Hello, Something is bothering me a lot and I want to share it to make it a little easier for me. How do you deal with such situations I am a man (24 years old) and I have problems with a colleague at work. She is quite unrestrained and vicious, but I have to work with her for a while (oh, how lucky, I'm surrounded by women, and they put her on me). She is a very problematic character, she even admits it. The bad thing is that there is not a gram of desire to change - a very heavy character, he has to, he keeps track, he stands with his arms crossed, commanders, he pretends to be a boss, and he is far from that. I try to observe professional collegiality and I do not react sharply, although if we were not colleagues I would not be so balanced and I would quickly put it in its place. We had arguments several times, but I decided that there was no point in falling at her level and having a village quarrel. She is always right, she knows everything and she can, she is a real titan of thought and skill. But only in words, unfortunately ... This would not confuse me in any way if I did not have to be with her for 10-12 hours a day (sometimes even night shifts). There is no way to complain to the bosses, because I will look like a joker - a man, but he complains about a woman. I exclude this as an option. The bad thing is that in addition to crawling on my nerves, she also pours water on me - just waiting for a case that can embarrass me. I don't understand her game, to be honest. It will not get richer, or rise in the hierarchy if I get bored. That is, there is no point in my failure. At first I thought he liked me and that's why I behaved like that - a kind of provoking me, testing me. Yes, but another time. This is her malice. It's like I killed her family, or I ate breakfast in the morning. So why do they need people to make life difficult ??? I have always been communicative and understanding, I have found a common language with everyone, but I have not encountered such a miracle.
Answers 7
"There's no way I'm going to complain to the bosses, because I'm going to look like a joker - a man, but he's complaining about a woman. I rule that out as an option." You go and, like any normal employee, talk to your boss. This is a workplace, not a home environment. You take notes and write down exactly what she told you, etc. "Just a case is waiting for her to embarrass me. I don't understand her game, to be honest." Oh, I understand her game very well. In this way, she kills her inferiority complexes and takes on the role of a boss, because she herself knows that nothing happens to her. Head up and straight to the boss.
In state-owned enterprises and most companies it is full of such dissatisfied with life, petty and vicious individuals who will make your life bitter with or without a reason. He is not looking for a logical reason for their behavior. No such. You are neither disliked nor incompetent to them. They are just unhappy and they want you to feel just as unhappy. A friend works in the same environment, but he is hot-tempered and can't keep quiet. He put them in place and they stopped. Apparently this is the way with such people. Good luck :)
That's right, I fully support 1 and 2. Don't stay, don't look for reasons, etc. Go to the boss and talk, and resist her directly! Defend yourself, don't look to please anyone or shrink from fear - these bastards are everywhere, as they said above, and the more you dare not oppose them and endure, the more they will crush you. I have suffered many of these in various companies, I tell you from experience.
author: Thanks a lot for the help! You are right, I am generally open in life and I would not tolerate this kind of attempt to irritate her. I swallow a lot of things at the moment, just because I believe that at work one must, above all, be a professional - this means a correct and calm attitude towards colleagues, making some compromises in order to understand and achieve a common goal, etc. Unfortunately, some people have no sense of teamwork or teamwork. "dissatisfied with life, petty and vicious individuals" - you're right, it's something like that. I spend a lot of time with this colleague and during the time she doesn't get annoyed, she just shares her life misfortunes with me - all kinds of problems - she doesn't do it personally, she doesn't get along with people and all sorts of other things ... you cannot pretend to be the master of the world and spray only malice and people do not run away. I am angry that I show understanding and support, and the next moment she tells me in front of the boss about things that are not quite true and I have to justify myself as a sinner to a priest. The problem with complaining is that in front of the bosses it is holy water not drunk - he speaks quietly, with his head bowed, but the very modesty. Apparently, she has been building this image of a nun for a long time when it is convenient for her. She plays well, she is not small (she is not old, a little older than me) and she has been rehearsing for a long time. I don't want to complain to the bosses, but I will try to find a way to deal with it. Thanks again to everyone for understanding !!! which are not entirely true and I have to justify myself as a sinner to a priest. The problem with complaining is that in front of the bosses it is holy water not drunk - he speaks quietly, with his head bowed, but the very modesty. Apparently, she has been building this image of a nun for a long time when it is convenient for her. She plays well, she is not small (she is not old, a little older than me) and she has been rehearsing for a long time. I don't want to complain to the bosses, but I will try to find a way to deal with it. Thanks again to everyone for understanding !!! which are not entirely true and I have to justify myself as a sinner to a priest. The problem with complaining is that in front of the bosses it is holy water not drunk - he speaks quietly, with his head bowed, but the very modesty. Apparently, she has been building this image of a nun for a long time when it is convenient for her. She plays well, she is not small (she is not old, a little older than me) and she has been rehearsing for a long time. I don't want to complain to the bosses, but I will try to find a way to deal with it. Thanks again to everyone for understanding !!! a little bigger than me) and rehearsed for a long time. I don't want to complain to the bosses, but I will try to find a way to deal with it. Thanks again to everyone for understanding !!! a little bigger than me) and rehearsed for a long time. I don't want to complain to the bosses, but I will try to find a way to deal with it. Thanks again to everyone for understanding !!!
Number 1 writes to you again. Now that I read your statement that "it is holy water in front of the bosses, it is not drunk - speak quietly, with your head bowed, but modesty itself." I advise you to talk to the boss with whom you have the best relationship. And don't say you want to complain about her. Say you just want to share and ask him for help. Or ask him for advice on how to deal with it. Tell him all the things she tells you - I've already told you. But one species asked him for advice. I strongly advise you not to get involved in conversations with her when she starts complaining about her personal problems. You are neither her personal psychologist nor her vent. You just say, "I'm sure things will get better" or "I wish you all the best." And so ... and you pretend to work.
author: "I strongly advise you, when she starts to complain about your personal problems, NOT to get involved in conversations with her. You are neither her personal psychologist nor her vent" - very true and I thought so. Even at one point I talked to her only at work and avoided personal conversations because I did not accept this type of behavior - at one point to be a psychologist, and at another to stab me in the back. Great hypocrisy. For the moment, I hold back, but sometimes I just listen to her complaints and dissatisfaction with the whole universe out of politeness. She smiles, behaves nicely at some point, me too, I'm just starting to like that she started learning to communicate humanly and then, like thunder from a clear sky, she slaps me (not literally). Either he'll bite rudely, for no reason, or he'll ruin me for something. As I said before, There is a lot of malice in this girl / woman, not only towards me but towards life in general, but unfortunately I am now at her disposal. When I think about how many times I have covered it up for mistakes, because it is human and we all make mistakes, and we work in a team, we have to support each other. It is another proof of the words of one of my professors, who said that few people know how to work in a team.
Abe, it seems that in every company there is such a "miracle" that makes everyone else's life miserable! What can I tell you, I know it won't do you much good, but when I come close to such a creature, I just try to ignore it, as if it doesn't exist. Whether he speaks to me or not, I am a wall! I accept, we pass on, and so at one point I refuse them and they go looking for a new victim. The bad thing is that sometimes, no matter how hard I try, we have to contact through business. and then I want or don't have to pay her the attention she needs. But it still helps, I focus on my work and that's it.