Hello, please read my story and share what you think. I had a friend for 6 months. Everything was fine the first month until she started talking to my ex. She was what you are. Even when we were traveling on vacation he said to me "She cheated on me, and I didn't understand why ..." she started to wonder and that irritated me, but I didn't say anything. Still, he experienced something. I asked him if you felt anything else for her, he told me no. Then he showed me pictures in google photos, he wanted to show me his old car, and I saw pictures of a girl, I asked who she was. It turned out to be his ex. I asked him why you keep photos of her, he told me that he just forgot to remove them and that he would do it. This hurt me a lot because there were a hell of a lot of pictures, and mine weren't on the phone. And he told me he loved me. One night we had an argument. And I told him I just wanted to get rid of them. why keep them? When I deleted them there were 1200! 1,200 people to his ex! And there was no one of mine. This passed, but while we were at work (we work together) In the closet on his mother's desk I found her engagement ring from 5 years ago .. it was still there. He told me that he allegedly gave it to his mother to remove it, but he was there .. I felt terrible .. Recently he stopped asking for intimate contact .. and he told me that even with her in a cycle when she was he was they did .. I feel terrible .. He stopped talking about her, but I feel like a substitute for her. Because before every second of his words it was her ... I love him, but I can't stop thinking about these things, they don't come out of my head and bother me. He didn't want to touch me, he was looking at naked women ... he always likes pictures of girls on Facebook. All naked .. I feel terrible. Love it, supposedly trying and at the same time repulses me if I want intimacy .. When we met I was a virgin, he is my first. At first we didn't have sex because he had contracted another girl. We met him in 2018 on Facebook. We wrote to each other every day and suddenly he stopped. Then March 2019 called me again. I wondered what had happened. And he had found another with whom he had unprotected sex and contracted a sexually transmitted disease. I was with him through all the doctors and I supported him while he was healing ... and he makes me feel superfluous and unwanted. If I tell him it starts with no, it's not. All this about his former and fairytale photos rings makes me feel like a second option .. please tell me how would you do? I feel on edge! At first we didn't have sex because he had contracted another girl. We met him in 2018 on Facebook. We wrote to each other every day and suddenly he stopped. Then March 2019 called me again. I wondered what had happened. And he had found another with whom he had unprotected sex and contracted a sexually transmitted disease. I was with him through all the doctors and I supported him while he was healing ... and he makes me feel superfluous and unwanted. If I tell him it starts with no, it's not. All this about his former and fairytale photos rings makes me feel like a second option .. please tell me how would you do? I feel on edge! At first we didn't have sex because he had contracted another girl. We met him in 2018 on Facebook. We wrote to each other every day and suddenly he stopped. Then March 2019 called me again. I wondered what had happened. And he had found another with whom he had unprotected sex and contracted a sexually transmitted disease. I was with him through all the doctors and I supported him while he was healing ... and he makes me feel superfluous and unwanted. If I tell him it starts with no, it's not. All this about his former and fairytale photos rings makes me feel like a second option .. please tell me how would you do? I feel on edge! And he had found another with whom he had unprotected sex and contracted a sexually transmitted disease. I was with him through all the doctors and I supported him while he was healing ... and he makes me feel superfluous and unwanted. If I tell him it starts with no, it's not. All this about his former and fairytale photos rings makes me feel like a second option .. please tell me how would you do? I feel on edge! And he had found another with whom he had unprotected sex and contracted a sexually transmitted disease. I was with him through all the doctors and I supported him while he was healing ... and he makes me feel superfluous and unwanted. If I tell him it starts with no, it's not. All this about his former and fairytale photos rings makes me feel like a second option .. please tell me how would you do? I feel on edge!
Answers 8
It's your own fault you got caught with one.
Your friend is a full cane. The previous one obviously hurt him a lot (it's very bad to cheat on you) and he hasn't experienced it yet - injured ego, deceived feelings and trust, etc. No matter how much time passes, he will always feel uncomfortable when he thinks of it. This is normal. But it is not normal to regularly sing to your current girlfriend what she was like, to keep photos, to discuss her and so on. It is offensive to you and your feelings are quite adequate. And that's not all - you refuse intimate contact in the sixth month, and watch naked babes on the Internet? This one, in addition to not pitying his ex, is also a desperate checker. You will only get angry with him and in time it will not get better once it is settled. It will erode your self-confidence and ruin your nerves. To sit alone, sighing at the old boyfriend and to keep his hand in his pants when he is such a mouse and does not want to be honest with you.
In my opinion, to love and suffer and continue to be with an obvious garbage is a psychodiagnosis for the woman herself - garbage, do not take offense. Everyone chooses their own unhappiness, you can't be in love and unhappy, it's not love, people, you are seriously ill with some mental disorder that is incurable ....
When you saw that he was still thinking about his ex and was not ready for a relationship - why didn't he leave? !! How do you make him delete pictures like that, they don't affect you, it's part of his past. You pushed him hard and shook him nicely. It doesn't happen that way. You see he doesn't want you, leave without circuses.
He still loves her, this is the truth, there is no other. He still has a thrill. Send him to her to look at each other. How do you tolerate such humiliation? That he may not pity her for at least another 2 years, but he will turn your life into hell in the meantime. Such only in the former.
"Please tell me what you would do?" - Get rid of him, it's not for a modest girl, some whore will see his bills.
The solution is one - you make it your ex and that's it. You send him to his ex in the past, but without making the mistake of saving his photos, looking for him in a moment of weakness, blocking him everywhere, change your job so you don't see him, delete him from your life forever and continue forward. The other is masochism, not love. Love and respect yourself more than the one who is hurting you. That's what I would do. Every woman has a first one, but more important is the last one, which makes you forget everyone before him.
I absolutely agree with number 2. You don't need such a "man" at all. It doesn't make you happy, it doesn't satisfy you sexually, it tramples your self-esteem thinly. Run away.