Hello. I am a 27 year old man and I also have my own unpleasant story like all of you. I've been in a relationship with a girl for 3 years ... it's a relationship, but what a relationship only ... Now I'll tell you. My girl is from another city, 450 km. from mine. I work and she is a student, so you know how much we are together. Even the 3 summers of our 3 year relationship are not together. The first summer I was on a business trip abroad, and she was in Bulgaria, and the second 2 summers she went on a brigade to the USA. In general we see each other on Saturdays and Sundays and in the summer we do not see each other. :( But despite everything so far we have supported and held for each other, we dreamed together about our future, we loved each other a lot. Our sex has always been a "madhouse" of feelings and sensations, awesome great. We fought naturally , but all the quarrels stemmed from the fact that we miss each other a lot and we are separated. 2 months ago we were arguing because she kept telling me that she was dating boys, and how much they liked her and took her down, and I baked ... hellish jealousy came up and I just asked her not to go out with these men alone, I didn't blame her, I just wanted to keep her from getting into risky situations. And so it started and we quarreled. We didn't write to each other for half a month, I was angry that I was angry about such a thing, I just wanted not to lose it. And she just kept saying, "You're ruining my summer, with your jealousy, I want to have fun." I would do anything for her if she was annoyed that I only see women - I stop. In fact, for the last 3 years, the real happiness for me has been to make her happy. And a week ago, at a wonderful moment, I found out that he was having sex with his colleague in the United States. We talked about it, we didn't fight, we're reasonable people, and she comes up with explanations. " you didn't write to me and didn't call me for 15 days and I thought you didn't want me anymore and you dumped me and that's why you slept with your colleague. She was very sorry, she didn't know if she wanted to be with me because she was no longer as crazy about me as in the beginning, but somehow she felt calm but strong love. She had lost hope for us. She had been terribly smart there all summer, and stuff like that. She claims that her colleague is just a friend nothing more, she was not in love with him, she wanted me, she loved me. But I doubt she continues to sleep with him even though she wants me to forgive her and be with me. She told me that he was very much in love with her ... but I think that in order to fall in love with a girl you need a little more than sleeping with her twice, there were feelings, no matter how much he claims to be just a friend and colleague. I want to forgive her !!! I love her! Although our whole "relationship" or "phone love" is strange and impossible. But if he continues to sleep with him and writes to me "I want you, I love you, forgive me", I don't know how to act, it's very confusing. I don't know if this is a reason to break up now and not suffer anymore ... I don't know ... I know that what I wrote to you is confusing for you, but I hope you understand me at least a little. Thanks.
Answers 8
There may be more affection and love left than love, but that's normal. If she's been there for a long time, it's no wonder she's found a man for sex. If you forgive her and she really stops doing it, but really never - ok. Otherwise, what will be this connection ?? Maybe you should think if he asks you to do such a thing, whether he loves you at all and whether it is worth investing so much in your relationship. Because this "you didn't write to me and didn't call me for 15 days and I thought you didn't want me anymore and you dumped me for that too" sounds like a STUPID EXCUSE to me! If she really loves you, and if you don't call her for a month, she won't stray from the right path, but will think you have a reason. So if he doesn't promise not to cheat on you anymore, you better find another one!
Bad story bro ... to be subjected to all this means you really love her very much .... personally if I cheat on my girlfriend I beat and joke and that's it. My advice is good to assess your chances for the future with this chick and to act ... because that's how you just bother. You wrote "colleague and was very much in love with her", if you do not give him reasons for such feelings how he will fall in love .... it is very likely that you are right (they have more sex) best either forget her or go to her city and a nice conversation with her will show how much she loves you, how much she wants you, etc. so nothing will become clear to you over the phone and chat. Very successful and smart !!!
The same history in reverse. I drove like that with a man for about a year, finally I found a seasonal job in his city and moved, but it turned out that he slept with a colleague. Well, what can I tell you, it's just not the same anymore, no matter how much he explains to me that he loves me very much, I've got a cold. I don't think it makes sense in your case either. Are you sure that if you get together after a while, everything will be pink after what happened? There is always a wound. What is broken does not stick.
The idea is that she's in the United States now, and she does these things there, and she keeps telling me that she loves me and wants to be with me when she gets home. He has been there for 5 months and will be returning now. Is 5 months without sex a lot for a woman? And 2 more previous summers of 5 months without sex. It happened to me that what happened came together, the quarrels with me, the loneliness there, the boredom and love, the fact that we see each other super rarely ... and all the problems that arise from the long time you are not with your loved one. I try to understand her and I succeed to some extent, but when I compare her with myself I can't justify her actions. And they aren't just sleeping with my colleague and that's it ... it's been methodical for 2 weeks now. And that's why I suffer and feel dumb that I want to forgive something that seems unforgivable. I just love her.
Dude ... this thing is clear .. you want to forgive something that breaks your heart because you love it but even if you say "Ok I forgive you" nothing will be the same as before ... first you will feel humiliated ... secondly you don't see each other often and you will always have the mania that she fucks someone else ... again I tell you wait for her to come home it doesn't matter who from which city started the car and have a nice conversation with her ... it will it became clear whether this was a mistake (although when a woman loves strongly she can endure without sex more than any man) ... with this conversation you will realize what is happening. If you ask me, pull a fuck and that's it, don't bother at all anymore ... you took care of her and she didn't talk to you for 2 weeks and she immediately went to bed with someone else and that's her love ??? she thought you were already broken and she fucked her colleague with grief ??? lol dude you know nothing about women they are the most insidious creatures on this earth ... there can always be excuses ... the thing is that she's just trying to shift the blame for her mistakes on you ... and from the sides it's hellish funny. I tell you again, I wish you luck and I hope you choose the right choice !!!
The idea is that love is in a person's mind and nothing can displace it if it is real. Penelope has been waiting for Odysseus for 20 years. It is true that now life is in full swing, but true love sets the limit that is not crossed by strong feelings. Once she's replaced you for the excuse "Lack of sex," she'll do it again. Cuello said in The Alchemist that one thing can happen once and never happen again, but if it happens a second time, it will certainly triple. In this case, you need time for your mind to turn on and sober you up.
Number 8 ... eh this book ... and I kept saying the same thing until 3-4 days ago that one thing can happen once and never happen again, but if it happens a second time, it will definitely triple. I try to calm down, I succeed to some extent, but the fact is. He is sober in my mind, but my heart is not of the same opinion ... you know how it is. I decided not to think ... hahaha I will just let things happen from here to fuck whatever.
I think that 15 days not to call is a serious interval. My boyfriend didn't call for a week and I had already decided that for one reason or another he didn't want me. Why do you allow such gaps? Well, they are always filled with something. The distance between you is also not a plus for the relationship, and sex is certainly not who knows how often. If you stick to it, get together, not on the phone, but talk in public. Offer her an option - to move in with her, for her to come to you, even marriage, if you will. See how he reacts. In itself, I can say that such a story with long distances and unspoken things and feelings that sex from the rain and wind would make me very tired.