Hello, I want to ask if there are others like me with a physical problem during sex. In other words - either I stand like a tree that does not move (you understand that it is not pleasant for my husband) or I fight a pain everywhere, fatigue, and for the observance of some rhythm there is no word at all. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but even the slightest movement is a great struggle with the body, sex is in the background, pleasure is like a mirage in the desert, and self-esteem meters down. So that someone sounds familiar and has a solution? If it matters, I'm 27, married.
Answers 7
The main reason - you have no attitude (feelings) to the person you live with. Your body does not relax, and that is why you are stiff. Unfortunately, no one can help you, you are married without love. You juggle with your mind, but you can't with your body, it betrays everything, you can't pretend in bed!
Thanks for the honest comment, but I would love to hear another opinion. Somehow I can't accept that it will be due to lack of love, because if it weren't for her, there would be no reason for us to be together. I don't want to explain myself, but there are facts, as if he is my 4th marriage proposal. It doesn't make sense not to be surrounded by male attention and not to make hasty decisions, nor is there anything material that can give me. It also happened that we parted because of all the differences between us, but I kept coming back, no matter that I had a choice for others and that I made this compromise only for him and no one else. I don't argue or anything like that, but I want to hear other theories
I support the previous comment. I always have a great desire for sex. I am a woman. Sometimes I get bored too, but if I want real sex I become "like it's not me". Otherwise, everything is trained. For the 10th time, I'm sure you'll do very well. Just a wish to have!
And before him, were you with another, and if you were, was it the same? I think it's all an attitude, you don't relax and I've been like that for years. Experiment change the place and the atmosphere pay more attention to the game before sex. And a little alcohol before you start will help you relax, I'm not saying to drink, but to drink a little for courage, a glass of wine, for example. Success!
I do not completely agree with 1. Not every sex is about love and vice versa. But I agree with that with the attitude. In my opinion, your mistake is that you constantly look at things from the negative side - it hurts, you are a tree, etc., and you do not relax - so I do not know what pleasure you expect to experience. You have to give yourself completely to the moment. If it's easier with the rhythm - play nice music, and if you don't feel like you're on top, it's your thing - just don't do it. Your husband is obliged to respect this decision of yours ... I think that sometimes masturbation could help you. If you yourself do not know how you can experience pleasure, the person on the other side could hardly read your every thought. Conversations between you on this topic should not be taboo either. Comment on the problems in sex and I think it will get to the bottom of it. In general, from what I read, it all comes from the fact that you are insecure, ie on a mental basis. Sex is not a porn movie and everyone at one time or another feels insecure or does not do something right. The point is to go with the flow and relax, to clear your mind of unnecessary thoughts and worries. I used to have the same problems, but the thing that helped me was exactly what I wrote above. I hope I helped in some way! I wish you good emotions! :) I hope I helped in some way! I wish you good emotions! :) I hope I helped in some way! I wish you good emotions! :)
I was like you too, for a while I couldn't relax with my husband, something was missing or stopping me, or I was tense and I couldn't relax, then my husband offered us to watch some soft porn together and to touch ourselves a little and then touching each other and really as if I relaxed something and started to get more aroused and started to get more wet and have more passionate sex and get stronger orgasms, then we went to watch other categories, hard, lesbo, threesomes, swing, and we never take care of them until the end because we can't stand it and start the action :) Try it and you change your positions and places and try it in the shower or in the car, and TELL HIM AND TELL HIM what you like and what not, it's not a shame to tell him where and how to touch you in the game before the penetration, and let the game be longer as long as you like it that way. Good luck :)
I'm exactly the same and I know why - I got married in despair, not out of love and I didn't have an orgasm with my husband, I don't expect a miracle to happen ... I don't dare to complain because I did it myself ... I won't a tree with a man I want, but I think all the trains are already lost! I have a thrill for another, but I'm too shy and congested to show it to him ... Just thinking about him, however, and I'm wet, I soak up ... I leave the conclusions of my tragic story to you ... If you have advice ... come on!