3 months to take him to a pastry shop for half an hour. Now the boy is 10th grade and if not his grandfather and uncle, who is an old bachelor to take care of him, he will be left to the whims of fate in the presence of two living parents.
Do not regret past things. Our life goes on, not as we expect, but as it is destined. Many couples tolerate and live by inertia. In order to be close now, you had to separate from your first husband! You have the right not to seek financial help from your children - if they wish, they will offer it themselves. And as for the father of your third child, he is another man worthy only of contempt. Don't go back to your first husband, leave things as they are, because the moment of closeness and support has passed. Keep going and don't regret anything.
I think all three of you are crazy. Your second husband is a complete bastard, but you are also a cunning accountant. Don't encroach on other children's money, kind of make sure you don't get away with it. She is also his child, he must also reach out. That it is necessary, it is necessary, but in such a situation what you have is given, and equalization is your second concern. While arguing over who to pay, the child could remember. What can I say about your ex-husband, he's too good for this world. He is simply on another spiritual level, but such people often have a failed personal life because the former are willing to sacrifice themselves, while the latter see only how to win.
I would suggest, perhaps, a slightly non-typical solution, a way out of this situation. It is obvious that your second husband will not take any care of your son. On the other hand, you have rediscovered yourself with your first husband, you felt as if you were a family again, and the best thing is that he accepts your third child. Why not give yourself a second chance, it is obvious that you are mature and ready for a new beginning. Some couples need such adversity to realize that they really need each other and to spend their lives together. Also think about your youngest child, who has already survived enough for his fragile age, certainly needs a healthy family environment, which your second husband obviously can not provide. Try for yourself and for your three children, two of whom, although older, also need to see their parents happy. With a lot of patience and love, return your first husband and the trust of your children from your first marriage, so that you will not regret it later! :)) F, 22
of course you are right. is gati garbage is this. to get rid of it from your life
I don't know about your second husband, but your behavior is definitely not normal. You dump your husband, with whom you have lived for 15 years and with whom you have two children, and only a year later you catch up with someone you obviously don't know well, but you give birth to a child. You do not work, he supports himself, you, his child, and your other two children with one salary, at the same time you insist that their father's support is not encroached upon. You are an accountant. And the man understood it, and it came to him too much. You ruin the lives of your two children to make you feel good. It is obvious that your ex-husband is a responsible person, even the children understood him and went to live with him. Now he knew where the wind was blowing, and he turned again. Apparently you plan to go back to your ex-husband once he makes good money. However, while working in Bulgaria with a small salary, you were different in character. And you decide, instead of rejoicing that your child has recovered, to deprive him of his father. However, this is not so easy. And you will have to take responsibility for your actions for the first time, and admit to your little son that this father did not fall for him in the lottery, and you chose him as the most worthy of men, worthy of being a father. to your child. And it is strange that you agree for your parents to go to a nursing home, but for your children's money not to be touched. I think you need to think very seriously about your behavior, and stop acting impulsively. and to admit to your little son that this father did not fall out of the lottery, and that you have chosen him as the most worthy of men, worthy to be the father of your child. And it is strange that you agree for your parents to go to a nursing home, but for your children's money not to be touched. I think you need to think very seriously about your behavior, and stop acting impulsively. and to admit to your little son that this father did not fall for him from the lottery, and that you have chosen him as the most worthy of men, worthy to be the father of your child. And it is strange that you agree for your parents to go to a nursing home, but for your children's money not to be touched. I think you need to think very seriously about your behavior, and stop acting impulsively.
