Hello! I would like to share my problems with my friend! I'm 20 and he's 24, we've been together for three years. In the beginning everything was more than wonderful, I introduced him to our first days. He came to visit us every day and I was extremely happy, but over time he always wanted something - or he wanted to lend me money, under the pretext that he would return it to me, or he smoked my mother's cigarettes ... Don't get me wrong I'm not selfish, and especially for him I'm ready to give my all, but we are poor people, we don't have a lot of finances. After a few months, my mother couldn't stand it and forbade him to come home, after he allowed himself to take whatever he wanted, even without asking. My mother only works night shifts, so we went home without her knowing, because we had nowhere to go, because he still couldn't find a job and no money. My mother, of course, found out after her cigarettes kept dropping and I didn't smoke. We quarreled very fiercely after she found out that I was saving my money during the day to give to him. Anyway, I didn't care then if he was okay. He is terribly jealous and we were constantly arguing. I apologized to him for things I wasn't even guilty of. Many times I even humiliated myself by begging him to get along because I knew he was a good person inwardly, but I thought he was nervous because he didn't have a job. And of course I made mistakes with him, but with his actions he just pushed me to others. I want to emphasize that I did not cheat on him. And of course, when we argue, he uses these mistakes of mine and accuses me of doing that because, you know, 2 years ago, I stepped on the wrong foot and now he is giving it back to me. He's been getting very secretive lately, and whatever I ask him says he doesn't get in my job. Yesterday evening came out, and when we saw each other today and I asked him when he came home, he didn't answer me, he didn't even want to tell me who he was with, he just said that I had interfered too much in his personal space.
He told me with a lot of pain that he came home at 7 in the morning. I don't think there is another woman, he swore to me that if there was another, he would tell me to separate. He didn't bother to log in front of me on Facebook before, but now he doesn't want to. I asked him what the reason was, and he said he didn't want to see any of his correspondence with his friend on Facebook, and he knew very well that I had never searched his Facebook! It's like he's hiding something from me! At times he is very kind, he has always supported me, he surprises me, when he can ... But the fact that he constantly asks me for money, even if it's my last penny, and the fact that he constantly hides something from me worries me! He is a terribly controversial person, one time he is so kind, and another time he doesn't give a word to tell him. I tried to leave him, but when he remembers our good memories and I call him immediately, and he refuses me at the slightest tug, he is tired of scandals! I don't know what to do, it's hard for me, I always look for guilt in myself and when I find my mistake I correct it. We've talked many times about living together, but he keeps saying we can't do it. I have been working and studying for 2 years, and he is constantly changing jobs! Please help! Give your opinion, because I do not find a solution! Thank you! I sincerely ask the moderators to approve my story,
Answers 19
Well, this is the classic image of a complex, absolute loser! One day to pass, another to come, whatever we can steal, there is no need to tremble, after which we can !!! And what do you expect from such a person? !! You don't think / believe, I guess it will change? !! Or yes ....? !! He doesn't care about changing his diapers, to put it bluntly. Where is your self-esteem? He both "pulls" you and treats you like a mother, where she is hardly obliged to give, but she has no right to ask ... - that is, as a spoiled "man" not to write the other word. Girl, collect the remnants of your dignity and whatever you think you have and give him the initial speed of this one! Look at your life, look for the good, the positive, the smile! The boy who gave it to you! This one only takes you - materially and emotionally. For the face ... he has obviously targeted a new "victim" Get away from this, you don't have to pay for attention - cigarettes ... so-called Ole, I was angry! I don't understand, why don't you? !! As long as there are such girls, there will be such similarities of men! There are so many loners outside, there are quality ones among them. Don't you want to be happy? This will not happen! Run away, let his mother deal with him, she crushed this potpourri, let her itch!
Girl, this man is useless, you can love him, I don't dispute that, even he may have some feelings for you, but the truth is that it really doesn't work ... Look at the facts - it's not for work, it's not he becomes a husband, maybe at least he can and that should probably justify him for the rest, but things are not compensated, unfortunately ... I think he is a parasite, not only does he smoke, but he also steals cigarettes from others people, a very pathetic picture, one to one with the begging 20 stotinki or a cigarette ... I personally hate smoking and in your place even just because of that I would not pay attention to a smoker, but if we accept that this is an extreme, then the inability of your a person to work and begging from you, the thefts from your home, are indicative of what kind of parasite you keep. And your relationship itself is not going well once he's started hiding some things from you,
From everything described - run away. Your friend is an irresponsible user and a scoundrel. Don't expect someone to love and respect you - such people are not capable of that. I'm sorry to say ... but the sooner you get rid of it, the better.
