Hello, a 20-year-old girl writes to you. I don't have a boyfriend at the moment, I've had 2 so far, but nothing serious happened with any of them. I have been seeing a 38-year-old man for some time. He is not married, he did not have a wife or a child. We have known each other for maybe a year, but no one has done anything during that period. We met by chance 1 month ago and since then he started writing to me. We see each other almost every day (let me emphasize that we do not have sex). He called me to work to see me for 10 minutes (he is a policeman and I often keep him company while he works), he introduced me to his friends, some of them are even around my age. He didn't even hint at sex, it seems that he has serious intentions, I also want something serious, but I know that we have no future together. I also work a lot, mostly night shifts, sometimes I only rest once a week, I would say I get a very good salary, I'm a serious girl, but we just don't have a future together. After all, he is 38 years old, it's time for a wife, children, and I don't think I'm ruining my life with these things from now on. I also study higher education, life is just in front of me. We get along very differently, and he's the same crazy head as me, he goes out to discos all the time, back and forth, he's not like some kind of "retiree", which I really like. I see that he has sunk into me, he writes to me literally every free minute, but with each passing day I wonder if I should finish all this, because if I procrastinate for a long time, I will eventually fall in love and it will become even harder. I recently told my sister that I was seeing the man in question, and she started muttering to me (she is 28 years old) that he was big, he started making jokes, which didn't make me happy. Well, I guess that if something happens, other people's reactions will be the same, and my parents will probably write me off, even though I'm already big, I support myself completely and I'm not dependent on them. Please tell me how to proceed? I am very confused. At one point I tell myself that this has to end, and that I have to find a boy around my age, and at another point I tell myself that if two people want each other, age doesn't matter, etc. Give me advice, please...
Answers 15
Follow your heart. Sometimes you have to live for the moment and stop looking to the future. Something could happen tomorrow. Enough with these prejudices. And the man has not hinted at marriage and children, how do you suppose it is his time? He may not want to. If you have any feelings, the person treats you well and you fit in, why not? Julian
In my opinion, age is not a factor, yes 18 years is a lot, but if he really loves you and has intentions for you, why not?
Pf: D Some shaky hook, which if I see him in the streets and recognize him I will break his bucket vulgar. What is a miserable cop? If I have to be honest, I am a bodyguard and not from the old ones, but from those where there are 193 centimes and 120 kilos each. However, I do not meet 40-year-old grandmothers (in your case, grandfather). Let me note that I am 22 years old and I am ashamed of my close sets of your type.
Are you ready for a family with a man so much older than you? You are only 20. How do you see yourself after 5 years with him and possibly a child / children? Break up until he decides that you already have a relationship ... it's time for him, he's even late, but will you sacrifice yourself because it's time for him?
Hello! I will advise you something that I myself would do in such a situation. If you have feelings for this person, as well as he for you - WHAT PREVENTS? No one has the right to forbid you this love. You can always build plans for the future together! An 18-year difference would be a problem if you were 13 but a mature woman. Your life is yours, and does anyone know ... maybe this is your love and happiness. I advise you to try. You can always stop if it doesn't work. I wish you many smiles and happiness ^^ J. 19
You yourself wrote that you feel that when you procrastinate you will fall in love, obviously in this respect you feel good, which in the future will bring you only positives. Knock a few times to pass your desire and then move on. Now it may seem like a fresh piece and it probably is, but if you get in touch with it, it will literally consume the freshest years of your life, when you have to live actively, yet to get to know yourself as a person (because a person really up to 28-29 is an unformed character, due to which your thinking in different, some of them quite important things will change 1-2 times in some cases). And he's already made a living and he's probably looking for some naive girl to give him his freshest years to make basically things out of his ... let's call it a 'life plan'. Your sister is right (I'm a year older than her), although she reacts in a totally wrong way, which creates an affect in you and that's why you think of a 'relationship' with this one. Ignore that she is laughing at you because she is right and think about your plans and dreams. And yes, it's normal for him to go out to discos and bars all the time - he has to find a little woman to go to his mind ... Otherwise I guarantee you 100% that he is not the same 'head' as you, he can now. to be 'crazy', but certainly not the same. You are the least of different generations. You wrote yourself that you don't want to go home. Find a boy your age with whom to build each other's lives, to compromise each other in the name of your relationship - to give equally, to set goals together and to achieve them. With such drastically older people, you will always be the one who will make more compromises, who will have to give more of himself! They experienced their youth as they enjoyed it. And like I told you now, he just wants to steal your freshest years. Ignore comments that will invite you to tie him to a relationship, because these are just different ones that are in solidarity with him.