Great soap, but you're right. In the most difficult moment, the father of your child left you to take care of yourself. Somewhere he had the right to take the money from your first apartment, because it was a matter of life and death, it is primarily your money - and by law the family home is divided into 50 to 50 between husband and wife - this money is not due for children. That you made such a decision is your job, but it was your money and you had to use it for your child's surgery, of course. It's an honor for your first husband to help you, but that has nothing to do with your second husband. I would break up with the second man and live alone with the child. Raise your child. I know you're tempted to go back to the 1st man, but don't think you'll be happy with him. It's just time for a fresh start - don't go back. One always remembers only the good, but there were reasons to divorce anyway. Your child is small and needs stability - not to be dragged around the country, to be attached to your ex and then you know again that you will separate ... Let your parents help with the child, and you start work and be independent. The child should no longer have problems - it will be fine if the operation was successful, but it is important for you to get back on your feet. He sues the child's father for maintenance - even if it's a little, it's still money. If he dares to take tests in his fatherhood! To me, this man is complex and a very weak person. You don't need it in life and you and the child are better off without it. Your first husband, of course, has expectations, but don't go back to him - you'll be sorry. There is no need to return the money to him - YOUR money from the family home went to your children. Besides, it's human, that he helped you - he decided, he helped, you don't owe him anything, just leave your apartment in Sofia to your common children one day and you're done. P.P. I support 18 to somewhere. The maintenance of your children from the 1st marriage should have flowed into the family budget - that's the idea. They live in your family and the expenses for them are covered, such as electricity, water, housing, food with this money - it is not the idea to save or have pocket money or extras, but to live with them, but in the other I am not agree. Your second husband is a complete Plasmodium to leave his child at such a time. housing, food with this money - it is not the idea to save or to have pocket money or extras, but to live with them, but I do not agree with the rest. Your second husband is a complete Plasmodium to leave his child at such a time. housing, food with this money - it is not the idea to save or to have pocket money or extras, but to live with them, but I do not agree with the rest. Your second husband is a complete Plasmodium to leave his child at such a time.
Most commenters do not read. The money from the sale of the apartment is on deposit to each of the children, but the author's ex-husband paid alimony separately. So don't pay attention to why she didn't touch this money, she received child support regularly. There are almost always problems with partners and children from first and second marriages, the collision sooner or later escalates for various reasons. I once divorced at the age of 37 with two children aged 7 and 10, because of my husband's constant infidelities. I couldn't stand it anymore. It's a disease, and when we met and as boyfriends it wasn't like that or I didn't notice. After the divorce, thank God, I did not dare to look for another man and give birth to other children. However, the ex did not betray me and although a whore he took very good care of me and the children. He went to live with his mother, and he took his whores to hotels or to their villa. When I was happy, I turned away from him, but then I saw that he had a heart for me and my children after the divorce. To look for love divorced with two children and to enter into another relationship - no thanks. Every summer he took us with the children to the sea. We went as a family. He was with us on holidays. If necessary, he was with us. He didn't start another family, he didn't want to, just like I did. Well, what better way to look for other men to satisfy my needs. And I yell at him: instead of messing with other strangers and worrying, I know you, so if you don't mind, serve me sexually, along with the other whores, just make sure you don't infect me with something. He is otherwise a good lover. And so, five years after the divorce, he goes here and there - he fucks with that one, he's full. Invite me to get together, without getting married of course. He told me that he had stopped whoring and would not expose me. I supposedly believed him, but it turned out that he had changed a lot. Flowers brings me care, sex with him is great. I gave him a second chance. I ask him what broke it. Abe, he shouts, his wife and children are their own. Foreign women remain foreign, and you did not go after foreign men. We got together when I was 42. So for 10 years. We are waiting for grandchildren life and health. Well that's it. I just share without giving a prescription. For normal people, the family remains the same, even after divorce. and you did not go after foreign men. We got together when I was 42. So for 10 years. We are waiting for grandchildren life and health. Well that's it. I just share without giving a prescription. For normal people, the family remains the same, even after divorce. and you did not go after foreign men. We got together when I was 42. So for 10 years. We are waiting for grandchildren life and health. Well that's it. I just share without giving a prescription. For normal people, the family remains the same, even after divorce.
Author, I don't know about your second husband, but you are a terrible accountant! You always expect someone else to pay your bills! Your child is seriously ill, but you are trembling at the money of the other two children, who "did not owe" anything! Mother's behavior inexplicable to me! And what do you study and how do you raise your children? Instead of uniting and helping each other in difficult moments, everyone should look only at their own interest! Their brother may die, but they should not "encroach on their deposits" !!! No wonder your second husband left after seeing your shocking attitude toward your child. And you immediately clung to your first husband when you saw that he had earned money from working abroad, right! Think about your behavior!
