When I was little I had an accident and I have been childless ever since. I went to many doctors in Bulgaria and abroad, but their answer was that there was no way to help me. I came to terms with this and little by little I started to come back to life but something was not going well. People started to stay away from me, to isolate me, my friends told me that they didn't want to move with me anymore and I was generally left alone. I'm already 26 and I still don't have a girlfriend, I won't have one, I guess, because I've tried to get closer to girls several times, but they refused and called me anything. I have been damaged, defective, I have not been a real man and I do not bring them this pleasure that others give them. It is very difficult for me to be pointed out as an unnecessary disabled person, I am completely normal except that I cannot have children. I have been working in a car repair shop for several years now and the boys from there almost treat me like a slave just because I am in this situation. A child was born to one of them, and he came to me on purpose to show it to me, saying, "Look at how men act," and laughed mockingly. I didn't want it to happen that way, I deserved everyone to be against me.
Answers 14
First of all, I'm interested in how everyone understands, if you don't tell them? Can you have sex or is it removed from you ....? I wonder how people know about your problem if it is not visible? If you have such a problem and he can't see why you tell everyone to feel sorry for you / make fun of him in this case / This is said to the closest ones, not to everyone in the neighborhood. I am a woman and I would never leave someone just because there can be no children. Sex and children are different things. It is unlikely that the girls who like you from the moment they see you want to sleep with you and definitely have a bag of children and understand that they will not run away. Come on, please, show them that you are a man.
there is no justice in this world, there is no :(
I don't think the problem is that you can't have children. Maybe you feel it as such a big problem and get more complicated by it. Remember that one day you can adopt or care for children without you creating them. They can still be your children. For many years I thought that I was being discriminated against precisely because I have a child and I do not have a husband.
For me, what you call a problem is not really a problem. Children can always be adopted or your future wife can be artificially inseminated. And the question of number 2 is completely relevant - how does everyone know that you can't have children? !! You go to "brag" everywhere, you wave "that job", you look for sympathy, attention? !! I don't understand, really! Only the woman who would like to have children from you, as well as your parents, should know this. Until there! Besides, as long as you perceive this as an incredible problem, everyone around you will perceive it that way.
Look, your problem has nothing to do with people's attitudes! First: don't tell anyone about your problem because it's too personal and it's nobody's business to know. Second: do not allow such an attitude towards yourself. What kind of girls do you deal with? Such statements are NOT typical of normal people. The other time, he turned his attention to a more normal girl, not a muffin. Third: having children and the pleasure of sex are different things! Have sex and don't worry! Fourth: Many people who have been told they will not have children end up having. The body is able to heal itself. When you believe that you will be healed, the brain sends signals to the affected area and regeneration processes begin there. Scientifically proven! Do not lose hope!
Show off more with your defect, then grumble. No, really - come on. Maybe your begging for pity and sympathy will one day pay off, but it's unlikely. Why do so many people know about this, just share? How do you meet people? "Hello, I'm Suljo, I'm impotent, I'm happy"? This is not told to ANYONE. You can tell your parents, possibly relatives, and the woman you might spend your life with. But when I look at you, you look for your wives from chalgoteki, your acquaintances are a bit of a freak. It is clear that you are blown away and complex, it is evident from the way you talk about it and the number of people who know about the problem. I ask again - with what mind do you tell them? It's your own fault, you obviously can't think for 5 minutes in the future. Stop telling everyone you meet that you can't make small cakes (big pig, wow), don't blow yourself up all the time and look for new acquaintances or girls (not from car repair shops and bars). It is so clear and simple, your begging for attention and your desire to feel sympathy for you will not attract people much.
Do not draw wrong conclusions, I did not go to tell everyone I encountered my problem, on the contrary, I never shared. But the thing is that when everything happened I was 10 years old and my parents told the class that came to see me in the hospital. And from there it is clear she told this one, he said the other, and so on. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me I'm not here to seek attention I just want to be treated as a person.
I don't think what's happening to you has anything to do with your potency. Rather, you have become more complex and have acquired a nasty character, and that is why people cannot tolerate you. Think.
I read your story and I understand that this attitude of others makes you feel uncomfortable. However, there is something wrong with my story - unless you live in a very small town, not to mention a village, I do not see how all people will know about the incident that happened to you more than 15 years ago. Isn't this some unique news that everyone remembers and still discusses? Are you sure that the attitude of others towards you is not a result of your behavior? I can't accept that your friends will just leave you, they should even help you overcome the difficulties. Try to change your environment, look for another job, even if you have to change the city, obviously the way you live at the moment depresses you even more. Share the fact that you can't have children only with very close people, not just acquaintances.
Now I will tell you a secret. People on the other side see in you what you think of yourself, ie they see you as you see yourself. If you forget about your problem and build self-confidence because of your other qualities, people will see your other qualities and like you - in order to like you, you must first like yourself. You're just staring too hard at your problem - thinking about other things.
I don't agree with you number 12. Even if this is a super big problem for the author - how can someone make fun of you for such a thing? About the author - change the environment and when you find a girlfriend do not tell her that you can not have children - in the end you will not marry her or have children, but you will spend some time together until you find the right person for you . And why isn't this man a divorced woman with children? Or a woman who doesn't mind adopting a child? Look on the positive side, don't look on the bad side. You have so many opportunities in front of you, and you are depressed. Don't do that. There are passengers for each train - a very true saying! Just follow your path, author.
Why do you tell them what you can and can't do? People are like that, you share their soul, and they use it against you ... number 13 gave you a great idea, there are an awful lot of women with children, but divorced, get one and your problem is solved. Don't share your problem with anyone while you can have sex, no problem.
And what if you don't have children, life is super short for nonsense, be and do what you want, most people don't have any knowledge even about themselves, and I won't have children, I don't want to. If you don't love and appreciate yourself, there is no one to do it, but if you whine enough, you may come to your senses.
People don't shy away from you because of that. People shy away from you because of your attitude and attitude towards themselves. They are harassing you because you are harassing them mentally. The problem with women is on the same basis, but there you already act as a disabled person, even though you are not, so how can they like it? People have rightly told you you think too much about your problem. Realize that the people around you don't think about your problem at all, they have enough of their problems, surely 70% of the people they knew have forgotten that you have a problem.