Darling, this is not for you. I'm sorry, but you're only going to ruin your life with him.
Dear girl - I am a boy and with sorrow I want to tell you that I was in your situation, the problem is that we love and really give for our people, who instead of appreciating it take it for granted. Let me give you an example I loved a girl who was everything to me, hoping it was two-way, alas not. A lot of deprivation, and what I have not endured because of her in order to be happy to take her somewhere, to pay, to buy her boots in case I see her with wet feet (before I have something on my back). This is the difficult diagnosis of loving and always putting someone else's happiness and smile before your own. The funny thing is that a person loves and makes plans all the time related to the face in his life and daily life, and after the separation he feels empty. In my opinion, the happiest people are the gypsies who live day by day and the crazy people, but do not make my mistake to live for someone else. pp: I had a favorable development engagement, and soon a wedding, and how happy I am I know.
This is not a MAN, don't give him your money ... a real man would not ask for money from a woman, but would work hard, even if he gave it to her, this man looks easy ..
Well, you chose him. Do what you see fit.
Author, are you serious about keeping such rubbish with you for 3 years? Take it in your hands, work and study, and some aylak will milk you - how do you imagine the job in another 1-2 years when you will want to have a child? Did the decent men run out or did the women send out that they were ready to feed someone just for one e ** no!
this relationship has no future it would be best to break up!
But of course he is hiding something, or there is another !! I have been in a similar situation three times! Now it happens to me again! I live abroad, my friend is a student in a neighboring town, and on holidays he returned to Bulgaria while I stayed at work. Even there he started behaving strangely, and when he came home he stopped looking for me, writing to me, being rude to me, making me nervous, we broke up a few times, but I love him, and finally we got together again, finally I accidentally came across photos to which a girl was tagged, I also looked at the profile, it turned out that they were together on New Year's Eve (and she is older than him and has a child), I asked him what was going on and a scandal broke out, then decided it made no sense to we are friends on facebook, and 3 minutes after he removed me and said not to look for him anymore put their common profile picture ... Naturally, I went crazy and called him to ask him why he couldn't tell me as a person that there was another, and he laughed at me most brazenly and sarcastically and told me how pathetic I was! Then we got together again, because there was nothing between him and her, he just wanted to annoy me. In fact, some kind of total circus ... soon he got on my phone again, and I told him that no one is forcing me to be with him, today I blocked him from everywhere and I don't call him at all. Apparently he misses the doll that prays to him, and he glorifies him and keeps looking for me and praying and promising to make things right. But no. Don't believe she's an honest soul ... they're all liars by nature. One will fall ... another will change it;) because there was nothing between him and her, he just wanted to annoy me. In fact, some kind of total circus ... soon he got on my phone again, and I told him that no one is forcing me to be with him, today I blocked him from everywhere and I don't call him at all. Apparently he misses the doll that prays to him, and he glorifies him and keeps looking for me and praying and promising to make things right. But no. Don't believe she's an honest soul ... they're all liars by nature. One will fall ... another will change it;) because there was nothing between him and her, he just wanted to annoy me. In fact, some kind of total circus ... soon he got on my phone again, and I told him that no one is forcing me to be with him, today I blocked him from everywhere and I don't call him at all. Apparently he misses the doll that prays to him, and he glorifies him and keeps looking for me and praying and promising to make things right. But no. Don't believe she's an honest soul ... they're all liars by nature. One will fall ... another will change it;) that she is an honest soul ... they are all liars by nature. One will fall ... another will change it;) that she is an honest soul ... they are all liars by nature. One will fall ... another will change it;)
My ex behaved like yours. When I read about jealousy, your apologies, then about the change in secrecy ... I found real similarities. We were constantly arguing about small things, and he was constantly insinuating my mistakes from 1, 2 years ago and even things I did when I was little ... it was kind of horrible. And I was very good, I was ready for anything for him, we had good moments, but at one point the bad ones started to increase and I started to forget the good ones, probably it will happen to you too. I wrote this not as advice, but to explain to you that people are terribly difficult to change and change only if they decide for themselves, someone else could not influence them, even if they love strongly. I don't think anyone could give you very good advice. He will stay that way and it could get worse. and you think with such a man do you want to live? Do you want a family with that? With such a frivolous man? If you want to lie on your back all your life ... fine! x. x
Your only mistake is that you last this low user, you will sit quietly with him for a while longer, you will see for yourself what kind of garbage he is and you will beat his jester, you will not even need opinions from here - you decide. Only if I'm in your place will I beat his jester right now!