I don't think your first husband's behavior is normal either. At the time of the divorce, the children were small. And instead of leaving you with them in the family, he forces you to sell it. And if your parents didn't have a house, where would you go? On the street? He's just blackmailing you in this difficult time for you. It is also difficult for children, who not only have to go through the divorce of their parents, but also to change their home and the neighborhood where their friends are. Your parents had to leave their home and live in the villa. He is not an exemplary father.
Until 22. Her second husband did not move a finger for his own child, and another had to provide him with the money. Good job! Cash is the easiest to spend and not his. She is a mother and should think alike about her children. You are not in her place to draw such conclusions. Her second husband is rubbish. To 23. Terrible logic. And what did the first man blackmail her with? From the sale of the apartment the money was divided between the two children and the first husband did not touch anything. He paid his alimony separately. And why they decided that is their job. You weren't on their meat to know better.
How expensive is often "love".
Up to 24. The only positive character in the story here is the author's second husband, not rubbish, as you call him! Only a very noble man would take on this great responsibility of taking a woman with two children. The author does not work, but she keeps the support she receives for her children for their personal use. Otherwise they got angry, and the children didn't like it, you see! And all the responsibility for paying the bills - electricity, water, heating, telephones, internet and cable TV, taxes, medicines, school supplies and clothes, food and household items of all kinds - has fallen on the poor second husband, and for years ok! The first husband deprived them of a home, made her sell the apartment without realizing that the author had no one else, and the children were left homeless, indeed! Deposits are not a home to shelter! not to mention that when children come of age, they may spend them unwisely, and there will be nothing left of them. And the second husband has given care, security and peace! He paid relentlessly like a priest, and accordingly worked like an ox for this family! How many of us would bear that burden! And what does the author do? As soon as it gets hot, instead of sitting down and thinking about what to do, he raises a scandal and chases him! However, only cash is important for the author! Has she provided a single lev? Of course not! She is waiting for either her first husband or her parents! She is ready to send them to a nursing home, alone and alone, not to touch the deposit! Hero is the second husband, hero! How many of us would bear that burden! And what does the author do? As soon as it gets hot, instead of sitting down and thinking about what to do, he raises a scandal and chases him! However, only cash is important for the author! Has she provided a single lev? Of course not! She is waiting for either her first husband or her parents! She is ready to send them to a nursing home, alone and alone, not to touch the deposit! Hero is the second husband, hero! How many of us would bear that burden! And what does the author do? As soon as it gets hot, instead of sitting down and thinking about what to do, he raises a scandal and chases him! However, only cash is important for the author! Has she provided a single lev? Of course not! She is waiting for either her first husband or her parents! She is ready to send them to a nursing home, alone and alone, not to touch the deposit! Hero is the second husband, hero!
Until 26. Abe, stop thinking about reading the text. Nowhere does the author write that she did not work, but left her job after her child fell ill. Nowhere did the author say that she kept the maintenance money only for her children and did not pay for the consumables. On the contrary, she writes that her second husband is a little tight-lipped. And most importantly, this same bastard lived with her and the children in the home of her parents, who went to the village. Don't fantasize or remake the story. What you wrote doesn't make sense because it's just not true. Here are excerpts from the text, which you can't read: "Regarding the family home, my husband offered to sell it and deposit the money in euros in the name of each of the children until they reach the age of majority. He went to a dormitory and we moved into my parents' apartment, who moved to live in the villa. The husband has always paid alimony on a regular basis. He maintained a warm relationship with the children and I never limited them ... After the divorce I did not allow a man next to me for a long time, but in the end I got scared. My so-called second husband is three years younger than me, a bachelor until he met me. I loved him because he was calm and balanced, or so it seemed to me. He was very delicate with my children. He showed a certain tightness, but I didn't pay much attention to that. He moved in with me and my children ... I gave birth to the child, but he had health problems. I went to doctors all the time, quit my job, worked in a private company and there was no one to tolerate my absences. We were left only on the salary of my second husband and that made him nervous, scandals started, it also affected the maintenance of my children from the first marriage "...