Try it, then you may regret it! Give the relationship a chance, you may not have such a person, and a second chance and you will regret bitterly what it means to fall in love - isn't that the best thing a person wants. What is a relationship without LOVE for you. You receive-give .... years are not a factor! Cleverly -think! ж49
Follow your heart! You are a smart girl and I think that even if you happen to take some more serious steps in love in the future, you will achieve what you want in all areas of your life. I don't know, I would live with love, and when I look, the boy is in no hurry.
A complex that uses you only for display. Pitiful demonstrations for colleagues and friends, and maybe for another woman. You emphasize that you do not have sex, but it is more important for others to think that you do. Guess what his friends and colleagues think about it? Do they think you just go talk and keep him company while he works? He is a manipulator! If you like being a doll on strings - go, fall in love! You're young, you have time to waste ... or lessons.
number 9, what boy? !? At 38? !? Boy? !? Well, especially from miles away, it is obvious that you are mega in solidarity with your uncle! Horror. Let her go talk to the girls "his age, this 38 year old boy". And I wish the author to find a smart and promising peer like herself, with whom they can achieve everything they want in all spheres of life, with whom they can walk the path of growth and then together! on the path of aging. With the 38-year-old boy "this can't happen, because he" will soon be on the verge of aging, while for this author spring is yet to come! In general, I am terrified of all those who are in solidarity with the 38-year-old boy ".... I think it is high time for our society to start giving more confidence to real boys aged 18, 20, 24, 27 ... so they will have more confidence to catch a girl like the author, for example ... and be happy and beautiful together, and now what - young boys are mentally crushed, humiliated and belittled, and 40-year-olds are widely advertised and incited to confused thoughts and the still unexplained feelings about their selves young girls. At 20 she was a mature woman ... ahaa so at 20 she is a mature woman to tie at 38 years old, but if it was about other things you would not define her as a mature woman at all .. then she would be small, immature, etc. n. Enough with this oriental mentality! and the 40-year-olds are widely advertised and pushed to the confused thoughts and still unexplained feelings about their selves by young girls. At 20 she was a mature woman ... ahaa so at 20 she is a mature woman to tie at the age of 38, but if it was about other things you would not define her as a mature woman at all .. then she would be small, immature, etc. n. Enough with this oriental mentality! and the 40-year-olds are widely advertised and pushed to the confused thoughts and still unexplained feelings about their selves by young girls. At 20 she was a mature woman ... ahaa so at 20 she was a mature woman to tie at 38, but if it was about other things you wouldn't define her as a mature woman at all ... then she would be small, immature, etc. n. Enough with this oriental mentality!
Why not have a future together? Age is not the deciding factor. The important thing is to feel close and reciprocal on his part. At this age, he also has the experience and judgment of how far he can go. I think something serious and real can happen between you. You are 20, you can give birth to a bunch of children. If he wants a family, you are the right person for him. You would hardly prefer his peer to a young and fresh girl like you. Success!
My opinion is not to listen to any comment. Follow your heart, that's all I'm going to tell you. Everyone speaks here through his prism, a limited and not so limited opinion.
H 11, exactly, it is the aging men who crush the young boys! Envy, fear of aging, hope for the last "suction" of young energy, etc. In no case can a man of / about / over 40 be equal to a young girl full of energy and dreams, not as a boy of this age would be.
If the author wants a bunch of children, it would be best to focus on a 20-25 year old boy who will have a much better chance of financial development, because today there are much better opportunities for a young person to develop than before. Let's say 18 years old, and therefore a 20-25 year old boy will have much better opportunities to provide for this bunch of children, because THE TIME IS BEFORE HIM! Although the author mentioned that she is not ready to go home yet, I still had to clarify because of the next dose of cheap solidarity with the boy "(on the 12th number). And the 38-year-old boy" to manage as best he can. Number 12, how did he do it alone - as if he is in a position to prefer ... cheap and low processing of feelings and the author's self-perception in general. Author, know and remember that you are in a position to prefer,
TO NUMBER 3 - SINCE WHEN THE GUARDS BECAME MUTRI BELESH? !! Next to you, dear girl, I think do what you think is good. True, 18 years is not small, but it is not so important. The important thing is to feel happy. Good luck, I hope you make the right choice for you.