Hello! I have been reading the site for a long time and I decided to publish here as well. I am an 18-year-old girl, I go with a 30-year-old boy .. I know you will say that he uses me, etc., but the truth is that we have been together for 2 years and 3 months :) I have been very thoughtful for a month now. he never forbade me, stopped from something, etc., but if we live together or get married (I don't think the signature changes anything) when I finish 12th grade and then I learn if I will experience all the moments ... He he didn't forbid me to study, and we agreed on a baby when I decided I was ready (of course he was too). We have talked many times and he told me that he will not stop me from anything, that I can study, go to discos, etc. (of course, with him ...) now I also go out with friends, but constantly we call each other and somehow I don't feel good without him. But somehow ... I keep thinking these things ... He is an intelligent man and I don't think I will have any problems with him (for example, going somewhere, etc.). I say I think because I haven't had one so far, but that's exactly what I'm afraid of saying something else afterwards (not that I don't trust him, but I'm just such a person .. I look at the negative side first) We also have an option after I end up going abroad .. we are from a small town and we have no job .. all the people here have no money and can barely make ends meet .... I don't know the language, but he knows English, German, Russian .. do you think that is a good idea :) Please give me advice .. Thanks!
Answers 5
He is not a boy at the age of 30! ;)
God, when I read your comment and another one somewhere below about a fortune teller, I start to think that nowadays naivety is taught in schools and you are obviously excellent. The signature in the ritual hall changes everything, and as for what your good uncle will allow you, it is clear that he will allow you to come home in the evening at 8 pm at the latest, to cook in the kitchen and walk, and even on birthdays will allow you to go out for an hour with your two best friends and all this only because after signing you will realize that he is very old for you, and you are young and liked by your peers who are yet to progress in life.
I don't think you should look at what will happen in 5 years when you eventually graduate. If you're okay with him now, stay with him. If over time it starts to limit you and you no longer enjoy it, you break up. But to break up with someone with the thought that if, someday, maybe, he would do something unreasonable. No one knows him, no one is a fortune teller, so no one can tell you if he would start restricting you or not. Wait with the children and live together. Don't rush as soon as you're done living with him. When you feel ready to live with him and if you feel ready, then do it. The same goes for the child. After all, if he doesn't like him waiting for you, he can tell you to break up. But there is no point in forcing yourself to do things you are not ready for. If it fits perfectly, if not it obviously wouldn't have happened anyway. Ana
When I was 18, I left with a boy. He was 25 and had already lived there for two years. I went because we loved each other and wanted to have a good future in a modern European country. Even if you don't know the language, you can always enroll in a course right there. This way you will learn it quickly and you will be able to work or study. When I went to the boy in question I felt very well and everything was fine, but after a few months I realized how much I miss things like my family and friends and how I will never have the chance to experience some things if I am with him. After a few more months, my thoughts turned into depression and an idea that ruined our relationship and I returned to Bulgaria. Now I am very happy that I was there, but also that I came back. Leave to have a chance for a better life. Even if things don't work out, you will come back with a good life lesson.
Thanks! I will be happy for more opinions!