Question to the female part, mainly to the committed ones. Have you ever met a man who is significantly superior to your partner in physical qualities (facial beauty, eye color, body proportions, height, tone of voice, gaze, behavior, etc.)? If so, how did you feel at that moment? Did you feel attracted to him, did you experience something special, did you have "butterflies in your stomach"? What provokes this specimen in you - admiration, desire for intimacy, sexual desire, jealousy, rage that it is not yours, or all together? Have you fantasized about people you know? Describe in a few words what this man looked like and how he behaved. And since I assume that most will answer "yes", I allow myself to prolong the "interrogation" a little more: do you still believe that appearance does not matter? Why women often choose a man for a long-term partner who does not meet your own beauty criteria is not "my type", as you usually put it. Why, when choosing a partner, do you often neglect the physical moment in favor of the supposedly higher feelings, omitting that love and passion are two equally important components of a full-fledged relationship?
And accordingly, it is very foolish to oppose the two (education and religion are already to blame here). I guess, just like us men, you have an image of an ideal partner (or partners). But when I move around the city I often see couples in which the man is far from any notion of beauty, it looks downright unattractive. Here I emphasize that physical beauty is not only Brad Pitt, but definitely not Danny DeVito. And a lot of the so-called "marital material" tends to the second. And in this line of thought, I inevitably come to the conclusion that when a woman chooses a long-term partner, her message is, "You are not gifted enough to want me, but you are humble and impersonal enough to raise my children!" “. PP Please only answer people who really have something to say on the subject and have the desire to share it. I don't need memorized clichés and reassurances such as "This is not the most important thing", "Emphasize other qualities", "You are not old / mature", etc. I am seriously interested in the answer to this question and I am looking for shared experience and reflections on it. Thanks. to wish you, but you are humble and impersonal enough to raise my children! “. PP Please only answer people who really have something to say on the subject and have the desire to share it. I don't need memorized clichés and reassurances such as "This is not the most important thing", "Emphasize other qualities", "You are not old / mature", etc. I am seriously interested in the answer to this question and I am looking for shared experience and reflections on it. Thanks. to wish you, but you are humble and impersonal enough to raise my children! “. PP Please only answer people who really have something to say on the subject and have the desire to share it. I don't need memorized clichés and reassurances such as "This is not the most important thing", "Emphasize other qualities", "You are not old / mature", etc. I am seriously interested in the answer to this question and I am looking for shared experience and reflections on it.
Thanks. I am seriously interested in the answer to this question and I am looking for shared experience and reflections on it. Thanks. I am seriously interested in the answer to this question and I am looking for shared experience and reflections on it. Thanks.
Answers 24
Gone are the days when a man could impress me with his appearance. When I meet an extremely attractive man, I look at him like looking at a beautiful picture. I feel aesthetic pleasure and nothing more. I'm not saying I'm blind and I can't judge anyone but my husband, but it's a fact that not a handsome man can shake my feelings. Once I have found the Man, it is simply frivolous for one blue eye and muscular arms to have doubts. Every woman who does this is either completely frivolous and doesn't know what she wants, or she just hasn't found the right man. F 25
I don't want James Bond, I want Bill Gates. Which woman will refuse the second, which? F26
The topic became very interesting to me because I really had the same thoughts. I am a 23 year old woman and I love my boyfriend. He is not the most beautiful physically, but there was a boy who still occasionally captures my thoughts, who was really handsome. For a long time my mind wandered between the two, because my boyfriend and I had been together for a long time, and the initial passion had subsided, while I seemed to feel that I would find her again in the other boy. After a while it turned out that this other boy - the handsome man - does not have half of the qualities I look for in a man - he is complex, angry with the world, aggressive, ignited by nothing, takes negatively everything around him, is capable to make you feel in a hole full of silence, or screaming, every word I said was a potential bomb for new problems and seemed to create problems out of nowhere that were repeatedly exaggerated without being anything serious. I learned all this while trying to get to know him, and thank God I realized all this early, because as I had set out to get to know him, so I would have gone further. Along with him, I realized what a wonderful person my friend is. We have been living together for four years and we have not quarreled once. It is true that from time to time this former boy comes to my mind and I have various fantasies, but I can never imagine that there would ever be anything more between me and him than sex, and maybe sex for one or several dinners. I want to advise everyone to first get to know the person next to them and then to draw conclusions. Often men pretend not to be, and it becomes difficult to understand what they really are. I was lucky that while I was trying to get to know him, he had another one and only saw me as a closer friend. Now I don't even keep in touch with him, because even his friendship is unbearable.
