Hello. In general, I'm not a fan of these sites, but lately I've read a lot here and decided to try to share what bothers me, and maybe get some advice. And since I love to write, I apologize if it takes too long. :) I'll start with the fact that I'm 21 and I haven't had a friend so far. At first I thought it was just not my time, but lately I have been tormented by gloomy thoughts that there is obviously a problem in me. I think (this is the first thing that comes to our minds, girls) that maybe it's because I'm not one of the skinny babes (I'm 1.68 / 60kg), but I like myself so tight (I play sports ) and well put together. So let's just say it's not that I don't look exactly like a model? .. Then, where is the problem I wonder? Maybe the problem is that I'm not a typical girl, which you can meet on the streets with makeup, hairstyle and careless demeanor? I'm not modest, on the contrary, I'm a very emotional and tumultuous person (even too sometimes), at times I'm weird (understand that I'm one of those people who are not guided by stereotypes, I even deny the "mass", I love individualism).
I'm a versatile person, I have a hell of a lot of interests (maybe that's the problem: that I like to read books and a lot! ... that I listen mainly to rock and classical music (and at least 10 other styles of music like rap, country, jazz, pop .. only pop-folk couldn't grab me: D) .... mainly, everything unusual is interesting for me .. for example I've always dreamed of getting on an Impala, playing Led Zeppelin and sending somewhere the road ... of course, that doesn't mean I don't like the things that today's generation likes ... just the differences are more). Now don't think of me as a housewife, on the contrary, I'm super sociable and social (for me one of the main joys in this life is communicating with people), I have a hell of a lot of friends (even most of them boys). Another characteristic of me is that I am very independent and always have an opinion. I respect myself, but I don't have much self-confidence.
So far, I'm used to taking care of myself and my kind of like my independence (somewhat!). Maybe the problem is that I belong to the column of smart girls (I still don't know whether to believe the many stories about how this type of girl was less liked) ..? To say that I have big claims on the boys, yes but no. Well, I admit that there are some types of guys that I don't think are for me (for example, I don't like guys who pretend to be assholes, who flaunt materialism or bodybuilding ... that doesn't mean I would reject such a boy from the first time ...
I believe in giving everyone a chance :)). But I just haven't had a chance to know what I like and what I don't. I don't know why ... it's not like they haven't looked at me, but they've never talked to me or taken down a boy ... Am I scared of them ... or do I look like too much of a challenge for them, just because I'm not a "hollow watering can" .... do I know? I just want to know, what's the problem with me that no one comes to me? I'm not bad on the outside; although I consider myself ordinary, a lot of people have told me I'm beautiful. By nature, too, I'm even too good-natured, it's just really a little difficult to reach me because of my independence (but if a person manages to win me over, I give myself completely). Please don't think that everything I say is some kind of self-promotion or something like that, I just described myself as I am (or at least a small part of me) and I want to know what I look like in the eyes of the boys and if there is a problem that I can't have a relationship. My story has become quite detailed and confused (very confused: D ... in general I am a very cheerful and cheerful person - something that will not be evident from this story because at the moment I am writing with a gloomy mind and total chaos in my thoughts). If anyone has managed to read all this and is ready to share their opinion, and even give advice, thank you in advance! :))) I just described myself as I am (or at least a small part of me) and I want to know what I look like in the eyes of the boys and if there is a problem that I can't have a relationship.
My story has become quite detailed and confused (very confused: D ... in general I am a very cheerful and cheerful person - something that will not be evident from this story, because at the moment I am writing with a gloomy mind and total chaos in my thoughts). If anyone has managed to read all this and is ready to share their opinion, and even give advice, thank you in advance! :))) I just described myself as I am (or at least a small part of me) and I want to know what I look like in the eyes of the boys and if there is a problem that I can't have a relationship. My story has become quite detailed and confused (very confused: D ... in general I am a very cheerful and cheerful person - something that will not be evident from this story, because at the moment I am writing with a gloomy mind and total chaos in my thoughts).
If anyone has managed to read all this and is ready to share their opinion, and even give advice, thank you in advance! :))) because at the moment I am writing with a gloomy consciousness and total chaos in my thoughts). If anyone has managed to read all this and is ready to share their opinion, and even give advice, thank you in advance! :))) because at the moment I am writing with a gloomy consciousness and total chaos in my thoughts). If anyone has managed to read all this and is ready to share their opinion, and even give advice, thank you in advance! :)))
Answers 7
I don't see a problem. A young, intelligent girl. Keep self-respecting, everything with your time.
Where are you from?
