Hello everyone! :) I searched the site, but I did not find an answer to my question and that is why I am writing now. I will ask the moderators to publish my story. :) Would you share your opinion on the issue of the age difference between two people? I am a girl of 16 and in contact with a man of 25-28 years. He claims that with such a difference, it is impossible to have a relationship, but I want it, really. What do you think about that? There will be differences in views and thinking, but we have a lot in common ... Have you had such a relationship and what was the situation? In general, say what you think about it in general. And not to say that I'm an accountant, etc. I want to make it clear that I'm not interested in his money, or his car, or anything. I want him to be by my side and to feel only peace and protection. Because I'm not safe even in my own home, but that's another topic and I won't go into more. I want emotional support from him, lots of hugs and tenderness. I accept any comments. Thanks for reading me! :)
Answers 16
A 23-year-old man I am. Let me tell you, I personally would not feel comfortable with a girl who is 16. Let me tell you, without trying to offend you and without bad feelings ... I do not see what a 25-28 year old will find. a man in 16 years child, except perhaps pure and simple carnal and sexual attraction. If he is a "tarikat" he can try to catch you and possibly sleep with you, but that's it. He will hardly want anything serious. The reality is as follows. You think you've grown and grown for your age, but you stay 16 years old. and in fact you have seen nothing of life, you have suffered almost no lessons, and so on. Someone so big will manipulate you super easily and make you do what he wants, and you won't even realize it. He will talk to you about babbling, about the things of life, you will tell him about the textbook in Geography ... things don't happen that way. Sorry if I was too rude. That's how I see things.
10 years difference would not matter if you are 25 and he is 35 for example. But you're still a kid, a disoriented girl, and he's a man. You still have a lot to learn and you will only waste his time. Or he will ruin you if you decide to start a family without time, instead of studying. I tell you this from the position of a woman who is 15 years apart from her husband.
Is he 25 years old or 28? By the way, I don't think it's a problem once you're 16. Ten years apart is also not a problem. My husband and I are 22 years apart and we get along great.
He's pretty big darling. You will not feel good in such company. When you go out with his friends, how will you feel or is he in your company? He works, you study. He has a completely different life from yours.
I'm 30 and I personally don't see what kind of relationship I could have with a 16-year-old girl. pedophilia.
Children adore their fathers and find solace in their presence. That is why the author is happy with the relationship, finds peace with a more serious man than if she is dealing with a pimpled teenager. But it's time, as the years go by, that difference plays a bad joke. The woman is in her strength, and the man's years have passed, then the quarrels occur. Love does not know ages, if a girl is well and if a man is valuable, let him experience his love, and the future will show if she is right.
Absolutely right Number 1. I was in the same situation a few months ago - I liked "daddy", who was ten years older than me. I fell head over heels in love - I only thought about him; it seemed amazing, great, etc. We saw each other every day, I confessed to him that I was in love, later he responded to my feelings, only to dump me in a month. That is, he took what he wanted (understand - he slept with me), and disappeared, and I was left with a broken heart. It was very difficult for me to overcome him, because he made me believe that he was in love too and became a mess ... Otherwise, I was like you - I thought that the age difference means nothing (I just wanted to be with him, to have him love, etc.), it is so on the one hand, de; more importantly, however, the difference in experience really matters. I don't know how many relationships you had at 16, but reading what you write, you look super inexperienced to me and he will manipulate you very easily - even without wanting to intentionally, no matter how unbelievable. My advice is not to slap each other when the boy just tells you that such a relationship is impossible. Because if you persist and show him how much you want to be together, it is very likely that he will eventually agree, sleep with you and dump you afterwards. I'm sorry if I sound pessimistic, but there are only such examples around me. It happens to a lot of girlfriends aged 16-18 who get involved with older ones. On the other hand, experience is gained only through experiences, so if you accept the chance that they can break your heart and you are ready to fight for his attention, jump forward. You will learn a lot and the next time you will not be so naive. And it is possible to get things done - and there are such stories. After all, we live one life. : D
When I was 22 years old. I had an affair with a man who was 37 years old. , the relationship was very emotional, full of wonderful experiences, but he wanted something from me that I could not give him-family. If you do not have ambitions to learn and develop, you are a woman, if you are beautiful you will have no problem attracting him quickly, but if you want to develop a career and you are combative and ambitious, you better find someone who will go next to you and will experience everything with you, not a teacher who has gone this way.
I don't think it will happen between you, not because he's too big, but because you're too small. 10-15 years is not an insurmountable difference for a relationship, but at your age there are still many things you do not know and can not comprehend, you are still a child, and he is already a man. Being with a man, you have to be a woman and that does not mean for you to have started the cycle or to have sex, but for you to mature mentally and emotionally. Here we have to say a big "thank you" to this man who soberly assessed the situation and told you that it would not work, and did not take advantage of your willingness to have fun with you and then rub you. .