let's summarize things in material terms: - he works here and there - he asks you for money without considering your situation and does not return it - he takes cigarettes (here I have already felt complete disgust, he is just like a gypsy begging) - take whatever you like without even asking? !? Here's how things are with you: - terribly jealous - makes you feel guilty and makes you think that you are guilty of scandals and you have to pray to him - in turn does what he wants and does not tell you what does and where he goes. by the way, I agree with the others: if he doesn't show you his Facebook, then he's hiding something. most likely this is the next sacrifice in front of which the world is made without drinking water, whom the bad friend suffocates and does not leave him personal space. I don't know where you conclude he's a good man (I haven't seen anything good so far), I think that it keeps you with him or a habit, or the unwillingness to admit that you made a mistake in the choice and endured it for 3 years. both reasons are ridiculous, everyone makes mistakes, and many times, so lose him and don't make the mistake of forgiving him at all, no matter how much he begs you. people do not change, especially under the influence of another. good luck and write what happened! F42
Author: Thank you very much for the comments, they will really be useful to me! I really want to remove him from my life, but when we quarrel, I don't know what's happening to me, but everything starts to rage inside me and I look for him again, he drinks every drop of energy, but I can't forget him. Tell me from your personal experience how to cross out a person you really love and need, but you realize that it only hurts you. And our sex life is very bad, at most once a week, and before he wanted me constantly. He always finds excuses, which leads me to think that there is another, although he swears to me otherwise. Please do not be critical, I am currently in a difficult situation and I have very serious personal problems. You are currently my only advisors and any of your advice will be welcome! Thank you again!
From a man who is looking for money from a girl, NO ONE HAS SEEN ANYTHING GOOD. Remember this and don't count them like him! I had a case as a child. I was 17 years old. and I've liked it since I was 5 years old. He was a student and I was 17 and we went to 1 institution. I ordered, as did he. Then he told me he had no money to pay his bill, let alone mine. I paid my bill, I paid his. And I never wanted to see him again. As I liked it all my life, so it caught my eye for 1 second. I'm not a bastard and no one has taught me to judge men. But these are elementary things. You're exposing yourself!
Number 16 told you, and the fact that you hurried to spread your legs before you saw who you were dealing with is a problem, but it is not unsolvable. It is obvious that he has found another dairy cow and it is only a matter of time before the jester beats you - you do it to save the rest of your dignity! I don't scold you, everyone makes mistakes, fix yours while it's time!
Don't give him your money, author. You are smart, I know it, and be honest with your family. We understand that you live with your mother. Don't let her be stolen, pocketed and humiliated while she works to support you. Put an end to everything. He either deals with gambling, betting, returns money to someone or loans, you don't owe him. If you start to take a jerk seriously now, one day you won't recognize yourself in the mirror when you feel alone, without a crack or on the road. I hope you break away from him. If he wants personal space, to get a job and secure himself, but while relying on your financial support, as far as I understand it is your mother's help, not to keep track of where you are, who you are with and to raise crazy scandals. Don't break up with your mother. She will be with you, even when this loser beats his whip one day. Be good people,
Well, it's clear that he caught another and doesn't want to admit it to you, because you're naive and you'll do anything for him?
LOL, the lowest form of garbage. He uses them - simply and clearly. He takes your money, he takes your mother's cigarettes, he hides from you, he cheats on you one hundred percent, but he keeps you around so that there is someone else to exploit. Just because he swore he would tell you if there was another, LITERALLY means NOTHING. I now swear to you that in 2016 I was on the moon with the Pope. Yes ... that's how much oaths cost. Cut, go. You have good memories, keep them, don't get any more unpleasant ones.