Hi, I need some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, but since he cheated on me at a disco with a colleague, we often get annoyed about it, because I can't be sure that everything is over and he doesn't communicate with her at work anymore. When I ask him, there is always a scandal, because there was nothing. My question is - am I to blame for not believing or is he to blame for this mistrust? Who was in such a situation, what was the solution?
Answers 5
You are both guilty! It's simple: 1. Something was not enough for him to get to infidelity, ie you did not give him enough 2. As a complete idiot, he did not talk to you about it, but is a colleague. . If he talked to you about it, but you were sitting on your ears, you're a complete idiot. 3. You have found out about the infidelity and you no longer believe him, which is NORMAL 4. He realizes (or not) that he was wrong and regrets that he did it (or that you caught him). In any case, it irritates you to constantly raise the issue and stir in the wound, which naturally leads to scandal. To sum up: If you can't accept that he cheated on you and have unconditional trust that he won't do it again, you better break up. There is no point in tormenting yourself, watching yourself and wondering who will ever go wrong.
Either clarify the issue once and for all, or part with it, it can't go on like this. If you haven't caught up with him again, there's no point in continuing to dig into this topic and poison your relationship with old mistakes.
Either you sit down and seriously discuss your relationship, or you fuck him. You don't believe him and that's how it should be. Watch the behavior - is it behaving differently than before, is it more distant. If so - look for a new one. Ask yourself why he did it, however, if you are not to blame, it is easiest for the other to demonize. That's it.
Let me tell you from personal experience ... once he was inclined to cheat on you - he will do it again! And I was like you (I'm a boy) and that's how I experienced infidelity at 300 dawn, I forgave and then I was very sorry. From all the work I have learned that CHEATING - IS NOT FORGIVEN! In the beginning he / she will behave well and everything will be OK! , but "that" period will come again and will catch up with someone / someone else (s). Keep it a little shorter ... impose some regime on him (enough to startle him, but don't overdo it), and if he starts to contradict you - just say "Okay!". If you have a friend - an acquaintance. Finally get him out so your friend can understand. Smile often when he writes to you or calls you in 2 words - show him how it feels;). I hope he comes to his senses, and if even then it has no effect - just throw it away. It is not worth wasting your time with such people who do not care about you and think that they have and will always have you;) YOU ARE NOT A TOY !! Good luck and be brave :). A. S5
I do not agree with comment number 1. It is in the nature of men to cheat. Not everyone is missing something. Most do it because they want to try something new, they want variety or they just want to make their girlfriends jealous of them. Some time ago I was in your position too. My friend cheated on me. Then we went 7-8 months, but I can no longer. I was constantly teasing him, things were constantly going to this topic, some scandals every day. We went out for coffee, I started the topic because it was a sore spot and there was silence and anger. He apologized to me countless times, he was really sorry, but I couldn't accept him. I am a person who would not cheat and cannot accept to be cheated on. Finally, I told him it was better to take a break, and now I'm happy because I met someone who wouldn't cheat on me. You have to decide what to do, if you are so hurt, if you can forgive him, if you love him so much to be with him. Success!