"I want him to be by my side and feel only peace and protection. Because I'm not safe even in my own home, but that's another topic and I won't stretch any more. I want emotional support, a lot of hugs and tenderness from him." I'm left with the impression that you want this man to be something like a parent to you, because you obviously don't feel comfortable in your own home with your parents. You better not deal with it. Find someone your age, because nothing will come of it.
From the author: Thank you all for the comments. It is quite clear to me already. :) Some said that I am looking for a parent - I had not thought about it, but it may be so. My father died a few years ago and maybe I'm just looking for him, I know ... But you're right - such a relationship is impossible. It will not be difficult for me to move away from him and stop contacting him. I've done it before ... I'll wait another year or two, maybe more, and then I'll think about a relationship, but now it can't happen. And as for my peers - not at all, but I don't like boys my age at all. They are so stupid and so immature that I have no chance to go with such a creature. I have the feeling that I have nothing to do with them except age ... I will watch my studies and work. I will not be distracted because I want to study and then be able to achieve something, to be completely independent. Although I am now - just because of my age I can not break away. Again - thank you very much! Deep down I knew it couldn't happen, but I needed confirmation and I got it thanks to you! Thanks! :)
Don't look for men to fix your problems in life, but learn to overcome them on your own! They have very correctly advised you to focus on boys your age!
I've also been in a relationship with a 25-year-old man for a year now .. And I'm 13 .. If he tells you he doesn't stand a chance ... So he doesn't want it ... Accept the facts
Until №11 How do you think that this 25-year-old will be like a parent, rather like a brother! To the author! You don't need the permission of outsiders, just judge the situation. Do your parents know him? Would they approve it? If you see that it can happen, go, if it doesn't work, accept whatever happens! In the end, don't let it happen that it passes you and dumps you, be careful! Your difference is normal, the thing is that you are early, and he already has needs and wants a family! you have 2-3 years to graduate, then if you study at university, he has to wait another 6-7 years! Only you know.
I am 15 years old and I have a relationship with a foreigner at 28. It is not such a big problem with us, maybe because he has experienced many things like me. I also have ambitions and yes the only problem is that I can't give him what he wants and it's family. But in my opinion, if there are no feelings and it is for one sex, you better not take the risk. Success!
And I agree with number 1, but to some extent. At the age of 17 I had a relationship with a 30-year-old man, with whom I did not succeed, and at the age of 19 I met a 38-year-old man with whom we have been together for 15 years and we have already created 2 children. Both men have nothing to do with my father as a character, as a physicist, and they have nothing in common even with each other. I just saw quickly because I come from a troubled family and I struggled with life very early on, which made people my age look like boys to me. I literally had nothing to say to them, and even at that age I didn't think I would almost meet the man of my life - I thought we would break up in a year or two. Today I am 30 years old and here, my sets have grown, they have collided with life and now I can at least have a conversation with them and work together, but still when I compare them with my husband they look like complete fools to me and not because of age, but simply because my husband is unique as an education, a way of life - for example he has traveled the world literally, he has worked in various fields, there are many interesting friends and so on - I haven't been bored with him for 1 minute, and I look at my watch with other men. For example, we had a class meeting a year or two ago, and again, my wives were more interesting, and the men in my class stayed fresh in this meeting for me. My cousins bring their friends home every holiday and do nothing but listen to my husband all night and be his courtiers. I don't even have a base. I don't think I'm looking for a father and I don't think the author sees a 25-year-old father. My relationships were anything but a father-daughter relationship, and my first friend even relied on me for many things, so he was everything to me, but not a "father." I think everyone has the right to choose their partners. The author is not 12 years old, but 16 years old. At this age, being with an older man has at least the advantage that he will have more experience and will not refuse to use condoms, for example, like the boys who "keep" and they only know how to inflate the bellies of schoolgirls, and besides, limiting yourself to people your age is boring ... and it doesn't always work - what do I care that I'm with an older man after being happy with him for so many years already, we have healthy and happy children, a family in which love, respect and peace reign? At least I personally do not know another family like ours - my best friend is a single mother and has a relationship with a married man, a close relative is with a middle-aged man who is 40 years old. and she doesn't have 1 day of work experience and she literally works 3 shifts to feed him, my own parents' marriage is a disaster, even though they are 3 months apart, my grandmother is a 30-year-old widow, even though her husband was as much as her - in short, I do not see much advantage in being with a man your age. The important thing is to love two people, to respect each other, to have similar values, interests and way of life. The rest is in order ...