In the interest of truth, I have been married for 12 years and have never had a "mind-boggling image of an ideal partner." And no, women do not think whether he is gifted enough or whether he is hrisim or impersonal, we are aware that 8 cm are enough for a generation. The truth is that we do not love women with our eyes, like you men, we women love with our ears! If he says what we want to hear, he will be the most desired man. Yes, a lot of women say they like an actor, but if you think about it, this actor has starred in at least two very famous romantic movies and played scenes with long love outbursts. But directors are usually men and choose a handsome man for romantic movies. I guarantee you that if an ugly actor plays such a famous movie with such romantic lines, there will be just as many admirers as the handsome one, even more,
Of course, I know that there are people who are more beautiful, but the fact that someone is beautiful on the outside does not mean that we will like him in another way. Besides, he may not like the handsome man and let's enjoy what we have ...
I am with the ideal. It may not be Vin Diesel, but for me it is ideal, physically and mentally. Blue eyes, blonde hair and a tight body ... but that's not the first thing. The important thing is that I am everything for him, he loves me very much. He makes my sweetest things, he gives me flowers all the time, he even robs my grandmothers' gardens to make me happy. When he gets drunk he is very sweet, he doesn't stop talking about everything. He is a father, grandfather and lover. For almost six years we have not been satisfied with ourselves. Every time is like the first time. Every day I thank God. I slipped a little. My thought was that ... for someone else he may be ugly and unattractive, but for me it's everything. The whole world in two warm eyes.
I am a woman of 42. of course, there have been men who excite me, attract me, bring butterflies to my stomach, etc. I will only clarify that it is not just a matter of purely physical attraction, but also of mind, manners, demeanor, speech, etc. n., although purely physical attraction is present. even now there is a colleague who has long attracted me in the way described. we are friends with him (I emphasize, not intimate) - we regularly drink coffee, have lunch together, before we were neighbors, he drove me in his car when we were in one direction and we met, we walked in the park when we met, etc. If you ask why my husband is not like him: there is no way my husband can be the best in every way, there will always be someone who will surpass him. however, I do not have the illusion that others are perfect, if in one respect they are better, in another they will be lame and vice versa. so the choice of a man is some reasonable compromise between all the qualities. if you are interested in anything else, ask :-)
When I met my husband, I was in a long relationship with another boy. He attracted me physically from the first time and it is so to this day. I married for love, as it is called, and I am grateful to fate. I was given this opportunity. So I wanted to say that this is how it turned out for me - first we were attracted by the appearance and then our relationship developed into a happy marriage and so for 10 years ...
Author, it has happened to everyone, but it seems to me that you will be the next one who will be deceived by the 'very good qualities' he possesses and you will hope for a 'better life' with him. Look, give up! The first impression lies about the appearance in general and what a person shows to a certain person does not always coincide. The other thing is, you will lose your friend only because of a few passionate nights with the one who certainly does not have serious intentions towards you as much as you towards him!
Before I met my current partner, I was with such a handsome man. Maybe I would stay with him if he could offer me other qualities besides his appearance. He wasn't a bad boy, we just didn't get along. Over time, I hated to compromise because of his beautiful eyes, and his beauty changed, or maybe I started to see him differently, I no longer loved him. I know you don't want to hear: it's not the most important thing, but it really isn't. Anyway, the way you see a person changes after you meet him ... he no longer looks beautiful or becomes the most the beautiful creature on earth! And most beautiful specimens are too narcissistic to behave normally!
I don't know how old you are, but the concept of type is very limiting for me! So different, beautiful, charming and not so beautiful, but with radiance you can meet people in this world who are interesting to you and say to yourself "It's not Alain Delon, but there is something inexplicable in this boy!" Yes, you can not to be the most tumultuous and mind-boggling love, but still to be real and somehow quietly and unnoticed to merge with your whole being and want it every day, and if it is not next to you it will hurt you and stay in your heart. A little big love!