Your problem is the excessive independence you demonstrate. I had such a friend, she could do it alone, she still didn't need help, she was always over things and showed how she could do without others, while at the same time secretly hoping that someone would pay attention to her and court her as a woman. Except that the men were afraid of her overly independent behavior and ran away. Eventually, she went so far as to chase and court them, and she almost became the man in the relationship to finally have a boyfriend. But it didn't work out anyway. I will advise you not to send double signals - on the one hand you want to have a friend, the boys talk to you and get attention, and on the other hand you demonstrate with your independence how you can do it yourself, how you don't need anyone, etc. There is no way to get things this way. People see you and say to themselves - well, she can, and who knows how much effort I have to put in to have something to do with her and they turn to girls who SHOW that they are looking for love and attention and need a man next to them. Nobody says not to be independent, everyone should be, but not to constantly point it out and think that someone will be impressed. People say to themselves - this man is not needed by us and they stop paying attention to him when you show that you appreciate them and you like being in their company is completely different. I don't know, I think that from what I have written (I may be wrong) you are a bit like a man and this is the main problem. Since you have so many boy friends and no one has taken a step closer, they seem to perceive themselves as "part of them", that is, like another boy from the company. I don't know, I think that's the problem. I'm not saying to become a muffin, but to develop your feminine qualities more, because you are still a woman, not a man. I may be wrong about everything, I don't know you after all, but from everything written this is how things look to me.
You are still very young. Where are you in such a hurry. In time, you'll wonder where you're cooking for your husband, throwing pots and washing baby's buttocks.
Номер 4 има право. Обаче, според мен, някои жени правят голяма грешка като са постоянно пасивни и просто чакат някакво чудо да се случи. Мога да ти кажа мъжката перспектива. Много често заглеждам жени, може и да подмятам комплимент или нещо подобно, но рядко се занимавам наистина сериозно с някое момиче. Много момичета ги подминавам, защото мисля и виждам, че нямат интерес към мен или няма да се получи по някоя причина, като това, че нямаме много общи контакти, не сме от една компания и така нататък. Много момчета са така. Ако си харесала някое момче и просто го чакаш да направи нещо, без да показваш нищо, той едва ли ще прояви сериозен интерес. Така по-скоро ще се натъкнеш на някой нагляр, който пише на 5-6 момичета във фейсбук, с надеждата някоя да му пусне и ти ще бъдеш една от кандидатките му. Съветът ми е да не чакаш просто някой да дойде при теб ей така от само себе си, без нищо да проявяваш. Заговори го, покажи някакъв интерес, не е нужно да правиш първата крачка, ако ти е неудобно, но му прати някакви сигнали. М20
From the author: First, thank you for the comments. :) You definitely gave me food for thought. I don't flaunt my independence, it's just a part of me. I have never looked like a "tough girl", on the contrary, even on the outside I look very tender. : D It's just that my way of thinking is different. I can't stretch or whine, or drool and fall silent. It doesn't come from inside me, and I don't think it compliments women in general. It seems rather funny to me. And what does it mean to show that I am looking for love? It's not like I can't flirt. I don't think you got me right when I said I was independent. That doesn't mean I'm pretending to be the Ice Queen. : D: D And about the fact that I'm passive. Hmmm, I'm of the opinion (although the time we live in) that it's the man who has to take the first step (I forgot to mention that I'm a little romantic). I give you an example, our eyes catch each other, we start exchanging smiles and the like ... so what is sitting and waiting for me to go and take it off? It's not like I've looked away or shown in any way that "there's no chance with me." I find no point in a woman taking on the role of a man. All she has to do is signal to the man that she wants to be courted, etc ... or I have a totally wrong idea. :) To Number 3: I am currently a student in Sofia. :) Anyway. Life is ahead of me, I was just wondering if the boys don't see something wrong in me and that's why things don't work out. :) is what is sitting and waiting for me to go and take it off? It's not like I've looked away or shown in any way that "there's no chance with me." I find no point in a woman taking on the role of a man. All she has to do is signal to the man that she wants to be courted, etc ... or I have a totally wrong idea. :) To Number 3: I am currently a student in Sofia. :) Anyway. Life is ahead of me, I was just wondering if the boys don't see something wrong in me and that's why things don't work out. :) is what is sitting and waiting for me to go and take it off? It's not like I've looked away or shown in any way that "there's no chance with me." I find no point in a woman taking on the role of a man. All she has to do is signal to the man that she wants to be courted, etc ... or I have a totally wrong idea. :) To Number 3: I am currently a student in Sofia. :) Anyway. Life is ahead of me, I was just wondering if the boys don't see something wrong in me and that's why things don't work out. :) I am currently a student in Sofia. :) Anyway. Life is ahead of me, I was just wondering if the boys don't see something wrong in me and that's why things don't work out. :) I am currently a student in Sofia. :) Anyway. Life is ahead of me, I was just wondering if the boys don't see something wrong in me and that's why things don't work out. :)
From number 6. In my opinion, you do not have any problem and you do not have a totally wrong idea. Just keep in mind that there is a subtle difference. Some women get along well with one man and all in general, just out of upbringing, not because they flirt. Others, with a similar attitude, flirt. Personally, I often take risks and fall into this trap, but some other guys are much more cautious.