Only one thing I didn't like about my own man. The man is not a thing. Every woman is looking for something different in men. Butterflies do not come to me because of body, eyes, etc. When I felt, butterflies in relation to my husband, it was not because of the color of his eyes or his figure. He is a good man to me, but that did not pique my interest. Slightly stubborn, patient, at times impulsive, but at the same time loving, caring, noticing even the smallest things. The fact is that the butterflies are gone, but there is something else in their place. And I also don't see how I will have him by my side and flutter for someone else
I'm a woman of 24, I may not have had much experience with men, but still for me appearance matters. I look at things from such a point of view that I myself have an attractive appearance and cannot afford (or deliberately avoid) being with someone who does not meet my criteria. I know it may sound very silly or narcissistic, but on the other hand I've been with less attractive men ... and things don't really work out, they themselves feel overwhelmed by my qualities, be it visual or purely human. Unfortunately, lately I also see constantly "strange" for my understanding couples, such as. extremely beautiful, young, intelligent women with some ugly (to put it mildly) simpletons and vice versa, decent men (in the true sense of the word) with demeanor, manners, upbringing, with some I don't even know how to express myself ... And for me personally this is not just strange, but outrageous. It is inadmissible not to respect yourself and to deal with the first person you meet, for fear of being left alone and what not. It is worthy of respect to say "when you know the price", ie you know what you want, you know what kind of person you are and you are not satisfied with the mediocre. Of course, the beauty and appearance are up to date, it is clear that we will all grow old, but the appearance is maintained, this is about hygienic habits and elementary (and not so much maintenance), things are complex, you can not just count that e.g. you have blue eyes and blond hair to say ... it is important to have style, radiance, self-confidence, to be interested in your physique and to take care of it. So it's important to me how a man looks visually,
In general, I am more attracted to a man's ability to speak than to his vision. It has happened to me to sleep with an unattractive man (excess weight, smoking too much, uneven teeth and other physical defects), in whom I like the ability to speak. The result - he had great sex and this prevailed in our relationship in the future. It struck me (not to be affected, every rule has its exceptions) that very handsome men with many admirers are usually very selfish in bed. That's why most of my relationships were with not so handsome men, but with emphasized other skills.
Author, am I wrong or are you jealous? Are you a man - tell yourself. The answers so far are very adequate and should have reassured you (if I understood the subtext of your questions correctly)?
Well, as a committed 29-year-old woman, I would say that I don't feel any attraction to men who are visually superior to my partner. Moreover, the vision is not the only thing that would distract me. I get everything I need from a man, I don't know why I would ever want more.
I've been engaged for a few years, I love my partner so much that I don't even notice the men around me.
My ideal for a man WAS: Tall, dark brown, black hair, dark blue or gray eyes, athletic body, proportionate. Doooo about 10 years ago, when a man 175, tall, blond with brown eyes, a huge chest, huge shoulders for his height literally burst into my salon ... He looked bad to me and the next moment he grinned like a boy. even his eyes laughed, his rags "turned" my insides. I turned my back on him, I wanted to hide the effect on me / my face, but I stumbled and staggered back. he was about 3 meters away from me, and for a split second his arms were around my waist. at that moment I just wanted to stay there, hug him and time to stop;))))) Now, 10 years later, I would not change a millimeter of it. Yes, I see good men, but that idea of mine is no longer the same, they all miss the most - the important thing,
The man must radiate passion, his eyes must shine with desire when he talks to you, to be funny, intelligent and with a sense of humor. This is the kind of man I wish for, even if he is not the greatest handsome man. Well, if he is disliked, it is not possible, but it is enough to be nice and charming. For example, some time ago I had a colleague - a friend (not intimate, however, we did not have sex, although we wanted to). He was bald with glasses, but he had a very nice smile and so much sex flowed from him that I liked him much more than a handsome man.
If it had happened to me. What butterflies are you talking about, I would have raised my legs ...
... honestly I never underestimate my husband either as a style or as an opportunity ... this is an important criterion for me .... if you understand me ... ZARA
Author ... I'm a 32-year-old man ... I may be wrong, but I was left with the impression that appearance plays the most important role, I know many claim that this is not the case, but it seems to me that they are overplaying. How will a woman want to protect you if she doesn't like you? .. She won't even look at you, who will give you a chance to get to know her, and then they shout that the cherry look was not important, it is important and how. A good man always has a better chance to tie someone up, and in the future how things will develop, there is another job.
Yes, it happened to me once to meet a man who has a radiance and qualities that my longtime partner has never had and will never have. My partner is beautiful and very sparing of feelings and emotions - a cold person, but good, caring and responsible. And this one is charming, fickle and unreliable, but full of life and energy and with a very, very sexy charge - as if on his forehead it says "I know you want me". When I saw him in question the first few times, he looked at me rudely and seriously every time - it disgusted me and I thought he was an ugly psychic. But once he smiled at me, he opened his lips and greeted me with that sexy hoarse voice and my knees softened. In time, he began to court me like no one before. My heart skipped a beat when I saw him. But I did not succumb to temptation;)
Precisely because of the lack of criteria in women, there is an opinion among men that everyone can be with anyone, as long as they catch it at the right time in the right mood. _Az_